harsysky:


I know the head comes along with loving. I mean when does the heart comes into play? bf/gf or just Marriage?

For a genuine love to exist, the head must first be satisfied and establish good reasons to give your heart to that fellow. The heart and the head must constantly work together in the issue of love. That is why a person who truly loves you can punish you sometimes if that is what is needed to make you a better person------our parents for example.

On the contrary, a person who loves without the head (senses) can never do anything painful to the other person even when it is needed.

A lady who loves without the head will never leave her boyfriend who has not only turned to a violent cocaine addict but also into armed-robbery.

harsysky:


I needed you to answer that, so that you could refer it to the thread topic.

U giv ur all its marriage even d bible said a man leaves his home to take a wife and d two becomes one flesh so u giv ur all dat u got in u empty it in marriage bt nt during dating ok

harsysky:


Courtship or where (bible: for those who adhere strictly to it)? I wanna know where that one emanates from.

Please can you rephrase this question for a better understanding? Maybe you can edit it clearly and I will answer you.

histemple:


For a genuine love to exist, the head must first be satisfied and establish good reasons to give your heart to that fellow. The heart and the head must constantly work together in the issue of love. That is why a person who truly loves you can punish you sometimes if that is what is needed to make you a better person------our parents for example.

On the contrary, a person who loves without the head (senses) can never do anything painful to the other person even when it is needed.

A lady who loves without the head will never leave her boyfriend who has not only turned to a violent cocaine addict but also into armed-robbery.

I love where you are driving at. Can we trust human enough for genuine love to exist. I think love itself is a risk. That my partner and I have stayed for 30 years doesn't mean she can't wake uP one morning and do the undo-able(dnt mind the word).

Okay, my question now is when is it ideal to give your heart to someone you love? Putting everything in place "that the only thing constant is change."

halfricanadian:


U giv ur all its marriage even d bible said a man leaves his home to take a wife and d two becomes one flesh so u giv ur all dat u got in u empty it in marriage bt nt during dating ok

I believe that is the genuine love, right? What happens when you suddenly wake up one day and find out he has absconded and married another wife. With all the love you've showered and all that. Remember, you must have loved with your all and all...

harsysky:


I believe that is the genuine love, right? What happens when you suddenly wake up one day and find out he has absconded and married another wife. With all the love you've showered and all that. Remember, you must have loved with your all and all...

Well first God above ny one nd everything

I will b glad i did wat pleased God
It will hurt o damn very very mch

Bt i'll hold on to God u cant hold unto God nd nt b rewarded for good

I will nt interfere in his new marriage if i av kids dey wud b my priority

halfricanadian:


U giv ur all its marriage even d bible said a man leaves his home to take a wife and d two becomes one flesh so u giv ur all dat u got in u empty it in marriage bt nt during dating ok

Yes! You are very correct here because it is expected that you must have satisfied your heart that you are compatible and can live "together for ever" and so during marriage, you give your all.

However, even during marriage, your head is supposed to be constantly working to provide the necessary commitment that continually binds you together and grow the affection (love).

That same working head will tell you when to leave the union if need be-------and yes the bible envisages and gives ground for divorce-----although we don't pray for it.

histemple:


Please can you rephrase this question for a better understanding? Maybe you can edit it clearly and I will answer you.

"Remember that "lack of love" is a
ground for which you can divorce your
partner?"

The above is your statement...

My question is that where does that clause comes from: in Courtship or from the bible... And if it's not from the bible, what of those who adhere strictly to the bible. Who know fully well that "divorce is not an option."

histemple:


Yes! You are very correct here because it is expected that you must have satisfied your heart that you are compatible and can live "together for ever" and so during marriage, you give your all.

However, even during marriage, your head is supposed to be constantly working to provide the necessary commitment that continually binds you together and grow the affection (love).

That same working head will tell you when to leave the union if need be-------and yes the bible envisages and gives ground for divorce-----although we don't pray for it.

