₦airaland Forum

Marxxx:
I will still say it over and over any man who marries a woman older than him needs to be examined. Low self esteem, poverty, higher earning prospects....lust and deception is also another factor. No right thinking young man with enough money will marry a lady older than him. You may date older ladies when you have enough money, things may go wrong and you end up marrying one. But under normal conditions with the right state of mind No man will aspire to marry an older woman.

You have stereotype problem. May be you are still a kid or still single with lofty ideas in life. You make statements that a learned person shouldn't make. What are your authority in your statements? I guess none?

What are the factors the ennoble successful marriages? List them. Is age one of them? Are you currently invovled in a successful marriage?

So why do we have many marriages in which the man is older than the woman still collapsing? If you know human psychology, you will know that no woman will respect the husband because the husband is older than her.

You think that some men marry older women because they have low esteem, lust, deceived and poor? You see why I may be inclined to call you an inexperienced youth.

Well ones knowledge is related to his experiences in life.

baby124:
Lol, so you think a good wife should take care of you like a new born baby. But you pray you are not alive to ever take care of her too. According to you, you can't be shaking and your wife is shaking too. Abi? Chai, women have suffered. And it's not like your papa will even be rewarding her by satisfying her sexually, this one she has to bath him. Please when he dies find your mum a fresh meat so she can enjoy her life small before going to meet her ancestors. Women have emotional needs too and deserve to be pampered.

You claim women are weaker, but it's your father pretending to be a new born baby. Can't eat, sleep or function without his mother/wife being there abi? Your mother is his mother, wife, secretary, nurse, doctor, cook, baby sitter, communications director, business director and accountant. Yet she's weaker somehow. Lol. Your father owes her people a lot for the value he gets out of her. Chai!

that is the joy of having a wife. You see My parents were quite poor in their early days but my mum's family were incredibly poor. My dad was begged to take her because they were so many and poorly fed. My dad took care of her and did the best he can. He has taken care of her then and now she is repaying him of all the good deeds. Definitely mum has filled the house with all her niece, nephew, sisters etc and my dad business caters for them....If you marry a young wife, you will pamper and treat well. So that when you age she will have enough energy to take care of you.

jusRadical:
You have stereotype problem. May be you are still a kid or still single with lofty ideas in life. You make statements that a learned person shouldn't make. What are your authority in your statements? I guess none?

What are the factors the ennoble successful marriages? List them. Is age one of them? Are you currently invovled in a successful marriage?

So why do we have many marriages in which the man is older than the woman still collapsing? If you know human psychology, you will know that no woman will respect the husband because the husband is older than her.

You think that some men marry older women because they have low esteem, lust, deceived and poor? You see why I may be inclined to call you an inexperienced youth.

Well ones knowledge is related to his experiences in life.

I quit

PaperLace:
You can't define sane for millions of men.
I repeat, there are SANE men who want to marry their mates. Not every man wants a wife to babysit him. On this NL, there was a thread on dating older ladies, guys admitted being attracted to older ladies!

They are all SANE, okay?
Marry your 10yrs younger wife and leave others to their choices.

Earning power? Nice reason.
After all you want a younger wife to babysit you when you start shaking.

Great words sir.

Do not mind the guy. He has stereotype problem.

No woman respects her husband because he is older then her and no man stays faithful to his wife because she is pretty.

He does not understand the nitty-gritty of marriages. He thinks that his parents are still married because his father is older than his mother. Poor boy.

Marxxx:
that is the joy of having a wife. You see My parents were quite poor in their early days but my mum's family were incredibly poor. My dad was begged to take her because they were so many and poorly fed. My dad took care of her and did the best he can. He has taken care of her then and now she is repaying him of all the good deeds. Definitely mum has filled the house with all her niece, nephew, sisters etc and my dad business caters for them....If you marry a young wife, you will pamper and treat well. So that when you age she won't leave your side.

No wonder she is doing all those things. It is out of a sense of gratitude to your father for lifting up her family and not out of love, respect or loyalty. She even needs to keep your father's ego massaged so she can keep providing for her extended family's needs. Likewise your father is able to get away with treating her like this because he is her family's small god. The dynamics of every marriage is different. Till you understand that before making sweeping judgments. This is not about respect, but gratitude. A woman your father's age mate could also do same. Likewise a young wife could run away with a younger lover with your father's money too. He just married a good woman that has the fear of God. It has nothing to do with age or respect. If your father could not provide all her needs will she have the same level of loyalty? I think not..

Marxxx:
that is the joy of having a wife. You see My parents were quite poor in their early days but my mum's family were incredibly poor. My dad was begged to take her because they were so many and poorly fed. My dad took care of her and did the best he can. He has taken care of her then and now she is repaying him of all the good deeds. Definitely mum has filled the house with all her niece, nephew, sisters etc and my dad business caters for them....If you marry a young wife, you will pamper and treat well. So that when you age she will have enough energy to take care of you.

You see the problem. They married out of pity. Your mum feels that she is indebted to your father. Do you think that that is a good basis for one to get married? Pity? Do not forget that their days are different from ours. Begged to take cared of? Ha!ha!ha!ha!

