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Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 10:42am On Sep 01, 2016
obiorathesubtle:
undecided Bro, seems to me something has already told you what to do.. You just want to hear it from our mouths..


Muna arrest that monster-in-law with SARS

If I tell you I have made up my mind I'll be lying. On one hand I'm a man that shouldn't be taking all these nonsense, on the other hand I'm a father looking for the best for my children. Then in the middle I'm trying to save my wife from an obvious present and future mistake.
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by firstking01(m): 10:43am On Sep 01, 2016
OdikwaRisky:
MIL from hell.
Honestly, in situations like this, there's very little that you can do because the hold of your MIL on your wife is very strong (and probably very spiritual ). Just keep on being a good father and husband and keep praying and hoping your wife returns to her senses. If at the end, all doesn't work out, know that you did your best and nothing that happened was your fault. Just make sure she doesn't get custody of your kids if she follows through with the divorce.
Have you tried a marriage counsellor?
Op, i don't think there's any other advice you'd need than this.
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by PeachyP(f): 10:43am On Sep 01, 2016

Get away from your mother-in-law
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 10:46am On Sep 01, 2016
PeachyP:

Get away from your mother-in-law

I wish I could keep away from her! My wife is the one the keeps running to her mum. There's no decision made by my wife without her mother's say so. As a matter of fact, sometimes in conversations, she calls her mum to listen in our conversations. I recently found that out.
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by obiorathesubtle: 10:49am On Sep 01, 2016
knuckbuck:


If I tell you I have made up my mind I'll be lying. On one hand I'm a man that shouldn't be taking all these nonsense, on the other hand I'm a father looking for the best for my children. Then in the middle I'm trying to save my wife from an obvious present and future mistake.
hmmm.. Twaci, skarlett, oliviaarims what do you think??



See those three girls I just called? Seasoned family problem specialists..


I still stand with the 'killing her' decision, a man has to make the right choice sometimes, no matter who will get hurt.. The children will eventually get over it, just like I'm over the death of my grandma, it has been 5 years now..

My good man, you're fighting a jihad in your family against that domestic terrorist you call a mother monster-in-law.. Someone has to die bro, for peace to reign..
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 10:53am On Sep 01, 2016
obiorathesubtle:
hmmm.. Twaci, skarlett, oliviaarims what do you think??



See those three girls I just called? Seasoned family problem specialists..


I still stand with the 'killing her' decision, a man has to make the right choice sometimes, no matter who will get hurt.. The children will eventually get over it, just like I'm over the death of my grandma, it has been 5 years now..

My good man, you're fighting a jihad in your family against that domestic terrorist you call a mother monster-in-law.. Someone has to die bro, for peace to reign..

LOL. I understand how serious this matter is but I wish it will end amicably. I pray my mother-in-law have a change of heart. My wife was almost stuck in the Turkish couple because she was supposed to take a connecting flight from Istanbul. I am so torn, I can't sleep, I hardly eat. It's just crazy. My too is unhappy and I see it.
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by obiorathesubtle: 11:00am On Sep 01, 2016
knuckbuck:


LOL. I understand how serious this matter is but I wish it will end amicably. I pray my mother-in-law have a change of heart. My wife was almost stuck in the Turkish couple because she was supposed to take a connecting flight from Istanbul. I am so torn, I can't sleep, I hardly eat. It's just crazy. My too is unhappy and I see it.
Lol. As much as this can cause you to starve yourself of food and sleep.. But it shouldn't, you're a man.. If you don't eat or sleep well, you will die! And you have caused even more problems for your family.. Do you want that??


Now.. Kill the monster-in-law.. Best advice bro.. Can't keep praying for her up and down..


