It is quiet unfortunate that this is happening,I understand the psychological trauma that associates with it...I understand your mum,there is more to this,there is something she is not telling you,there is something she can't review to anyone..the most important thing here is GOD,let him guard you and give you the wisdom and understanding to resolve this issue.
Your Father's family cannot give up on you because you are the Answer to their mysteries.

Reasons why you should accept them is
1.It makes you have sense of belonging*in IGBO*you won't be regarded as an outcast,note that your step fathers family had rejected you already.(Use the case of Alex otti and Ikpeazu as reference)
2.You become a bona fide member of your fathers community,you can buy land and your children would not have any problem in your absence
3.Your late father can now rest wherever he is.
4.Once you have made peace with your father's family,the barrier of Barreness might be broken
5.The Destiny of your generation is in your hand
6.Goodluck bro

I actually thought I was watching a Nigeria movie .

michbax:
It is quiet unfortunate that this is happening,I understand the psychological trauma that associates with it...I understand your mum,there is more to this,there is something she is not telling you,there is something she can't review to anyone..the most important thing here is GOD,let him guard you and give you the wisdom and understanding to resolve this issue.
Your Father's family cannot give up on you because you are the Answer to their mysteries.

Reasons why you should accept them is
1.It makes you have sense of belonging*in IGBO*you won't be regarded as an outcast,note that your step fathers family had rejected you already.(Use the case of Alex otti and Ikpeazu as reference)
2.You become a bona fide member of your fathers community,you can buy land and your children would not have any problem in your absence
3.Your late father can now rest wherever he is.
4.Once you have made peace with your father's family,the barrier of Barreness might be broken
5.The Destiny of your generation is in your hand
6.Goodluck bro

Good one.

Ask ur mom in confidence, if she made certain pronouncements in anger against them.

Nairalanders have done a big favour for me this day, thanks to everybody that commented here. I don't really know if my mom made any pronouncement on them and I don't think it will be wise to ask her. Once again thank you all.

Gemc3:
And someborri said women are just incubators that the men provide the "seed". Then the seed fertilizes what? The incubator baa?

Don't be angry. Women hold more in childbearing.

Omo... This your situation only God can solve. May God help you man

Everyone here don turn special adviser,

Even Thomas that don't know his left to right would also be advising someone.

Bros, you mata dey very complicated.
If you are believer firstly pray!

Secondly, your chairman no do well,
How can he keep you in the dark without informing you, that was immaturity on his part though.

Your father's side needs you now,
Ask yourself some fundamental questions,
Like why? For is it just for torch bearing or there's more to it?

Ask your mom, what she thinks your late father decision would be?

Also ask her, why she went off grid the first?
I understand lost contact part, but why?

Then ask yourself, who are you?
It may sound silly but it is a very necessary question,

Actually I blame you mother a bit, she really made it though on you by not telling you earlier, I understand she has a reasons but it's always worst when a complete stranger knows about you more than yourself.

I believe if your mom had really told you earlier you would have been better informed through the years when it get to this stage.

Be thankful to your mother always for not aborting you, and be thankful to your dad for accepting you both, he is really a priceless man. He earned so much respect!!!
I really wish I could give him a hug

My dear brother,
In your matter there's more that meets the eye,
I advise you listen to your mom story and listen to your uncle's side of the story too.

And if it's just your uncle wanting you back then you seriously need to have a rethink as you still ain't generally accepted.

Practically, you haven't inherited anything from your father's side, so you owe them nothing.

Oh! And again the ball is in your court,
Everyone has played their path.
Be the Man your fathers would be proud of.
You are really lucky, two fathers loving you unevenly but don't push your luck too far.

LegendDrogba:
Thanks to everybody here, mom just called me now to come over tomorrow so we could talk, obviously she has read everything here and she knew it was me because of my moniker (am a CfC fan and also a big fan of Drogba, this she knows very well) and of course the story. Thanks to you all and God bless you. A big thank you to seun and his moderators for pushing this to front page.

you better give us feed back, if not life ban on all your usernames

@Keepingmum....Do u have a degree in ADVICIOLOGY? Ur advice make sense die walai!

to forgive is divine,@op stick with ur mum for now,pray for her, so that God will touch her heart,let ur real family be for now,let them feel thesame pains your mum went tru.....give her some time,to think.don't rush things okay.

