₦airaland Forum

Real parents never give up on their children

Yes and I will collect my money back.

the question is:will i reject my biological son if he s problematic?
My answer to ur question is d answer to my question

DropShot:
Did you adopt him/her on the assurance he/she will not be problematic?

i adopted him in the hope that he'll at least have a little of my gentle and loving nature.

If he's going to give me HBP in my young age ima return the lad so fast he'll be dizzy.

Truth is i hate spoilt kids with a passion. Cant stand 'em. That's why i'll probably never adopt.

Send the child back ASAP!

...in a jiffy

Ioannes:
ASAP

I can't let somebody else's child coman kill me. I didn't kill my own parents.

na wah for you..

Valfrankie:
What if you do and God decides to punish you with an even more troublesome biological child? The Child if trained well can bring you immense joy in your later years. whether adopted or biological, a child is like a sealed parcel, what you see is what you get!

gbam.

Valfrankie:
What if you do and God decides to punish you with an even more troublesome biological child? The Child if trained well can bring you immense joy in your later years. whether adopted or biological, a child is like a sealed parcel, what you see is what you get!

To me, it depends on the kind of problems he's creating in the house.
Why do we always use God to create fears in our mind unnecessarily?
For the fact that you adopted him, you've really tried. If you can't cope with her problems, nothing bad in returning her to the home before something ugly occurred as a result of frustration

I know it's unfair to return to problematic child to where his future is uncertain but at the end of the day you don't know the kind of madness in his dna (sorry)



My late aunt couldn't conceive and adopted a boy then and despite her best efforts the guy is a waste. She loved him, cared for him but the boy na original weyrey

Adopted children aren't any worse than biological children, just keep loving them and they will return the love.

HomeOfMe:
na wah for you..

lol. Dont mind me jare.

Truth is i dont think i can even adopt a child.

If i dont smack him to correct him he'll turn bad and yet if i spank him i'll start wondering if i'm only treating him that way cos i'm not his biological dad.

Then i trust my hyperactive mind, i'll start wondering what his parents who have died are thinking of me...

Hard not to do.

Would you give your own problematic child back? When one decides to adopt, it's not really like a shoe you want to try on for a while and return if not satisfied.

The role of the parent is to raise a child, adopted, related, or own. It's a lot of work, but very very important.

That said, I have small children. They all cause me headaches. Sometimes I wish I could put them in a box and ship off to anybody who will take them.

I can understand how an adopted parent will feel that it's easy to return the misbehaving child, but just as it's not OK for a biological parent to abandon their responsibilities, I think it's also not OK for an adopted parent. Don't give up!

samsam2019:
I know it's unfair to return to problematic child to where his future is uncertain but at the end of the day you don't know the kind of madness in his dna (sorry)

My late aunt couldn't conceive and adopted a boy then and despite her best efforts the guy is a waste. She loved him, cared for him but the boy na original weyrey

I think we can say the same about biological children. Some of them cause their parents a lot of heartache.

lepasharon:
Real parents never give up on their children

Easier said than done abegi. Your type beats a hell out of a child at the slightest provocation.

I wonder where this topic flew out from....... strange

Throw back to 1997 , a 3-month-old son was abandoned in the hospital by his mum in the incubator because he was born preterm.

I bet I should go on.......

My mom was informed by a neighbor who often went helped such kids and proposed that we rescue the boy by adopting him. As at 1997 my mum already had kids of both sexes , who were already in the university .

Now he became our brother, but he kinda had a mind of his own. Well he became the last child. /But some 15 years down the mail he became a pain in the arse, took the drugs and all maners of destructive behavior.

He was checked into the mental home,checked out and got worse.

But guess what , he retraced his steps, and is completely whole again.

ONLY GOD COULD HAVE DONE IT.

omg..... Drugs CAN RUIN. PROTECT THE YOUTH FROM HARD DRUGS.

Once you adopt a child he automatically becomes your child, and it's also a charity work so you have to deal with the child's attitude by showing it love and care, with God they will be of good character.

I think the number 1 issue here is that we have not defined 'problematic' , some comments have limited it to being stubborn , hmm. I know of a family where they adopted a child ( a baby).. she has grown to be 10 years, she cant walk, talk properly, feed herself.. I don't know the exact word for this but im sure there is.. cos its not imbecillism.. They have been carrying this burden, but believe me, it is not easy at all.

Ioannes:
lol. Dont mind me jare.

Truth is i dont think i can even adopt a child.

If i dont smack him to correct him he'll turn bad and yet if i spank him i'll start wondering if i'm only treating him that way cos i'm not his biological dad.

