My bae just chatted me up asking if i trust her and love her, i told her yes. She went ahead to tell me that she has someone else shes dating, and the guy is showing some commitment lately And that she would like to stop if i can pledge to her that i wont leave her, i was like wtf. I asked her why should she engage in such cos shes not lacking financially and she says nothing? I told her i cannot promise her that cos anything can happen. Is dumping her a good step to take cos i think she love me despite being unfaithful, she has supported me morally and financially too. Shes a good cook and have wifey materials trait in her.
Guys pls advice me?

My man let no woman issue worry you for this recession period at all, u hear me?


That girl no love you cus if she does she wil not cheat on you by dating someone else, just chop and clean mouth and dumb her asap.

---

---

---

---

hmmmmmm she is a good girl, she explicitly told you what's going on, what advice do you want its your call.

She wants to get married bro. Marry her if you can or leave her now if you can't. It is not cheating, she is playing safe.

Gething married at a time you feel is good and raising a good home is better than all this love and dating stuff.

She is a very honest girl. Never leave her

Godswillnwaoma:
My man let no woman issue worry you for this recession period at all, u hear me?


That girl no love you cus if she does she wil not cheat on you by dating someone else, just chop and clean mouth and dumb her asap.

from the story does it sounds like he is a Playboy? this conundrum is about commitment and its the op's discretion on the table.

falconey:
hmmmmmm she is a good girl, she explicitly told you what's going on, what advice do you want its your call.

Double dating and such manipulative tactics are no qualities of a good girl.

CorGier:


Double dating and such manipulative tactics are no qualities of a good girl.

double dating? manipulative tactics? ladies can't date for so long like we can, at some point they'd want a serious guy who is ready to commit and tie the knot. apparently the op isn't and his counterpart is, however, he may probably be the first choice but if he is not going to commit he will lose his place and the girl.

there is no manipulation here, from op's epistle,she told him unequivocally her predicament, op should take the offer or reject if he is not planning a future with her.

Women's is like a water without food....women's speech is like a light without fire.never you trust any lady both your sweet heart and your mommy because learning and reading comes from the bloopers

falconey:


double dating? manipulative tactics? ladies can't date for so long like we can, at some point they'd want a serious guy who is ready to commit and tie the knot. apparent the op isn't and his counterpart is, however, he may probably be the first choice but if he is not going to commit he will lose his place and the girl.

there is no manipulation here, from op's epistle,she told him unequivocally her predicament, op should take the offer or reject it but if he is not planning a future with her he should let her go.

Falconey, pause for a minute and digest this again.

And that she would like to stop if i can pledge to her that i wont leave her, i was like wtf.

If you can't see wat she's trying to do right there, then sorry.

CorGier:



Falconey, pause for a minute and digest this again.

And that she would like to stop if i can pledge to her that i wont leave her, i was like wtf.

If you can't see wat she's trying to do right there, then sorry.

you can easily deduce from that she is being manipulative but cant assume she was trying to secure a future.

perhaps we both need more info about this lady, e.g her age, appearance, class etc

falconey:


you can easily deduce from that she is being manipulative but cant assume she was trying to secure a future.

perhaps we both need more info about this lady, e.g her age, appearance, class etc

That one quote alone tells a lot about her kind of person.
He better dumps her ASAP.

Godswillnwaoma:
My man let no woman issue worry you for this recession period at all, u hear me?


That girl no love you cus if she does she wil not cheat on you by dating someone else, just chop and clean mouth and dumb her asap.

well done

falconey:


you can easily deduce from that she is being manipulative but cant assume she was trying to secure a future.

perhaps we both need more info about this lady, e.g her age, appearance, class etc

shes pretty and a lil curvy, shes a year older and she respect me a lot. Shes an independent lady. Shes not lacking anything. She even gave the key to her apartment.

hey bro. that lady has got nobody. she's just trying to know ur seriousness level. to know if u can be trusted or not...

horlahwaley:
shes pretty and a lil curvy, shes a year older and she respect me a lot. Shes an independent lady. Shes not lacking anything. She even gave the key to her apartment.

corgier with this tell me she is not ready?

falconey:


corgier with this tell me she is not ready?