If she has catalysed all that you've typed.. Bro, she's worse than boko haram..
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by PeachyP(f): 11:02am On Sep 01, 2016
knuckbuck:


I wish I could keep away from her! My wife is the one the keeps running to her mum. There's no decision made by my wife without her mother's say so. As a matter of fact, sometimes in conversations, she calls her mum to listen in our conversations. I recently found that out.
something may have happened that you don't know about cause I can't understand why your wife would even leave her kids for months to spend times with her mother.
Cut all contacts from that mother-in-law, she's not gonna change. Persistently tell your wife to do so too.
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 11:06am On Sep 01, 2016
obiorathesubtle:
Lol. As much as this can cause you to starve yourself of food and sleep.. But it shouldn't, you're a man.. If you don't eat or sleep well, you will die! And you have caused even more problems for your family.. Do you want that??


Now.. Kill the monster-in-law.. Best advice bro.. Can't keep praying for her up and down..


If she has catalysed all that you've typed.. Bro, she's worse than boko haram..

LOL. I'm sure no mother-in-law will want to mess with you. I've tried all I can to to resolve matters. Now I've resolved to stop begging my MIL. She does not deserve all the attention she's been getting. About a month ago my wife threw away all the shady stuff she brought from home last year. She didn't know I saw it on the trash. I know God is working already.
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by Twaci(f): 11:07am On Sep 01, 2016
Hmmm your MIL is something else....

Where exactly is your mother? She could help talk some sense into your wife and her mother and stand for you in this "fight".

You could also sit your wife down and find out what truly is wrong with her and in the process let her know what she'd be losing should she insist on a divorce. Suggest separation instead and if she agrees, let her go alone(not with your kids).

Something about issues like these is that the person u are looking out for will not listen to you until the bitter conquences reveal themselves. So don't fight it. Let her go and learn.

.....Also if I were a religious person, I would say u should pray about it too. Could be spiritual ties and blindfolds on your wife smiley

CC: obiorathesubtle

1 Like

Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by obiorathesubtle: 11:09am On Sep 01, 2016
knuckbuck:


LOL. I'm sure no mother-in-law will want to mess with you. I've tried all I can to to resolve matters. Now I've resolved to stop begging my MIL. She does not deserve all the attention she's been getting. About a month ago my wife threw away all the shady stuff she brought from home last year. She didn't know I saw it on the trash. I know God is working already.
Lol.. Hallelujah! That's good..



Once her powers are waning and she discovers, you won't like her 2nd attack wave.. Or is it 2nd??


Better you kill it off once and for all.. It's worth it..


Find one juju for kogi state wey dy hungry, sacrifice her for there..

1 Like

Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 11:17am On Sep 01, 2016
Twaci:
Hmmm your MIL is something else....

Where exactly is your mother? She could help talk some sense into your wife and her mother and stand for your in this "fight".

You could also sit your wife down and find out what truly is wrong with her and in the process let her know what she'd be losing should she insist on a divorce. Suggest separation instead and if she agrees, let her go alone(not with your kids).

Something about issues like these is that the person u are looking out for will not listen to you until the bitter conquences reveal themselves. So don't fight it. Let her go and learn.

.....Also if I were a religious person, I would say u should pray about it too. Could be spiritual ties and blindfolds on your wife smiley

CC: obiorathesubtle

Thank you. My mother is sad about all this. My mother-in-law will not even pick up her calls. I have talked to my wife, pastors have spoken to her, older women have spoken to her. She insists her mother is not happy with me and because of that her mother's happiness is what's important to her. She said her mother has suffered too much for her to turn her back on her. As far as our kids are concerned, the law of the land favors her because she is the mother. She thinks getting a house and receiving child support is enough. I'm this society it is best to raise your kids together. At the end of the day, we are just another set of black immigrants. I tried to make my wife understand this but to no avail.
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 11:21am On Sep 01, 2016
obiorathesubtle:
Lol.. Hallelujah! That's good..



Once her powers are waning and she discovers, you won't like her 2nd attack wave.. Or is it 2nd??


Better you kill it off once and for all.. It's worth it..


Find one juju for kogi state wey dy hungry, sacrifice her for there..

