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Who Owns Me? - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Re: Who Owns Me? by lekonso: 6:57pm On Sep 12, 2016
Ranchhoddas:
I was taking your story seriously until you said that all the other siblings have not given birth and you are the only grandchild. Bro you can lie for Africa.

How do you know he told a lie, do you know him?
Re: Who Owns Me? by kpolli(m): 7:04pm On Sep 12, 2016
Talk to your mum, if she doesn't learn to forgive, God won't forgive her too....

You can't ask others for forgiveness and not forgive others.....

My advice, you guys should settle this. You're at a stage in life that you need more friends than enemies
Re: Who Owns Me? by gabe: 7:09pm On Sep 12, 2016
My brother go n chop ur share. Like ur stepdad said, u r man enuf to take decisions. How can u bear ur father's name without sharing his 'blessings'?
Re: Who Owns Me? by Lightening: 7:14pm On Sep 12, 2016
LegendDrogba:
Its a pity that lalasticlala and seun don't want to assist in pushing this thread to front page so I can get enough advise from people.. Pls lalasticlala do the needful.

House, have you noticed that the OP is niether seeking Yoruba's or IBO's or Hausa's advice nor South west or south east or south south advice. Not even advicers along political party or religious lines on this same highly polarized Nairaland forum. It is important to realize how useful all of can be to one another if we start evaluating ourselves on the basis of our characters. People benefitting from this malaise do not give a hoot about us. The all wise God whom we all compete to lay most claim to knowing and serving more than the rest made us so for his own pleasure not us ourselves. We should stop being STUPID.

@OP You must respect your mums sentiment on this for now because she knows the full story of neglect, abuse, shane hunger, and perhaps homelessness much more than what she may have narrated to you. While you go about your normal business, charge your biological father's people with winning your mother over first before you can be integrated back to their fold. I agree with Mum that they are actually trying to reap where they did not sow. Moreover, their motive and the desperation so exhibited is stinking with selfishness.

2 Likes

Re: Who Owns Me? by Gemc3(f): 7:14pm On Sep 12, 2016
I totally agree with keepingmum. They shouldn't expect you to make up your mind just yet. You know what? You mentioned you are the only grandchild. Is that why they are suddenly interested in you? That if they accept you now, karma will be reversed and other grand children will follow? If there were other grand children, would they still have reached out to you? Money isn't everything. I feel like because they have the money, they think they can buy you and everyone.. Your mom can't curse you. Incase she reads this. Please don't curse your innocent son. Her reaction is normal. She was deeply hurt and one who didn't wear the shoe would think haba. Can't she just forgive. Maybe she can. But forgiveness is not anmesia. You need time. She needs time too. She went thru a lot. Meanwhile, I think u need a new job. I know how the economic situation is but that would be the best. You are all grown now. They are not even meant to talk to you. They are supposed to be talking to your mom. The person they hurt. God will bless your father.(step dad) . It's rare to find such ppl.

2 Likes

Re: Who Owns Me? by AngelAhnie(f): 7:16pm On Sep 12, 2016
Ganjafama:
Some people are really born lucky o! The op left a good job and people are pleading with him to go overseas for further studies. Abeg let's change places. Back to topic, you have to forgive them because your late father wherever he is right now would want you to do that. BTW you must be severanusnape.
he is not. Snape left Nl cos its boring and he is not in southern part of naija.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Who Owns Me? by lakefist(m): 7:17pm On Sep 12, 2016
LegendDrogba:
I really appreciate your inputs sir. Thanks and God bless you sir.

The fact is there is nothing we can do here but to plead on your behalf. After all your dad didn't reject her!

I suggest you just drop your mum's number so that we nairalanders can plead on your behalf. A nairalander's problem is also our problem together we'll get through.
Re: Who Owns Me? by innuit: 7:21pm On Sep 12, 2016
keepingmum:
It takes more than semen to be a father. It takes more than blood to be family. Are you swayed simply because your biological father's family are well off? If they were rural farmers/herbalists/drug dealers/touts would the decision still have being difficult?

Where was your uncle who stood with your dad/mum when your mum was going through the trauma? No where!!!

If your dad's biological family all had kids/grandkids would they have come looking for you?

Its only when Nigerian families (the men especially) learn that you CANNOT abandon a child with their mother UNDER ANY circumstance and assume that "well she will suffer with the child and when the child grows, he/she will come looking for me".

