AngelAhnie:
I'm almost in tears. You don't need them again in life. When are you coming to my area or you want me to come? Na spar you go take me go if I come

hahaha maybe tomorrow may not be bad sha for me to come...

SmellingAnus:
hahaha maybe tomorrow may not be bad sha for me to come...

I will go out tomorrow but I'll like u to meet me there. Marine base roundabout. Can you?

Malakh:
You asked who owns you I'm coming from a biblical perspective, the seed comes from a man, women are just incubators, so biologically your relations is your dad's
immediate brother,your uncle, you share the same dna with him, you even said he looks like you, now in regards to your mum disowning you, its just a threat, she'll come back around.Tell her if she doesn't forgive the Creator also would not forgive her.You should also remember that everything(good and evil) works for the good of his people, so it might be the whole plan is to get you to go abroad,I share a similar fate with you.this might hit you the wrong way but your mum might be the obstacle in the way, damn what she says or the curses,you didnt offend her

And what sort of disgustingly senseless sexist talk is this? The seed is the fathers' and the women are 'just' incubators?? Why don't men just go pour their seed in any incubator and watch how it dries up? Now that the father is dead, who owns the child? Except dem join prick donate this 'seed', by logic, they have NO RIGHT to the child. As a SENSIBLE person previously commented, it takes more than sp..erm to make a FATHER and more than blood to make a family. Take that to the bank.

AngelAhnie:
I will go out tomorrow but I'll like u to meet me there. Marine base roundabout. Can you?

let's leave it for another day then... Who are you going to see there? Or is it business?

this woman,forgive and forget and let peace reign for the sake of your child and your late husband.

SmellingAnus:
let's leave it for another day then... Who are you going to see there? Or is it business?

I'll call you, lemme do the needful

Tell mom to forgive and forget.. No one knows what may happen in the next few hours or days.... Un forgiveness is a burden.... No matter how holy u r, righteous u r, if u r unforgiving, ur place is with thieves, murderers, adulterers in hell.. Let mum let go off that burden off her mind... Then she will be free and have no fear..... Just a bit of advice

Young man, I'll give u d advice I'll give myself. Go back to ur fathers people, accept ur surname and keep ur fathers lineage alive, come to think of it, ur shining teeth now as d first son in ur step father's house, wait till something happens to him that's when he's people will let you that ur not a part of them. I understand mother's pain, buh no matter what, ur root is ur root. At least ur father and he's brother accepted you. That alone should make up for d rest member of ur family. Ur a man and needs ur root, u need a family to really call ur own and now u have them. I can only pray that ur mother forgives them cos she can't ruin ur life just cos she's angry. If u wan marry today who wan follow u go? Ur step dad? No way as wat? Ur father would even curse u and ur mum if u let he's lineage close like that. So think wisely

Before I say any other thing, I would first like to ask the OP, what do you want to do? (I don't know if this has been asked before and answered. I went through only the first page)

Why do I ask?

Usually when people ask for public opinions, deep down somewhere, they already have a choice made. They only want to see if people think the same too.

Also, your choice will help you pacify or agree with your mum on this issue. Cos in the long run, the fact that you are now man comes to play and you have a capacity to influence your mum, since she is the major determinant here (or at you made us believe).

From what I read, your dad was involved with your mum and little you 'til he died. Only his family messed up.

So again sir, what do you really want to do?

Some people are really born lucky o! The op left a good job and people are pleading with him to go overseas for further studies. Abeg let's change places. Back to topic, you have to forgive them because your late father wherever he is right now would want you to do that. BTW you must be severanusnape.

Wow...cant believe what I just read .
Please tell us what part of the Bible gave you that perspective. Biko tell us.
Oga, kindly crawl back into the cave you came out from,. Also, do us a favour and go read your biology textbooks.

Cheers

Malakh:
You asked who owns you I'm coming from a biblical perspective, the seed comes from a man, women are just incubators, so biologically your relations is your dad's
immediate brother,your uncle, you share the same dna with him, you even said he looks like you, now in regards to your mum disowning you, its just a threat, she'll come back around.Tell her if she doesn't forgive the Creator also would not forgive her.You should also remember that everything(good and evil) works for the good of his people, so it might be the whole plan is to get you to go abroad,I share a similar fate with you.this might hit you the wrong way but your mum might be the obstacle in the way, damn what she says or the curses,you didnt offend her

LegendDrogba:
Pls I need advises, lalasticlala, oga seun and other moderators pls help in pushing this to where it ought to be.... Mom is a regular guest here, maybe she can also get to read this and see what her son is passing through.

