₦airaland Forum

MissMercedes:
So that justifies his actions? If I had continued to make excuses for my ex, maybe I'd be dead by now.
Of course, he hasn't assaulted you again. Not yet, anyway. But do you really want to wait around for another occurrence?

Oh well, the choice is yours. You're the one in the relationship with him. Stay with him... leave him... whatever you decide, I hope you'd be happy at the end of the day.

sweerychick:
I understand you, and I can never be in an abusive relationship, what I meant is that it was an isolated incident, cos he warned me not to push him to the wall that the day, I dared him even to the extent of holding his clothes for him not to leave my presence, I think that was what infuriated him more, and he lost his temper and assaulted me, by slapping me and pushing me aside. He started weeping afterwards, when I left the house crying. He was begging me to come back but I didn't. My anger was that he waited for 4days before putting a call across me.

sweerychick:
you don't understand, it's painful to let go

Baddo101:
Babe. U ve realy suffered serious heartbreak biko I ve sent u a P.M. reply me back and lets start from dia.....

Kemicares:
There's no second thought on this, for him to have slapped you is enough reason to leave him, there are one million guys who would love you better and treat you right, there's no such thing as "you might not find a guy who would love better" you deserve to be respected and treated like a queen. Concentrate on your studies thats your priority for now. #its simply commonsense

byvan03:
Don't ever push this far with anyone please, I really can't put the blame on him for what you got. The problem here is that he isn't into you anymore, just move on with your dignity intact. Calling friends and asking them to speak on your behalf is childish, learn to have some sense of pride . He doesn't want you to stay, leaving is better than forcing it. Don't be too needy and pathetic, so your heart doesn't get too battered before you eventually meet the Mr right.

Bunker1:
he love's you... try and know your boring characters, not all men will tell you. are you stubborn? is your decision final? you insist you must finish school before he gets married to you, is he okay with that? do you love just him, without loving his mom? first love can be always jealous... do some homework on him. for him to beg you, he's still wants you. Goodluck, don't move on so fast cos 99.9% of guys will do the same, some time in the the relationship

abbeyology88:
@@@SWEERYCHiCK are you still on this Guy's Issue on you Don dey move On wit your Life??

abbeyology88:
@@@SWEERYCHiCK are you still on this Guy's Issue on you Don dey move On wit your Life??

sweerychick:
for now I'm just neutral..

unilagfreshest:
Have read most comments my dear nd dey av Said it all, as a relationship expert, let me add a few points.its a bit dif bt worth it...
All you have to do is play d reverse physiology method.
How?
Here it is, from now on cut all form form communications between you both, (if possible change ur contacts), block him on all social media platform, avoid him like a plague, let his friend tell him u have moved on.
See how he struggles to get you back (that is if he still wants you o), then after a while when you are sure of his love nd commitment again. You can allow him back.
If all these method fails my sister mr right is on his way.

Siena:
[color=Blue]Please, tell me you're kidding.

There are no valid reasons on God's good earth, that excuse a man physically abusing a woman. This guy won't change, you may feel if you marry him, you'll be the one to tame the beast. I can assure you, it'll only get worse.

I would advice you to leave this guy, before he maims, or even kills you.[/color]

MissMercedes:
.

What?! A misunderstanding? Really?! Well, each time you have a misunderstanding, then brace yourself for a beating.
I dated someone like that, a while back... there were various excuses for each beating... "I don't know what came over me", "I wasn't in my right senses", "you know I'm hot tempered", "it won't happen again"... The greatest mistake I made was, believing he would change, cos he got worse.

No man should lay his hands on a woman (and vice versa) for any reason, whatsoever.

My dear, there are still some good men out there, if you're patient enough. This guy has no respect or value for you, so why stick around?