My brother, it was really an "hallelujah" moment when I saw the bag containing the fetish stuff in trash. The irony, we had a heated argument over those stuff the night before she flew to Nigeria. She came back and within 2 weeks she got rid of them.
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by CaraJewel(f): 11:21am On Sep 01, 2016
Soory mr...i feel 4 ur kids pass cuz last last shez stil deir mum...dey are d ones goin to suffer diz..if dey were in deir teens culd av been easier...incase she wants divorce again jxt come to nig and do it...cuz obodo oyibo system wil favour her and she may cook up lies about u
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 11:23am On Sep 01, 2016
PeachyP:

something may have happened that you don't know about cause I can't understand why your wife would even leave her kids for months to spend times with her mother.
Cut all contacts from that mother-in-law, she's not gonna change. Persistently tell your wife to do so too.

The more I talk to her about her mum, the closer they become. Remember, when I met my wife she had no idea where her mum was.
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by Nobody: 11:26am On Sep 01, 2016
knuckbuck:
I am a married man with three children under the age of 8yrs. We have been married for 9 years. I am faithful and have never cheated. My mother-in-law and I never agree because of her wayward way of life. She has encouraged my wife to have adulterous relationships. My mother-in-law abandoned her kids when my wife was about rounding up SSCE. When I met my wife she had no idea where her mum was. After we started dating she finally reunited with her mum. She used to be close with her Dad, now she views her Dad as the worst human being on earth and the mother as the only person important in her life. She has repeatedly abandoned me and the children just to be with her for months at a time.
January 2016, my mother-in-law told me she will make my marriage to her daughter come to an end, and she does not care what she does to make it happen. She said she does not know what she has gained from the marriage. She said we have neither bought her a car no built her a house. My parents, elders, my wife's father etc have begged her but she insists as long as she is concerned, it is over. My wife listens to only her mother and no one else. My wife has filed for divorce even though she does not have any steady form of income but she does not care. She's expecting to get at least a house and child support to sustain her.
Note, my mother-in-law has no steady source of income either. She depends on my wife for rent and even feeding. I have heard stories of what my wife does when she visits her mum. I know all these but for the sake of my children I am trying to make the marriage work!
House, what can I do? What should I do? I'm so confused and it's affecting even my job! Help!
sir... I'm sorry for all you going through to save that marriage for the sake of the kid, just be strong on this.

What I'll advise you to do now is this... You know no body knows what he or she has till one looses it. Just sign the divorce papers and take the kids along with you while she goes after her mum, if you can hold on to this plan long enough, you'll smile at last. If she goes to her mum and starts doing those shitty jobs to earn cash, there'll be a time she'll feel something is missing in her life, she'll feel that deep hole while realising she's being mislead by her so called mom all along... She'll run back to you, but it all depends on you if you wanna accept her back.


I wonder why u married such woman in the first place... I blame you small...
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 11:27am On Sep 01, 2016
CaraJewel:
Soory mr...i feel 4 ur kids pass cuz last last shez stil deir mum...dey are d ones goin to suffer diz..if dey were in deir teens culd av been easier...incase she wants divorce again jxt come to nig and do it...cuz obodo oyibo system wil favour her and she may cook up lies about u

My sister, she already cooked up lies already. I had to get an expense lawyer to fight restraint she and het lawyer put on me. She had to withdraw it when my lawyer sent a strongly worded letter. Cost me $4200.00. I'm still paying for the damn thing!
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by Nobody: 11:33am On Sep 01, 2016
This is crazy, my own advice is that you let your wife go. You've done your best to be a loving father and husband, if a divorce is what she wants, then grant it to her. She's obviously immature to still be taking heed of her mom's counsel after all she has seen in life. You cannot give her that maturity, only experience can, so let her go.

You can fight for custody of your kids citing her joblessness and irresponsible lifestyle as the reasons they can't stay with her. Hopefully you have strong evidence and the court will see it as reason enough.

That's my two kobo

Obiorathesubtle,happy new month dear kiss

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Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 11:34am On Sep 01, 2016
DatCuteGuy:
sir... I'm sorry for all you going through to save that marriage for the sake of the kid, just be strong on this.

