Onegai:
Sanchez01 there's food in the house, she's fighting her mum and came here to drop that line and the other line about Suicide. If we give her a bottle of Sniper, she ain't drinking it.

Thorpido, thanks for this. But what do they mean, "follow any stranger anywhere"?

thorpido:
@first bolded,she's frustrated.She cried all the while I was there.

@second bolded,I'm too sure about this.She's having a frosty relationship with the mum.The mother is actually threatening to send her out.

MizMyColi:


Amen o
Amen
I'm strong.

Onegai:
Thorpido, please does she have that weird pregnancy sickness that Kate Middleton has?

Onegai:


I actually thought sending her out would be a good idea but she would stvpidly jump into the arms of another bad guy or simply take up solicitation. She is like all those Black American girls called Shanaynae or Lakeisha. What about Gele tying, she can earn a decent income from it every Thursday to Saturday, all she needs is a chair, an umbrella and pins and she can pitch her tent at every open field there's a party going on in.

So they don't want to feed her and her son?

Sanchez01:

Did she confirm the food part? How did you find out, please? I was thinking her major problem is feeding the child at hand and herself. The suicide part, I know she wouldn't even try.


I think this is a result of her past. Perhaps her neighbours know she is in the habit of having people coming to pick her from the house before it got to this point. This goes on to prove that it's a pretty messy situation for neighbours to call her mother that she was going out with a 'stranger'.


Just stay strong. Empathy is only natural at this point. Jaybee3 made some valid points. Focusing on a way to taking out the underlying problem is paramount right now.

Mindfulness:


You can never uplift a person if you allow their plight to put you down. You can't get sick enough to help people heal and you can't get poor enough to make poor people rich so make sure you stay positive, only then you have something to give.

This is where 5minsmadness got me wrong. He thought that being selfish means forgetting others and not helping them but it only means that you have to take care of yourself FIRST and feel good so that you have something to share.

If someone's situation upsets you and makes you feel down, take your attention from it 'cause you are not helping. Re-energize and come back when you feel strong and good again.

ifyalways:
@Thorpido, there's definitely food in the house. Her mother is angry with her and she is too proud to apologize or maybe she is even doing inyanga for the mom ie revolting like a baby that she unfortunately is by refusing to eat.

I think she needs to first apologize to her mother. Then we can also come in and help resolve whatever lingering issues she has with her mom. She must be made to understand that she must respect,obey, help and listen to her mother so long as she lives with her. Once that is settled then we can talk about getting her external help like counselling. If at all help in the form of setting her up for business should be rendered, I'm of the opinion that it should be AFTER delivery and she has shown considerable progress in her behavioral pattern and life decisions but methinks its best she works and earn money herself for setting up whatever business she wants. That is the first step in taking responsibility for ones life.

I can send you the money to register her for ante natal. To you directly and strictly for her ante natals.

ifyalways:
@Thorpido, there's definitely food in the house. Her mother is angry with her and she is too proud to apologize or maybe she is even doing inyanga for the mom ie revolting like a baby that she unfortunately is by refusing to eat.

I think she needs to first apologize to her mother. Then we can also come in and help resolve whatever lingering issues she has with her mom. She must be made to understand that she must respect,obey, help and listen to her mother so long as she lives with her. Once that is settled then we can talk about getting her external help like counselling. If at all help in the form of setting her up for business should be rendered, I'm of the opinion that it should be AFTER delivery and she has shown considerable progress in her behavioral pattern and life decisions but methinks its best she works and earn money herself for setting up whatever business she wants. That is the first step in taking responsibility for ones life.

I can send you the money to register her for ante natal. To you directly and strictly for her ante natals.

Mynd44:


It is weird you think getting money for ante natals is a problem because I can bet that if she sorts her issues out, her mum will bear it. The issue is that the nother is tired of her attitude.

Her mum actually abandoned her in SA the first time because her wahala was almost killing her. She needs to change. If no one is allowingvher leave, maybe it is cos they know she gets up to no good.

Has anyone asked if she is into drugs? With the 24 hour watch, I wont be surprised

thorpido:
I agree with all you have written.It's the best for her situation.
I want to see the mum tomorrow morning and hopefully when I get to talk to her,we all can know what the next step will be.

One thing I picked from the conversation in her house is that the mum wants her to stay with the man that got her pregnant but she doesn't want the relationship any longer.

MizMyColi:


I wish she will be more receptive to adopting the hustling spirit.

ifyalways:

You are right.

The mom actually hired a nanny for her , that's something my mom will NOT do for me sef considering shes not working nor married. What does she need a nanny for and what does she do with her 24 hours each day?

