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Please, I Need Your Advise - Romance - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumNairaland GeneralRomancePlease, I Need Your Advise (2065 Views)

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Please, I Need Your Advise by juola(op): 6:22am On Dec 07, 2016
Good morning, please I need your advise and will be grateful if I get matured ones. I met my boyfriend early this year and I asked for his genotype which he told me was AA. But some weeks ago, we went to do the test and found out we are both AS. we went to four different labs and it was still the same thing. My boyfriend is of the opinion that we continue with the relationship and go for PGD(pre Implantation genetic diagnosis) but am not too convinced. I had been a victim of heartbreak several times and this guy seems to be the best man I have ever met. please I need your advise. No insults please,just advise me.
Re: Please, I Need Your Advise by mrjojo: 6:24am On Dec 07, 2016
post this in the Family section, if you want serious advise.
Re: Please, I Need Your Advise by juola(op): 6:25am On Dec 07, 2016
thanks
Re: Please, I Need Your Advise by Nobody: 6:29am On Dec 07, 2016
My advice is look for another spouse.
Than to get children that would...
Re: Please, I Need Your Advise by dingbang(m): 6:29am On Dec 07, 2016
Who says she can't get d best advise in romance section? angry







Op please go for d pre implantation shii and if the results say u both can't marry then there is absolutely nothing u two can do abt it
Re: Please, I Need Your Advise by DaddySLY(m): 6:30am On Dec 07, 2016
nothing is wrong yet... is he giving hints of marriage?
Re: Please, I Need Your Advise by solid3(m): 6:32am On Dec 07, 2016
Life is a risk. And marrying someone who has same AS genotype as you is risky. Very very risky. All you need so is visit a family who has done this before and are now living with the consequences.

But if the guy is buoyant enough for the medicals, then you can take the risk.
Re: Please, I Need Your Advise by Nutase: 6:36am On Dec 07, 2016
My dear the realities of marriage are different from relationship. In the relationship the guys sound very optimistic when they are love struck but when they get into the marriage and face reality they turn on you and most times begin to see you as the cause of all their generational problems. I've seen loving families turn to war zones because of this SS matter.

Answer the questions below then take a decision yourself:
1) how much does the PGD cost?
2) how many children do you guys want to have?
3) is he financially capable to bear the expenses of the treatment in addition to the cost of running a family?


From your answers above you know what to do.