What I'll advise you to do now is this... You know no body knows what he or she has till one looses it. Just sign the divorce papers and take the kids along with you while she goes after her mum, if you can hold on to this plan long enough, you'll smile at last. If she goes to her mum and starts doing those shitty jobs to earn cash, there'll be a time she'll feel something is missing in her life, she'll feel that deep hole while realising she's being mislead by her so called mom all along... She'll run back to you, but it all depends on you if you wanna accept her back.


I wonder why u married such woman in the first place... I blame you small...

My wife is the kindest woman you'll ever meet. Here she hosts total strangers, helps them and all that. When it comes to her mum, the world stops. Nothing else matters, not even her kids.
Initially my mother-in-law used to call me often so she could get close to her daughter. When my wife became pregnant with our first kid, she naturally Drew close to her mum. That's when started going downhill for us.
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 11:37am On Sep 01, 2016
skarlett:
This is crazy, my own advice is that you let your wife go. You've done your best to be a loving father and husband, if a divorce is what she wants, then grant it to her. She's obviously immature to still be taking heed of her mom's counsel after all she has seen in life. You cannot give her that maturity, only experience can, so let her go.

You can fight for custody of your kids citing her joblessness and irresponsible lifestyle as the reasons they can't stay with her. Hopefully you have strong evidence and the court will see it as reason enough.

That's my two kobo

Obiorathesubtle,happy new month dear kiss

Thank you, divorce may seem easy for now but in the long everyone will lose. Me, my wife and my kids.
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by obiorathesubtle: 11:37am On Sep 01, 2016
knuckbuck:


My brother, it was really an "hallelujah" moment when I saw the bag containing the fetish stuff in trash. The irony, we had a heated argument over those stuff the night before she flew to Nigeria. She came back and within 2 weeks she got rid of them.
Haha.. Miracles do happen bro.. It was progress, and I'm happy for that..


But consider my advice wink
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 11:39am On Sep 01, 2016
obiorathesubtle:
Haha.. Miracles do happen bro.. It was progress, and I'm happy for that..


But consider my advice wink

Your advise is too fatal. But thank you.

1 Like

Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by Nobody: 11:40am On Sep 01, 2016
knuckbuck:


My wife is the kindest woman you'll ever meet. Here she hosts total strangers, helps them and all that. When it comes to her mum, the world stops. Nothing else matters, not even her kids.
Initially my mother-in-law used to call me often so she could get close to her daughter. When my wife became pregnant with our first kid, she naturally Drew close to her mum. That's when started going downhill for us.
I smell juju... No woman would abandon her children in any situation, guy, you self be careful too ooo, let this ur wife go jejely to her mom and take good care of your kids.... Face what fate has brought u sir, you have bigger responsibilities right now than giving your self these worries... Focus on your kids and their future... Let your wife do what pleases her, she'll come back!

1 Like

Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by obiorathesubtle: 11:41am On Sep 01, 2016
skarlett:
This is crazy, my own advice is that you let your wife go. You've done your best to be a loving father and husband, if a divorce is what she wants, then grant it to her. She's obviously immature to still be taking heed of her mom's counsel after all she has seen in life. You cannot give her that maturity, only experience can, so let her go.

You can fight for custody of your kids citing her joblessness and irresponsible lifestyle as the reasons they can't stay with her. Hopefully you have strong evidence and the court will see it as reason enough.

That's my two kobo

Oborathesubtle,happy new month dear kiss
cool Happy new month, I had this long list of pals to wish a happy new month, it somehow vanished from the thread, I wanted to edit another comment and I edited that one.. Almost an hour effort to compile names.. GONE!! sad


Anyway.. Blessings on blessings to you this new month.. Use shades for the eclipse cool
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by CaraJewel(f): 11:46am On Sep 01, 2016
knuckbuck:


My sister, she already cooked up lies already. I had to get an expense lawyer to fight restraint she and het lawyer put on me. She had to withdraw it when my lawyer sent a strongly worded letter. Cost me $4200.00. I'm still paying for the damn thing!
..i hope ur kids are not always seein diz drama...if tz possible let dem stay wid ur parents...come to nig and do d divorce..ur wife nids to learn a harsh lesson cuz all ur doin trying to bring her back is null..plus from ur post it seems shez cheating
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by Nobody: 11:46am On Sep 01, 2016
knuckbuck:


Thank you, divorce may seem easy for now but in the long everyone will lose. Me, my wife and my kids.