Drugs ? Hmmmn

ifyalways:

What are her reasons?

Please when you can, meet with the mom so we can know the real truth.

Onegai:
Go and drop the toddler at Nigerian Red Cross Motherless Babies Home, it's close to Adekunle, Makoko, off Herbert Macauley road, Yaba. It costs N1,000 to open an account with most banks, I'm sure if you could find N200 recharge card to browse with for your phone, you can get one. Surprised you went to SA and came back without ever having a bank account.

Hmmmmm

tearoses:

Dyt, You have really tried. I believe you lost some money and I have verified you. Don't mind those people who don't believe you.

I will send you $450 instead of the $45 you requested.

Send a N1,500 MTM recharge card to me, so I can call you with the western union code you need to pick up the money from Western Union.

TV01:
I also recall OPs other post about her misadventure in SA. And, I don’t actually consider this to be a charitable case. She has a place to stay, and a wider family who she is with and posses some means.

But that’s me, I’m in no way seeking to inform what other people decide to do or not do in this case. The reason I’m here is because of the, without mincing words, nauseating way some of you think you can take dictate to this woman just because you may render some assistance.

What gives you the right to control her fertility, mandate she gives her child up for adoption, or forcefully has an abortion. Who died and didn’t rise again and made any of you God? Can you even hear yourselves?

She should marry a “mature man” and relocate to Ibadan? Is this farce? And then when she acts out the destructive behaviours and the marriage is strained or potentially fails, you’ll prescribe “7 day, 4 step program to winning back your wife”?

I mean a liability is one thing, but a loose canon, something else entirely. Have you thought of lining up the “mature men” amongst your own kinfolk?

I guess the US coercing African countries to adopt “progressive gay-rights policies via aid and diplomatic pressure, is a good thing then?
Who made you arbiters?

If a man or group of men sat down to make decisions around womens reproduction based on criteria they considered suitable, you’d all be up in arms, yet here you are, crowing over a woman in a mes, even if it's self-inflicted?

What objective measures make you think you can mandate the measures you’ve forcefully presenting? Yet when we present no sex before marriage and intact biological homes, you rail against it and scream people are trying to impose their beliefs.

And you have all but judged her to nothingness. Yes she has, speaking delicately, been wayward and done things beyond the pale for most people, but that accords you no rights over her, or makes your anger righteous.

Neither does rendering assistance if you freely choose to do so. Be that financial or life mentoring. And Onegai, reading one or two of your post would actually suggest you may have an ulterior motive.


TV

egbaguy2:
Drama everywhere..... I m so following this. @dyt how re u

Mynd44:

True, anyone who thinks the solution is money is unrealistic as her mother is able to provide it………hello, she got her a nanny………she needs to change and realize it is time to grow up

Dyt:


Not fine
I need money

Dyt:


Not fine
I need money

Mindfulness:


You can never uplift a person if you allow their plight to put you down. You can't get sick enough to help people heal and you can't get poor enough to make poor people rich so make sure you stay positive, only then you have something to give.

This is where 5minsmadness got me wrong. He thought that being selfish means forgetting others and not helping them but it only means that you have to take care of yourself FIRST and feel good so that you have something to share.

If someone's situation upsets you and makes you feel down, take your attention from it 'cause you are not helping. Re-energize and come back when you feel strong and good again.

tearoses:
Onegai why Ibadan?
Behave yourself o!

Funjosh:




Please be fine

An0nimus:

plis snd me the Richard Card. let me subscribes for glo brwsin
.

thorpido:
Update

I've been to her house.I saw a young lady in distress.She's pregnant and ill(just first trimester blues).
She obviously has marital(unmarital actually) issues with the man she's pregnant for now-he's physically abusive too cos she showed me a mark on her body.
She also has issues with her mum.Her mum has been the one taking care of her but seems she's fed up with her and they are not getting along now.
I can confirm she was in SA(couldn't see her passport with the visa because she said she misplaced it) but I saw other documents.She was repatriated.she has a son that was born in SA.

Like some of you here feel,I saw a lady who obviously has a disjointed life.Poor choices and and an inability to put things right in her life.She will need long term counselling like some of you suggested.
However,I can confirm she needs money now.She presently attends an unorthodox
Maternity clinic.
I could get her out of the house because I met some people there who said she just going go with a stranger.Her mum called too while there and said they shouldn't let her out with anyone.I plan to meet with the mum tomorrow.

If anyone wants to see documents I could send pictures to you.
Cc: Onegai,Funjosh,Ifyalways,Jaybee3,Peakabeu1,Mizmycoli,Mindfulness