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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Who Owns Me? (27109 Views)
My Boyfriend, Not My Husband, Owns My Pregnancy; Mother Of 4 / My Lover Owns The Twins Not You – Wife / Culture Vs Legal Law: Who Owns The Child??? (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Who Owns Me? by michbax(m): 8:47pm On Sep 12, 2016 |
It is quiet unfortunate that this is happening,I understand the psychological trauma that associates with it...I understand your mum,there is more to this,there is something she is not telling you,there is something she can't review to anyone..the most important thing here is GOD,let him guard you and give you the wisdom and understanding to resolve this issue. Your Father's family cannot give up on you because you are the Answer to their mysteries. Reasons why you should accept them is 1.It makes you have sense of belonging*in IGBO*you won't be regarded as an outcast,note that your step fathers family had rejected you already.(Use the case of Alex otti and Ikpeazu as reference) 2.You become a bona fide member of your fathers community,you can buy land and your children would not have any problem in your absence 3.Your late father can now rest wherever he is. 4.Once you have made peace with your father's family,the barrier of Barreness might be broken 5.The Destiny of your generation is in your hand 6.Goodluck bro 4 Likes |
Re: Who Owns Me? by achiabel(m): 8:55pm On Sep 12, 2016 |
I actually thought I was watching a Nigeria movie . |
Re: Who Owns Me? by elsomm(m): 9:00pm On Sep 12, 2016 |
michbax: Good one. Ask ur mom in confidence, if she made certain pronouncements in anger against them. 1 Like |
Re: Who Owns Me? by Nobody: 9:08pm On Sep 12, 2016 |
Nairalanders have done a big favour for me this day, thanks to everybody that commented here. I don't really know if my mom made any pronouncement on them and I don't think it will be wise to ask her. Once again thank you all. 4 Likes |
Re: Who Owns Me? by elsomm(m): 9:09pm On Sep 12, 2016 |
Gemc3: Don't be angry. Women hold more in childbearing. |
Re: Who Owns Me? by Nobody: 9:22pm On Sep 12, 2016 |
Omo... This your situation only God can solve. May God help you man |
Re: Who Owns Me? by Feshizzy(m): 9:29pm On Sep 12, 2016 |
Everyone here don turn special adviser, Even Thomas that don't know his left to right would also be advising someone. Bros, you mata dey very complicated. If you are believer firstly pray! Secondly, your chairman no do well, How can he keep you in the dark without informing you, that was immaturity on his part though. Your father's side needs you now, Ask yourself some fundamental questions, Like why? For is it just for torch bearing or there's more to it? Ask your mom, what she thinks your late father decision would be? Also ask her, why she went off grid the first? I understand lost contact part, but why? Then ask yourself, who are you? It may sound silly but it is a very necessary question, Actually I blame you mother a bit, she really made it though on you by not telling you earlier, I understand she has a reasons but it's always worst when a complete stranger knows about you more than yourself. I believe if your mom had really told you earlier you would have been better informed through the years when it get to this stage. Be thankful to your mother always for not aborting you, and be thankful to your dad for accepting you both, he is really a priceless man. He earned so much respect!!! I really wish I could give him a hug My dear brother, In your matter there's more that meets the eye, I advise you listen to your mom story and listen to your uncle's side of the story too. And if it's just your uncle wanting you back then you seriously need to have a rethink as you still ain't generally accepted. Practically, you haven't inherited anything from your father's side, so you owe them nothing. Oh! And again the ball is in your court, Everyone has played their path. Be the Man your fathers would be proud of. You are really lucky, two fathers loving you unevenly but don't push your luck too far. 1 Like |
Re: Who Owns Me? by egopersonified(f): 9:43pm On Sep 12, 2016 |
LegendDrogba: you better give us feed back, if not life ban on all your usernames |
Re: Who Owns Me? by IceDude(m): 9:44pm On Sep 12, 2016 |
@Keepingmum....Do u have a degree in ADVICIOLOGY? Ur advice make sense die walai!