Well it seems the family is suffering from a curse possibly for rejecting your mum and her baby. However I would suggest you don't rush into anything.Give your mum a little time she will definitely forgive and allow you preserve your family name.

achiabel:
I actually thought I was watching a Nigeria movie .

Truth is sometimes stranger than fiction. Listening to real life stories of real life people in Nigeria, you'll realise that a great number of people walk around with huge burdens on their shoulders. At times like this I thank God for my family. I really hope the OP talks things through with his mum and comes to a resolution. But don't hurt your mum, OP. Forgive your father's people for your father's sake, but don't accept their money or their offer for further studies abroad. Be a man and stand on your own and do for you. Your mum will be proud of the man she raised and so will your step dad. Good luck.

And who is the cave man that called women 'just incubators'? I've never heard anything more insulting.

Lolz

xpressTrade:
sometin tells me the op is tonye barcanister

More like severusnape

[quote author=xpressTrade post=49298909]sometin tells me the op is tonye barcanister [/quote) More likely to be Severusnape

crackhaus:
@LegendDrogba

Your dad's brother who supported your mom and late father when the rest of his family didn't, is your mom also angry with him?

I support this first thought!!


Then, what has been your mum's constant prayer that you know of?


This issue is common in Nigerian homes and it's rare that the accusers Wana make a comeback. it's rare.


Then for a step dad too, he loves you that much, also rare.

Your mum must've had a reason for the surname keeping.


Work out a plan to set out the parties that were the 'starting eleven' of this issue of rejection, and tow that line effective. if your uncle isn't involve, then it's time to make some rules to be known if you're gonna accept.

But God answers prayers. But start some investigation.


Can help balance this equation!

Perfect. Nothing to add. Nothing

keepingmum:
It takes more than semen to be a father. It takes more than blood to be family. Are you swayed simply because your biological father's family are well off? If they were rural farmers/herbalists/drug dealers/touts would the decision still have being difficult?

Where was your uncle who stood with your dad/mum when your mum was going through the trauma? No where!!!

If your dad's biological family all had kids/grandkids would they have come looking for you?

Its only when Nigerian families (the men especially) learn that you CANNOT abandon a child with their mother UNDER ANY circumstance and assume that "well she will suffer with the child and when the child grows, he/she will come looking for me".

If your stepdad hadnt trained you and shown you love as though you were his biological child, would you have thrived healthily, academically and mentally to the point of graduating and qualifying to work in an oil coy?

I find it insulting that your biological family think money answers all. Its even more insulting to your stepdad that they are saying they would train his children. Why didnt they train you? Why didnt they come looking for you all these years? At least they knew your mother and her family.

It would be very disappointing after all the heartache your mother went through, after all the sacrifices your DAD (the person you call step -dad had earned the right in every aspect to be called and respected as your dad) for you to throw all that away because of money.

When you were sick, who stood up all night supporting your mum emotionally whilst footing your bills - the man you call step dad

I suggest you go back to work. Tell your biological family that you need time and would appreciate they give you space/

Your dad has already given you the perfect answer, you are now a man. Choose wisely

Blood is thicker than water

Yes. Your step dad tried to raise u because he loves your mom. Your dad and his brother accepted your mother during the trying time. All these are past.

But the real fact is your TRUE IDENTITY and granting your late father his wish for marrying your mom. In our side, prosterity and your late father will never forgive your mom for giving u WRONG IDENTITY. She will dearly pay for his. But now she is saved from such generation curse by this exposure by ur father brothers

What u should do. Tell ur mom that u re granting your late father wish. Ur true identity. Where u belong. Tell her ur late father appear to u in dream ask to go back where u belong.