She seems to be.
I am just not in support of her mode of approach.

horlahwaley:
My bae just chatted me up asking if i trust her and love her, i told her yes. She went ahead to tell me that she has someone else shes dating, and the guy is showing some commitment lately And that she would like to stop if i can pledge to her that i wont leave her, i was like wtf. I asked her why should she engage in such cos shes not lacking financially and she says nothing? I told her i cannot promise her that cos anything can happen. Is dumping her a good step to take cos i think she love me despite being unfaithful, she has supported me morally and financially too. Shes a good cook and have wifey materials trait in her.
Guys pls advice me?

once a cheat, always a cheat. Dump her for someone more faithful.

mployer:
She wants to get married bro. Marry her if you can or leave her now if you can't. It is not cheating, she is playing safe.

Gething married at a time you feel is good and raising a good home is better than all this love and dating stuff.

Quite matured response. Most girls with good head on their shoulder will go with anyone who shows much more commitment than who they are dating. The guy is not ready to marry now and it is very obvious from his post.

Na dere him go dey when another man will come and marry the girl. Some guys have lost a chance with a good girl who truly love them because they didn't want to go beyond the dating stage and girls do not have much time time on their hands, except the girl in question is as stupid as the 32 year old lady whom someone wanted to marry but the idiot was still holding to an unknown relationship with " it looks like it is working", tied by someone like the OP, with hope but no engagement or introduction.

olagbemi118:
once a cheat, always a cheat. Dump her for someone more faithful.

did you bother to ask the OP what his age is or the girl? She is being wise. Put your sister in the girl's shoes and tell me if you would want her to be tied down by a guy who has not ever given her signs of where her relationship is heading? Do you know the thousands of girls being tied down by guys like the OP? Even if it is just 300-500k he can raise, let him go do formal presentation in the girl's family before you start talking about a cheat.

Can't you see you are not dealing with teenagers but two grown adults as this scenarios shows?

I would advice you dump her and move on, she had the chance to tell you about it before dating the other guy, why would you even double date, if your partner aint serious break up and move on,no one would kill you instead of double or tripple dating.....my 2 cents

CorGier:


Double dating and such manipulative tactics are no qualities of a good girl.

God bless U

CorGier:


That one quote alone tells a lot about her kind of person.
He better dumps her ASAP.

You are just being selfish. That is why I asked you if you will like to see your sister in such position where she does not know where her relationship is going and suitors are coming around? You are being selfish and myopic in your views. Open your mind and attack this issue critically like falconey has done.

PEACE!

lazeal:
Quite matured response. Most girls with good head on their shoulder will go with anyone who shows much more commitment than who they are dating. The guy is not ready to marry now and it is very obvious from his post.

Na dere him go dey when another man will come and marry the girl. Some guys have lost a chance with a good girl who truly love them because they didn't want to go beyond the dating stage and girls do not have much time time on their hands, except the girl in question is as stupid as the 32 year old lady whom someone wanted to marry but the idiot was still holding to an unknown relationship with " it looks like it is working", tied by someone like the OP, with hope but no engagement or introduction.

not really bro, we have discussed about marriage issue before, she told me shes not ready yet(i asked her indirectly though)And i think i am committed enough, she knows everything about me, my family and i know her quite well. She just brought this up.

CorGier:



Falconey, pause for a minute and digest this again.

And that she would like to stop if i can pledge to her that i wont leave her, i was like wtf.

If you can't see wat she's trying to do right there, then sorry.

My ex gave me that same lame line
If you want me to stop seeing other people propose or make a commitment
I walked

horlahwaley:
not really bro, we have discussed about marriage issue before, she told me shes not ready yet(i asked her indirectly though)And i think i am committed enough, she knows everything about me, my family and i know her quite well. She just brought this up.

Bros, that one na story. ACTION speaks louder than words. If you mean it, go see her family in formal settings IF you know she is REALLY worth it. She is already having double mind and she might slip soon if you do not act now.

You do not know how girls reason o, especially when they have reach the marriageable age. It appear you guys have been dating for long based on what you have said here. Look, do not be afraid. You can do it, do not be afraid, except the money isn't available which I believe with careful planning and savings by both party can be achieved.

However, if your mind no carry am, just let her go because you wouldn't want your sister in similar situation.