If your stepdad hadnt trained you and shown you love as though you were his biological child, would you have thrived healthily, academically and mentally to the point of graduating and qualifying to work in an oil coy?

I find it insulting that your biological family think money answers all. Its even more insulting to your stepdad that they are saying they would train his children. Why didnt they train you? Why didnt they come looking for you all these years? At least they knew your mother and her family.

It would be very disappointing after all the heartache your mother went through, after all the sacrifices your DAD (the person you call step -dad had earned the right in every aspect to be called and respected as your dad) for you to throw all that away because of money.

When you were sick, who stood up all night supporting your mum emotionally whilst footing your bills - the man you call step dad

I suggest you go back to work. Tell your biological family that you need time and would appreciate they give you space/

Your dad has already given you the perfect answer, you are now a man. Choose wisely

Well said!
Re: Who Owns Me? by Gemc3(f): 7:22pm On Sep 12, 2016
And someborri said women are just incubators cry that the men provide the "seed". Then the seed fertilizes what? The incubator baa?
Re: Who Owns Me? by buchi4us(m): 7:22pm On Sep 12, 2016
My dear. I beleive ur now a man, ur mum is in her own family then which family do u belong now? It will take time but God has brought back ur own family. Take it easy u can pursue ur masters at the same time u keep on convincing ur mum at some point she will come to reality. She can't creat ur own family and relation for u, u and ur mum will have to forgive then so as God Will take control in their child bearing . Do u know why it took u more than 20years to know the hidden truth? Cheers
Re: Who Owns Me? by Nobody: 7:24pm On Sep 12, 2016
Thanks to everybody here, mom just called me now to come over tomorrow so we could talk, obviously she has read everything here and she knew it was me because of my moniker (am a CfC fan and also a big fan of Drogba, this she knows very well) and of course the story. Thanks to you all and God bless you. A big thank you to seun and his moderators for pushing this to front page.

5 Likes

Re: Who Owns Me? by Gemc3(f): 7:27pm On Sep 12, 2016
LegendDrogba:
Thanks to everybody here, mom just called me now to come over tomorrow so we could talk, obviously she has read everything here and she knew it was me because of my moniker (am a CfC fan and also a big fan of Drogba, this she knows very well) and of course the story. Thanks to you all and God bless you. A big thank you to seun and his moderators for pushing this to front page.

I wish you the best. May God grant you the wisdom to handle this issue. Regards to mom!

1 Like

Re: Who Owns Me? by ifeomaekol(f): 7:32pm On Sep 12, 2016
Tell your father' family to give you time----n I don't think you should accept any of their generous offers, they can't bring bck all d yrs u lost nor amend all d sufferings ur mum went thru. N don't expect ur mum to forgive them immediately, only God kws wat she went thru @ a tender age, alone n afraid in d world. @ d end u get to decide but ask urself this---if they had plenty of children n grandchildren would they hv remembered you? If ur mum n step dad hadn't trained u well will they still be proud of u today? I think ur loyality should lie wt d man u called father, ur mum n ur siblings. Allow ur mum some time, talk to her when she's calm n explain that ur love for her stands sure. She has n needs to forgive them bt dnt expt it too be NOW.

2 Likes

Re: Who Owns Me? by eprynce(m): 7:36pm On Sep 12, 2016
before you decide, think about what your status would be in 20 years time...think about when your mom and step father are departed. where will you legitimately belong? is it with your biological father's people or the other where there has already been qualms. in a nutshell, you must factor in the future before you decide.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Who Owns Me? by Ranchhoddas: 7:36pm On Sep 12, 2016
lekonso:


How do you know he told a lie, do you know him?
Abeg. All his father's siblings are barren, some even after ten years of marriage and are conveniently very rich, this makes him the sole heir to an Otedola-esque fortune. How convenient. His mama wants her son's birthright to go like that because she's angry over what happened years ago...Na so. You self you fit swear say you never get this kind fantasy before?
Re: Who Owns Me? by XaintJoel20: 7:37pm On Sep 12, 2016
"Peace talk" you mom. Give her reasons why you should be allowed to relate with your family. The truth is, not matter what, you have their blood flowing in you.