It is ur decision. GO TO YOUR LATE FATHER HOUSE. THAT IS WHERE U RE LEGALLY BELONG

guy my story is replica or should I say similar top yours,the only deference is I lost both my dad and my mum no siblings female or male just me,my dad's people(family) did not look for me,i was raised by my mums elder sis,thank God for her,during my secondary skool days I used to be the topic of the the yoruba class as in heh,my dad is from ibadan why my mum is from calabar, I don know how to speak yoruba @ all,the only thing that will make u know am a yoruba guy is the name,facial looks,character are more or like an ibo boy,bcoz of this I was being flogged in skool on daily bases by does frustrated soldiers back then. come 2009 I just woke up 1 sunday morning decided to go to look for my mums best friend she leaves @ ajegunle in here in lagos,the last time I visited her was 1994,i just follow my instincts to locate the place,when I got to the compound I meet a lady who I knelt down to greet told her I was looking for iya x,to shocked,she asked me from where I told her I needed to see iya X,i asked her if she knows her or knows where she most have relocated to,she said,iyaX was her mum I was shocked,when iya x saw me she asked from where I started explaining here there and so on b4she could recollect then she burst into tears,as expected,to cut the long story short,i located my dad's family his mum was still alive, all started crying when there saw me!!!but that was not the end of it oo!!!

don't worry ur mom will still accept things, that is women for you,she loves you and wouldn't want anything to bother you in future, you see ur step siblings knows ur not their first brother, someday you will be asked to go to ur real background, and besides ur not a bat u have to belong somewhere which is ur biological fathers side,will you grow old in another mans land? what of ur future kids? Pls tell mama that she is let go for the sake of ur future,she should not fight back with ur future,but on no condition should u neglect ur family u grew up with, they are the real family u have got unless they start to prove otherwise but u need ur fathers family for ur future.that is ur destiny, accept it Cos ur a man.Though this your story is too sweet to be true sha. Bros I dey hustle for job pm me if u can help.

U said one of your late dad brother was of help to u people right how come he just vanished into thin air or there is something ur mom isn't telling you . I think the fault is from ur mom she cuts connection with him cuz she got married to ur step dad, I know your dad family members have wronged you but believe me if a man is still searching for u up till this moment this person really cares about you.talk to your mother make her see reasons that this is your blood and u can't run away from them good luck man

keepingmum:
It takes more than semen to be a father. It takes more than blood to be family. Are you swayed simply because your biological father's family are well off? If they were rural farmers/herbalists/drug dealers/touts would the decision still have being difficult?

Where was your uncle who stood with your dad/mum when your mum was going through the trauma? No where!!!

If your dad's biological family all had kids/grandkids would they have come looking for you?

Its only when Nigerian families (the men especially) learn that you CANNOT abandon a child with their mother UNDER ANY circumstance and assume that "well she will suffer with the child and when the child grows, he/she will come looking for me".

If your stepdad hadnt trained you and shown you love as though you were his biological child, would you have thrived healthily, academically and mentally to the point of graduating and qualifying to work in an oil coy?

I find it insulting that your biological family think money answers all. Its even more insulting to your stepdad that they are saying they would train his children. Why didnt they train you? Why didnt they come looking for you all these years? At least they knew your mother and her family.

It would be very disappointing after all the heartache your mother went through, after all the sacrifices your DAD (the person you call step -dad had earned the right in every aspect to be called and respected as your dad) for you to throw all that away because of money.

When you were sick, who stood up all night supporting your mum emotionally whilst footing your bills - the man you call step dad

I suggest you go back to work. Tell your biological family that you need time and would appreciate they give you space/

Your dad has already given you the perfect answer, you are now a man. Choose wisely

You nailed it. You just said my mind.

I see what's going on here. They (your father's family) don't have a grandchild yet and they think it's because of how they treated your mom.

I say to you to tell 'em to take a straight train ticket to hell. All of them!