sweerychick:
Okay, this is my first appearance as a nairalander, I normally visit this site as a guest, but due to my pressing issue I had to do a quick registration to seek advice from mature minds only.
I've been in a relationship with this guy whom is my first love, for close to 4yrs now, I met him in university when I was a fresher, and he was in his finals then, he's tall (6ft, 3), chocolate skinned, and really good looking. Not that I was attracted to him because of his physical appearance, but he has a heart of gold, very caring, understanding and always there for me when I needed him. He was the one that deflowered me. Anyways soon after his Nysc in Oyo state 2013, by then I was in my 2nd year, he told me that he would love to marry me, that I am all that he desires, with all his sweet words, I accepted but on the condition that he allow me finish school, and do my NYSC, he agreed. Things were really moving on fine for us both until 2014 when he got a job with zenith bank, I noticed a lot had changed in him, he doesn't call me as he used to and he hardly pick up my own calls. Sometimes when I request for us to see he'll give me a thousand and one excuses for us not to see, sometimes his phones would be switched off for days, and when I finally get to reach him, he'll tell me that he's busy that I should call him later. When I call him later he will make our conversation so brief, not up to a min, sometimes 30 seconds. One day I was able to confront him at his place, and asked him why he's treating me this way he apologised to me and told me that I know that his work is very demanding, bank stress and all that coupled with his family ( he's the first child and his father is late) he's taking care of his mum and siblings. I accepted all that excuses, then later that day he told me that I should go back to school that he's expecting one of his cousin, I asked him which of his cousins he said that it's not my business, that I should just go, I insisted to stay because I'm in my boyfriends house and your cousin will understand, instead he got angry and for the first time he slapped and assaulted me, I cried and left the house, his friend saw me later that night and I explained everything to him, he said okay he'll talk to my boyfriend. My boyfriend in question didn't call me untill after 4days, he sent me a text message, telling me sorry, then afterwards he called me. I refused picking up his calls, then he sent his friend to mediate on his behalf. When I finally saw him (my boyfriend) he told me that he's so sorry about what he did, and promised for it not to happen again. I chose to forgive him under the condition that he will try and change, which he
hasn't, he still does the same thing to me till now, even worse. I'm tired of his nonsense, and I really want to move on, but one mind is telling me to stay. I really love this guy and I don't know how my world would be if I loose ... Please advice me on what to do.. I don't think I can love any other person the way I love him.

Matured advice please

sweerychick:
he only did it once outta anger, and I don't really blame him cos I was really stubborn that day and wanted to create a scene, because he was driving me nuts. besides he hasn't assaulted me again, except for his non charlatan and uncaring attitude towards me, which I'm sick and tired of. I just wish things could be the same with both of us as it used to be before he got his job

sweerychick:
I understand you, and I can never be in an abusive relationship, what I meant is that it was an isolated incident, cos he warned me not to push him to the wall that the day, I dared him even to the extent of holding his clothes for him not to leave my presence, I think that was what infuriated him more, and he lost his temper and assaulted me, by slapping me and pushing me aside. He started weeping afterwards, when I left the house crying. He was begging me to come back but I didn't. My anger was that he waited for 4days before putting a call across me.

Tori46:
I empathize with you. Please you have to be strong, it's obvious he has moved on. But why is it that guys will never tell you they are no longer interested?

schumastic:
sorry to say but he was with another lady for those four days, that's why he didn't call you..if you put two and two together am sure you will accept reality that he is seeing someone else.

once a guy hits his lady it is always hard to stop, if need arise again he will hit you again.it will take self control and God's grace for him not to hit you again.

is had to let go especially if the person is your first love, am saying this from experience. we have this burning feeling that you can't find someone like him or who you will love that much and the truth is this, is a 50-50 chance you might see someone better or not better than him.

what really matters my dear is your happiness. if your relationship is not healthy or not giving you that happiness you once felt, then my dear is time to walk out.

you have lost your worth in his life that's why you are receiving all this treatment because he is giving it out to someone else..give yourself that worth again better giving him the distance he seeks for. make him hunger for you and am sure if you are a nice person he will realize it and come back to his senses, until then move on.

funkyibodude:
I get the picture here, you are a stubborn person. . Anyway the guy is tired of your bullshit. You look like a very clingy person, and you don't know how to present issues to your guy, rather you try to create a scene, (a stewpid character most ladies are guilty of). I read where you said that you pushed your Bf to the wall, and what did you except to happen? Of course he'll beat the crap outta you. Don't play a victim and come here crying about it. Fact is most of us have better things to worry about, thank goodness your man said it, his job, finances and his family members.. My advice, get yourself busy with other things, I saw where you said you are awaiting NYSC, good for you, find a part time job or something to keep you busy and your mind occupied. If you guys are meant to be he'll come back for you. Well I pray it's not too late for him by then but again what is worth doing is worth doing. Remember love should be reciprocal, don't beg to be loved You only end up been tolerated and that is not love. Thank me later. Cheers. I hope my advice didn't come too late, cos I can see your post is more than two months old.

