₦airaland Forum

Hello nairalanders please assist to advise a sister. Story in brief, i am a young lady in my early thirties, dating a young guy whom we planned getting married together until he travelled out and distance set in as a barrier, now I have another suitor whom I never took seriously until I was convinced of his intentions etc.
The issue here is this, the former who travelled out is one who possesses all the qualities I seek in a man except for the fact that he is still hustling and trying to make it as a man which I really had no problem with as I was ready to stand by him to achieve all these. Next is this other guy , the latter has not much of the qualities I need in a man but he is already made, wealthy etc although never been married no kids as he is more mature in his early 40's also, his English, hmm, very appalling but he is ready to settle down like right now.
Please advise, especially the ladies if in my shoes, how would u handle? Thank u

my sis close ur eyes and breath high and mention at a mention of each of name,ur mind wil tells

my sis close ur eyes and breath high and at a mention of each one of dem name,ur mind wil tells u ur man

Go and seek God' face on dat. He wil guide u well.

2dice01:
its obvious the new guy is winning already even before the match kickoff

How do u mean. He seems really serious I'm just confused as outlined

I'm I'm I'm eh eh eh

Choose your heart.

Sometimes life plays a painful game on us. Always bringing things in halves,It is our choice to either settle for the halves or make them complete as a whole. Whichever your decision will be it must come from the heart so the result won't hurt. Follow your heart Ma.

tee59:
Go and seek God' face on dat. He wil guide u well.

What if God approves this second guy how do I cope with his way of speaking that's my only problem here. Thank u

Alondra:
Sometimes life plays a painful game on us. Always bringing things in halves,It is our choice to either settle for the halves or make them complete as a whole. Whichever your decision will be it must come from the heart so the result won't hurt. Follow your heart Ma.

Thank u

The thing that's confusing u is that this new guy is already made! And there's no guarantee that the first guy will marry u. just follow ur heart

chomytex:
The thing that's confusing u is that this new guy is already made!
And there's no guarantee that the first guy will marry u.
just follow ur heart

Really difficult thanks

You really want the second guy because of his wealth but you feel very appalled by his english presentation..hmm anyway seek God's face...

Yayjay:
How do u mean. He seems really serious I'm just confused as outlined

i think you should give a chance.. Date him first
Abi you just wanna jump into marriage without knowing your partner

Yayjay:
Hello nairalanders please assist to advise a sister. Story in brief, i am a young lady in my early thirties, dating a young guy whom we planned getting married together until he travelled out and distance set in as a barrier, now I have another suitor whom I never took seriously until I was convinced of his intentions etc.
The issue here is this, the former who travelled out is one who possesses all the qualities I seek in a man except for the fact that he is still hustling and trying to make it as a man which I really had no problem with as I was ready to stand by him to achieve all these. Next is this other guy , the latter has not much of the qualities I need in a man but he is already made, wealthy etc although never been married no kids as he is more mature in his early 40's also, his English, hmm, very appalling but he is ready to settle down like right now.
Please advise, especially the ladies if in my shoes, how would u handle? Thank u

My beloveth sister, i'm sure you 've heard the old adage that says a bird at hand is better than trillions in the forest but then, ensure you have convincing reasons to why you can't wait for your supposed "fiancee" abroad to come back...make every effort to let him know that you can NO longer wait for him as time is NOT on your side...the reason for this is, should incase he comes back tomorrow and want to do gragra then you can now have something to stand with...my lil bite tho.

olac21:
You really want the second guy because of his wealth but you feel very appalled by his english presentation..hmm anyway seek God's face...

Not at all.. not necessarily cos of his wealth. Even wen I see every of his other side as okay, d grammar is a total put off. Thanks

firstking01:
My beloveth sister, i'm sure you 've heard the old adage that says a bird at hand is better than trillions in the forest but then, ensure you have convincing reasons to why you can't wait for your supposed "fiancee" abroad to come back...make every effort to let him know that you can NO longer wait for him as time is NOT on your side...the reason for this is, should incase he comes back tomorrow and want to do gragra then you can now have something to stand with...my lil bite tho.