All the best...
Re: Who Owns Me? by Henrichemeka(m): 7:48pm On Sep 12, 2016
Well, just like your step dad said, you are a grown man and can take decisions for yourself. You have to decide first before seeking your mom's. Your decision should not be on the benefits, it should go beyond that. Approach your mom on how she met your dad, how they use to be, how he never gave up on her and make her see reasons why she shouldn't give up on him now. Make her understand she is not doing it for the family but for the man she once loved. Make her know you are that man still standing for her. Talk some senses into her, and if you are a christian, tell your pastor or priest about it and also ask him to help you pray about it and talk to your mom in heavenly way. Thanks and God bless you!
Re: Who Owns Me? by Nobody: 7:48pm On Sep 12, 2016
keepingmum:
It takes more than semen to be a father. It takes more than blood to be family. Are you swayed simply because your biological father's family are well off? If they were rural farmers/herbalists/drug dealers/touts would the decision still have being difficult?

Where was your uncle who stood with your dad/mum when your mum was going through the trauma? No where!!!

If your dad's biological family all had kids/grandkids would they have come looking for you?

Its only when Nigerian families (the men especially) learn that you CANNOT abandon a child with their mother UNDER ANY circumstance and assume that "well she will suffer with the child and when the child grows, he/she will come looking for me".

If your stepdad hadnt trained you and shown you love as though you were his biological child, would you have thrived healthily, academically and mentally to the point of graduating and qualifying to work in an oil coy?

I find it insulting that your biological family think money answers all. Its even more insulting to your stepdad that they are saying they would train his children. Why didnt they train you? Why didnt they come looking for you all these years? At least they knew your mother and her family.

It would be very disappointing after all the heartache your mother went through, after all the sacrifices your DAD (the person you call step -dad had earned the right in every aspect to be called and respected as your dad) for you to throw all that away because of money.

When you were sick, who stood up all night supporting your mum emotionally whilst footing your bills - the man you call step dad

I suggest you go back to work. Tell your biological family that you need time and would appreciate they give you space/

Your dad has already given you the perfect answer, you are now a man. Choose wisely
wisdom has spoken!!!!!!
@LEGENDdrogba.
This is the vivid and lucid answer to your problem.
Re: Who Owns Me? by elsomm(m): 7:51pm On Sep 12, 2016
LegendDrogba:
I am not a writer and I don't intend being one, so please just pay attention and you will definitely understand this my life story. My life is playing out before me like a nollywood movie and am so confused right now.
I finished service late last year and got a job early this year in an oil&gas marketing firm in Port Harcourt. Everything were going fine until July this year, my immediate boss called me to his office one good day and informed me that chairman(owner of the firm) would like to see me the next day, he asked me to be in the office as early as possible. Now prior to this time, I had been opportuned to see the chairman once, can't really remember what necessitated our meeting but immediately he saw me I could see surprises written over his face. He stared at me for a while, it was as if he saw a ghost. The day we were to meet came, dressed like never before and I made sure I was smelling nice, got to the office and discovered he was already in the office. 30mins after my arrival, I was sent a message that the chairman was ready to see me,got to his office, do I need to tell you that I was scared as hell. He asked me to sit, then after staring at me for about 10 seconds, he asked me of my full name, told him, by now my armpits were already getting wet. I became apprehensive when he started asking me about my personal family background, my state of origin,local govt, grand parents and even went as far as asking me if my dad was alive. I was surprised though but in all honesty I told him everything about me. I could see a smile in his face after hearing me, he then asked me to leave that he would call me again when he needs me. 2 days later, my boss called again that Chairman was around and he wants me in his office immediately, got to his office, he was with somebody, the person sitting in his front meaning the person was backing me. I greeted him, not even minding who was with him, was probably scared of what Mr chairman wanted this time around. In a split of seconds, I saw my chairman telling the other person sitting.. "Austin see your lost brother" fellow nairalanders, immediately this man turned to me, sitting in front of me was an advance or should I say a matured version of my humble self,though he was chubby and keeps afro, unlike myself that was still growing and also keeps low cut. He was an exact replica of me, he called me by my tribal name, now nobody aside my mom calls me by that name. He asked me to come closer, he hugged me,within a twinkling of an eye, he was shedding tears. He asked me of my mom, where have I been and all sorts of questions I can't really remember now. I could not even answer any one of the questions, you sure know how I was feeling now, didn't even know what waproduct on. He thanked our chairman, with the way they were joking and talking, it was obvious they were childhood friends... I was asked to sit and I immediately turned to one sort of a new born baby the way this man was talking to me, holding my hands,rubbing my hair and telling me how grandma would be so happy to see me. Didn't even know what brought my boldness back, I immediately asked him, who are you sir and whats going on here? He paused and looked at me and told me was my late dad's brother, he was my uncle. I stood up immediately and freed myself from his grip, dashed out of the office and headed to my house immediately without even carrying my back pack from my office since my phone was in my pocket. Called my mom and explained everything to her, she ordered that I take the next available flight back to Lagos. Was getting ready when i heard a knock on my door, my colleague in the office walked in, followed by our chairman and the 'sudden uncle'.

