thorpido:
Epidural injection will help you reduce the pian.
Having a tear will depend on the size of the baby.A good doctor or midwife will give you a cut which can be stitched better than let you have a tear.Most first-timers have tears/cuts but not every first-timer has a tear.

I'm not sure what I had. All I remember was seeing my hoohah being sewn.

And ladies, here's a surprise waiting for you: if the epidural is too strong and the OB feels that you cannot labour properly because of it, he will instruct the anaestologist to reduce the epidural and the nurses will tell you "honey you better push quickly before the painkillers wear off"

There's nothing like that feeling when you took an epidural and you relaxed, only for you to enter the final stretch screaming in anguish. I made sure I pushed sharparly. Infact I be baddo, i refused epidural till 7cm!

isokey:
*Deep sigh*... Please, i would appreciate anyone shedding more light on how to avoid tears and reduce pain in vaginal birth delivery for a first timer.

Exercise. You need to be fit (trust me) because labour is like a marathon. Don't sit your butt down during pregnancy, it will hurt more. I didn't (swam at 7 months walked till I got to the hospital) and it took me till 7cm dilation and the fact that my cheering team left me to the mercy of the new nurse (who wanted me prepped in case I needed surgery so she pushed mentally for an epidural). I don't think I tore a lot, becausd i was driving around the next week and I wasn't taking my sitz bath serious. That place is all muscles that need to be stretched. It's either you have sex regularly or give yourself a massage with fingers down there. In Nigeria, some matrons will call your husband and tell him to "hammer you well/drill you" a week to your due date till you deliver. An orgasm expands and contracts those muscles, making them loose enough to push better.

Hilarous story: someone told me when she went into labour, her husband was given a shaving stick to remove all her hair "down there". When he objected (because he said his Johnny will go to attention), the matron told him that's why husband suppose shave am. Make u knack am well so she go open push quick"

Ishilove:

Are epidurals done in Nigeria?

Yea.Commonly.
It has to be well done however and the patient has to cooperate.It could be risky.

Onegai:


I'm not sure what I had. All I remember was seeing my hoohah being sewn.

And ladies, here's a surprise waiting for you: if the epidural is too strong and the OB feels that you cannot labour properly because of it, he will instruct the anaestologist to reduce the epidural and the nurses will tell you "honey you better push quickly before the painkillers wear off"

There's nothing like that feeling when you took an epidural and you relaxed, only for you to enter the final stretch screaming in anguish. I made sure I pushed sharparly. Infact I be baddo, i refused epidural till 7cm!

You must have had an epidural.I'm not sure anyone can be relaxed when the pains and contractions come surging.

thorpido:
You must have had an epidural.I'm not sure anyone can be relaxed when the pains and contractions come surging.

Not until almost the end. I refused it (they insisted on giving me a diluted IV painkiller which I took onxe) and I did breathing exercises and watched the monitor so I knew when contractions were coming. It still wasn't pretty but yeah, in my hospital they are medication-trigger-happy. They will pile meds on you and disappear when you start having issues with taking them. My lactation consultant said she had seen too many mums with newborn babies from that hospital who were a bit woozy from what they had gone through from birth.

Stylesco, even if you did CS, you realise most women lose their libidos immediately after birth right? As in, it's a hormonal thing. You will feel raped everytime you have sex for 2 or 3 months until you mentally begin to accept your body back (it will feel like he's invading you and your child). And then sex will be at a minimum because after your child wakes up 4 times a night (which will happen till the age of 1 or more years old), you and your hubby will be too exhausted to be going at it like Spring Chickens.

You knew all this, right...

Onegai:


Not until almost the end. I refused it (they insisted on giving me a diluted IV painkiller which I took onxe) and I did breathing exercises and watched the monitor so I knew when contractions were coming. It still wasn't pretty but yeah, in my hospital they are medication-trigger-happy. They will pile meds on you and disappear when you start having issues with taking them. My lactation consultant said she had seen too many mums with newborn babies from that hospital who were a bit woozy from what they had gone through from birth.

You must have tried to brave it through.Some mums give birth without epidural,just some painkillers.

Onegai:
Stylesco, even if you did CS, you realise most women lose their libidos immediately after birth right? As in, it's a hormonal thing. You will feel raped everytime you have sex for 2 or 3 months until you mentally begin to accept your body back (it will feel like he's invading you and your child). And then sex will be at a minimum because after your child wakes up 4 times a night (which will happen till the age of 1 or more years old), you and your hubby will be too exhausted to be going at it like Spring Chickens.