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Re: Who Owns Me? by Ivoryred(f): 9:54pm On Sep 12, 2016 |
to forgive is divine,@op stick with ur mum for now,pray for her, so that God will touch her heart,let ur real family be for now,let them feel thesame pains your mum went tru.....give her some time,to think.don't rush things okay. 1 Like |
Re: Who Owns Me? by mabea: 10:08pm On Sep 12, 2016 |
Well it seems the family is suffering from a curse possibly for rejecting your mum and her baby. However I would suggest you don't rush into anything.Give your mum a little time she will definitely forgive and allow you preserve your family name. 1 Like |
Re: Who Owns Me? by Arielle: 10:08pm On Sep 12, 2016 |
achiabel: Truth is sometimes stranger than fiction. Listening to real life stories of real life people in Nigeria, you'll realise that a great number of people walk around with huge burdens on their shoulders. At times like this I thank God for my family. I really hope the OP talks things through with his mum and comes to a resolution. But don't hurt your mum, OP. Forgive your father's people for your father's sake, but don't accept their money or their offer for further studies abroad. Be a man and stand on your own and do for you. Your mum will be proud of the man she raised and so will your step dad. Good luck. 1 Like |
Re: Who Owns Me? by Arielle: 10:09pm On Sep 12, 2016 |
And who is the cave man that called women 'just incubators'? I've never heard anything more insulting. 3 Likes |
Re: Who Owns Me? by mabea: 10:16pm On Sep 12, 2016 |
Lolz |
Re: Who Owns Me? by mabea: 10:20pm On Sep 12, 2016 |
xpressTrade:More like severusnape |
Re: Who Owns Me? by mabea: 10:23pm On Sep 12, 2016 |
[quote author=xpressTrade post=49298909]sometin tells me the op is tonye barcanister [/quote) More likely to be Severusnape |
Re: Who Owns Me? by daveP(m): 10:27pm On Sep 12, 2016 |
crackhaus:I support this first thought!! Then, what has been your mum's constant prayer that you know of? This issue is common in Nigerian homes and it's rare that the accusers Wana make a comeback. it's rare. Then for a step dad too, he loves you that much, also rare. Your mum must've had a reason for the surname keeping. Work out a plan to set out the parties that were the 'starting eleven' of this issue of rejection, and tow that line effective. if your uncle isn't involve, then it's time to make some rules to be known if you're gonna accept. But God answers prayers. But start some investigation. Can help balance this equation! 1 Like |
Re: Who Owns Me? by cococandy(f): 11:12pm On Sep 12, 2016 |
Perfect. Nothing to add. Nothing keepingmum: |
Re: Who Owns Me? by galantjoe(m): 11:12pm On Sep 12, 2016 |
Blood is thicker than water Yes. Your step dad tried to raise u because he loves your mom. Your dad and his brother accepted your mother during the trying time. All these are past. But the real fact is your TRUE IDENTITY and granting your late father his wish for marrying your mom. In our side, prosterity and your late father will never forgive your mom for giving u WRONG IDENTITY. She will dearly pay for his. But now she is saved from such generation curse by this exposure by ur father brothers What u should do. Tell ur mom that u re granting your late father wish. Ur true identity. Where u belong. Tell her ur late father appear to u in dream ask to go back where u belong. It is ur decision. GO TO YOUR LATE FATHER HOUSE. THAT IS WHERE U RE LEGALLY BELONG |
Re: Who Owns Me? by Abimbola29(m): 11:26pm On Sep 12, 2016 |
guy my story is replica or should I say similar top yours,the only deference is I lost both my dad and my mum no siblings female or male just me,my dad's people(family) did not look for me,i was raised by my mums elder sis,thank God for her,during my secondary skool days I used to be the topic of the the yoruba class as in heh,my dad is from ibadan why my mum is from calabar, I don know how to speak yoruba @ all,the only thing that will make u know am a yoruba guy is the name,facial looks,character are more or like an ibo boy,bcoz of this I was being flogged in skool on daily bases by does frustrated soldiers back then. come 2009 I just woke up 1 sunday morning decided to go to look for my mums best friend she leaves @ ajegunle in here in lagos,the last time I visited her was 1994,i just follow my instincts to locate the place,when I got to the compound I meet a lady who I knelt down to greet told her I was looking for iya x,to shocked,she asked me from where I told her I needed to see iya X,i asked her if she knows her or knows where she most have relocated to,she said,iyaX was her mum I was shocked,when iya x saw me she asked from where I started explaining here there and so on b4she could recollect then she burst into tears,as expected,to cut the long story short,i located my dad's family his mum was still alive, all started crying when there saw me!!!but that was not the end of it oo!!! 1 Like |
Re: Who Owns Me? by Barney11: 11:52pm On Sep 12, 2016 |
don't worry ur mom will still accept things, that is women for you,she loves you and wouldn't want anything to bother you in future, you see ur step siblings knows ur not their first brother, someday you will be asked to go to ur real background, and besides ur not a bat u have to belong somewhere which is ur biological fathers side,will you grow old in another mans land? what of ur future kids? Pls tell mama that she is let go for the sake of ur future,she should not fight back with ur future,but on no condition should u neglect ur family u grew up with, they are the real family u have got unless they start to prove otherwise but u need ur fathers family for ur future.that is ur destiny, accept it Cos ur a man.Though this your story is too sweet to be true sha. Bros I dey hustle for job pm me if u can help. |
