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30 Things Nollywood, Has Taught Us - TV/Movies (6) - Nairaland

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Re: 30 Things Nollywood, Has Taught Us by BrOwnSuga3: 3:06pm On Nov 27, 2009
I just finished watchin a movie titled

The Laptop

I bet the next one will be PS-2

1 Like

Re: 30 Things Nollywood, Has Taught Us by furacao(m): 3:26pm On Nov 27, 2009
at least it feeds a whole lot of families, they are not jobless neither do they spend all their precious time on NairaLand, they make a name for themselves and they feed their families without coming to you for help, who cares about what a few thinks? Noone, and beside, they dont have to run off to the white man's country wipping old people's butt, scrounging train stations or sweeping London streets.[quote][/quote]

wow. a brutally made point. Excellent. It's what counts in the end,
Re: 30 Things Nollywood, Has Taught Us by TPS360: 5:51pm On Nov 27, 2009
someone push the restart button, they all suck!
Re: 30 Things Nollywood, Has Taught Us by Nobody: 2:14am On Feb 01, 2010
smiley.
Re: 30 Things Nollywood, Has Taught Us by ochukoccna: 12:22pm On Feb 01, 2010
BrOwn*Suga:

I just finished watchin a movie titled
The Laptop
I bet the next one will be PS-2
grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Why not Dual Core?
grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Re: 30 Things Nollywood, Has Taught Us by slimghost(m): 12:19pm On Feb 02, 2010
1. Dat a single actor can star in up to 7 new movies in a week.
2. someone must be slapped after the "how dare you" exclamation.

1 Like

Re: 30 Things Nollywood, Has Taught Us by fedorahat: 12:43pm On Dec 20, 2018
The good old days of Nairaland

Lalasticlala Dominique please let this grace front page once more.

Thanks
Re: 30 Things Nollywood, Has Taught Us by igwefivestar(m): 3:48pm On Dec 20, 2018
Ebonyeyes:
Misinforming audiences comes with repercussions. Though the consequences in this case may not be grave, it should be addressed nonetheless.

Have you ever watched a Ghanaian or Nigerian movie without identifying  that::

1.  Kidney failure, Congestive Heart Failure, Bone fracture, Cancer, Asthma, STDs etc are all diagnosed by placing a stethoscope over a patient’s chest.

2.  When a couple can’t have a boy, it’s the woman’s fault

3.  Every problem you have is spiritual.

4.  In every romance movie, someone must die.

5.  It is possible to hit a person without actually touching them!

6.  Anyone who gets hit by a car dies immediately.

7.  Poisoned food always tastes better.

8.  The best way to make money is by visiting a Witchdoctor.

9.  At least one of a pair of twins (identical or not) is born evil.

10.  One has to scream from the very beginning of labor until the baby is delivered

11.  There is never an end to suffering, except death!

12.  With a pastor,  all things are possible

13.  A movie can be titled anything,  such as - The Boy is Mine, Two Rats,

14.  Spanner, Calculator, etc.

15.  . A movie has not been made if at least one actor/actress has not twisted his/her lips to speak wrong phonetics in an attempt to sound American/British.

16.   You are in love,  you want to take your girl out, the best place you take her to is,  Mr. Biggs, Tantalizers, the beach or the best - take her to buy some new ugly clothes.

An Igbo movie has not been made if,

    * One does not visit a Witchdoctor
    * A fleet of cars is not shown off
    * Kanayo 'O' Kanayo is not in the movie, alongside Pete Edochie wearing the usual red cap! To get rich it is mandatory you join a cult

A Twi movie has not been made if…

    * Kyeiwaa is not a witch
    * Agya Koo is not in the movie, alongside Nana Ama Mc Brown

17.   Gunshots and fireworks always sound the same!

18.  99% of the time, the title has absolutely nothing to do with the movie.

19.  A love story has not been produced if it does not have one or two of the following actresses;

    * Van Vicker
    * Ramsey Nouah
    * Stella Damasus-Aboderin
    * Stephanie Okereke
    * Nadia Buari
    * Genevieve Nnaji
    * Omotola Jolade-Ekeinde
    * Rita Dominic
    *  Jackie Appiah


20.  The Nigerian Police are extremely 'efficient' unlike their counterparts in real life,

21.  . An actress can wear the same hairdo for more than a year,

22.  It is permissible to wear very dark shades at night, indoors or out

23.  When you are shot in the chest, it really doesn't matter; your head will be bandaged! Same for your legs!

24.  When advertising a movie, you really should shout because,  people are deaf?

25.  When you are extremely poor, you will still be able to afford very good furniture and a T.V. set, but you won't be able to send your kids to school.

26.  All past scenes (flashbacks) are in black and white with distorted sound.

27.   Future scenes are always “ten or twenty years later”

28.   Everyone uses their party dresses and make up even when cooking in the kitchen or sleeping.

29.  All bullets hit the chest

30.  TO GOD BE THE GLORY

Given that these are simple and easily accessible facts, it irks beyond reason that script writers would not take the time out to verify or validate information provided in movies. Care to admit it or not, some audiences take this stuff literally. Producers should not expect viewers to take information they provide in their movies with a grain of salt.


