₦airaland Forum

winningwinner:
Thanks dear. Sometimes I wonder why people get married in the first place. They share "all things in common" only when the man is ready to bleed himself dry, but the woman cannot bring out hers. What then is the reason for her working? Most men will practically stop their wives from any form of work to keep the home for them. Others allow their wives to work but now see what they get. Anyway, I din't have much to say but it is very bad of any woman to use her hands scatter her own home. They can initiate quarrel, run their mouth anyhow and even be the first to raise a hand against the man. When the man cooperates, they will still be the ones to call press conference shouting ABUSE!
One told the husband that things are getting tougher for only him to carry the weight of the family's needs that she should be allowed to pick up a paid employment. Because the man wants the wife to be happy abd feel belonged, he allowed it. Some years later, the woman was still lamenting. She will practically force the man to keep vigils at night praying anytime her salary delays. The last thing she does is telling the man when the salary is paid.
The reason for taking employment is defeated. The man called and told her to quit her job and join him in his business but she refused and left the man's house.
Most women today want to be referred to as "a once married" woman. They love freedom to the extreme! I wonder why people take almost every word some of these women speak to be true. I don't give them support any more. Research has shown that 80% of marriages today have women who maltreat their men. Average men are shy in nature and would not like to go public with family issues. Only shameless women do!

FortuneTeller:
Under no circumstances would I advise any woman to giver her husband her whole paycheck. That would be very foolish considering how our men are. You will be funding the new woman's lifestyle while wondering how low you can bend to satisfy your husband.

HungerBAD:
Interesting.

It is important to note that every family is different,and so one can not authoritatively say this is how it should be.

There are husbands that beat their wives up,others don't. There are husbands that cook at home,and others will not go near the kitchen,and there are husbands that will demand to know how much their wives earn and others won't.

The truth is,if a man is doing well in life,he will be less concerned with what the woman makes,even if she is the President of a Nation.

delishpot:
Hahaha, Did God talk to you personally or someone said God said?
On the last day, God will flog many people for writing rubbish in his name.

Lovechyld101:
I beg to differ there is only one difinition of feminism.
Dictionary.com : noun: the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.

wikipidia: Feminism is a range of political movements, ideologies, and social movements that share a common goal: to define, establish, and achieve political, economic, personal, and social rights for women that are equal to of men.

Farmerforlife:
You are living in drramland. Dont let your anti Islam bias make you ignorant. In Islam, the woman's income belongs exclusively to her, while the husband (or father/ brother etc if she is unmarried) is obliged to spend on her. This is enforceable by the Sharia, and what obtains in Muslim majority countries, even in the North. It is why Muslim women often do not feel the need to find a job.

carmag:
so you can start bashing people anyhow..ehh

Talk2Bella:
are u a feminist?

we believe in equal responsibilities

HungerBAD:
Interesting.

It is important to note that every family is different,and so one can not authoritatively say this is how it should be.

There are husbands that beat their wives up,others don't. There are husbands that cook at home,and others will not go near the kitchen,and there are husbands that will demand to know how much their wives earn and others won't.

The truth is,if a man is doing well in life,he will be less concerned with what the woman makes,even if she is the President of a Nation.

MrBLING:
Hahaha.
Comedy gold.
On your penultimate post you called these countries barbaric now they are the best after sliced bread!
Confused.com.

Edoblakky:
When I was in Nigeria working, I never looked to my wife's salary even though I know she earns so much. I provide for my home in everything. We have a joint account which I fund fully. Though I'm out of the country schooling, I make sure my home lacks nothing. I don't understand why husbands who are expected to cater for their homes would be after their wives' salary. Don't start a home if you are not ready to cater for it fully.
My wife has helped to pay for the rent once and when I tried paying back, she told me it's our home. Men should plan taking care of the home 100%, whatever the wife brings is bonus.

carmag:
if you didn't believe what is written and how about the way nature designed our different roles as genders stronger and weaker vessels


another case study is why do you have to change your father's name to that of a total stranger,

why do you move out of your father's house to cohabit with a stranger and now become one of the members of his families while your own family can comfortably take care of you,

why are men required to pay a bride price to have you handed over to him instead of the two parties that found love to each other
to meet each other half ways


while trying to navigate on this questions remember that some other people are watching your mago mago

prettythicksme:
God forbid i tender my salary to any man,am i mad?