Best of luck.
Re: Please, I Need Your Advise by mofeoluwadassah: 6:39am On Dec 07, 2016
Pls dont take d risk o
Re: Please, I Need Your Advise by juola(op): 6:43am On Dec 07, 2016
DaddySLY:
nothing is wrong yet... is he giving hints of marriage?
yes he is.
Re: Please, I Need Your Advise by juola(op): 6:44am On Dec 07, 2016
dingbang:
Who says she can't get d best advise in romance section? angry
Op please go for d pre implantation shii and if the results say u both can't marry then there is absolutely nothing u two can do abt it
Thanks .....
Re: Please, I Need Your Advise by dingbang(m): 6:46am On Dec 07, 2016
juola:
Thanks .....
u welcome. And hey please keep a straight face, remember it's his fault and he lied to you in the first place. Don't let love blind ur eyes when it comes to the health of your children else u"d spend billions.. cool
Re: Please, I Need Your Advise by juola(op): 6:47am On Dec 07, 2016
Nutase:
My dear the realities of marriage are different from relationship. In the relationship the guys sound very optimistic when they are love struck but when they get into the marriage and face reality they turn on you and most times begin to see you as the cause of all their generational problems. I've seen loving families turn to war zones because of this SS matter.
Answer the questions below then take a decision yourself:
1) how much does the PGD cost?
2) how many children do you guys want to have?
3) is he financially capable to bear the expenses of the treatment in addition to the cost of running a family?
From your answers above you know what to do.
Best of luck.
I had tried to call off the relationship but am unable to. Anytime I try to talk about it,I end up crying my eyes out.
Re: Please, I Need Your Advise by Rone16(f): 6:47am On Dec 07, 2016
Hmmn it depends on the size of your wallet..All this stuffs relating to genes are so expensive.If you guys are not that rich then you leave him.Number 2 is amniocentesis..I think a child's genotype can be figured out just like deformities and eliminated..That one solely depends on your views on religion and abortion and also your wallet smiley.Number 3 is in vitro fertilization which for me is the best if you have money because many eggs will be harvested and I guess they can pick out the AS or AA one and flush out the rest..This one also depends on your views on IVF and religion and also your wallet.The last but not the least is to get married and take your matter to dunamis or any church you go to..God works miracles if you have faith..I heard of a woman with 4 non SS kids even though she and husby are AS..So the ball
Is in your court..
Re: Please, I Need Your Advise by Nutase: 6:50am On Dec 07, 2016
juola:
I had tried to call off the relationship but am unable to. Anytime I try to talk about it,I end up crying my eyes out.
You need to be strong if you don't want to cry for the rest of your life. Watching your children die and your darling husband heap the blame on you or hate you is more painful than loosing a lover. Make hay while the sun shines.
Re: Please, I Need Your Advise by juola(op): 6:50am On Dec 07, 2016
dingbang:
u welcome. And hey please keep a straight face, remember it's his fault and he lied to you in the first place. Don't let love blind ur eyes when it comes to the health of your children else u"d spend billions.. cool
he actually didn't lie about it. I did the test and even showed me the results. let me say it was God's guidance that made us do another test
Re: Please, I Need Your Advise by dingbang(m): 6:53am On Dec 07, 2016
juola:
he actually didn't lie about it. I did the test and even showed me the results. let me say it was God's guidance that made us do another test
alright... just don't make any more fatal decisions.
Re: Please, I Need Your Advise by juola(op): 6:55am On Dec 07, 2016
Rone16:
Hmmn it depends on the size of your wallet..All this stuffs relating to genes are so expensive.If you guys are not that rich then you leave him.Number 2 is amniocentesis..I think a child's genotype can be figured out just like deformities and eliminated..That one solely depends on your views on religion and abortion and also your wallet smiley.Number 3 is in vitro fertilization which for me is the best if you have money because many eggs will be harvested and I guess they can pick out the AS or AA one and flush out the rest..This one also depends on your views on IVF and religion and also your wallet.The last but not the least is to get married and take your matter to dunamis or any church you go to..God works miracles if you have faith..I heard of a woman with 4 non SS kids even though she and husby are AS..So the ball
Is in your court..
Hmmm.... thanks. The major problem is my religious views. Abortion is not allowed for whatever reason
Re: Please, I Need Your Advise by juola(op): 6:55am On Dec 07, 2016
Rone16:
Hmmn it depends on the size of your wallet..All this stuffs relating to genes are so expensive.If you guys are not that rich then you leave him.Number 2 is amniocentesis..I think a child's genotype can be figured out just like deformities and eliminated..That one solely depends on your views on religion and abortion and also your wallet smiley.Number 3 is in vitro fertilization which for me is the best if you have money because many eggs will be harvested and I guess they can pick out the AS or AA one and flush out the rest..This one also depends on your views on IVF and religion and also your wallet.The last but not the least is to get married and take your matter to dunamis or any church you go to..God works miracles if you have faith..I heard of a woman with 4 non SS kids even though she and husby are AS..So the ball
Is in your court..
Hmmm.... thanks. The major problem is my religious views. Abortion is not allowed for whatever reason and my guy is a lecturer in a private university
Re: Please, I Need Your Advise by juola(op): 6:57am On Dec 07, 2016
I think and know that break up is the best option but I find myself so weak to break up with him
Re: Please, I Need Your Advise by LorDBolton(m): 7:13am On Dec 07, 2016
juola:
Hmmm.... thanks. The major problem is my religious views. Abortion is not allowed for whatever reason and my guy is a lecturer in a private university
Abortion is not allowed? What about fornication?? Or you and the guy have been celibate throughout the relationshiphuh

If it's possible to know the genotype of the kid while @ foetus stage then by all means abort if it's SS, what's the big deal there?

It's a joint decision (btw you and the guy) ya'll need to sit down, plan & discuss these things.

Rone16 has given you the best advice you need (except going to church to pray over baby genotype lols)

If break up is the route u eventually wish to take then I still wish you happiness sha, but speaking as a man, an evil man for that matter I know how tough it is for ladies to find good men.

So you owe it to yourself to Consider how practicable the options of ivf, abortions till u get the right 'child' etc is before you chose to throw in the towel.

Goodluck
Re: Please, I Need Your Advise by dingbang(m): 7:21am On Dec 07, 2016
juola:
I think and know that break up is the best option but I find myself so weak to break up with him
so after d comments u are still weak to break up with him. shocked




You women sha..
Re: Please, I Need Your Advise by naijaboiy: 7:21am On Dec 07, 2016
Breaking up with him is definitely not a bad idea, to save yourself from the stress that will come in the future. But then, it's a hard decision to make.

How about you listen to him and you guys should try out his suggestion. One thing you should know is that you'll get many advise from people but I believe those who can really help you are parents or couples who were in this situation but still got married.

Please try to look for such people for advise.
Re: Please, I Need Your Advise by ipain: 7:23am On Dec 07, 2016
Nutase:
My dear the realities of marriage are different from relationship. In the relationship the guys sound very optimistic when they are love struck but when they get into the marriage and face reality they turn on you and most times begin to see you as the cause of all their generational problems. I've seen loving families turn to war zones because of this SS matter.