Have you not seen or heard of a situation where a woman abandons a man that helped her and vice viser?

baby124:
No wonder she is doing all those things. It is out of a sense of gratitude to your father for lifting up her family and not out of love, respect or loyalty. She even needs to keep your father's ego massaged so she can keep providing for her extended family's needs. Likewise your father is able to get away with treating her like this because he is her family's small god. The dynamics of every marriage is different. Till you understand that before making sweeping judgments. This is not about respect, but gratitude. A woman your father's age mate could also do same. Likewise a young wife could run away with a younger lover with your father's money too. He just married a good woman that has the fear of God. It has nothing to do with age or respect. If your father could not provide all her needs will she have the same level of loyalty? I think not..

...is ok...

jusRadical:

You see the problem. They married out of pity. Your mum feels that she is indebted to your father. Do you think that that is a good basis for one to get married? Pity? Do not forget that their days are different from ours. Begged to take cared of? Ha!ha!ha!ha!

Have you not seen or heard of a situation where a woman abandons a man that helped her and vice viser?

hey it is ok

baby124:
No wonder she is doing all those things. It is out of a sense of gratitude to your father for lifting up her family and not out of love, respect or loyalty. She even needs to keep your father's ego massaged so she can keep providing for her extended family's needs. Likewise your father is able to get away with treating her like this because he is her family's small god. The dynamics of every marriage is different. Till you understand that before making sweeping judgments. This is not about respect, but gratitude. A woman your father's age mate could also do same. Likewise a young wife could run away with a younger lover with your father's money too. He just married a good woman that has the fear of God. It has nothing to do with age or respect. If your father could not provide all her needs will she have the same level of loyalty? I think not..

Thank you sir.

When I called him inexperienced youth, he must have thought that I insulted him but GOD forbid that I do so purposely. Had it been that his mum's family was and is still well to do, does he think that the mum would still be "respecting (out of gratitude)" his father?

Marxxx:
hey it is ok

Sorry for sounding insulting: I guess I did. The truth is that, with all due respect to your parents, what you wrote there is not a good reason to get married. It may have worked for them and some other couples, but it is not standard. I may not stand some trials.

Remember that each marriage/home is unique and different from others. What works in one may cause problem in another.

Why are these women attacking this poor man?

BoboYekini:
Why are these women attacking this poor man?

They don't want him to enter a marriage with such mindset. We are trying to reduce the complaints thread in this section...

Marxx, some things you said do not portray your parents in good light. Which one is your dad was begged to marry your mum?
Na real wa!

BoboYekini:
Why are these women attacking this poor man?

I am a man and the guy we are addressing may not necessarily be poor.

pocohantas:
They don't want him to enter a marriage which such mindset. We are trying to reduce the complaints thread in this section...

Marxx, some things you said do not portray your parents in good light. Which one is your dad was begged to marry your mum?
Na real wa!

Many of the problems in marriages today are from mindsets. Opinions that people have formed.

I know a woman who loves her daughter in-law more than her own daughters, while the daughter-in-law takes her as her own mum.

jusRadical:
Many of the problems in marriages today are from mindsets. Opinions that people have formed.

I know a woman who loves her daughter in-law more than her own daughters, while the daughter-in-law takes her as her own mum.

What could be her reason? Maybe they are nicer to her.

pocohantas:
What could be her reason? Maybe they are nicer to her.

It is a mindset. It is her person. It is not that there are no issues from her mother in law, but she tolerates, lets go and loves and respects her husband.

Above all, she has JEsus Christ living in her: she is saved, born again.

Marxxx:
you are very funny ...I can't help laughing. I like the way you write. OK...First the relationship between father and children is quite distinct from what exist between partners. Secondly it is easier for a Man to forgive a much younger partner than a partner of same age bracket. The truth is most men are not emotionally aware of this trait. If I get married to a lady of 22 I will tolerate her more than a lady of 30. It is a natural phenomenon for men. As a man you are likely to expect more from your wife of same age bracket! When you marry a woman you are well older than you see her as a partner you need to guide. Her excesses can be overlooked without thinking twice. And when she disrespect you, it doesn't get to you. On the long run you will profit from it too as a man. Women age faster and they are weaker, health complexities who will take care of whom? My dad is 74 my mum is 61 ...he still gets a massage from his wife. My mum still go to the market, wear trousers and look slays...loooolllll... my mum bathes him ensures he gets his medication at the right time. My dad don't eat any food unless prepared by his wife . My mum manages his agriculture business, helps him with his banking transactions gives us full updates on his health. They have maids "trust me you can't live with my dad"...Imagine if they were of same Age? Please on this Aspect I refuse to be westernised. If I am ever going to get married (God willing) it will be nothing short of a 10year gap. When the age difference is glaring "sometimes" respect flows naturally. I envy the treatment my dad gets from his wife. I can't be shaking and my wife too shaking. At least before she starts shaking I am already dining with my ancestors....

I like u jaare.....you have spoken like a real man. All this nairaland ladies saying otherwise only know how to clutch on "western" analysis in relationships. When they finally settle down with an African (esp. Nigerian), their gospel changes.

Suddenly girls on this thread have turned to marriage analysts.... See transformation.... Marxx, I like your openness and realistic perspective.