Thanks,like I said the distance between us is already affecting the relationship as calls aren't as regular as it used to be, his attitude etc

Forget both and start again. One guy will waste your time while you wait and the other guy is not your type. You will be settling for the other guy and that will cause trouble in the long run.

JuicyLucy:
Forget both and start again. One guy will waste your time while you wait and the other guy is not your type. You will be settling for the other guy and that will cause trouble in the long run.

Thanks

Yayjay:
Thanks,like I said the distance between us is already affecting the relationship as calls aren't as regular as it used to be, his attitude etc

Make hay while the sun shines.

firstking01:
Make hay while the sun shines.

Okay thank u

Yayjay:
Okay thank u

You are welcome sweet.

My sister, don't be decieved, all that glitters ain't gold, don't jump into the stream to start complaining of cold again, the first guy has everything you want in a man but not made(Yet), in his case, patience is the key, the other guy has all the money but his standard you feel is appalling, you can groom him, after all you're going to be his helpmate even though it's obvious the money is already entering your eyes, my dear, thread softly, nobody will make a pick for you, you'll still do it yourself, firstly, take it to God in prayers, and secondly, follow your heart, as bad as poverty is, nobody wanna be in a marriage where there's no peace, money will buy you happiness but not fulfilment.

go with d 2nd guy....let go of d americana

wemmieslim:
My sister, don't be decieved, all that glitters ain't gold, don't jump into the stream to start complaining of cold again, the first guy has everything you want in a man but not made(Yet), in his case, patience is the key, the other guy has all the money but his standard you feel is appalling, you can groom him, after all you're going to be his helpmate even though it's obvious the money is already entering your eyes, my dear, thread softly, nobody will make a pick for you, you'll still do it yourself, firstly, take it to God in prayers, and secondly, follow your heart, as bad as poverty is, nobody wanna be in a marriage where there's no peace, money will buy you happiness but not fulfilment.

Thanks for your input
Money not entering eyes lol.

wemmieslim:
My sister, don't be decieved, all that glitters ain't gold, don't jump into the stream to start complaining of cold again, the first guy has everything you want in a man but not made(Yet), in his case, patience is the key, the other guy has all the money but his standard you feel is appalling, you can groom him, after all you're going to be his helpmate even though it's obvious the money is already entering your eyes, my dear, thread softly, nobody will make a pick for you, you'll still do it yourself, firstly, take it to God in prayers, and secondly, follow your heart, as bad as poverty is, nobody wanna be in a marriage where there's no peace, money will buy you happiness but not fulfilment.

Thanks for your input
Money not entering eyes oo lol

Young lady in her thirties

When life gives you Lemon,you make lemonade with it,Money and riches can vanish in a flash....a word is enough.

Drixxx:
When life gives you Lemon,you make lemonade with it,Money and riches can vanish in a flash....a word is enough.

What's your point sir

if the one hustling is still serious with you, I'd advice you stick with him.
the new guy, you say, doesn't have the Lilly traits you want in a man but is readily made. my sister, it's not all about the money. are you sure you're gonna be able to cope with him when you get married? when probably he'll start exhibiting behaviours he had been keeping lockdown before?
think twice. a mistake in things like this leaves forever, a scar on one's heart.
best of luck

the issue is complicated.. Cos after marrying d new guy ,,her heart will still be with the Americana...and that's how adultery starts..cos her mind will always be with the Americana...

My advice is, if u know that the first guy is not the cheating type that may later come back from abroad with another girl claiming u are no longer on the same level with him as his reason, you can choose to wait for him because there is a tendency to connect easily and grow up together from grass to grace.
If your instinct tells otherwise, I think it is better you go for the second guy to avoid wasting your time. Are u sure this second man doesn't have a child or children out of wedlock, because it is difficult to find a rich man in this present day Naija in his 40s not being disturbed by females, but if u are alright, no problem.
Concerning his English, na English u won chop? If u are not OK with his English, u squeeze out time to teach him or you advice him to get a private tutor.