Ur mum has gone through alot for u....ur decision should depend on her...if u want to accept ur dad's family mak her see reasons wid u...ur dad didnt abandon u...she should atleast tink carefully...nd rem ur late dad who supported her...but if she doesnt accept...den i advice u stick with her...whatever happns..make sure ur on dsame page with ur mum...gudluck

DataVille01:
Before I say any other thing, I would first like to ask the OP, what do you want to do? (I don't know if this has been asked before and answered. I went through only the first page)

Why do I ask?

Usually when people ask for public opinions, deep down somewhere, they already have a choice made. They only want to see if people think the same too.

Also, your choice will help you pacify or agree with your mum on this issue. Cos in the long run, the fact that you are now man comes to play and you have a capacity to influence your mum, since she is the major determinant here (or at you made us believe).

From what I read, your dad was involved with your mum and little you 'til he died. Only his family messed up.

So again sir, what do you really want to do?

Thanks for your concern sir, this may sound funny but seriously I don't have any idea of what to do. Am just so confused right now. Mom's is threatening me while dad's family and her(my mom's),family members are also pleading with her to accept them. My brother am confused, I must confess that before now, nothing could measure the amount of anger and hatred I had towards my dad's family when my mom told me her story. Right now I'm confused.

mizlovette:
Young man, I'll give u d advice I'll give myself. Go back to ur fathers people, accept ur surname and keep ur fathers lineage alive, come to think of it, ur shining teeth now as d first son in ur step father's house, wait till something happens to him that's when he's people will let you that ur not a part of them. I understand mother's pain, buh no matter what, ur root is ur root. At least ur father and he's brother accepted you. That alone should make up for d rest member of ur family. Ur a man and needs ur root, u need a family to really call ur own and now u have them. I can only pray that ur mother forgives them cos she can't ruin ur life just cos she's angry. If u wan marry today who wan follow u go? Ur step dad? No way as wat? Ur father would even curse u and ur mum if u let he's lineage close like that. So think wisely

I don't pray you ever go through what the OP mom went through,
Being rejected by both family at a time.
You just come here casually giving advise you yourself would never take.
It's an insult for you to say you understand mother's pain like you have ever felt any before.
Saying his father would curse both him and his mum really make me wonder how you even think.
When they rejected his mother and probably he had died, would their have been any lineage to keep?

chai....I knw the fellings ur not going there cause of the money,,but cause that's we're u from...u have to give it time,ur mumu will get over it she like has the final say here

Op, i think your mum is the key here,if you are able to convince her then you have solved your problem ,i mustt add that you have to convince her,plead with her for the sake of the love she shared with your dad,again give her plenty of time,she is just filled with pains of what she went through,its normal for her to feel that way,rightly too based on your story,but i think at last she will give in,motherly love will always supersede.shalom brother.

Your mum should put your interest and your future into consideration above her offense and hate. It said that if you will not forget the offense yesterday you won't have someone to befriend.

She should let go and let you join with your dads family.

Truth is ur mom needs to let go of the past and live in the present by forgiving them I'm a product of an away match my story is long and even worse than the one you wrote but I chose to forgive my step sisters

I feel for you bro. Start with, mom, pls can we have some moments? Sit your mom down, ask her to first of all forgive herself and you if she loves her creator, and to remember all she had shared with your late dad, and respects your uncle had for her those years of trying times(which some of us are going through now). I know is not easy, trust me.

There must be one person your mom listening to, can you get that person to talk to your mom? Doctor Jesus will help you.

#Gobacktoyourdads'familyandbewise

LegendDrogba:
I can't possibly go back to my work in port Harcourt cause the company is owned by my uncles friend, that's like going back to them(dad's family) thanks sir for your advise.

Did ur uncle play any role in u stopping work? Or u just decided to quit simply because ur boss has ties with ur uncle?


Ur uncle didn't get that job for u, did he? I don't think so.

