crackhaus:

Lol..
Bad, good, short, tall, flat yansh, big yansh, humble, arrogant, princesses with attitudes, and those with level-head... I've seen them all.

The thing is I don't think I've met any one YET that will successfully pretend and not end up revealing her true self in less than six months.
I know how to bring out the best as well as the worst in people just to have an idea of what they capable of saying or doing.

You are one example here

Timbuktou:


Nna, I am saw it too. The chief witch is working tirelessly to spread discord and discontent into as many homes as possible. Tufiakwa.

Fkforyou:
^^^^^^...LMAO.

Advice: Don't take every comment personal. Just read, smile and move on.

crackhaus:

Lol, two steps never do you?

Seriously though, with those two steps alone the stage is set. The thing with matters like this is that it is more a mental/psychological thing than it is physical.

The way a 3yr old child already knows which of her two parents will melt and give her anything she wants once she starts crying loud enough.
Personally, that one doesn't work for me at all...and as my mom will always say "crying neva kill pikin before".

It's the same with adults - people (male/female) just subconsciously know who they can get to do what they want whenever they want.

Mindfulness:



That much time you need?

5minsmadness:


Thanks mate, i appreciate.
You know, these things are always quite easy to dish out, until one becomes personally involved. Then it gets a little more complicated

If Dorcy with all her razzmatazz, strong over-the-top personality, mental toughness, and oozing overconfidence couldn't do it...e go hard for anyone else oo

cococandy:
1) someone who can manufacture accusations is dangerous. Just like that she claimed the man is violent. Assuming he never ever raised his hands to hit her or even threatened to, that's enough reason for him to distance himself from her. That's a dangerous act right there. Also reeks of deep dislike for the man. He should save himself from crazy.

2) caveat: I'm for men and women contributing to the home financially as much as possible. That said, I don't feel sorry for any Nigerian guy who marries one of those women that don't want to. For goodness sake, you can't make a point of marrying a home keeper and expect her to also be a breadwinner. That's eating your cake and trying to have it back. If you're the kind of man that starts blowing hot air because you have to clean your child's poop or mop the floor, then shut up and bring home the bacon let the person whose sole duty in life is to clean up after you save her money and play house for you. Simple.
These confused dudes sef. Waltzing between traditional and modern as it pleases them.

3) OP you're emotionally invested in this man. Pls hands off and face your own home before your husband will start confiding in his female colleague about how his wife gives too much attention to one married man at her work place. It hurts you to see him in pain? I laugh in Washingtonian. That's how it starts. Innocent confidante. Nothing serious. Before you know it, you're beginning to hate the wife on his behalf. And then you're tempted to offer him comfort so that you'll stop hurting to see him in pain. We are all humans. Wepu aka enwe n'ofe tupu oburu aka mmadu.

EfemenaXY:


In the Nigerian setting??

Highly unlikely. Not when they órgàsm off the misery of others.

EfemenaXY:



Oh pls spare us the theatrics!

For once we get to read a story (assuming it's true) of a working, married woman refusing to be pushed around, or forced to live the pretentious suffering and smiling Mrs at all costs life.

Here is an independent working woman who knows her rights and has refused to be pushed around by her husband or "societal expectations". Hence her involving the police at the onset to curb any domestic violence thoughts the man might be harbouring from listening to poke-nosing advisors.

She's on ground with how it works in a patriarchal society like Nigeria where the man can do no wrong and will forever get a pat on the back no matter what. This woman has been honest from the onset about her views on home finance. She's not prepared to start something she can't finish as per "helping" him foot the bills. Too many stories abound about women helping out with good intentions only for the man to take advantage and eventually extract themselves totally from any financial commitment towards the upkeep of the home. No be Naija man again? In a setting that hugely favours the man and his antics?

We always advice spouses on here to start as they mean to go. Shebi he's the head of the home? Let him face his duties and stop bad mouthing his wife and mother of his 6 kids to all and sundry.

A woman refusing to trek under rain and sun to work but has rather chosen to save up for a family jeep (which incidentally would be used to make life easier not just for her but the entire family) is being berated? What's wrong with wanting to own a car which she would be paying for herself? Or must she age before her time to satisfy the opinion of outsiders who can't mind their own business? I'm sure the man's probably got one for himself.

I bet this woman's also built her own house hence the man knows he can't push her around. Let him keep badmouthing her to family and "friends". In the meantime, he knows where the door is if he can't stand the heat.

fairlyisabel:
I wonder why the man confided in a woman and not his fellow man.

chachanga:


As much as I loathe domestic violence, detesting men who do so as well as adulterers, these kinds of cases take the cake really and reading stuffs like this makes me wonder how practicable telling such a man not to flip and yet seek no other paradise outside is, really?

It's led me to believe in how unreliable suggestions and counsels here can be. I take posts on Reddit, 4chan, Yahoo more serious sef.

People butt into issues typing rubbish readily with the similitude of verbal diarrhea without any serious empathy or depth of thought on what levels of pain such scenarios must have held for the posters.

It's when people labor on unrealistically under the weight of stupid stuffs like many people posted here that make folks go at each other with hammers and cutlasses later.

You kept it real, though!

tearoses:


Because he knows that he can manipulate the story to pull on the Ops emotions and she will by sympathetic towards him.
A fellow man who knows what men can do will ask him what he did to warrant this.

glossy6:


And you think I did not ask those questions?
Well, the good news here is that they are mending fences, at least she has apologized for calling the cops for her hubby and so there is much room for sanity to come into that relationship.

For those who felt the man wants to cross my legs, maybe they are speaking from personal experiences. I've seen it all to be bamboozled just like that by a man just to hit a relationship with me, na today nyash dey back?

Just for the records, I did not in any place state that the man paid his niece's fees with ease. The niece is the house help as in typical Nigerian set up and she stayed at home for a term because he could not afford her fees in full. And that was after paying his children' fees.

While no one has a perfect marriage, being in a frustrating relationship no be here. No one prays for that but when it comes, one can only pray for God's grace and the strength to pull through.

As for indicting myself, I still wonder how and why? Sharing a story? Well, that's by the way! At least her eyes don come down small and I believe they will eventually pull through their challenges.

tearoses:


Because he knows that he can manipulate the story to pull on the Ops emotions and she will by sympathetic towards him.
A fellow man who knows what men can do will ask him what he did to warrant this.

tearoses:

That's great news im sure that you will give the couple room to sort themselves out

tearoses:

That's great news im sure that you will give the couple room to sort themselves out

veave:




I say it most times as i see it. We have a balanced proportion of good and bad men and women. No gender has one side more than the other. If you are lucky to end up with the good one. You keep thanking God. If you managed to get the bad one, you keep patching. All in all, life goes on

EfemenaXY:

byvan03:
I wonder how people manage to give another individual so much power over them.

glossy6:


Give room? I was not occupying any room in the first instance.

tearoses:


In what way dear?