D bible is interpreted my people differently

Bible really didnt approve of divorce jesus told d multitude dat its cos of men heart moses had to write d law dat wen a man or woman cheat u can divorce dem its more like moses law nt really d bible if u read new testament well

halfricanadian:


Well first God above ny one nd everything

I will b glad i did wat pleased God
It will hurt o damn very very mch

Bt i'll hold on to God u cant hold unto God nd nt b rewarded for good

I will nt interfere in his new marriage if i av kids dey wud b my priority

It won't be your portion, anyway. You're gonna marry who will love and cherish you.

harsysky:


It won't be your portion, anyway. You're gonna marry who will love and cherish you.

Amen and u too tank u

harsysky:


I love where you are driving at. Can we trust human enough for genuine love to exist. I think love itself is a risk. That my partner and I have stayed for 30 years doesn't mean she can't wake uP one morning and do the undo-able(dnt mind the word).

Okay, my question now is when is it ideal to give your heart to someone you love? Putting everything in place "that the only thing constant is change."

I love your understanding of the changing nature of humans which is why you should "never" give your heart without your head-----and that is to answer your question succinctly.

What we refer to as LOVE in the first place, is nothing but the affection that is as a result of the endearing value you have for that fellow.

This affection can either appreciate or depreciate with time----sometimes it can appreciate until observers begin to wonder if you have been charmed; other times, it could depreciate gradually to disaffection.

When this disaffection happens then separation/divorce is inevitable and yes, it can happen even after several years of marriage.

halfricanadian:


D bible is interpreted my people differently

Bible really didnt approve of divorce jesus told d multitude dat its cos of men heart moses had to write d law dat wen a man or woman cheat u can divorce dem its more like moses law nt really d bible if u read new testament well

No. Matthew 5:32. Jesus clearly stated that marital unfaithfulness is the only permissible ground for divorce.

It was in Matthew 19:8 that Jesus reminded them that the laws Moses gave them was because of the hardness of their hearts, and he was responding to many questions on the old orders of Moses where he even told them that if at the first night you discovered that your bride is not a virgin, you can divorce her

histemple:


No. Matthew 5:32. Jesus clearly stated that marital unfaithfulness is the only permissible ground for divorce.

Based on moses law

halfricanadian:


Based on moses law

Read Matthew 19:7-9 and you will see where Jesus stated it expressly in verse 9

histemple:


Read Matthew 19:7-9 and you will see where Jesus stated it expressly in verse 9

Hmmm ok av heard u tho either ways its cool

histemple:


No. Matthew 5:32. Jesus clearly stated that marital unfaithfulness is the only permissible ground for divorce.

It was in Matthew 19:8 that Jesus reminded them that the laws Moses gave them was because of the hardness of their hearts, and he was responding to many questions on the old orders of Moses where he even told them that if at the first night you discovered that your bride is not a virgin, you can divorce her

I hate to say it, but you're wrong. The only ground for divorce is unfaithfulness and even after that, you don't have the right to marry otherwise you, yourself have committed adultery.


Matthew 5 vs 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife forces her to be guilty of adultery. The only reason for a man to divorce his wife is if she has sexual relations with another man. And anyone who marries that divorced woman is guilty of adultery.

harsysky:


"Remember that "lack of love" is a
ground for which you can divorce your
partner?"

The above is your statement...

My question is that where does that clause comes from: in Courtship or from the bible... And if it's not from the bible, what of those who adhere strictly to the bible. Who know fully well that "divorce is not an option."

To say that divorce is not an option is not biblical. In Matthew 19:7-9 Jesus addressed this issue where He told them that no man should divorce his wife EXCEPT on the premise of marital unfaithfulness (adultery).

To answer your question on lack of love as a ground for divorce, I was addressing the issue legally according to generally accepted laws of repugnance to "natural justice"---------it is also in our laws (LFN). Fortunately or otherwise for Christians, they are not allowed to divorce on this premise but to commit it to God in prayer and expect a positive result.

harsysky:


I hate to say it, but you're wrong. The only ground for divorce is unfaithfulness and even after that, you don't have the right to marry otherwise you, yourself have committed adultery.


Matthew 5 vs 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife forces her to be guilty of adultery. The only reason for a man to divorce his wife is if she has sexual relations with another man. And anyone who marries that divorced woman is guilty of adultery.

You can fault my argument and it's very much welcomed but I will need a legal or biblical evidence as it were.

You will need to read Matthew 19:7-9 and explain the word "EXCEPT" in that context.