U can as well do ur job very well without ur uncles interference.

All u need to do is to tell them to forget about u for now, and since they really want or need u to lift a course on them they will not do anything bad to u or to even provoke u. Right now, u are the boss. Behave like one.

Be a bigger person.


But please go back to ur mum, even when everyone wasn't there for u, u can't also be there for her. She needs u, she needs to know that u are on her side, she needs that assurance that she is still the boss, she needs to know that, he who laughs last, laughs best.


She will still soft pedal,

U will still remind her that ur real fathers brother was there for her and ur dad.

U will still remind her that every disappointment is a blessing in disguise.

Remind her that she couldn't have had this wonderful family and kids if what happened didn't happen.

Remind her that she might not have been able to remarry after ur fathers demise( maybe he wouldn't have died if they had allowed ur mum).

Remind her that all things would have been better for the family if this never happened, but as it happened an they found themselves in such dilemma, they suddenly made her the queen they never wanted.

Remind her that time heals all wounds.

But don't go back because of wealth.

Be there for ur step dad.
Be there for ur current family.

U can still go back if u want, but don't be pressured to.

Take ur time

Make ur mum the queen that she is destined to be using u.

We all respond to trauma differently and forgive differently as well. Don't coerce your mum forgiving, let her take her time. Guess this is like opening fresh wound, allow her to heal organically and if any of your dad's people come to you pls refer them to your mum to settle with her! She alone knows what she passed through, in fact how sure are you it was not the pain of the dejection she passed through that made her lay a curse on your dad's family?
Put yourself together, and ask this people to give you space untill they settle with your mom.
Godbless

I had a similar experience too. I got to know my Dad not up to 5years now. It wasn't a good experience cause my mum's family saw us (me and my twin brother) through school, in fact, we never knew he is alive because my mum has refused to say anything about him. But when I wanted getting married I had to look for my father because it was the promise I made to myself never to get married without knowing my root.
It took me 3months searching but I finally fulfill that promise am happy to know my family though my mum's family were mad @ me but have pleaded with them and everything is fine now. What worked for me might not work for you, just plead with your mum and you should also know that you are a grown man now. Make sure involve God first, then your pastor. There is nothing as sweet as family.

kaen1317:
Long thing. Just follow pmb's que. "I belong to everybody, I belong to nobody"

Hahahahahaha this story is terrible, I don't even know what to say.

This is a very touching story, it almost brought tears to my eyes.
I suggest you go back to your father's family, since he and your uncle were not to blame for your mom's rejection by their family. If you do this, you will keep your late Dad's legacy alive as he was a very nice man.
Your mom should soft-pedal on her hard stance that you should have nothing to do with your father's family as your step-father's can never really accept you as their own; that incident that happened when you were 18 years should be an eye opener to her. I kYinow she was badly hurt and treated by your father's family, but to forgive is divine.
Great moral of the story: If you as a teenager mistakenly become pregnant or happen to impregnate a girl, do not rush to abort that pregnancy as you may never know the divine purpose of that pregnancy. This nugget of wisdom was passed to me by a teacher, back in secondary school and I have since found this advice to be very true.

You see your story and mine is a bit similar... But the difference is my dad is still alive and I don't know where the hell he is, but the best is to ask your mom to forgive them.

It's good having a family love. Whereas your father's family has paid for it indirectly

My bro, the only reason your Dad's family suddenly wants you is because you are the only Grand child that will be able to sustain the family name. The question you should ask yourself is would they have wanted you if there were any 'legitimate' male grand kids. Your mum is not being selfish. Put yourself in her shoes and reason all of this. It is easy to forgive but can we ever forget.

Lastly what if your step dad and mum were your only life options will you be confused - NO. Money is not everything. Sometimes you allow people go with their money. The moment you comply to money you have been bought for a price. You may just be helping your biological father's family by teaching them a generational lesson and not going back. The moment anyone in that family has a child out of wedlock, they will learn to take care of the child and accept fully.

I have come to learn something in my almost 40 decades of living that family is not by blood ties, family is who was there, is still there and will continue to be there without any selfish interests.

To cap this up, I was brought up in a nuclear family that my parents adopted siblings along the way. Most of my foster siblings are even doing better than some of the biological kids but you will never know the difference.