Re: Who Owns Me? by alinho60(m): 12:00am On Sep 13, 2016 |
U said one of your late dad brother was of help to u people right how come he just vanished into thin air or there is something ur mom isn't telling you . I think the fault is from ur mom she cuts connection with him cuz she got married to ur step dad, I know your dad family members have wronged you but believe me if a man is still searching for u up till this moment this person really cares about you.talk to your mother make her see reasons that this is your blood and u can't run away from them good luck man 1 Like |
Re: Who Owns Me? by Georgeisco2007: 12:03am On Sep 13, 2016 |
keepingmum: You nailed it. You just said my mind. 1 Like |
Re: Who Owns Me? by csamii: 12:16am On Sep 13, 2016 |
I see what's going on here. They (your father's family) don't have a grandchild yet and they think it's because of how they treated your mom. I say to you to tell 'em to take a straight train ticket to hell. All of them! |
Re: Who Owns Me? by janejive(f): 12:34am On Sep 13, 2016 |
Abimbola29:please continue, will like to know how it ended. u are a rare gem. |
Re: Who Owns Me? by Nobody: 1:57am On Sep 13, 2016 |
The thing is you are a sign child,but they were ignorant at firtst,but now that they have gone from one dibia to another,they have made it known to them that until they make your spirithead happy they wont multiply,infact i would say God has made their life on hold by checkmating their destiny in your hands,thats why they are running to make you ok,so their lives can be better with offsprings they would call their own,make a wise choice,becareful not to get cursed by mum,its dangerous. 1 Like |
Re: Who Owns Me? by nere: 2:38am On Sep 13, 2016 |
Pray about it and ask God to tourch your mom to forgive them. If they are ready to help and train you futher my brother you should ask God about it ACCEPT the offer. They too might have had a change of heart and they CANNOT HARM YOU. 1 Like |
Re: Who Owns Me? by adetorosey(m): 2:56am On Sep 13, 2016 |
Ummmm, your story is very touching. My advise is simple. Be careful! Have you asked yourself you still remain the only grandchild after these years? Why haven't there been grandchildren in that family since? Were you hidden by God's divine plan? You really need to ask yourself these questions. Think very well, and seek God's help. More so, listen to your mom. From what you have written, she seems a good mother. Speak to her and yield to her word. Once again, be very careful. May God be with you. Shalom 1 Like |
Re: Who Owns Me? by Chitos(f): 4:20am On Sep 13, 2016 |
Dear Eagle, pls avoid your father's family for now until you do more satisfactory background check (physically and spiritually). Pls avoid being used. Would they have accepted you if you were not the only grand son? Do not succum to being their subject. Am sure those promises by your father's people are being made just to gain you back. Live your life bro. All that glitters is not Gold. Live your life with the family that gave you self belonging and self esteem when your mum had challenges. You coped well with them, and who says you can't be a greater you with the contentment your impacting parents groomed you with. [b][/b] DO NOT BE A SACRIFICIAL LAMB FOR YOUR FATHER'S SIBLINGS |
Re: Who Owns Me? by Rijkard: 8:05am On Sep 13, 2016 |
I normally don't comment here, like reading the bashing and all the drama as a back bencher. But I will break my silence on this. You would have made it easier for us by telling us your tribe. In all these, culture has a major role to play. I will generally advise, but be sure my advise is rooted in my belief (which has root in my culture) Your mother has a reason to be angry, more so as a woman. You believe she has made it hard for you to do the RIGHT thing? Nah, she has actually made the decision for you from your account.....She advised you to change your SURNAME! That's it! you now belong to your dads family. What she is fighting now is you having a relationship with the family. By picking up the name, you are already a member of the family. Be clear on one thing, the UGLY circumstance that made you change your surname will always play itself out if you don't go to where you belong.....your family. In view of this, it is important you belong to the family, beside bearing the surname! You must attend meetings and events, hear the family history and all that. Your mother is mad because of what happened to her, she is right being mad, but you don't need to loose your lineage for that. Try your best to convince her, make her see reason why you need to relate with your dad's family. If at the end she still fails to see reason, go ahead and establish the relationship, you will need it in life. Don't be scared of the curse she says she will lay on you, it has no effect (curses only work when you are in the wrong). One more thing: A MAN BELONGS ONLY TO HIS FATHER'S FAMILY.... Kudos to your step-dad, he is a good man. Make sure he acts as your father during your marriage. He deserves it. |
Re: Who Owns Me? by iamclime(m): 8:31am On Sep 13, 2016 |
Bros, nobody owns you except God. So please do what God who owns you wants you to do. If you read the Bible, reading and prayerfully meditating on the following verses will help. All the advise you need is there: Psalm 36:9; Matthew 6: 14, 15; Galatians 6:5; Colossians 3:23-25. Please ensure you read those verses and also reason on them together with your mom, when she is a bit calm, of course. God's thoughts on how you can proceed are found in those verses. May your peace increase. |
Re: Who Owns Me? by dax4real(m): 8:38am On Sep 13, 2016 |
Nothing can replace one's family. |
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