The 32 year old I talked about is even someone I still wonder if she is mentally alright cos from what I learned, she didn't have a good relationship during NYSC and someone from that service year offered himself cos he really valued and like her, which she still rejected. After that NYSC, she told the guy who really liked her she has someone back home (different from the one she dated during NYSC and who wasted her time), till date, over 2 years, nothing has happened. No introduction, no engagement... and of cause no sign of marriage aside HOPE or how do you explain this words of hers :"I have someone and IT LOOKS LIKE IT IS WORKING" Those were her words few months back cos the guy still waited for 2 more years for her.

All she has is just HOPE... hoping on to someone who might probably not marry her cos she does not know how to make choices.

Forget o. Any person wey see better food go chop am. Na market and products are opened to interested person, whether first or last buyer. your call bro.

I am currently in a similar position with a girl. She told me she is in a relationship BUT she still opened channel for communication with me. WHY? She is opening up options. Sometimes, she buzz me if i do not initiate convo for long. Guess what? i LIKE her. If I see how things go, my brother, I go pay the price ASAP. I have hinted already. It happens.

I know a man who got married to his wife and they stayed in an uncompleted building together but today they have their own house and school within 6 years.

lazeal:
Bros, that one na story. ACTION speaks louder than words. If you mean it, go see her family in formal settings IF you know she is REALLY worth it. She is already having double mind and she might slip soon if you do not act now.

You do not know how girls reason o, especially when they have reach the marriageable age. It appear you guys have been dating for long based on what you have said here. Look, do not be afraid. You can do it, do not be afraid, except the money isn't available which I believe with careful planning and savings by both party can be achieved.

However, if your mind no carry am, just let her go because you wouldn't want your sister in similar situation.

The 32 year old I talked about is even someone I still wonder if she is mentally alright cos from what I learned, she didn't have a good relationship during NYSC and someone from that service year offered himself cos he really valued and like her, which she still rejected. After that NYSC, she told the guy who really liked her she has someone back home (different from the one she dated during NYSC and who wasted her time), till date, over 2 years, nothing has happened. No introduction, no engagement... and of cause no sign of marriage aside HOPE or how do you explain this words of hers :"I have someone and IT LOOKS LIKE IT IS WORKING" Those were her words few months back cos the guy still waited for 2 more years for her.

All she has is just HOPE... hoping on to someone who might probably not marry her cos she does not know how to make choices.

Forget o. Any person wey see better food go chop am. Na market and products are opened to interested person, whether first or last buyer. your call bro.

I am currently in a similar position with a girl. She told me she is in a relationship BUT she still opened channel for communication with me. WHY? She is opening up options. Sometimes, she buzz me if i do not initiate convo for long. Guess what? i LIKE her. If I see how things go, my brother, I go pay the price ASAP. I have hinted already. It happens.

I know a man who got married to his wife and they stayed in an uncompleted building together but today they have their own house and school within 6 years.

i have a question sir, would you advice a lady to marry someone she does not love all in the name of i have to marry

kkash:


i have a question sir, would you advice a lady to marry someone she does not love all in the name of i have to marry

not really. Let me also ask u also. Is LOVE enough for any relationship? I await your reply as well.


P.S: if ur question is based on the 32 year old lady, then u do not know who she is. That girl does not know what is good for her. She complained but when someone offered, she declined, even after she subtly made him do it.

Secondly, she is the type that "thinks what people will say" if she dated 2 corper. She is very is the type that stays in an unhappy relationship that does not favour her. So many things are wrong with her reasoning when it comes to relationship.

Babzilla:

My ex gave me that same lame line
If you want me to stop seeing other people propose or make a commitment
I walked

Good for you.
No guy should be pressurized into marriage or making a commitment by some lady. Take your time. Marriage is a huge life's decision.
If she feels you're replaceable then to hell with her and her "basket of options", show her she's just as expendable.
If she's incapable of putting all her eggs in your basket, show her the door. You're the price, not her.

lazeal:
not really. Let me also ask u also. Is LOVE enough for any relationship? I await your reply as well.


P.S: if ur question is based on the 32 year old lady, then u do not know who she is. That girl does not know what is good for her. She complained but when someone offered, she declined, even after she subtly made him do it.

Secondly, she is the type that "thinks what people will say" if she dated 2 corper. She is very is the type that stays in an unhappy relationship that does not favour her. So many things are wrong with her reasoning when it comes to relationship.

to your question.....not really....and to lady in questtion, i misunderstood the circumstance but my point is that i rather remain single than be married to who i dont love and amma give same advice to any lady irrespective of age....marriage aint an achievement...