beldad:
my dear just accommodate her excesses, its just a phase she passing through. it will pass.

humilitypays:
‎Cc: nameerfhetennek
‎
Hmmmm, guys de always fuckup sha.

A girl you were in a serious relationship with left u to start dating another older man just because u left the country to seek for a greener pasture And after u have settled well and made it financially, u came back to beg the same girl that left u for another older man to pls marry u Hmmm guys una well done o

For your info number 1: that girl married u only because u have money and living comfortably abroad, which 99.9% of Nigerian ladies wouldn't say no to!
‎
Her true love for u flew away the day she decided to start dating another man while u were away; u weren't supposed to forgive that!

So your marriage started on a very shallow foundation and that will affect your marriage generally no matter how hard u try. Your wife can even cheat on you when she feels lonely or unsure of your total love and care.

Men aren't supposed to marry any lady who sees them as second option. Every guy ought to marry a girl who sees him as her only hero and only option not a fall back.


Guys will keep making this mistake of marrying ladies who see them as an option, and their marriage will keep ending in disaster.

Whoever told u that the first year in marriage comes with fights, misunderstandings, quarrels, etc is telling u lies because not all couple fight in their first 1 - 3 years of marriage and I know I won't whether devil likes it or not! Nigerians need to kill this wrong mentality that first 3 years in marriage is always about fights and misunderstandings because it's wrong! Not all couples fight in their early years in marriage. In fact, y must u guys that claim to love and accept each other's faults fight It's total wrong!

The major mistake people make in marriage is ignoring the negative signs during courtship in the name of lust they call love.

People always see the red signals during dating but always ignore it maybe because their partner looks pretty or handsome physically and they feel they can't get a more handsome or prettier person, so they keep ignoring their partner's faults and end up marrying, and when these faults escalates in marriage, they start to cry fowl as if they didn't see them earlier during courtship.
‎
Your own red signal was the breaking up with u to date another guy and u still came back to her to wife her, who does that Is she mami iwota abi wetin? You try, so endure and enjoy your wife, u got what u wanted bro. 


And your wife spat on your face, for real Hmmn some ladies get mind sha. Happy married life‎

chuksbogus2001:
I don't know how Saudi deals men beating women .let me tell u when we were small my mum used to be very arrogant and rude to my dad cos he is a quiet man not until my mums mother I mean her own mum told my dad to beat her .After my dad gave her a better beating peace ,love respect came to our house since 1984 till now my mum has never raise her voice against my dad. Am not advocating women battery but a times small spanking does the magic

STFUareyouG0d:
no disrespect or insult meant, but I think you are mad

cescky:


This is exactly why most Nigerian girls don't marry or don't marry the right one .... "Forming"g if their boyfriend and girlfriend ok no problem ,I'll try to decode or what ever it is she girls want

Girl I hope ur married and if not u better change ur thinking , if ur my wife all the way from school way back and u can't point blank tell me u need me, love me, best Sex styles etc them u can't be trusted .their husby and wife whats there to say am Hot again?.....

Naija girls una go tey. I've dated a non Nigerian it was never like this make una de form. I hold on to bible principles , but this days women are proposing to men, not that I support neither am I gaianst it cos the bible doesn't speak against it. Make una de de form he's supposed to know.is he a prophet? The man just came back from hard work in the office....who shld be pampering who? Change ur mindset if u know what good for.

VolTOxic:
Most men would have given her a beating, but you kept your cool. For that I respect and admire you. Now to the point, Yes. Please send her away. That woman hates you!

How can your own wife say that horrible thing and spat to you face?! She hates you. She have crossed the line.
You said your marriage is a curse. You are not happy at all. Neither is she. You are not making a mistake. Do it.

You are a true gentleman. You deserve better. You'll find someone to heal your wounds. Don't even waste your time for any shìt counselling. She is not the woman you fell for. That woman is gone the moment she spat. Forever.

megastu:
Re appraise your relationship.

Reading your post, i think there is one thing lacking; sex, quality sex. The moment she hid the remote in her pant, she wanted a good bleep, but you didnt see it.

Sending back to Nigeria is not the proble. BTW try and throw that game console away and concentrate on your wife that is if you guys still want each other.

jelal007:
Bold ko,curve ni. If u have nada 2 say,keep mute joor.

RedCapChief:


When she seizes his stuff, screams at him and spits on him; what should the hubby understand?

If a married woman wants to have sex with her husband, believe me he will not miss her signals.

Okikiki:
@OP
nameerfhtennek:

I must start by congratulating your maturity and calmness in handling this matter up to this point.

However, some facts garnered from the story (your side of the coin) suggests :
1.Your woman never had absolute trust on you hence she broke up with you and entered another relationship

2. You have been having issues with her for a year now which suggests built up aggression which has not been fully resolved.

3.Both of you are yet to understand yourselves which is impacting on your compatibility.