Answer the questions below then take a decision yourself:
1) how much does the PGD cost?
2) how many children do you guys want to have?
3) is he financially capable to bear the expenses of the treatment in addition to the cost of running a family?


From your answers above you know what to do.

Best of luck.
Best advise so far. Sound Maturity.
Re: Please, I Need Your Advise by Nobody: 7:33am On Dec 07, 2016
You don't want to take the risk dear. i advice against it because by the time reality sets in, your eyes go clear. This is the time to think with your head not your heart.
Or just try visiting parents with ss kids, hospitals to see kids or people having crisis or go get the opinion of a doctor.
Re: Please, I Need Your Advise by Nobody: 10:04am On Dec 07, 2016
what GOD has join togeda let no man put asunda, my best advice go into prayer and have a meek spirit to let d holy spirit guide you









i can tel u to run nd i can tell to stay with him either way all na advice even u knw dat,so dats why i said try GOD
Re: Please, I Need Your Advise by firstking01(m): 11:07am On Dec 07, 2016
dingbang:
Who says she can't get d best advise in romance section? angry







Op please go for d pre implantation shii and if the results say u both can't marry then there is absolutely nothing u two can do abt it
Best advice...juola or warreva your moniker is, see this...btw, why did he lie about his genotype in the first placeundecided
Re: Please, I Need Your Advise by firstking01(m): 11:08am On Dec 07, 2016
dingbang:
Who says she can't get d best advise in romance section? angry







Op please go for d pre implantation shii and if the results say u both can't marry then there is absolutely nothing u two can do abt it
Best advice...juola or warreva your moniker is, see this...btw, why did he lie about his genotype in the first placeundecided...
Re: Please, I Need Your Advise by juola(op): 6:14pm On Dec 07, 2016
LorDBolton:
Abortion is not allowed? What about fornication?? Or you and the guy have been celibate throughout the relationshiphuh

If it's possible to know the genotype of the kid while @ foetus stage then by all means abort if it's SS, what's the big deal there?

It's a joint decision (btw you and the guy) ya'll need to sit down, plan & discuss these things.

Rone16 has given you the best advice you need (except going to church to pray over baby genotype lols)

If break up is the route u eventually wish to take then I still wish you happiness sha, but speaking as a man, an evil man for that matter I know how tough it is for ladies to find good men.

So you owe it to yourself to Consider how practicable the options of ivf, abortions till u get the right 'child' etc is before you chose to throw in the towel.

Goodluck
OK...... thanks
Re: Please, I Need Your Advise by juola(op): 6:16pm On Dec 07, 2016
[quote author=Piercedclit post=51704662]You don't want to take the risk dear. i advice against it because by the time reality sets in, your eyes go clear. This is the time to think with your head not your heart.
Or just try visiting parents with ss kids, hospitals to see kids or people having crisis or go get the opinion of a doctor. [/quote
Thanks
Re: Please, I Need Your Advise by Nobody: 6:42pm On Dec 07, 2016
I met an old primary school classmate sometime this year and we got talking. He told me how he loved his girlfriend and they had been dating for about 3 years. He planned to settle down with her but then he did something selfish.

Short story.

About a year into the relationship, he told her to check her Genotype since she didnt know about it. she came back and told him "AS" ..... He was dumbfounded, then he told her He was " AA"... They continued their love until he just couldnt take it anymore. As of the time I met him (which was their 3rd year) he was waiting for her birthday to pass and then after a month he would break the News that he is "AS" too.

We lost contact again so i cant tell what happend. but he made up his mind to break the news so she could move on before it gets too late. Im quite sure by now he must have done that...



@ OP .....My point is forget the surgery....when humans are stuck in love they say anything. Please, try and move on and end the relationship.
Re: Please, I Need Your Advise by juola(op): 8:05pm On Dec 07, 2016
Maychang:
I met an old primary school classmate sometime this year and we got talking. He told me how he loved his girlfriend and they had been dating for about 3 years. He planned to settle down with her but then he did something selfish.

Short story.

About a year into the relationship, he told her to check her Genotype since she didnt know about it. she came back and told him "AS" ..... He was dumbfounded, then he told her He was " AA"... They continued their love until he just couldnt take it anymore. As of the time I met him (which was their 3rd year) he was waiting for her birthday to pass and then after a month he would break the News that he is "AS" too.

We lost contact again so i cant tell what happend. but he made up his mind to break the news so she could move on before it gets too late. Im quite sure by now he must have done that...



@ OP .....My point is forget the surgery....when humans are stuck in love they say anything. Please, try and move on and end the relationship.
Hmmm...... Thanks
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