In plain English, if I say you shouldn't kill EXCEPT the person stole------what it means is----stealing is the only ground for which killing is PERMITTED

histemple:


You can fault my argument and it's very much welcomed but I will need a legal or biblical evidence as it were.

You will need to read Matthew 19:7-9 and explain the word "EXCEPT" in that context.

In plain English, if I say you shouldn't kill unless the person stole------what it means is----stealing is the only ground for which killing is PERMITTED

Matthew 19 -
7 The Pharisees asked, “Why then did Moses give a command for a man to divorce his wife by giving her divorce papers?”

8 Jesus answered, “Moses allowed you to divorce your wives because you refused to accept God’s teaching, but divorce was not allowed in the beginning.

9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman is guilty of adultery.

harsysky:



Matthew 19 -
7 The Pharisees asked, “Why then did Moses give a command for a man to divorce his wife by giving her divorce papers?”

8 Jesus answered, “Moses allowed you to divorce your wives because you refused to accept God’s teaching, but divorce was not allowed in the beginning.

9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman is guilty of adultery.

Okay, I have seen where your confusion is coming from and that is what is causing so much problems for christianity. Sometimes, we read the part we like or that supports our argument and deliberately avoid reading it completely-----even when it is only a verse----just as you have done here.

Anyways, I want to believe it was an oversight. So, I want you to get a complete bible (maybe KJV) and read verse 9 completely.

In NIV it says and I quote "I tell you, anyone who divorces his wife, EXCEPT for martial unfaithfulness and marries another woman, commits adultery"

You can also read KJV below.

Matthew 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

Shared via Bible KJV http://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.gyc.ace.kjv

histemple:


Okay, I have seen where your confusion is coming from. I want you to get a complete bible (maybe KJV) and read verse 9 completely.

It says and I quote "I tell you, anyone who divorces his wife, EXCEPT for martial unfaithfulness and marries another woman, commits adultery".

I advise you to read again and fully this time.

Matthew 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

Shared via Bible KJV http://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.gyc.ace.kjv

"And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery."

"Except it be for fornication" is called appositives. Without it the sentence could still flow. That is why it has a comma. It has nothing to do with the "and shall marry , committeth adultery.

To make it even clearer: whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

It doesn't give both parties right to marry after the divorce.

harsysky:





"And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery."

"Except it be for fornication" is called appositives. Without it the sentence could still flow. That is why it has a comma. It has nothing to do with the "and shall marry , committeth adultery.

To make it even clearer: whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

It doesn't give both parties right to marry after the divorce.

I am giving up on you in complete shock. Stay blessed.

Late to the thread, but if u only love with ur head tjen it's a recipe for trouble.

Yoi can make all kind of mental gymmastics to "love" someone. But it is only true love if u feel it with ir heart.

When a guy cheats, he makes mental gymnastics to justify that unfaithfulness - and so he does not feel guilty. Like she nag too much, she won't find out, etc. etc.

If he loves with his heart too, then the feeling will prevent him from cheating. He will feel guilt, he will be sad, he will not get his d to attention because his heart and mind are so invested in his partner. He will love his partner as he love himself and not want to hurt the heart and mind of the shared relationship.

No amount of mental gymmastics can change the heart feeling of powerful true love.

This why I say that anyone who cheats is not truly loving their partner. They are detached from their partner's heart feeling and emotionally detached from the relationship. Emotion and heart feeling matters.

foolinlove:
Late to the thread, but if u only love with ur head tjen it's a recipe for trouble.


Yoi can make all kind of mental gymmastics to "love" someone. But it is only true love if u feel it with ir heart.


When a guy cheats, he makes mental gymnastics to justify that unfaithfulness - and so he does not feel guilty. Like she nag too much, she won't find out, etc. etc.

If he loves with his heart too, then the feeling will prevent him from cheating. He will feel guilt, he will be sad, he will not get his d to attention because his heart and mind are so invested in his partner. He will love his partner as he love himself and not want to hurt the heart and mind of the shared relationship.

No amount of mental gymmastics can change the heart feeling of powerful true love.

This why I say that anyone who cheats is not truly loving their partner. They are detached from their partner's heart feeling and emotionally detached from the relationship. Emotion and heart feeling matters.