I trust my guy sha,he dare not ask me to do dat.My salary is like 1naira in his eyes.

Phonefanatic:
Joint account is a must 60% of Salary from both sides goes in there which will be used to run the family this doesn't stop the man from doing most things as a man and shouldn't stop the woman from buying those Littles things.

Some partners can be reckless with spending some buy what they really don't need.
My wife should know what I'm spending on. I've seen women from demanding homes in fact Mother-in-law can coarse her daughter to drain a man's pocket likewise bad friends. Some can go buying clothes they don't need on credit.

I will all always provide for my woman but that shouldn't stop me from knowing what she spends on.

CoCoLav:
I agree with the bolded

Talk2Bella:
since you're quoting from Wikipedia did you forget to add this also

Numerous feminist movements and ideologies have developed over the years and represent different viewpoints and aims. Some forms of feminism have been criticized for taking into account only white, middle class, and educated perspectives. This criticism led to the creation of ethnically specific or multicultural forms of feminism, including black feminism and intersectional feminism.[

delishpot:
Most of those are cultural practices. Not religious. In some cultures women offer dowry to the mans family, in some women are the heads, in some women can marry more than 1 man, in some women are not expected to change their names. All those are not religious practices. Just culrtural. Can you swear God said any of those things exactly as they were written?. Swear on your success.
Besides, what Mago Mago are we talking about here?

Farmerforlife:
Yes, I do think you are confused. I never called any country barbaric.

sonnie10:
I know a couple that the wife drives an RX350 and the husband drives a 1999 Camry. Every time, they are the subject of gossip in the neighborhood. The man has been so humiliated and ridiculed by strangers to the point that some even say it to his face. One is forced to asked if it is the man's fault that he is a secondary school teachers and the wife, straight out of school got a job as a banker?

The man is doing his best, providing for the family not minding the wife's pay check. But for the fact that they are husband and wife, the situation has brought untold emotional suffering and embarrassment to him. Several times, he had seek other jobs but they were not forthcoming. Should he be angry over his wife's progress? definitely no.

Many have suggested that he should continue as if all is well, and who knows? things might changes for the better someday.

eyinjuege:
But is the ridicule from his wife or strangers? If it's from strangers, that's their business.
There are men who are the major providers in their homes and their wives still drive the nicer car. Some even have only one car and gave that to their wives while they trek and enter public transport.
People should learn to mind their business.
If a banker drives a jeep to work, nothing bad in it. If she decides to give her husband the jeep, that's still OK, but the nosy neighbors will still point out he's driving his wife's car since they know the salary of a school teacher cannot afford such.
Even his old Camry sef, they would even say she contributed in buying that for him.
You can never please the world.

Phonefanatic:
I know you will I hope you will allow him know what you are spending on too

jjagz:
I hope this does not degenerate into senseless bantering. But I beg to differ.

It is not the place of anyone, man or woman to allow another person, man or woman to work. Married or not, it is the right of everybody to gainful fulfilling employment. And it is not one's right to demand to know the amount or time of payment of another persons salary even if they are married.

Now, in the OPs case, there is no magic wand, marriage depends on understanding. Both her mother and step mothers argument are flawed. The mother argues that if he knows her salary, he would not do "what a father should do", that premise is wrong because the family is the responsibility of both. The husband is not helping the wife, the wife is not helping the husband, it is both their jobs. Naturally who earns more should contribute more and not who had a longer erectile genital.

The step-father on the other hand wants to know because "she earns more than him anyway". While it is better for couples to know their income, it is the ladies Right to not want to disclose her pay to anyone, husband or not. He seems to want to know out of insecurity not for reasons of planning the family expenses and all.

But who I'm I? I've never been married. These are just the thoughts of one trying to make the world a better place for all, irregardless of genitals.

ItsQuinn:
Well mister, not everybody believe in the bible(crap) ...how else can you prove your point without quoting the bible?