Abimbola29:
guy my story is replica or should I say similar top yours,the only deference is I lost both my dad and my mum no siblings female or male just me,my dad's people(family) did not look for me,i was raised by my mums elder sis,thank God for her,during my secondary skool days I used to be the topic of the the yoruba class as in heh,my dad is from ibadan why my mum is from calabar, I don know how to speak yoruba @ all,the only thing that will make u know am a yoruba guy is the name,facial looks,character are more or like an ibo boy,bcoz of this I was being flogged in skool on daily bases by does frustrated soldiers back then. come 2009 I just woke up 1 sunday morning decided to go to look for my mums best friend she leaves @ ajegunle in here in lagos,the last time I visited her was 1994,i just follow my instincts to locate the place,when I got to the compound I meet a lady who I knelt down to greet told her I was looking for iya x,to shocked,she asked me from where I told her I needed to see iya X,i asked her if she knows her or knows where she most have relocated to,she said,iyaX was her mum I was shocked,when iya x saw me she asked from where I started explaining here there and so on b4she could recollect then she burst into tears,as expected,to cut the long story short,i located my dad's family his mum was still alive, all started crying when there saw me!!!but that was not the end of it oo!!!

please continue, will like to know how it ended. u are a rare gem.

The thing is you are a sign child,but they were ignorant at firtst,but now that they have gone from one dibia to another,they have made it known to them that until they make your spirithead happy they wont multiply,infact i would say God has made their life on hold by checkmating their destiny in your hands,thats why they are running to make you ok,so their lives can be better with offsprings they would call their own,make a wise choice,becareful not to get cursed by mum,its dangerous.

Pray about it and ask God to tourch your mom to forgive them. If they are ready to help and train you futher my brother you should ask God about it ACCEPT the offer. They too might have had a change of heart and they CANNOT HARM YOU.

Ummmm, your story is very touching. My advise is simple. Be careful!
Have you asked yourself you still remain the only grandchild after these years? Why haven't there been grandchildren in that family since? Were you hidden by God's divine plan?
You really need to ask yourself these questions. Think very well, and seek God's help. More so, listen to your mom. From what you have written, she seems a good mother. Speak to her and yield to her word.
Once again, be very careful. May God be with you.
Shalom

Dear Eagle, pls avoid your father's family for now until you do more satisfactory background check (physically and spiritually). Pls avoid being used. Would they have accepted you if you were not the only grand son? Do not succum to being their subject. Am sure those promises by your father's people are being made just to gain you back. Live your life bro. All that glitters is not Gold. Live your life with the family that gave you self belonging and self esteem when your mum had challenges. You coped well with them, and who says you can't be a greater you with the contentment your impacting parents groomed you with.

[b][/b] DO NOT BE A SACRIFICIAL LAMB FOR YOUR FATHER'S SIBLINGS

I normally don't comment here, like reading the bashing and all the drama as a back bencher. But I will break my silence on this.

You would have made it easier for us by telling us your tribe. In all these, culture has a major role to play.

I will generally advise, but be sure my advise is rooted in my belief (which has root in my culture)

Your mother has a reason to be angry, more so as a woman. You believe she has made it hard for you to do the RIGHT thing? Nah, she has actually made the decision for you from your account.....She advised you to change your SURNAME!

That's it! you now belong to your dads family. What she is fighting now is you having a relationship with the family. By picking up the name, you are already a member of the family.

Be clear on one thing, the UGLY circumstance that made you change your surname will always play itself out if you don't go to where you belong.....your family. In view of this, it is important you belong to the family, beside bearing the surname! You must attend meetings and events, hear the family history and all that.

Your mother is mad because of what happened to her, she is right being mad, but you don't need to loose your lineage for that. Try your best to convince her, make her see reason why you need to relate with your dad's family. If at the end she still fails to see reason, go ahead and establish the relationship, you will need it in life.

Don't be scared of the curse she says she will lay on you, it has no effect (curses only work when you are in the wrong).

One more thing: A MAN BELONGS ONLY TO HIS FATHER'S FAMILY....

Kudos to your step-dad, he is a good man. Make sure he acts as your father during your marriage. He deserves it.

Bros, nobody owns you except God. So please do what God who owns you wants you to do. If you read the Bible, reading and prayerfully meditating on the following verses will help. All the advise you need is there: Psalm 36:9; Matthew 6: 14, 15; Galatians 6:5; Colossians 3:23-25. Please ensure you read those verses and also reason on them together with your mom, when she is a bit calm, of course. God's thoughts on how you can proceed are found in those verses. May your peace increase.

Nothing can replace one's family.