MY CHILDHOOD STORY.
Let me quickly take you back to my story, I was a product of teenage pregnancy, mom was rejected by my dad's family, she was only supported by my dad and his immediate brother, others were against my dad accepting his responsibility, even my mom's family rejected her with the excuse that she has brought shame to the family. In all of this, my dad and his immediate brother stood by my mom, rented an apartment for her and visits her often. Long story cut short, my mom gave birth to me and her family accepted her back. According to my mom, my dad was a comfortable young man then in the early 1990s cause he was a tanker driver. Tragedy struck when I was 2months old, my dad died in an accident. My mom was left to cater for me alone, though she was being assisted by my dad's brother. In all of this, my dad's other siblings and parents did not one day pay my mom a visit or even asked of me. All of this was explained to me after my mom was embarrassed by my dad(step-dad) younger ones after a disagreement they had with my step-dad. I was 18 before I knew that the man I grew up with to know as my dad was not really my Dad, my siblings were surprised to also know that we don't share the same father. My step-dad was such a nice man that I didn't lack anything, prior to his fight with his siblings, I was regarded as the first born, he was responsible for my schooling from nursery to university level, we were nine in the family and also a one big united and happy family. Even after the fight with his siblings, nothing changed at all, aside my surname that my mom advised me to change. I started bearing my dad's family name.

BACK TO PRESENT
now fellow nairalanders, here's the problem, my uncle (my dad immediate brother)has suddenly found me through my office and chairman, several family meeting has been held, they(my dad's family) want me back, they said they wants me to further my academic career abroad, take full responsibility of what they didn't do when I was kid. All they need is for my mom to forgive them, and let them have access to me when they want and also be a part of their family cause that was the promise they made to my dad a year after his demise. My mom's family has also joined them in pleading with my mom, my mom has sworn not to forgive any of them for what they did to her when she was a teenager. All of this happened (my mom's ill treatment happened in my mom's village back then before she relocated to Lagos and remarried. Now my mom has threatened to disown me and lay a curse on me if I dare accept them as my uncles or aunts or have anything to do with them. They are stinkingly rich cause my dad's immediate brother is into oil business and he has promised to sponsor my siblings (step-siblings) to university level, my step-dad has declined this offer, telling them he could take care of his family and he does not need anybody's help.He (step-dad) has refused to say anything concerning my dilemma, he told me i was a grown man now and should take responsibility for my life and make the best decisions I feel suitable.
Fellow nairalanders am at a cross road here, am confused and don't know what to do, presently am in with an uncle (mom's brother) my career has been haulted, am just confused and need your advises. What should I do? My mom is on my neck, sane with dad's family members. From the numerous family meetings, I got to know that am the only grand child in the family, non of my dad's siblings has given birth despite some of them being married for up to 10years now. They are six in numbers and four are married with no kids... Am the only hope(for now) of sustaining the family name.


I just need your input, how do I come out of this?
Am a very popular commenter here, especially in politics section, just created this moniker to get unbiased public opinions so this place won't turn to a place of hearing the word zombie or wailer. Am in my mid twenties.



Pls help me.


Such a touching story and I feel for you. All the new things and revelations you have to take in at once.

First, your step dad is a good man. Never forget that. Love him like ur father...he is indeed ur father.

Your late biological dad and his brother, are good men too. They took care of ur mom during her crisis. Have pity on them.

Then your mom has suffered much and is bitter. Understand her.

In all, everyone has learnt their lessons and it's you that has both the yam and knife. Whomever you cut and share to shall partake. Share to all.

Tell ur biological dad's family to give you time to sort things out. Like ur dad pointed out, you're a grown man now. You can make ur own decisions.

By sorting things out, try to soften ur mom's heart. Let her know ur love and loyalty lies with her and ur dad. By dad I meant, the man whose house you grew under. He forever remains ur dad. If you leave abruptly, he will feel like a man who lost his son. So assure him of ur love. Get ur mom to understand as a man, ur inheritance lies with your biological father's side. Point out the issue of ur dad's relative telling u, u are not one of them. You already bear the name of ur biological family.

