₦airaland Forum

zheroes:
would you also expect your wife to cheat? i never said she will but just have it in mind so if it happens you will take it in good strides? at least if you wont take it you can leave.

CrazyQuinn:
yes I did...How's your night? Hope you're having a wonderful weekend?

Millerz:
Exactly...The nigga has lost a chromosome. Spewing thrash is his watchword now. Couldnt even finish reading his bullsheet.

Laido:
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Yezzup . Night wass good! #Happy sunday to ya!

Toks2008:
I have seen many marriages break up and it seems there is a common ground for disintegration.Today I will be as real as usual and it will be in the best interest of any married lady or intending wife to take this piece seriously.

If you are a married lady reading this I want you to understand that these 3 facts are essential for you to experience a happy union.

1. Expect your hubby to cheat on you: I have heard many times that not all men cheat and I sincerely believe but nevertheless, to be on the safer side, expect that man to cheat on you.

By having this expectation, you will not be caught unaware and you would have developed a psychological shock absorber in the advent that he does but if he remains faithful to you then good for you. It is totally foolish for a lady to hinge her marital happiness on her husband's fidelity.

And the moment you start seeing those cheating signs in him,rather that start threatening fire and brimstone which may worsen the situation, i will advice that you simply warn him to do it as far can from you because what you don't know can't hurt you and warn him to use a protection to avoid bringing home STDs.

Once you tell him this, just switch to indifferent mode as regards his sexual faithfulness to you and choose to be happy regardless. Hard I know but this is just how the cookie crumbles and this is one secret to having marital bliss even with a hopeless philanderer.

[b]This is one big secret i want every married lady reading this to know; Yes cheating must be discouraged and guys involved must understand that it is a sure way to hell but no matter how long you preach against it,men who want to cheat will still cheat on their wives but here is the secret...98% of men who cheat on their wives still love their wives so dearly but only want to take advantage of ladies who have willingly offered their-selves as side dishes...NEVER EVER GIVE UP YOUR MARRIAGE FOR A SIDE DISH TO TAKE OVER because that is what she wants you to do and even if you leave your marriage, there is no guaranty that your next man won't do worse. Believe it or not, most men always come back to their wives no matter how many side dishes they take advantage of and many men suffer from mid-life delusion crises where they believe it is their right to be with as any ladies as possible but relax, that euphoria and delusion will soon wear off and you will have your man 100% to yourself...This is one big secret i just revealed to you.[/b]

2. Make your own money: Do you know that if you are really busy with your life and very financially independent, you will care less about who your husband sees, where he goes and what he does outside the home or even what he has in his will? Do you know that men respect financially independent ladies?

What I want many married ladies to know is that once they are married and start having children, the most important thing in their life at that point is self development and that of the child(ren). When you spend time developing yourself, even your hubby will give you great respect. Please don't ever settle to be a full housewife..at worst get a shop around where you stay and do something.

3.Perform your marital duties: Men do not joke with bedroom and kitchen matters. Do you know how to cook your husband's favourite meals? do you know how to make him go crazy in the room?

Most men who cheat are lured by either good food or bed-magics of another lady. While you refuse to go down on him and give him those crazy moves, one lady out there is ready to do stuffs that will make him have an attention at work just by thinking about her.

Many married ladies keep nagging about their husband's infidelity while neglecting those virtues that will endear their husbands more to them..most times when a man is drawn away by another lady, there is usually something that lady is doing that you are lacking so focus first on becoming a great wife before you complain of your husband's infidelity.

And for the man, be communicative and let your wife knows what you want so that she can do her best to make the union a better one.
And if you are so hell bent on cheating on your wife please do it as far away as you can because one of the biggest ridicule and disrespect you can bring on your marriage is to cheat on her to her face.

I believe that if married ladies understand these three points, they will always remain happy in their marriages and infact grow old with their partners till death do them apart. You just understand that no one holds the key to your marital happiness except you.


I hope this makes sense

sarahade:
I read post like this and go crazy. do you think that men are so wonderful that their wives don't think of cheating on them. let me tell you an average Nigerian woman will cheat on her husband with anyone gateman sef you know why because african men don't know how to love a woman but want submission and peace of mind. be the Man your wife wants and see if she won't have 3some with you.

VolTOxic:
No 1 is the harsh truth. Every man will cheat on his wife or Bae at some point. Or if he doesn't, he will want to.

revolt:
love comes from submission. Haven't u heard of men tht ppl complain so much bout wifes influence on him.

As for 3some thts a big lie. Jelosy is in womens dna, shell nvr willingly share her husbnd.

CrazyQuinn:
Happy Sunday!

Oliviaarims:
I have a problem with number one. It's one thing to expect that your husband may cheat on you someday in the long run (which should never be) , but it's a different matter altogether to tell your husband straight out that you expect he'll cheat on you.

That has a lot of implications. First, it means you're telling him you don't trust him even if he may not have done anything in the past to warrant that sort of distrust. Just by virtue of him being a man, you're saying you can't trust him.

Also, it will seem as though you're giving him free reins...to cheat on you as long as you don't find out. That way, even if he does cheat, he'll be very comfy with himself.