You knew all this, right...

She hasn't gotten to that bridge yet so I don't think she knows.
It could be a whole year or more of not being available or just going through the motions because of your hormonal changes.

Onegai:
Stylesco, even if you did CS, you realise most women lose their libidos immediately after birth right? As in, it's a hormonal thing. You will feel raped everytime you have sex for 2 or 3 months until you mentally begin to accept your body back (it will feel like he's invading you and your child). And then sex will be at a minimum because after your child wakes up 4 times a night (which will happen till the age of 1 or more years old), you and your hubby will be too exhausted to be going at it like Spring Chickens.

You knew all this, right...

@bolded, that bad Or are you just exaggerating for effect.
Can another lady/mother corroborate this rape thing pls.

I don't think it's the same for everyone.
Mine is only 4months old and I feel like my old self. Have felt so for a while now. I had to rest and refrain from any form of sexual penetration for the recommended 6weeks post partum. But that was it.

Let's not scare her now.

Sometimes fear and expecting unpleasant experiences can actually make such happen.

Onegai:
Stylesco, even if you did CS, you realise most women lose their libidos immediately after birth right? As in, it's a hormonal thing. You will feel raped everytime you have sex for 2 or 3 months until you mentally begin to accept your body back (it will feel like he's invading you and your child). And then sex will be at a minimum because after your child wakes up 4 times a night (which will happen till the age of 1 or more years old), you and your hubby will be too exhausted to be going at it like Spring Chickens.

You knew all this, right...

cococandy:
I don't think it's the same for everyone.
Mine is only 4months old and I feel like my old self. Have felt so for a while now. I had to rest and refrain from any form of sexual penetration for the recommended 6weeks post partum. But that was it.

Let's not scare her now.

Sometimes fear and expecting unpleasant experiences can actually make such happen.

You're right,it's not the same for everyone.
Op,don't be scared,it's not all bad experiences.There will definitely be changes(or periods of discomforts) but things get back in shape.

*Same goes for every single or expectant mums - childbirth is not a harrowing experience.

cococandy:
I don't think it's the same for everyone.
Mine is only 4months old and I feel like my old self. Have felt so for a while now. I had to rest and refrain from any form of sexual penetration for the recommended 6weeks post partum. But that was it.

Let's not scare her now.

Sometimes fear and expecting unpleasant experiences can actually make such happen.

Anecdotally, I think for most women it's back to normal at 4 months after. Are we scaring her? I wish I had known these things, so I would have been more prepared as to what happened rather than "surprise!".

OP, it's not all bad and it's not all pushing daisies. It's actually the best time to bond with your husband, if he plays his cards right and you do your part, your marriage will be strengthened and so many girls do 3 hours of pushing, produce a baby and are back to business as usual 1 month after. Every woman is different.

Rilokiley, it's Mother Nature's way of protecting the species (after doing her best to kill it ). Nature wants to make sure the newborn gets the best chance at survival and nurture by Exclusive Breastfeeding, Baby's need for constant attention (the human being is the most helpless of all animals at birth, it could die easily compared to all other animals) and Hormonal changes which affect her libido. This makes the mother not want to get pregnant anytime soon so she pushes the father away because she's not in the mood for sex. And the newborn gets breastmilk and attention required during the crucial stages. So most women are fine by 4 months postpartum but depending on things like how traumatic labour was, it could take longer for some mums. So yeah, sex will be going through the motions for that time (your doctor will recommend KY jelly and encourage you to be patient with madam). The best way to overcome this is for the husband to help out with the baby and domestic chores. I'm serious. A nurse asked mothers in Healthcare section and almost all of them replied that the more the husband helped out, the more sex happened. Your wife will feel guilty and want to reward you for your loving care. Mentally what happens is that she acknowledges you're part of the parental bond when you do so and welcomes you back in (it will take a while before she becomes enthusiastic but at least you will be shining her Congo till then).

http://www.whattoexpect.com/family/6-common-sex-after-pregnancy-problems-and-solutions

http://www.babycenter.com/0_lets-talk-about-sex-after-the-baby_11802.bc

I kind of feel they should make fathers attend birthing classes or antenatal classes once in a while. Someone should organise these Mommy-Daddy-and-Me classes.

did someone say tatoo a name on a peni.s
I am a lady and that just gave me goosebumps and the hair on my neck stand out
I cant just imagine Mr Rose letting anyone put a needle in his in the name of love
The screams will be heard in outer space
ere kere!

tearoses:
did someone say tatoo a name on a peni.s
I am a lady and that just gave me goosebumps and the hair on my neck stand out
I cant just imagine Mr Tearose letting anyone put a needle in his in the name of love
The screams will be heard in outer space
ere kere!