If ur forgives them and allows u to go to them, ask for her blessings to reverse the curse.

You can then be with ur biological family but NEVER forget ur 'real' dad and mom and siblings. Always return home to them. Give ur biological family sense of belonging. Not cos of wealth but they even though rejected u needs ur love now and have remorsefully come for u. You might be the key they need to open the increase in human resource in their family.


Let everyone win. Let love lead. Follow ur heart and mind.

Be strong!

2 Likes

Re: Who Owns Me? by elsomm(m): 7:59pm On Sep 12, 2016
[quote author=LegendDrogba post=49292586][/quote]

Remind your mom of your late dad's commitment to her and you. And also ur uncle whim with ur dad never abandoned her. Let her have pity on ur late dad. You need to keep his name alive. And also console your uncle.

1 Like

Re: Who Owns Me? by Handsomecole(m): 8:01pm On Sep 12, 2016
ojsmscom:


You may have prayed for God to change your life for better.... Brother here comes the answer. Just go and posses your possession
What's this idiot saying?? Are you the one I advised??
Re: Who Owns Me? by UyiIredia(m): 8:12pm On Sep 12, 2016
I can't seem to make head or tails out of this story.
Re: Who Owns Me? by StoneColdBiceps(m): 8:16pm On Sep 12, 2016
LegendDrogba:
I am not a writer and I don't intend being one, so please just pay attention and you will definitely understand this my life story. My life is playing out before me like a nollywood movie and am so confused right now.
I finished service late last year and got a job early this year in an oil&gas marketing firm in Port Harcourt. Everything were going fine until July this year, my immediate boss called me to his office one good day and informed me that chairman(owner of the firm) would like to see me the next day, he asked me to be in the office as early as possible. Now prior to this time, I had been opportuned to see the chairman once, can't really remember what necessitated our meeting but immediately he saw me I could see surprises written over his face. He stared at me for a while, it was as if he saw a ghost. The day we were to meet came, dressed like never before and I made sure I was smelling nice, got to the office and discovered he was already in the office. 30mins after my arrival, I was sent a message that the chairman was ready to see me,got to his office, do I need to tell you that I was scared as hell. He asked me to sit, then after staring at me for about 10 seconds, he asked me of my full name, told him, by now my armpits were already getting wet. I became apprehensive when he started asking me about my personal family background, my state of origin,local govt, grand parents and even went as far as asking me if my dad was alive. I was surprised though but in all honesty I told him everything about me. I could see a smile in his face after hearing me, he then asked me to leave that he would call me again when he needs me. 2 days later, my boss called again that Chairman was around and he wants me in his office immediately, got to his office, he was with somebody, the person sitting in his front meaning the person was backing me. I greeted him, not even minding who was with him, was probably scared of what Mr chairman wanted this time around. In a split of seconds, I saw my chairman telling the other person sitting.. "Austin see your lost brother" fellow nairalanders, immediately this man turned to me, sitting in front of me was an advance or should I say a matured version of my humble self,though he was chubby and keeps afro, unlike myself that was still growing and also keeps low cut. He was an exact replica of me, he called me by my tribal name, now nobody aside my mom calls me by that name. He asked me to come closer, he hugged me,within a twinkling of an eye, he was shedding tears. He asked me of my mom, where have I been and all sorts of questions I can't really remember now. I could not even answer any one of the questions, you sure know how I was feeling now, didn't even know what waproduct on. He thanked our chairman, with the way they were joking and talking, it was obvious they were childhood friends... I was asked to sit and I immediately turned to one sort of a new born baby the way this man was talking to me, holding my hands,rubbing my hair and telling me how grandma would be so happy to see me. Didn't even know what brought my boldness back, I immediately asked him, who are you sir and whats going on here? He paused and looked at me and told me was my late dad's brother, he was my uncle. I stood up immediately and freed myself from his grip, dashed out of the office and headed to my house immediately without even carrying my back pack from my office since my phone was in my pocket. Called my mom and explained everything to her, she ordered that I take the next available flight back to Lagos. Was getting ready when i heard a knock on my door, my colleague in the office walked in, followed by our chairman and the 'sudden uncle'.

