Help! His Wife Is Tormenting Him. - Family - Nairaland
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| Help! His Wife Is Tormenting Him. by glossy6(f): 7:55pm On Aug 03, 2016 |
About a month ago a colleague bared his mind to me on the happenings in his home and how hurt he feels. He is married to a beautiful lady whom he married when she was quite young and they birthed 6 children (boys & girls). Both of them work with a Federal parastatal, though different offices. Previously, she was based in the East while the husband has been in Lagos but later brought his family together. He claimed that the wife refuses to assist him in running the home but insisted that their kids must attend high fees paying schools which the man is finding difficult to cope with as it costs him about 700k every term. His pleas for assistance always meets a brick wall as the wife told him she is saving for a jeep. His niece had to stay off school for a term for him to gather money for her fees as she is the one looking after his kids. The wife, he said is just after her comfort and nothing more! She must drive to work, no matter the cost petrol. I saw him with a polybag on Friday and jokingly asked if he went shopping and he was close to tears telling me how another colleague of ours bought a dress for his wife and his wife was so appreciative that he decided to buy for his wife, only for the wife to berate him saying he bought her cheap dresses (he bought 2 gowns). She demanded for the dresses to be changed to bigger sizes, which he did only for her to choose one and reject the other, hence he brought it back to the seller. He told me a lot of unpalatable things he had been going through and I asked him to summon a family meeting and he said he had had several meetings in the past and they yielded no positive results and he has to maintain his cool in order not to be accused of domestic violence. I advised him to return the dress then and pray for God's intervention because it beats my imagination that a working class women will refuse to assist at home. She buys and keep bottled water I her room but will never replenish pure water for the kids. Then yesterday, we were paid subsistence allowance and the amount was reasonable and we were all excited. But this morning he came to me with a gloomy face and I was like, what is it? What he said shocked me and may shock you too. He said instead of him to be happy that we received allowance, he is very sad and depressed! His wife brought a policeman to arrest him. He came home before the wife, only for her to drive in much later with a policeman and was told to report to the station to answer to reports written against him by his wife (who also got the allowance alert). He reported at the police station and the wife was called on phone (she stayed back while my colleague followed the policeman ). When she came, she said her husband has been threatening her life, hence her making the police entry. The man denied the allegations and told them that family issues should be settled by family and not in police station as He married her from a family and not a police station. He was released and got home by 11pm. What is your take on this as he want to leave the house for her. lala please help. |
| Re: Help! His Wife Is Tormenting Him. by mystiqueDZ(f): 8:00pm On Aug 03, 2016 |
Just Waoh.... The man's side of story... 13 Likes |
| Re: Help! His Wife Is Tormenting Him. by Cutehector(m): 8:00pm On Aug 03, 2016 |
Since she has gone to d length of involving the police, he should notify both families of what is happening... 9 Likes |
| Re: Help! His Wife Is Tormenting Him. by Cutehector(m): 8:02pm On Aug 03, 2016 |
mystiqueDZ:well, the narrator is the man's colleague so he may be right... 5 Likes |
| Re: Help! His Wife Is Tormenting Him. by niggi4life(m): 8:03pm On Aug 03, 2016 |
And you the OP is still asking what he should do? Anyway, i do say "the signs are always there but we choose not to see them" It's his own cross and he knows better what to do 4 Likes |
| Re: Help! His Wife Is Tormenting Him. by Vision4God: 8:06pm On Aug 03, 2016 |
Go on ur knees in prayer and then address issues wt ur wife squarely. If she is still adamant,let her b. *dont let her frustrate u. Take ur kids out, spend time wt them, and pls take ur niece along. God's grace. ( 3 Likes |
| Re: Help! His Wife Is Tormenting Him. by eph12(m): 8:07pm On Aug 03, 2016 |
Lol. The man can't handle his home, can't get out. And he is asking what he should do. Maybe he should poison his wife. The reply you will get is the same from everybody; he should leave the woman. Simple. Or is there something else you were expecting glossy6? 3 Likes |
| Re: Help! His Wife Is Tormenting Him. by greatgod2012(f): 8:07pm On Aug 03, 2016 |