If he loves you, he will. And your fullname o, not initials or nicknamed. Anything less, divorce him!

Onegai:


If he loves you, he will. And your fullname o, not initials or nicknamed. Anything less, divorce him!

My sister I'd rather he put a 6 figure sum of £££ in my account or we go on a 5 star holiday somewhere in the Caribbean.
na wetin I wan use name do?

@onegai, informative and useful, thanks. I still feel the "rape" word was a bit too much but I understand your point..

RiloKiley:
@onegai, informative and useful, thanks. I still feel the "rape" word was a bit too much but I understand your point..

Ashuuaaallyyyyy...That rape part was not that much of an exaggeration. because it feels like you're being forced against your will (and yes, some women do shed tears in hiding). Not like screaming out in anger but more like a mental chanting of "i don't want to be here, I don't want to be here, please stop, I don't want to be here" or sometimes an awkward feeling after (like wanting to bathe him off your body). Everybody is different.

But let's not scare you. it's gonna be great! And things will improve so much more. But it depends on how you handle that trying time.

tearoses:


My sister I'd rather he put a 6 figure sum of £££ in my account or we go on a 5 star holiday somewhere in the Caribbean.
na wetin I wan use name do?

Money?! Holidays?! Abegi! Anybody can do that! It takes True Love for a Pen.ile tattoo!! At least you he will rarely cheat because side chics will read it and go "who is tearoses"

I think that a lot also depends on the man & how sensitive and hands on he is
If a woman is tired physically and emotionally then she cannot be on top form

Some men too don't want to "hurt" their wives so the wife has to be to the one to say I'm fine and im ready.

I think when a man is with you during labour and was with you through a difficult pregnancy, he will be more understanding and gentle than if he had no input during both pregnancy and labour and he was only just given the good news.

Each person, body and relationship is different. Some people spring back quickly and some people dont.

Onegai:


Money?! Holidays?! Abegi! Anybody can do that! It takes True Love for a Pen.ile tattoo!! At least you he will rarely cheat because side chics will read it and go "who is tearoses"

My bank account needs more love than me

Besides if he cheats with condommm or in a dark room how will the chicks see the tatoo sef?
Waste of time

isokey:
*Deep sigh*... Please, i would appreciate anyone shedding more light on how to avoid tears and reduce pain in vaginal birth delivery for a first timer.

You poor thing, it's normal to be afraid but this is what our bodies are made for, nature has prepared us for it.

1) Try to relax, the bubba is your belly already and has got to come out one way or another. So brace yourself, you haven't got a choice at this stage. Best thing is to ensure that your are in the best frame of mind to get your little one out as safely as possible.

2) Try as much as possible to sleep on your left side, this increases blood flow to the baby..I was advised this by the midwife however, if the baby starts to misbehaves and fight kungfu like mine did whenever I tried this, find a sleeping position that makes you and the baby comfy. Also get a pregnancy pillow to support your belly when lying down. Why am I saying this? You need to make sure your are as well rested as possible because labour is quite tiring so you need to shore up your strength for the big day.

3) Get an exercise ball...the sort they use in the gym and bounce on it sitting. This should encourage the baby to descend and engage in the cervix. Once the head is engaged, it should make for a shorter labour. Do this regularly and can even take the ball with to the hospital if they do not provide one.

4) Someone has mentioned on here about walking which I found immensely helpful before and during labour. But take plenty of breaks.

5) From about 35 weeks, try to get your hands on some Arnica, it is homeopathic medicine and a friend recommended it to me. It is supposed to reduce bruising and encourage faster healing of the body naturally. I used it (not into homeopathy myself but i wasn't taking any chances) and really, I was up and doing everything afterwards. I had an episiotomy but everything healed down there very quickly. I think it helped.

6) Pain relief options- Epidural. But that means you cannot feel the contractions and have to rely on the monitor to tell you when you are having one so you can push.

Pethidine- Given in the form of injection, greatly reduces the pain but I was told makes the baby sleepy. So if it has been a complicated pregnancy, probably not advisable. My baby's heart beat kept falling so it was definitely not an option for me.

Gas and Air - Made of nitrous exide and oxygen i.e laughing gas. will take the edge off the pain but you will still feel it. I know some people who loved it, didn't work for me though.