MY CHILDHOOD STORY.
Let me quickly take you back to my story, I was a product of teenage pregnancy, mom was rejected by my dad's family, she was only supported by my dad and his immediate brother, others were against my dad accepting his responsibility, even my mom's family rejected her with the excuse that she has brought shame to the family. In all of this, my dad and his immediate brother stood by my mom, rented an apartment for her and visits her often. Long story cut short, my mom gave birth to me and her family accepted her back. According to my mom, my dad was a comfortable young man then in the early 1990s cause he was a tanker driver. Tragedy struck when I was 2months old, my dad died in an accident. My mom was left to cater for me alone, though she was being assisted by my dad's brother. In all of this, my dad's other siblings and parents did not one day pay my mom a visit or even asked of me. All of this was explained to me after my mom was embarrassed by my dad(step-dad) younger ones after a disagreement they had with my step-dad. I was 18 before I knew that the man I grew up with to know as my dad was not really my Dad, my siblings were surprised to also know that we don't share the same father. My step-dad was such a nice man that I didn't lack anything, prior to his fight with his siblings, I was regarded as the first born, he was responsible for my schooling from nursery to university level, we were nine in the family and also a one big united and happy family. Even after the fight with his siblings, nothing changed at all, aside my surname that my mom advised me to change. I started bearing my dad's family name.

BACK TO PRESENT
now fellow nairalanders, here's the problem, my uncle (my dad immediate brother)has suddenly found me through my office and chairman, several family meeting has been held, they(my dad's family) want me back, they said they wants me to further my academic career abroad, take full responsibility of what they didn't do when I was kid. All they need is for my mom to forgive them, and let them have access to me when they want and also be a part of their family cause that was the promise they made to my dad a year after his demise. My mom's family has also joined them in pleading with my mom, my mom has sworn not to forgive any of them for what they did to her when she was a teenager. All of this happened (my mom's ill treatment happened in my mom's village back then before she relocated to Lagos and remarried. Now my mom has threatened to disown me and lay a curse on me if I dare accept them as my uncles or aunts or have anything to do with them. They are stinkingly rich cause my dad's immediate brother is into oil business and he has promised to sponsor my siblings (step-siblings) to university level, my step-dad has declined this offer, telling them he could take care of his family and he does not need anybody's help.He (step-dad) has refused to say anything concerning my dilemma, he told me i was a grown man now and should take responsibility for my life and make the best decisions I feel suitable.
Fellow nairalanders am at a cross road here, am confused and don't know what to do, presently am in with an uncle (mom's brother) my career has been haulted, am just confused and need your advises. What should I do? My mom is on my neck, sane with dad's family members. From the numerous family meetings, I got to know that am the only grand child in the family, non of my dad's siblings has given birth despite some of them being married for up to 10years now. They are six in numbers and four are married with no kids... Am the only hope(for now) of sustaining the family name.


I just need your input, how do I come out of this?
Am a very popular commenter here, especially in politics section, just created this moniker to get unbiased public opinions so this place won't turn to a place of hearing the word zombie or wailer. Am in my mid twenties.



Pls help me.

Like your step dad said "you are a grown man". It's left for you to convince your mum cos she still holds bitter grudges. In your mind you already know your decision but you have to let your mum seal it up for you. Your mum is the biggest decide here and not you or anybody. Speak to her like a man and try to be a reconciler that will mend bridges...you must convince your mum and don't do anything behind her. Also carry your step dad along to convince her.

3 Likes

Re: Who Owns Me? by elsomm(m): 8:18pm On Sep 12, 2016
keepingmum:
It takes more than semen to be a father. It takes more than blood to be family. Are you swayed simply because your biological father's family are well off? If they were rural farmers/herbalists/drug dealers/touts would the decision still have being difficult?

Where was your uncle who stood with your dad/mum when your mum was going through the trauma? No where!!!

If your dad's biological family all had kids/grandkids would they have come looking for you?

Its only when Nigerian families (the men especially) learn that you CANNOT abandon a child with their mother UNDER ANY circumstance and assume that "well she will suffer with the child and when the child grows, he/she will come looking for me".

If your stepdad hadnt trained you and shown you love as though you were his biological child, would you have thrived healthily, academically and mentally to the point of graduating and qualifying to work in an oil coy?

I find it insulting that your biological family think money answers all. Its even more insulting to your stepdad that they are saying they would train his children. Why didnt they train you? Why didnt they come looking for you all these years? At least they knew your mother and her family.

It would be very disappointing after all the heartache your mother went through, after all the sacrifices your DAD (the person you call step -dad had earned the right in every aspect to be called and respected as your dad) for you to throw all that away because of money.