Taken from www.bunibuni.com[b]
If this has been said before please let this thread die a horrible death
smiley
lol
Re: 30 Things Nollywood, Has Taught Us by Notatribalist(m): 3:55pm On Dec 20, 2018
Ebonyeyes:
Misinforming audiences comes with repercussions. Though the consequences in this case may not be grave, it should be addressed nonetheless.

Have you ever watched a Ghanaian or Nigerian movie without identifying  that::

1.  Kidney failure, Congestive Heart Failure, Bone fracture, Cancer, Asthma, STDs etc are all diagnosed by placing a stethoscope over a patient’s chest.

2.  When a couple can’t have a boy, it’s the woman’s fault

3.  Every problem you have is spiritual.

4.  In every romance movie, someone must die.

5.  It is possible to hit a person without actually touching them!

6.  Anyone who gets hit by a car dies immediately.

7.  Poisoned food always tastes better.

8.  The best way to make money is by visiting a Witchdoctor.

9.  At least one of a pair of twins (identical or not) is born evil.

10.  One has to scream from the very beginning of labor until the baby is delivered

11.  There is never an end to suffering, except death!

12.  With a pastor,  all things are possible

13.  A movie can be titled anything,  such as - The Boy is Mine, Two Rats,

14.  Spanner, Calculator, etc.

15.  . A movie has not been made if at least one actor/actress has not twisted his/her lips to speak wrong phonetics in an attempt to sound American/British.

16.   You are in love,  you want to take your girl out, the best place you take her to is,  Mr. Biggs, Tantalizers, the beach or the best - take her to buy some new ugly clothes.

An Igbo movie has not been made if,

    * One does not visit a Witchdoctor
    * A fleet of cars is not shown off
    * Kanayo 'O' Kanayo is not in the movie, alongside Pete Edochie wearing the usual red cap! To get rich it is mandatory you join a cult

A Twi movie has not been made if…

    * Kyeiwaa is not a witch
    * Agya Koo is not in the movie, alongside Nana Ama Mc Brown

17.   Gunshots and fireworks always sound the same!

18.  99% of the time, the title has absolutely nothing to do with the movie.

19.  A love story has not been produced if it does not have one or two of the following actresses;

    * Van Vicker
    * Ramsey Nouah
    * Stella Damasus-Aboderin
    * Stephanie Okereke
    * Nadia Buari
    * Genevieve Nnaji
    * Omotola Jolade-Ekeinde
    * Rita Dominic
    *  Jackie Appiah


20.  The Nigerian Police are extremely 'efficient' unlike their counterparts in real life,

21.  . An actress can wear the same hairdo for more than a year,

22.  It is permissible to wear very dark shades at night, indoors or out

23.  When you are shot in the chest, it really doesn't matter; your head will be bandaged! Same for your legs!

24.  When advertising a movie, you really should shout because,  people are deaf?

25.  When you are extremely poor, you will still be able to afford very good furniture and a T.V. set, but you won't be able to send your kids to school.

26.  All past scenes (flashbacks) are in black and white with distorted sound.

27.   Future scenes are always “ten or twenty years later”

28.   Everyone uses their party dresses and make up even when cooking in the kitchen or sleeping.

29.  All bullets hit the chest

30.  TO GOD BE THE GLORY

Given that these are simple and easily accessible facts, it irks beyond reason that script writers would not take the time out to verify or validate information provided in movies. Care to admit it or not, some audiences take this stuff literally. Producers should not expect viewers to take information they provide in their movies with a grain of salt.


Taken from www.bunibuni.com[b]
If this has been said before please let this thread die a horrible death
smiley
such a negative human being.. You only figure out the flaws.nonsense
Re: 30 Things Nollywood, Has Taught Us by Nobody: 3:56pm On Dec 20, 2018
fedorahat:
The good old days of Nairaland
Lalasticlala Dominique please let this grace front page once more.
Thanks
Ur request has bn honoured (lolz), fp tinz... kudos 2 d moderators

1 Like

Re: 30 Things Nollywood, Has Taught Us by Ugosample(m): 3:56pm On Dec 20, 2018
a 2009 thread on FP
wonderful!