Trust me, its not easy but do what you want to do. Its essentially your life, your family and your business smiley
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 11:48am On Sep 01, 2016
DatCuteGuy:
I smell juju... No woman would abandon her children in any situation, guy, you self be careful too ooo, let this ur wife go jejely to her mom and take good care of your kids.... Face what fate has brought u sir, you have bigger responsibilities right now than giving your self these worries... Focus on your kids and their future... Let your wife do what pleases her, she'll come back!

My mother-in-law is doing more than the physical. She was has my wife's younger ones staying with her. These young men don't even want to see their own father that raised them. They are all living with their mum and getting taken care of by my wife. They refuse to go to university and my mother-in-law doesn't want anyone else coming to the United states unless she comes first. I've asked my wife that we should help her brothers or DAD but she insists no one will come over until her mum comes.
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by Twaci(f): 11:52am On Sep 01, 2016
knuckbuck:


Thank you. My mother is sad about all this. My mother-in-law will not even pick up her calls. I have talked to my wife, pastors have spoken to her, older women have spoken to her. She insists her mother is not happy with me and because of that her mother's happiness is what's important to her. She said her mother has suffered too much for her to turn her back on her. As far as our kids are concerned, the law of the land favors her because she is the mother. She thinks getting a house and receiving child support is enough. I'm this society it is best to raise your kids together. At the end of the day, we are just another set of black immigrants. I tried to make my wife understand this but to no avail.
I still don't think divorce is a good idea. Insist on separation for the meantime.

But if the matter continues this way, let her do what she wants. You will just have to move on.

But here's an advice that comes from experience, no matter what happens, do not let them distance your kids from u. Always keep in touch no matter what it takes.
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 11:53am On Sep 01, 2016
CaraJewel:
..i hope ur kids are not always seein diz drama...if tz possible let dem stay wid ur parents...come to nig and do d divorce..ur wife nids to learn a harsh lesson cuz all ur doin trying to bring her back is null..plus from ur post it seems shez cheating

My kids unfortunately see all these things but they r really young. The way it works, my has more to gain if she gets divorce here and there's no way she'll agree to have it done in Nigeria. Yes, my has cheated with the active conniving of her mum. I'm not proud of it, but it is what it is.
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 11:58am On Sep 01, 2016
Twaci:
I still don't think divorce is a good idea. Insist on separation for the meantime.

But if the matter continues this way, let her do what she wants. You will just have to move on.

But here's an advice that comes from experience, no matter what happens, do not let them distance your kids from u. Always keep in touch no matter what it takes.


My wife knows I love my kids. She uses them as bait. She spent so much money on divorce lawyer thinking that she can force me into a divorce, I took my time and that has really frustrated her. Now she doesn't have that much money so she is dragging her feet about the divorce. She has not withdrawn the divorce from the court so I'm not resting yet.

1 Like

Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by Nobody: 12:00pm On Sep 01, 2016
obiorathesubtle:
cool Happy new month, I had this long list of pals to wish a happy new month, it somehow vanished from the thread, I wanted to edit another comment and I edited that one.. Almost an hour effort to compile names.. GONE!! sad


Anyway.. Blessings on blessings to you this new month.. Use shades for the eclipse cool


Pele but I saw your mention sha. No eclipse here o

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Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by JeffreyJamez(m): 12:01pm On Sep 01, 2016
KnuckBuck.....there is nothing to save here....be real.....Give her what she wants..I believe your children will understand...You might think they are too young to comprehend what is happening, but trust me, they do...let her go and concentrate on raising responsible kids.

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