Pray hard about it. You will not want to loose your mum you know.

chigoizie7:



Did ur uncle play any role in u stopping work? Or u just decided to quit simply because ur boss has ties with ur uncle?


Ur uncle didn't get that job for u, did he? I don't think so.

U can as well do ur job very well without ur uncles interference.

All u need to do is to tell them to forget about u for now, and since they really want or need u to lift a course on them they will not do anything bad to u or to even provoke u. Right now, u are the boss. Behave like one.

Be a bigger person.


But please go back to ur mum, even when everyone wasn't there for u, u can't also be there for her. She needs u, she needs to know that u are on her side, she needs that assurance that she is still the boss, she needs to know that, he who laughs last, laughs best.


She will still soft pedal,

U will still remind her that ur real fathers brother was there for her and ur dad.

U will still remind her that every disappointment is a blessing in disguise.

Remind her that she couldn't have had this wonderful family and kids if what happened didn't happen.

Remind her that she might not have been able to remarry after ur fathers demise( maybe he wouldn't have died if they had allowed ur mum).

Remind her that all things would have been better for the family if this never happened, but as it happened an they found themselves in such dilemma, they suddenly made her the queen they never wanted.

Remind her that time heals all wounds.

But don't go back because of wealth.

Be there for ur step dad.
Be there for ur current family.

U can still go back if u want, but don't be pressured to.

Take ur time

Make ur mum the queen that she is destined to be using u.

I really appreciate your inputs sir. Thanks and God bless you sir.

SeriousMinded:
I feel for you bro. Start with, mom, pls can we have some moments? Sit your mom down, ask her to first of all forgive herself and you if she loves her creator, and to remember all she had shared with your late dad, and respects your uncle had for her those years of trying times(which some of us are going through now). I know is not easy, trust me.

There must be one person your mom listening to, can you get that person to talk to your mom? Doctor Jesus will help you.

#Gobacktoyourdads'familyandbegood

Remember me in your wealthies future.

I thought you were actually serious minded till I saw the bolded!

OP go back to them at your own peril,
Not all that glitters is gold.

Think about this:
You have stayed with your step-dad all your life and he has loved you unconditionally never for once did he ever reminded you that you were not his.

Why do you want to switch? Are you having problems where you are currently?

People voted for change, and see where we are. Do you also want to see the change personally too?

Think about this:
Just so you, in reality and not in fantasy land,
The moment you accept this new people you would loose your old, and loose value on both side,

If you stand your ground,
You step-dad would respect you for life,
You mum would tender her blessings more on you than ever before,

Your almost-to-be-new family,
Would have high regards for you,
That even with all the temptations,
You stood you ground as a man,

Believe me, they would respect you even more,

mizlovette:
Young man, I'll give u d advice I'll give myself. Go back to ur fathers people, accept ur surname and keep ur fathers lineage alive, come to think of it, ur shining teeth now as d first son in ur step father's house, wait till something happens to him that's when he's people will let you that ur not a part of them. I understand mother's pain, buh no matter what, ur root is ur root. At least ur father and he's brother accepted you. That alone should make up for d rest member of ur family. Ur a man and needs ur root, u need a family to really call ur own and now u have them. I can only pray that ur mother forgives them cos she can't ruin ur life just cos she's angry. If u wan marry today who wan follow u go? Ur step dad? No way as wat? Ur father would even curse u and ur mum if u let he's lineage close like that. So think wisely

How could people just speak just because they have the mouth to?

Just listen to yourself.

Why do they have to wait for so many years?

I will tell u, it is because of their present predicament ( not being able to have their own children).

Do u think they would have looked for an heir to the family if they had their own kids? NO.


Op will go back, but let it be after the mother had done her shakara.

U don't know what it feels like to be rejected. What if they bowed to the pressure and aborted OP? Would there any any heirs left?

[quote author=LegendDrogba post=49291067]This is MY REAL LIFE STORY not some nollywood movie, pls help me out. lalasticlala pls help

I was taking your story seriously until you said that all the other siblings have not given birth and you are the only grandchild. Bro you can lie for Africa.

xpressTrade:
sometin tells me the op is tonye barcanister

same as me