When you were sick, who stood up all night supporting your mum emotionally whilst footing your bills - the man you call step dad

I suggest you go back to work. Tell your biological family that you need time and would appreciate they give you space/

Your dad has already given you the perfect answer, you are now a man. Choose wisely

You're right but through the story, I feel his uncle never abandoned him. Looks like he lost contact with them. And for his chairman at the office to make such investigations on him and connect him with his uncle, suggests they have been looking for him. Probably if not for the altercation that made him discover his true identity (everything happens for a reason), the chairman might not have linked him with his biological family. This suggests that they might have been looking for him but couldn't find him because of the name he bore at first before changing to his biological family name.

Let love lead

1 Like

Re: Who Owns Me? by elsomm(m): 8:22pm On Sep 12, 2016
LegendDrogba:
She is not really angry with him, just that accepting him also mean accepting the whole of the family knowing fully well that he is now the head of the family after my dad's death.

And rejecting the family means rejecting ur uncle.

Let her know that too.

God was willing to forgive Sodom and Gomorrah if He could find but one righteous man.

She's not God. And its just a family not a nation.

Let love lead

2 Likes

Re: Who Owns Me? by Alphamayor(m): 8:27pm On Sep 12, 2016
LegendDrogba:
Pls I need advises, lalasticlala, oga seun and other moderators pls help in pushing this to where it ought to be.... Mom is a regular guest here, maybe she can also get to read this and see what her son is passing through.
I have some advice for you. I understand what you're going through coz I have similar experience.
Re: Who Owns Me? by mcdokwe(m): 8:29pm On Sep 12, 2016
I would say accept them as no one is going to have your meat; if for nothing, for ur late dad's sake and for the uncle who stood by your mum and late dad. I'd say nature has punished them enough for deserting ur mum. Do not make the same mistake they made and stand to regret letter, u might never get a chance to make up for your mistake like they ae tying to do. Talk your mum into forgiveness and enlist the help of your stepdad who have poven to be a good and understanding man. God bless and guide you.
LegendDrogba:
This is MY REAL LIFE STORY not some nollywood movie, pls help me out. lalasticlala pls help.

2 Likes

Re: Who Owns Me? by dapsonlou(m): 8:32pm On Sep 12, 2016
If none of your father's siblings can have kids, then they might need to do a DNA on you. How can 4 sibling marry people who can't give birth? Not possible. If it's true then your father shouldn't be able to have children also.
Re: Who Owns Me? by ststyreal(f): 8:33pm On Sep 12, 2016
Stick to your mother and your step dad, I take God beg u, she must have suffered so much with the shame associated with teenage pregnancy stroke rejection. You can associate with your biological fathers people on a good morning good morning level, but hold onto your mum and step daddy because they are your real parents. If you were to be in their shoes how would you feel? Your step daddy and your biological mum owns you period. I love mothers, they are simply loving in the face of rejection and pain. Please make your mum happy always. God bless you and direct your footstep amen.
Re: Who Owns Me? by Occurstaem(m): 8:37pm On Sep 12, 2016
@LegendDrogba
I do not think you late dad's family are genuinely sorry for their wrongdoings. I think they are not remorseful. If all of them had fathered a child, would they come to you? No, they wouldn't.
They are only after "upholding their family name because none of your late dad's brother have fathered a child". Due to their problem, they might have been told by a spiritual centre to take you back. But whatever decision you take, do not or never upset your mother. Not only that she is your mother but she has seen it all, live and direct.
And person who can talk to your mother to forgive your late dad's family is her husband, your step-dad. She will listen to him only if he support you to accept your late dad's family.
Re: Who Owns Me? by elsomm(m): 8:42pm On Sep 12, 2016
BraniacX:
Eleyi gidi gan!angry
[size=20]This one is strong!!![/size] undecided

Truth is they all have a stake in you and there's no decision you make right now that won't leave at least one party disappointed! So arrange an impromptu meeting with all the concerned parties together in one location and go on your knees and plead that you're being pulled apart and you need them all to forgive and reconcile for your sake! Chikena!


This a great suggestion. Give it a thought. Would melt hearts

1 Like

Re: Who Owns Me? by Adefemiaderoju1: 8:44pm On Sep 12, 2016
Your mum should forgive your dads family and let go of the past since is not the fault of your dad and let you go to your dads family

1 Like

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