This is serious. In marital issues, I've learnt not to take sides because there's always 3 sides to any marital or relationship issue, your friend's side, his wife's side and the truth. And if what you narrated here is true, how were they able to have 6 children together. Definitely, they started well and something went wrong along the way, because I believe if things have been like this between them from the onset, they wouldn't have stayed together to have 6 children together. Maybe they should go back to the family again or their worship center to help them settle the conflict. My opinion, please! 3 Likes |
| Re: Help! His Wife Is Tormenting Him. by Tallesty1(m): 8:08pm On Aug 03, 2016 |
That could be karma's menu for all the awesome hearts he broke while dating 10 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Help! His Wife Is Tormenting Him. by glossy6(f): 8:10pm On Aug 03, 2016 |
eph12: My dear I tire sha oooh. I told him to let her go and don't force the marriage to linger as I am afraid one of them may get hurt seriously as in bodily harmed. 3 Likes |
| Re: Help! His Wife Is Tormenting Him. by Nobody: 8:11pm On Aug 03, 2016 |
Tell him that he's a weakling. 1 Like |
| Re: Help! His Wife Is Tormenting Him. by glossy6(f): 8:17pm On Aug 03, 2016 |
greatgod2012: I told him that something must have gone wrong somewhere and he said most of these things surfaced when she came over to Lagos and started "big girls" stuff. He further claimed that his wife has been the stubborn type. I advised him to speak with her parents sha and see a way of resolving the issues. He tried calling his bro-in-law today but he didn't pick his call. For him, the wife is trying to create evidence of domestic violence against him and may one day tear her clothes or cut herself and run to the police. 3 Likes |
| Re: Help! His Wife Is Tormenting Him. by crackhaus: 8:20pm On Aug 03, 2016 |
A man is having issues with his wife and baring his mind to a female colleague of his - this alone tells me this man is at his wits end and has no where else to go or anyone else to talk to.  I'm surprised there are men like this still in existence who get pushed around by their wives in every available direction. Interesting... Well, not that surprising I guess. Lord knows what I and those I hang around (friends, brothers, bosses, & mentors) would have done to that woman by now. Is she mad? No seriously, she nuts or something?  10 Likes |
| Re: Help! His Wife Is Tormenting Him. by veave(f): 8:29pm On Aug 03, 2016 |
You make me remember one of our neighbours then. The man adds weight only when madam goes for official assignment. All her money is for expensive lace and party. She can go to eatery and burn 5k on a meal while her kids drink garri. They where always hungry and tattered. Give her money for food, voicemail. Buy it yourself, fight. They where always owing rent and school fees because her husband had no savings. You need to see fight if he refuses to bring money for frivolous activities. You can imagine a man walking on the road and mumbling to himself. We where always praying he doesn't walk into an oncoming car then. 6 Likes |
| Re: Help! His Wife Is Tormenting Him. by Nobody: 8:43pm On Aug 03, 2016 |
He married her when she was quite young abi? What does he expect from som1 he robbed of her childhood? She is living her childhood at an adult age so he should leave her alone! This always happens to peadophiles who thinks that marrying a kid will make her obey his order's and commands. Mtchew! 14 Likes |
| Re: Help! His Wife Is Tormenting Him. by glossy6(f): 8:44pm On Aug 03, 2016 |
crackhaus: His daughter passed the model college exams and the wife is threatening hell on earth that her child won't attend a cheap school. My kids attend model college and I don't have an issue with that and to think that I earn and have more qualifications than her beats me. And the man looks so quiet and forlorn. I can't give my husband 10% of that trouble ooh. If I kill him with stress, who will come to my aid  1 Like |
| Re: Help! His Wife Is Tormenting Him. by veave(f): 8:54pm On Aug 03, 2016 |
mineANDurs: Ahu odikwa gi? 8 Likes |
| Re: Help! His Wife Is Tormenting Him. by Onegai(f): 9:03pm On Aug 03, 2016 |
She cray-cray. Let him move out, before he ends up sleeping in a cell. No contact with her, moving out, after he has paid schoolfees, just leave then in 1 month's time (when he's beginning to feel like himself again), contact her family and sort out custody of the kids. Joint custody or visitation rights. I think his marriage is over, but let's see how things work out. And people don't just change, something happened for it to get this bad. 3 Likes |
| Re: Help! His Wife Is Tormenting Him. by glossy6(f): 9:03pm On Aug 03, 2016 |
mineANDurs: Marrying her young is not that she was a kid but someone who was up to 20years because the picture I saw on his phone is a picture of a beautiful woman in her late 30s & they've been together for about 16 years. He later assisted her in getting a job in his place of work. 4 Likes |
| Re: Help! His Wife Is Tormenting Him. by lilmax(m): 9:55pm On Aug 03, 2016 |
DIVORCE What insolence |
| Re: Help! His Wife Is Tormenting Him. by crackhaus: 10:18pm On Aug 03, 2016 |