sweerychick:
thanks for the advice, but you shouldn't have sounded harsh and rude I'm not clingy neither am i demanding, I get all the help I need from my parents both financial and emotional support. My bae always looks out for me, he won my heart and that's why I'm so much in love with him. You are not a lady, so you won't understand. And as for the aspect of assaulting me, I said that I intentionally wanted to provoke him, cause he'd was driving me crazy.

funkyibodude:
sorry for sounding harsh, I just don't want you bothering up your emotions over nothing, you just need to get outta town, anywhere far from him. Mix with friends and family, relate more often with your peer groups, you'd see you'll be over him( not completely). But at least no more heart aches

sweerychick:
Okay, this is my first appearance as a nairalander, I normally visit this site as a guest, but due to my pressing issue I had to do a quick registration to seek advice from mature minds only.
I've been in a relationship with this guy whom is my first love, for close to 4yrs now, I met him in university when I was a fresher, and he was in his finals then, he's tall (6ft, 3), chocolate skinned, and really good looking. Not that I was attracted to him because of his physical appearance, but he has a heart of gold, very caring, understanding and always there for me when I needed him. He was the one that deflowered me. Anyways soon after his Nysc in Oyo state 2013, by then I was in my 2nd year, he told me that he would love to marry me, that I am all that he desires, with all his sweet words, I accepted but on the condition that he allow me finish school, and do my NYSC, he agreed. Things were really moving on fine for us both until 2014 when he got a job with zenith bank, I noticed a lot had changed in him, he doesn't call me as he used to and he hardly pick up my own calls. Sometimes when I request for us to see he'll give me a thousand and one excuses for us not to see, sometimes his phones would be switched off for days, and when I finally get to reach him, he'll tell me that he's busy that I should call him later. When I call him later he will make our conversation so brief, not up to a min, sometimes 30 seconds. One day I was able to confront him at his place, and asked him why he's treating me this way he apologised to me and told me that I know that his work is very demanding, bank stress and all that coupled with his family ( he's the first child and his father is late) he's taking care of his mum and siblings. I accepted all that excuses, then later that day he told me that I should go back to school that he's expecting one of his cousin, I asked him which of his cousins he said that it's not my business, that I should just go, I insisted to stay because I'm in my boyfriends house and your cousin will understand, instead he got angry and for the first time he slapped and assaulted me, I cried and left the house, his friend saw me later that night and I explained everything to him, he said okay he'll talk to my boyfriend. My boyfriend in question didn't call me untill after 4days, he sent me a text message, telling me sorry, then afterwards he called me. I refused picking up his calls, then he sent his friend to mediate on his behalf. When I finally saw him (my boyfriend) he told me that he's so sorry about what he did, and promised for it not to happen again. I chose to forgive him under the condition that he will try and change, which he hasn't, he still does the same thing to me till now, even worse. I'm tired of his nonsense, and I really want to move on, but one mind is telling me to stay. I really love this guy and I don't know how my world would be if I loose him... Please advice me on what to do.. I don't think I can love any other person the way I love him.

Matured advice please

nsiazu:
@sweerychick I know why you don't wanna leave him and I'm 100% sure.
1. Its because he deflowered you and you lost your virginity that's why you can't let go.
2. You have realized that he loved you before but after he has seen all your body and used you he no longer likes it again because he has had sex with you and wants something new now.
3. Don't force yourself on him again. Its a lesson to other girls reading this that 99% of guys that have a virgin girlfriend will do same if you allow them have sex with you.
4. No guy is worth your virginity except your husband because he has sworn and paid your bride price.
5. You have to move on @sweerychick. Leave him and move on. Don't force yourself on any guy that comes again and don't have sex again until you are married. You are now a virgin from today if you can make this decision.
6. Start to love your religion. if Christian, love Jesus Christ and if Muslim love your religion too. That's the way you will see he will leave your mind.
7. I hope I've helped someone. Remember @sweerychick Jesus Christ loves you more than anyone on earth.

sweerychick:
he only did it once outta anger, and I don't really blame him cos I was really stubborn that day and wanted to create a scene, because he was driving me nuts. besides he hasn't assaulted me again, except for his non charlatan and uncaring attitude towards me, which I'm sick and tired of. I just wish things could be the same with both of us as it used to be before he got his job