Most important thing I believe is "Mind over matter". I was in so much pain and begged to be given epidural, I couldn't sit still and was shouting "somebody help me" . I was actually in active labour when they brought the anaesthesiologist to give me the epidural. Girl, through back-to-back contractions, I stayed still oooo. The fear of paralysis was stronger than the labour pains. Ant they had to insert it three different times as they kept hitting bone in spine so the epidural wasn't flowing.

To give an idea of how intense the pain was, I had my baby 20 mins after the epidural was put in, it hadn't even kicked in because when I was cut, I felt it and had to have a local anaesthetic before they could cut. But I stayed still.

Epidural kicked in after my baby had come out and was just watching the midwife stitching me up, It felt like I had a tailor sewing a dress between my legs because I could see all her movements, knew she was working on me but felt nothing.

Sorry about the long story, you can do this and I know you will be back telling us how you killed it and didn't even make a sound.

Jamean:


My dear you talk am finish. Conditional love. Just for his own selfish interest. How is he sure he was even satisfying her sexually before, or the wife was just coping.

This same man will not let her breath when he sees the scars and her stomach doesn't go back to normal after the c-section. Or is it not his name the children will bear. Smh!

stay there dey console your self..no go tighten your vigina.l so that your man go dey enjoy you wella wella....or better still advise him to have a sweet sixteen outside whose vjay is so hmmmm tite meehn

some people here a making it sound criminal for a man to prefer a sweet tite vjay in his wife....abi na the man go helep you titen am...

una go born pikin, pikin go use hm head widen vjay when them dey come, as if that one no do them, them go dey drag boobsy with chairman..haba na..is it a crime to want it sweet n tite ni?

@bold is key. Very very important.

For the men who are reading. It is highly important. Don't come here and complain your wife is this and that after labor and delivery. You gotta do your part. And even then still be patient.

Onegai:


Anecdotally, I think for most women it's back to normal at 4 months after. Are we scaring her? I wish I had known these things, so I would have been more prepared as to what happened rather than "surprise!".

OP, it's not all bad and it's not all pushing daisies. It's actually the best time to bond with your husband, if he plays his cards right and you do your part, your marriage will be strengthened and so many girls do 3 hours of pushing, produce a baby and are back to business as usual 1 month after. Every woman is different.

Rilokiley, it's Mother Nature's way of protecting the species (after doing her best to kill it ). Nature wants to make sure the newborn gets the best chance at survival and nurture by Exclusive Breastfeeding, Baby's need for constant attention (the human being is the most helpless of all animals at birth, it could die easily compared to all other animals) and Hormonal changes which affect her libido. This makes the mother not want to get pregnant anytime soon so she pushes the father away because she's not in the mood for sex. And the newborn gets breastmilk and attention required during the crucial stages. So most women are fine by 4 months postpartum but depending on things like how traumatic labour was, it could take longer for some mums. So yeah, sex will be going through the motions for that time (your doctor will recommend KY jelly and encourage you to be patient with madam). The best way to overcome this is for the husband to help out with the baby and domestic chores. I'm serious . A nurse asked mothers in Healthcare section and almost all of them replied that the more the husband helped out, the more sex happened. Your wife will feel guilty and want to reward you for your loving care. Mentally what happens is that she acknowledges you're part of the parental bond when you do so and welcomes you back in (it will take a while before she becomes enthusiastic but at least you will be shining her Congo till then).

http://www.whattoexpect.com/family/6-common-sex-after-pregnancy-problems-and-solutions

http://www.babycenter.com/0_lets-talk-about-sex-after-the-baby_11802.bc

I kind of feel they should make fathers attend birthing classes or antenatal classes once in a while. Someone should organise these Mommy-Daddy-and-Me classes.

Mskrisx:



U married??

No

fem29:


Na you sabi. I'm not interested in the size of your appendage .

Ahh good, cos I was wondering what your business is with penile enlargement. Thought you were interested in the shlong, apologies then...

Mindfulness:



Even here in Europe there are clinics that are notorious for having women go through CS because they a) get more money if they perform CS and b) can schedule the birth so that they can leave the clinic earlier and enjoy their free time. And they feed from gullible women or women who have self-esteem issues and have no idea that se.x after child birth can be as fulfilling as before.

Serious clinics discourage women from CS if CS is not necessary.

No waaaaay...

You mean there are gullible European women with self-esteem issues too?
No freaking waaaaay!!

And here I thought it was purely an African/Nigerian woman phenomenon, because European women should have supposedly evolved past that. Don't you think?