glossy6:That woman is just something else, and all he seems to be doing is nursing a psychological time-bomb that's only staying time till it blows off. Tell your colleague to get a full hands-on grip on his balls and start owning his home....in a nicer way of course.  5 Likes |
| Re: Help! His Wife Is Tormenting Him. by crackhaus: 10:20pm On Aug 03, 2016 |
lilmax:Too easy I'd rather they stay married while he makes her life a living hell. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Help! His Wife Is Tormenting Him. by crackhaus: 10:25pm On Aug 03, 2016 |
mineANDurs:  10 Likes |
| Re: Help! His Wife Is Tormenting Him. by lilmax(m): 10:36pm On Aug 03, 2016 |
crackhaus:where the mind? The guy is a modern weak man(feminist) 1 Like |
| Re: Help! His Wife Is Tormenting Him. by DollyParton1(f): 11:38pm On Aug 03, 2016 |
He better finds an accommodation for himself, the kids and his niece. Disappear one day with the kids. Then they can talk about divorce later. Because if that woman doesn't kill him, he will set him up so bad someday. Either he ends in prison or dead. And those kids are just gonna grow up to be dysfunctional. That lady is crazy. 7 Likes |
| Re: Help! His Wife Is Tormenting Him. by Nobody: 1:46am On Aug 04, 2016 |
It seems she just hates the man and kuku wants to get rid of him. If I were him I wouldn't even want to go back to living under the same roof with someone who made such a false accusation against me. Anyone who can do that to you can deliberately kill you and find a way to cover it up, and in Nigeria she would probably get away with it because they would say it was an accident when it was an homicide. All these stress alone can even give him a heart attack and he would just be another example of someone dying before his time. I feel for the children who have been witnessing all these because they're the real victims here. 7 Likes |
| Re: Help! His Wife Is Tormenting Him. by Nyceguy92: 2:08am On Aug 04, 2016 |
A lady once confided in me with sadness that she did not "enjoy" her girlie girlie years because her husband married her right after primary school. So when she moved to the city, she polished up, made "big" friends and tried to "catch up" with lost fun. This is what's happening to OP's wife. She is like " Wow!, is this what I have been missing." She is punishing her husband for such a massive denial, only she is overdoing it. But seriously, how come he has no control over his wife's salary? It appears he did not lay the household income management foundation in the beginning. As the man pays the school fees so he decides where the kids go to school. The man should report the matter to his wife's family to see if they will be able to talk sense into her. If that fails, there is what Lawyers call "separation." The wife should go back to her people for some time to evaluate her marriage. Unless he is willing to live with her attitudes forever, the climax is divorce. 2 Likes |
| Re: Help! His Wife Is Tormenting Him. by KanwuliaMama: 2:43am On Aug 04, 2016 |
Hmmmmm! See wahala. I will say it a million times! Nigerians are NOT CAPABLE OF GIVING OR RECEIVING LOVE! Can NEVER live in peace EVER! Especially, the so-called Christian ones! Possessed to the CORE!  4 Likes |
| Re: Help! His Wife Is Tormenting Him. by KanwuliaMama: 2:44am On Aug 04, 2016 |
Ok! We have heard one side. Call the woman to give her own version. Thanks! As a MARRIED woman, I have learned NEVER to play judge on THIRD PARTY REPORTERS! Will sure love to read from the "woman"!  12 Likes |
| Re: Help! His Wife Is Tormenting Him. by KanwuliaMama: 2:46am On Aug 04, 2016 |
mineANDurs: Na wetin the man do for this tory? Or are you reacting from YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE? NL is now filled with kids who think owing a phone and having access to the internet make them wiser and smarter than their elders. If you were born in the 90s please don't quote me, because I don't sell biscuits & cheeseballs  3 Likes |
| Re: Help! His Wife Is Tormenting Him. by KanwuliaMama: 2:52am On Aug 04, 2016 |
I really need to stop quoting others I swear!  |
| Re: Help! His Wife Is Tormenting Him. by TheArchangel(f): 4:30am On Aug 04, 2016 |
Both of them are crazy. The man should use his subsistence allowance to rent a flat somewhere else and pack while the woman is at work. What's so hard here. These people has never lived together for long to know and understand each other. They have been in a long distance relationship which works fine for them and which ultimately managed to produce 6 children. They are not meant to live together as husband and wife as their long distance marriage has created a big void in them. All try have to do is to reignite the flame and sparks or ....continue with their separate life's. The man made the mistake of keeping the wife in the East and the woman made the mistake of agreeing to stay. He obviously spoiled and lavished them with money and his trifling lady thinks money grows on the streets of Lagos. Which schools do they attend in the East before relocating? |
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