Thirdly, it just doesn't make sense at all. Be prepared for the worst, but don't concede to the worst.

naijaboiy:
[b][color=#1980BC]Everybody arguing. Some people against the Op while a few others are in support of him. I, on the other hand is just sitting on the fence not knowing which side to turn to.

Because if we look at this issue from the angle the Op is coming from we will discover that he's right. It's a bitter truth many of us don't want to hear, especially the ladies.

Some of us should go back home and ask our mothers if our fathers ever cheated and how they reacted to it when they found out.

Now those who are opposing the Op are also right in their own way. Since cheating itself is not a good thing, it is very human and natural for us to condemn it but that doesn't change the fact that it still happens.

I believe the Op is only trying to advise that if you want a lasting marriage these are some of the things you should be able to do otherwise that marriage may not last. There are many other factors that may make a marriage crumble but infidelity is like the number one.

If every woman has the intolerance towards cheating and won't take it the moment she finds out that her hubby is cheating permit me to say that we would have an influx of marriages ending on infidelity cases. But that's not to say because you want to keep a marriage you should endure every bullshit. As someone rightly stated it's even better to remain single.

I'm going to use the recent political happenings in Nigeria to buttress the Op's point further.

When we had Goodluck Jonathan as president, many people complained of his government as being corrupt and put in every effort to kick him out of office. They succeeded and another man who is believed to be a disciplined person when it comes to corruption was put in place.

Now the economy is in coma and nothing tangible has been done to revive it. We now have the same set of people who clamored for a change of government asking that the former government policies should return. They are now saying they prefer the corruption like that, at least they were not suffering.

Corruption in itself is a bad thing. But when a government is corrupt but yet the citizens can still be comfortable they will endure or tolerate such from the government as far as they are happy.

In my opinion, it's the same thing. You have to expect a government to be corrupt even though it's frowned at so that the moment you hear of millions of funds being stolen by an official you won't be the least surprised.

Cheating or corruption will never be justified or seen as good, but we as humans should always prepare for the worst from fellow humans like us, so we aren't taken unawares.

It's not about throwing insults at the Op. if you settle down to read his article you'll see his points clearly and I think it should be applied to every day life, not just marriage.

Expect anything from anybody.[/color][/b]

Millerz:
Oh look; a deranged fellow. People like you shouldnt breed cuz your retardation may affect an innocent offspring.

Let me school you, females are generally smarter and wiser than men of the same age as they are.

Compare 2 two year olds (boy and girl), I assure you, 100% of the time, the girl is always smarter. Females also learn to read and communicate way before their male counterparts.

diva90:
Does this include your Mother as well?
Before you hurriedly make such stupid statements, think!

pennytration:
No. 1 is on point. Some gullible women actually get married believing their husbands can never cheat on them. These types suffer d most in marriages.

wrongnumber:
E be like sey many ladies reading this article dey read am upsidedown or nah dia brain no fit understand.

He wrote that ladies should have the expectation and not that it is OK for a man to cheat and he even condemn the act sef. Omo I no go fit marry naija babe o cos many if them get low iq walahi.

WindUpMerchant:
I don't care if you been married for 50years. you're supposedly giving an advice for the unmarried.A destructive advice at that. your definition of a happy marriage is dreadful. it is a marriage of permissive unfaithfulness, endurance and sexist. What if the woman decides to cheat? or worse of the both cheat simultaneously? I can't take you serious.your heresy is a laughable one. I spare a thought for those who will believe these lies you keep spewing.

Millerz:
Well then dont write trash next time. You cannot say one thing this minute and the opposite a second later. Pick a struggle. Not every man cheats and not every man is a potential cheat. That's like saying all men will go to hell.

Oliviaarims:
I have a problem with number one. It's one thing to expect that your husband may cheat on you someday in the long run (which should never be) , but it's a different matter altogether to tell your husband straight out that you expect he'll cheat on you.

That has a lot of implications. First, it means you're telling him you don't trust him even if he may not have done anything in the past to warrant that sort of distrust. Just by virtue of him being a man, you're saying you can't trust him.

Also, it will seem as though you're giving him free reins...to cheat on you as long as you don't find out. That way, even if he does cheat, he'll be very comfy with himself.

Thirdly, it just doesn't make sense at all. Be prepared for the worst, but don't concede to the worst.

Laido:
.

Yo .. Just jam this thread on NL about birthday mates. Been looking up and still haven't get my birthday match. What's your bday ?

sarahade:
if that is true the world will be a better place. only from love you can submit and submission and love is for both the Man and woman.
and as for 3some i don't have an issue with it. but behind ma back having all the fun laye laye. and jealousy is not attributed to women but it's human nature.

nma24:
Toks2008, I should expect my husband yo cheat, work and earn my own money and perform my marital duties... I wonder y u come across as a sexist. Anyway, we all pray for blissful Marriage

CrazyQuinn:
12th of Dec

galantjoe:
Op was very right in what he is saying. In human pschology there is stages of sexxual relationship. It mostly affected men.mid-life crises. Take it or leave it man will always cheat on their wife.
Op is not saying u should encourage one spouse to cheat. No. But couple should bear in mind that their patner might cheat so when it occur it will not have devastating effect on the mariage. Jealosy is crime and worse than murder. Avoid it. What an old man sees sitting down young man cant see even while standing up.