Mindfulness:


Very well said but you know what, I don't pity most of them a bit. Read the contributions of some of the female posters on this thread and you will know why. They are worried about lose vagi.nas instead of caring about their babies and their own health. Weak creatures with low self-esteem. They will even go against themselves when it comes to the most natural thing in the world, which is child delivery through what the vagin.a was made for.

What a fvckery, pun intended.

I swear, my family would disown me for spewing the rubbish some people have no shame writing here.

Let it all out baby, hold nothing back


Why does the concept of a woman wanting to please her husband by opting for elective CS seem so foreign, and elicits such venom from the lot of you? - This here is the only question y'all should be dedicating your time trying to figure out.

Mindfulness:
Cons of C-section for the mother

A woman who has had a C-section typically stays in the hospital longer, two to four days on average, compared with a woman who has a vaginal delivery. Having a C-section also increases a woman's risk for more physical complaints following delivery, such as pain at the site of the incision and longer-lasting soreness.

Because a woman is undergoing surgery, a C-section involves an increased risk of blood loss and a greater risk of infection, Bryant said. The bowel or bladder can be injured during the operation or a blood clot may form, she said.

A review study found that women who have had a C-section are less likely to begin early breastfeeding than women who had a vaginal birth.

The recovery period after delivering is also longer because a woman may have more pain and discomfort in her abdomen as the skin and nerves surrounding her surgical scar need time to heal, often at least two months.

Women are three times more likely to die during Caesarean delivery than a vaginal birth, due mostly to blood clots, infections and complications from anesthesia, according to a French study.

Once a woman has had her first C-section, she is more likely to have a C-section in her future deliveries, Bryant said. She may also be at greater risk of future pregnancy complications, such as uterine rupture, which is when the C-section scar in her uterus ruptures, and placenta abnormalities. The risk for placenta problems continues to increase with every C-section a woman has.


Pros and cons of C-section for the baby

Babies born by Caesarean section may be more likely to have breathing problems at birth and even during childhood, such as asthma. They may also be at greater risk for stillbirth.

During a C-section, there is a small risk that a baby can get nicked during the surgery, Bryant said. Some studies have also suggested a link between babies delivered by C-section and a greater risk of becoming obese as children and even as adults for reasons that remain unclear. One possibility is that women who are obese or have pregnancy-related diabetes may be more likely to have a C-section.

http://www.livescience.com/45681-vaginal-birth-vs-c-section.html



If any man has a problem with the physical changes that come along with child birth, they have the following options:

- don't have kids
- adopt kids
- go for pe.nis enlargement
- grow up


I would weep for the men of this generation if I cared.

Three for Three.
I'm stuck on you today particularly regarding your apparent disgrunt with the whole thread, which I find very hilarious.


These cons of Cesarean Sections as systemically outlined by you, Are they put ONLY into consideration when it is the woman's husband that insists on it?
Or are these the exact same risks women who undergo CS due to medical reasons still get to face?

crackhaus:

Three for Three.
I'm stuck on you today particularly regarding your apparent disgrunt with the whole thread, which I find very hilarious.


These cons of Cesarean Sections as systemically outlined by you, Are they put ONLY into consideration when it is the woman's husband that insists on it?
Or are these the exact same risks women who undergo CS due to medical reasons still get to face?

I can't believe you would even ask such a question.

Crackhaus, I will discuss this topic with you when you get married and after your children are born.

crackhaus:



Let it all out baby, hold nothing back


Why does the concept of a woman wanting to please her husband by opting for elective CS seem so foreign, and elicits such venom from the lot of you? - This here is the only question y'all should be dedicating your time trying to figure out.

A baby is supposed to be pushed through the va.gina into this world. This is the most natural process in this world. CS should only be performed if va.ginal birth is not possible or too dangerous. This is it. What you make out of this thread is all in your head.

crackhaus:

No waaaaay...

You mean there are gullible European women with self-esteem issues too?
No freaking waaaaay!!

And here I thought it was purely an African/Nigerian woman phenomenon, because European women should have supposedly evolved past that. Don't you think?

Mindfulness:


I can't believe you would even ask such a question.

Crackhaus, I will discuss this topic with you when you get married and after your children are born.

See cop out like a typical Nigerian, I'm not surprised.
How do you know I don't have a child?

Answer the question jor and stop dodging, I want to know...honestly.

What is the difference between the risks/cons associated with CS when it's needed because of medical reasons and when a woman's husband insists on it for personal reasons?

We who don't know anything about Cesarean Sections are waiting.