2 Likes

Re: 30 Things Nollywood, Has Taught Us by Ugosample(m): 3:57pm On Dec 20, 2018
fedorahat:
The good old days of Nairaland
Lalasticlala Dominique please let this grace front page once more.
Thanks
was it ever on FP be ?
Re: 30 Things Nollywood, Has Taught Us by Nobody: 4:00pm On Dec 20, 2018
Notatribalist:
such a negative human being.. You only figure out the flaws.nonsense
Re: 30 Things Nollywood, Has Taught Us by Nobody: 4:11pm On Dec 20, 2018
Inspite of the stereotype and criticism op try to pain the movie industry it is still waxing stronger in the African continent and beyond borders. You will never see Nigerians although not all criticize foreign movies even if there are many faults in it. It is rare to see many of them do that on this platform. Give them script to write you would see many still making the same mistake they had criticized. The day we think beyond this inferiority complex and do our thing ourselves the better for us all. Our movie should portray what happens in our society.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: 30 Things Nollywood, Has Taught Us by Luthercboi709(m): 4:15pm On Dec 20, 2018
A movie firm needs a production manager (female) urgently with working experience

Hit them up via @07015421422 (whatsapp)
Pay well
Re: 30 Things Nollywood, Has Taught Us by fedorahat: 4:16pm On Dec 20, 2018
sherylbakky:

Ur request has bn honoured (lolz), fp tinz... kudos 2 d moderators

waow i feel honoured

lalasticlala dominique and any mod who granted my request.
may it rain likes on you wherever you are.

2 Likes

Re: 30 Things Nollywood, Has Taught Us by sifon1: 4:25pm On Dec 20, 2018
7 Life Lessons Everyone Should Learn Before Graduation
Just as student life is challenging and difficult, there are life lessons that every person should learn in other to succeed after school. You may be getting support from your family members that moment you are in school, but everything changes the moment they realize that you are grown and ready to handle responsibilities by yourself.

Success comes to people that are ready to be successful, so you need to choose your path and what you want in life and chase your dreams. There is more to life after graduation, and that is the real essence of this write-up, carefully crafted to give you an insight of what you have to know about life.

1. Life Is Expensive
As a student you are probably surviving on the allowance you receive from your parents right now and you have realized that life can be expensive.

Sure life is expensive, just wait until you have to live on your own without any more support from anybody.

You will really get to know this during your service year or when you are through with NYSC.
READ MORE http://syphonnglobal.com/7-life-lessons-everyone-should-learn-before-graduation/

1 Like

Re: 30 Things Nollywood, Has Taught Us by bleskid: 4:27pm On Dec 20, 2018
this girl ma nawaooo... u go just sit down with confident de type sense ..... na truth grin
Re: 30 Things Nollywood, Has Taught Us by Solomon21746: 4:27pm On Dec 20, 2018
[b][/b]
Re: 30 Things Nollywood, Has Taught Us by HallaDaTruth: 4:28pm On Dec 20, 2018
what about yoruba movies . all their mama actress are still acting students role e.g fathia balogun, bukky wright . yoruba movies must have incantations with real life native doctor playing the role . yoruba movies have the worst subtitles . may i continue ?

1 Like

Re: 30 Things Nollywood, Has Taught Us by sifon1: 4:31pm On Dec 20, 2018
BrOwnSuga3:
I just finished watchin a movie titled

The Laptop

I bet the next one will be PS-2
LOL
Re: 30 Things Nollywood, Has Taught Us by olympianares: 4:31pm On Dec 20, 2018
Hollywood thrives on criticism and ratings,that's why its the biggest and the best...
Re: 30 Things Nollywood, Has Taught Us by NotBeenPaid: 4:32pm On Dec 20, 2018





This thread almost died an unnatural dead after 10years.




1 Like

Re: 30 Things Nollywood, Has Taught Us by sholay2011(m): 4:33pm On Dec 20, 2018
This wasn't funny.
Re: 30 Things Nollywood, Has Taught Us by nijabazaar: 4:35pm On Dec 20, 2018
What year is this again? 2018??
Re: 30 Things Nollywood, Has Taught Us by Jforce123: 4:35pm On Dec 20, 2018
One immediately lives in a duplex and drives expensive car once he starts working in a company.

In most cases, the reality is totally different.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: 30 Things Nollywood, Has Taught Us by Jforce123: 4:38pm On Dec 20, 2018
HallaDaTruth:
what about yoruba movies . all their mama actress are still acting students role e.g fathia balogun, bukky wright . yoruba movies must have incantations with real life native doctor playing the role . yoruba movies have the worst subtitles . may i continue ?
In Yoruba movie, medical doctor will grieve with the bereaved and will even advise patient's family to seek traditional solution. grin

3 Likes

Re: 30 Things Nollywood, Has Taught Us by bookishme: 4:44pm On Dec 20, 2018
Only in nollywood- A boy/girl from a very rich background falls in love with a poor girl/boy

1 Like

Re: 30 Things Nollywood, Has Taught Us by Nobody: 4:50pm On Dec 20, 2018
Some movies are okay? Others....they make me literally feel my nuts loosening in my brain, I feel this sudden impatience till I change the channel. Then I feel smart again.

Thank goodness.
Re: 30 Things Nollywood, Has Taught Us by mrobifred: 5:16pm On Dec 20, 2018
Congrats to all my subscriber this week , we keep winning , DM to be part of the winnings, Xmas Grove so such .

Re: 30 Things Nollywood, Has Taught Us by MJBOLT: 5:38pm On Dec 20, 2018
31.money ritual is real
32.any girl who vomits is pregnant

1 Like

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