4.I see a situation where none of you listens to each other's needs culminating into latent anger. Any minute provocation revives the same anger and trouble breeds from there.

MY ADVISE :

1. You need to address the trust issue in your marriage. Does your wife have absolute confidence that you are always there for her? You are the head of your home, you would set the tone of what your home should be and vigorously pursue an all inclusive policy.
The lack of trust made her to doubt the veracity of your explanation about forgetting the internet gadget in your office.

2. Find out your wife's pains. It is not all about you. She might be struggling alone, without you noticing her pains. Open up for her to empty herself in you. Then she would have the inner peace which would translate to yours as well.

3. Do not send her packing at all. Bring her closer and forgive her with a very stern warning that she won't be so lucky next time such occurs. Build a bond with her.
No marriage is perfect, it's a whole lot of work from both of you to make it succeed.
However you are the head, walking into the life of another woman might not be the best option for you because you wouldn't know the content of the next woman's character.

Putting all together, he who is forgiven more loves more, as declared by the Greatest Teacher Himself.

It is well.

Read this:
http://www.richardpaulevans.com/index.php/2015/02/09/saved-marriage/

bigtt76:
From the OP's message, it was clear he was a bully or hot-tempered guy. How would you expect the wife to be open to him? She's probably scared of him and of course when pushed to the wall too often, one tends to start getting more courageous. This is what is happening to the wife now. She probably was once cowered into keeping quiet. Now she's getting more confident and talks back at the man and his rantings. don't worry about me ...I'm taken already and happy in it even with my 'thinking'!

thekingisback:
just like yours.

Behira:
[s]Yea iam madly inlove with christ, but ur case is abt been mentally derailed[/s]

doveda:
How is your mama, the complicated ‘object'?

thekingisback:
you're the person who's plain stupid you slowpoke. What likes am I looking for? Am I not entitled to my opinions anymore? Woe betide you for that useless comment.

cescky:


Even if ur correct... Why should u Marry some one that scares u?

Hot temperd yea, but evidently he's under control or he would have beaten her up already.

If u can't be open to me irrespective of my temperament why did u marry me? Maybe to show off to ur friends that ur married ....wrong thinking again. If I as a husband has a problem why not help me seek solution don't be part of or use the problem against me.

Babe I sincerely hope ur taken and by the right one too because u like most people have a wrong premise about marriage and wrong premise will always result in wrong conclusion ....because from ur statement above ur already bias against the guy, explaining how she's scared of her husband etc.

Marriage is a spiritual Union and those who enter with physical eyes are doomed for travails...u can't wash the outside of a pot and says it's clean...if a couple are one they help each other in their inadequaices including how to better satisfy each other sexually stop all this trash about he's supposed to know .wise words are mostly rejected that's why the whole world is in turmoil. If the world was wise it would be a paradise. Change ur thinking ( many girls marry for society and manny don't marry at all because of the genRal mode of Naija girls thinking. A word is enough for the wise

tomayira:
I really wish I could talk to you and your wife one on one, the truth is she's not in Nigeria and she's bored because she's not working, no kids to occupy her, no friend/family to visit. shopping seems to be the only thing that takes out and of course the internet. You seem to be the office and game type, give her more time when you're back from work. Call her and talk things over, if u love her, you can't give up on her yet.

Reloader:
Goodmorning, Mr Gentleman. I will honorably Thank you for not raising hand on her for all that transpired, but have you gone back on your own private time and reconciled with your self knowing what it takes to have them around, from your details I can understand one specific word, "NEGLECT"
1) she asked to go for a shopping with you - You Response, Your were Tired!
2) She asked for your Internet Router - No Answer or response (calling a fool)
3) she picked up the remote and switched off the TV left with the remote to the Kitchen put it down her pant, you went after her and only God knows how you got it back from her.
4) She came back and collected your game console all you could do is to squeeze her hand and got it back from her.

My friend please if you are still playing please I use the word please realize that women are naturally emotional and attention seekers, and that is what your wife not your girl friend was asking for, for crying out loud nothing more,
All you could do around your tired time with strength and Vigor was to play games and watch FIFA. please go back and rethink for me you owe her an apology, if you could not understand any thing. she asked you out for a shopping you refused, she got home change to a short gown, took remote put into her panties has she not sent message enough for able and capable man like you to understand? Hey wake up Man!!!!! YOU WANT TO BE A KING THEN MAKE YOUR WIFE A QUEEN......

bigtt76:
I'm not biased against the guy or in support of the wife's actions. The truth is that since both had been together since their university days, they ought to have understood each other before going into what they have now.

They guy probably knows what he liked in her and she in him. They both know how they turn themselves on either through fighting or through nagging.

Maybe the guy is just lost in his FIFA 17 game to understand her new tactics or she is no longer in sync with his. They will get there someday.