Then i trust my hyperactive mind, i'll start wondering what his parents who have died are thinking of me...

Lol!I know that feeling. But if you would spank your biological child out of love,you can do same to an adopted one. My first child is aopted,and i use to scold and spank him a lot that he's even calmer and more well behaved than my biological child. After scolding and spanking them,i pamper them afterwards.

HomeOfMe:
Lol!I know that feeling. But if you would spank your biological child out of love,you can do same to an adopted one. My first child is aopted,and i use to scold and spank him a lot that he's even calmer and more well behaved than my biological child. After scolding and spanking them,i pamper them afterwards.

i also have the feeling that if the father was a rascally fellow or a brigand that the son will follow suit no matter how hard you try. Children of nowadays ehn...

Shinelle:
I think the number 1 issue here is that we have not defined 'problematic' , some comments have limited it to being stubborn , hmm. I know of a family where they adopted a child ( a baby).. she has grown to be 10 years, she cant walk, talk properly, feed herself.. I don't know the exact word for this but im sure there is.. cos its not imbecillism.. They have been carrying this burden, but believe me, it is not easy at all.

maybe the child has Autism. Probably the reason they gave him up for adoption in the first place.

Donshemzy1234:
problem child in what sense??. op what are the features of a problem child...

a child adopted at maybe 8-10yrs and steals, fights, threatens to fight with the adopted parent's and other such attitudes, sickly too or other issues like madness and all such

Really love to adopt One or two kids becus I always feel somehow of not setting my eyes on my biological father till now... R.I.P to him.

Ioannes:
ASAP

I can't let somebody else's child coman kill me. I didn't kill my own parents.

So are you implying that the child killed his/her parents?

1acre:
I wonder where this topic flew out from....... strange

Throw back to 1997 , a 3-month-old son was abandoned in the hospital by his mum in the incubator because he was born preterm.

I bet I should go on.......

My mom was informed by a neighbor who often went helped such kids and proposed that we rescue the boy by adopting him. As at 1997 my mum already had kids of both sexes , who were already in the university .

Now he became our brother, but he kinda had a mind of his own. Well he became the last child. /But some 15 years down the mail he became a pain in the arse, took the drugs and all maners of destructive behavior.

He was checked into the mental home,checked out and got worse.

But guess what , he retraced his steps, and is completely whole again.

ONLY GOD COULD HAVE DONE IT.

omg..... Drugs CAN RUIN. PROTECT THE YOUTH FROM HARD DRUGS.

in answer to your question of where the topic flew out from, I started a blog dealing with life's affairs especially issues related to families.
These are the kinds of topics blog visitors will find on the blog to discuss about.

check it out, home4reel..com

JennyOfOldstones:
So are you implying that the child killed his/her parents?

Absolutely not. My post doesn't reflect that at all. I sympathize with all orphans really.

Also it's kind of a manner of speaking, a popular phrase among Yoruba parents when addressing even their own biological but naughty kids.

Something like "i wont let you kill me, because i didnt kill my own parents"

the word "kill" there closely translates as stress.

Hope you get it.

Shinelle:
I think the number 1 issue here is that we have not defined 'problematic' , some comments have limited it to being stubborn , hmm. I know of a family where they adopted a child ( a baby).. she has grown to be 10 years, she cant walk, talk properly, feed herself.. I don't know the exact word for this but im sure there is.. cos its not imbecillism.. They have been carrying this burden, but believe me, it is not easy at all.

problematic in every relatable aspect. stubbornness, sickness, spiritual wahala, etc

No I will not return an adopted child. First of all, children are not commodities to be bought and returned if unsatisfied.
Secondly, adopted children usually have abandonment issues especially those abandoned by their parent/s. They grow up feeling unwanted and this is probably what makes them misbehave. They are afraid to trust. Show them love and care and they'll definitely cool down but if you abandon them because of their behavioural issues then you're creating a future menace to the society. Such children almost always become delinquent.

Ioannes:
Absolutely not. My post doesn't reflect that at all. I sympathize with all orphans really.

Also it's kind of a manner of speaking, a popular phrase among Yoruba parents when addressing even their own biological but naughty kids.

Something like "i wont let you kill me, because i didnt kill my own parents"

the word "kill" there closely translates as stress.

Hope you get it.

Yeah, I actually know that. But, I just raised that question because if; hypothetically you actually adopted a child and told him that, He'll probably take it the way I did

Ioannes:
i also have the feeling that if the father was a rascally fellow or a brigand that the son will follow suit no matter how hard you try. Children of nowadays ehn...

It depends on how you bring them up. As a Christian,my holy book tells me,"train up a child in the way he should go so that when he grows up it would stick to him".