I think you get the point. Those who claim they are loving with the head were not actually loving. It's just mental manipulation, and any other person who sweeps them off their feet, they are bound to leave their Partner.

True, powerful love can change. Remember, change is constant. It could take years, but it could change. I'm implying that to everybody o. Some who actually were genuine love birds got to a point they now hate themselves.

harsysky:


Sisi, in every beginning of relationship, you will very much observe the both parties being so much in love (weda lust or not). You'll observe both parties give eachother everything ( except ones who have ulterior motives).

My reasoning now lies in the long run when one of the two must have experienced one thing or the other ( influence, lust for another person etc) while the other folk is still caught up in the euphoria of love. He or she may come up with "I don't think I'm gonna go on with you" when you are not evening expecting it. Remember, they started out like every other love birds that are still loving themselves till now.

Nt in every relatnship...some people r jst so cunning dat dey knw exactly wat dey r after ryt frm d start of d relationship...men use their heads better...women r jst emotional beings dat loves with their whole heart..even if dey wana use their head,they end up using their heart...

harsysky:


I think you get the point. Those who claim they are loving with the head were not actually loving. It's just mental manipulation, and any other person who sweeps them off their feet, they are bound to leave their Partner.

True, powerful love can change. Remember, change is constant. It could take years, but it could change. I'm implying that to everybody o. Some who actually were genuine love birds got to a point they now hate themselves.

Yes, relationships go thru down points. And you can hate and love at the same time. The ppint is, that when you love your love overrides the hate and u get thru it. True love never ends.

Those relationships that end, even after soany years, were not true love. Because those people weren't invested in their heart enough to try to make it thru the rough times together.

histemple:


I am giving up on you in complete shock. Stay blessed.

Given up on me? In complete shock? What makes you even think KJV puts it well for your understanding than the first bible I quoted from?

Don't lay justice to what you know nothing about. If we go by your translation, it is only the man who can divorce his wife for infidelity cos if he , himself, commits adultery and his wife in turn follows suit, the man will still file for divorce on the bases that men are polygamous in nature while women are not.

foolinlove:


Yes, relationships go thru down points. And you can hate and love at the same time. The ppint is, that when you love your love overrides the hate and u get thru it. True love never ends.

Those relationships that end, even after soany years, were not true love. Because those people weren't invested in their heart enough to try to make it thru the rough times together.

True love is a gift from God. True love doesn't exist just exist in this world of ours. There is a phase called "Apostasy" for those who genuinely loved God. I think that same thing happens in love too. King Asa loved God for 42 years, genuine love and during his dying years he let go.

What am I trying to say. Love is a "lay in all in one basket". Even if you feel it is a genuine love and your partner cheats on you, you should equally forgive he/she when they say they've learnt their lessons and repented.

yemsai:

Nt in every relatnship...some people r jst so cunning dat dey knw exactly wat dey r after ryt frm d start of d relationship...men use their heads better...women r jst emotional beings dat loves with their whole heart..even if dey wana use their head,they end up using their heart...

I mean those who don't have any ulterior motives. Let me put it this way: those who are naïve. Do you think there is a particular stage called naivety in relationship where both parties love eachoda without knowing anything about love?

Take me by the hand. Imagine I am a baby or novice. Walk me through on this "loving with the head" thingy. I want to know it from you.

harsysky:


True love is a gift from God. True love doesn't exist just exist in this world of ours. There is a phase called "Apostasy" for those who genuinely loved God. I think that same thing happens in love too. King Asa loved God for 42 years, genuine love and during his dying years he let go.

What am I trying to say. Love is a "lay in all in one basket". Even if you feel it is a genuine love and your partner cheats on you, you should equally forgive he/she when they say they've learnt their lessons and repented.

My point is that even if u truly love them, cheating is a sign that they don't truly love you. You should free them to find that person who they can control themselves for.

I forgive, but it doesn't mean u wasn't betrayed. There will always be suspicion and then everyone is miserable. Cheating is the ultimate betrayal. And it is a signal that they don't truly love you, if they did then they wouldn't make the choice to hurt you so roughly.

Peopul and nonsensikal analojies. How do Yu Differenshiate between head and heart?