₦airaland Forum

@OP your story is sad, she doesnt love u. you were her (back up) "the other egg in the basket. if you want to make it work then u have to send her away for somtym, probably for 3weeks or a month. tell her to go marry her ex, just send her home. when she stays a month in her parent's place realising that ex stil isnt going to propose to her she will come begging. even after may be accepting her back, dont eat her food or make love to her. she need to wake up from the dream she's in.

ademola2017:
Hi Nairalanders,

I am in a state of dilemma as my marriage is shaking.

Before we got married, my wife treated me like a piece of shit and never gave me any regards or attention. Any little quarrel would be blown out of proportion and wouldn't talk to me for days. I did the calling always and each time I ask her why she doesn't call, she would say I should get used to it. There was a day when a baseless quarrel occurred, she accused me falsely and we didn't talk for more than two months. I stayed single and was already moving on until her friend came begging on her behalf. I wondered why she didn't come herself but all the same I accepted her back. She changed like she was doing me favor but I still persisted because I loved her genuinely.

Fast forward, we got married and I was hoping for a good future with her. As usual I was very open to her and discussed every issues with her. At a point, I found out the marriage was one sided. I gave more but got little or nothing from her. I never burden her with house chores or cooking at all. We sat always to talk about her attitude but she would say things are fine while I will be grieving and having sleepless nights. She will wake up in the middle of the night to check my phone to know if i was cheating. I swear I have never cheated on my wife... She knows my password and never hid anything from her.
As we went on in the marriage, her behavior became worse and couldn't condone it again. She never saw anything wrong with her attitude and would say her apologizes are expensive.

I decided to do a background check on her and found out she double dated all through when we started dating and gave the guy more attention for 2years of our relationship. When things went bad between them, she fell back to me and unknown to me, I accepted her back. She and her ex were still in good communication till the night I confronted her. She would rather confide in her ex than confide in me (Now husband) Now, I feel so hurt, betrayed and used and can’t trust her again.

She has been very apologetic and says she is ready to change. So if had not found out about her double ways, I will still be condoning her insolent ways. I am seriously finding it hard in my heart to forgive her. Even if I do, I can never ever forget because I do not trust her again.

What will you guys advice?

You deserve it.

Na people like op wey im wife go dey tell am to use condom for am. I feel sorry for u. I won't be surprised if u not gonna be the father of your kids.

My candid opinion; please divorce her asap.
You will never trust her again.
You will always feel she is managing you which is real.
She does not respect you.
She is not attracted to you.
You can not endure this till you are left alone in the grave.
High blood pressure has no cure.
Heart attack is dangerous.
There are so many young and beautiful homely ladies out there.
Op! Please close eye and divorce for your own good.
Nothing is important about her anymore.
You will not die if you divorce her.
Your God given wife is still waiting on you.

God bless you.

sdindan:
Your wife applied OKAFOR'S LAW here.
Forgive her and move on.

Forgive and move on?

How old are you?

Are you married?

NgoziOkoli:
Ain't you the worthless and _imbecilic hoe that goes about with Kimberly or whatever your dumb alternate is moniker to troll the likes of missSpicy. And also go about inciting the war lords of romance section to troll a certain skinny nairalander that resides in Texas! Your think you can hide under another moniker and throw shots then Come with this Moronic moniker and form good girl. Shame on You!


I wonder how your miserable life will be like offline. What I'm I even saying. You have no life off line. Thats why u sleep,eat,and seek for cheap attention on nl.


You can form anything you want on nl. The fact still remain you are a fucckinggg nobody and a miserable rat offline.


I spit on the vaginal that brought you to this world cos you serve no purpose to her. Your father should have erupt the sperm that form a loser rat like on the floor it will surely serve more purpose than your current existence!


I have your time today. Just don't call the mods if e sure for you! You rat!

As for calling mods the guilty woman knows it better. hope you get already made moniker?

ademola2017:
Hi Nairalanders,

I am in a state of dilemma as my marriage is shaking.

Before we got married, my wife treated me like a piece of shit and never gave me any regards or attention. Any little quarrel would be blown out of proportion and wouldn't talk to me for days. I did the calling always and each time I ask her why she doesn't call, she would say I should get used to it. There was a day when a baseless quarrel occurred, she accused me falsely and we didn't talk for more than two months. I stayed single and was already moving on until her friend came begging on her behalf. I wondered why she didn't come herself but all the same I accepted her back. She changed like she was doing me favor but I still persisted because I loved her genuinely.

Fast forward, we got married and I was hoping for a good future with her. As usual I was very open to her and discussed every issues with her. At a point, I found out the marriage was one sided. I gave more but got little or nothing from her. I never burden her with house chores or cooking at all. We sat always to talk about her attitude but she would say things are fine while I will be grieving and having sleepless nights. She will wake up in the middle of the night to check my phone to know if i was cheating. I swear I have never cheated on my wife... She knows my password and never hid anything from her.
As we went on in the marriage, her behavior became worse and couldn't condone it again. She never saw anything wrong with her attitude and would say her apologizes are expensive.

I decided to do a background check on her and found out she double dated all through when we started dating and gave the guy more attention for 2years of our relationship. When things went bad between them, she fell back to me and unknown to me, I accepted her back. She and her ex were still in good communication till the night I confronted her. She would rather confide in her ex than confide in me (Now husband) Now, I feel so hurt, betrayed and used and can’t trust her again.

She has been very apologetic and says she is ready to change. So if had not found out about her double ways, I will still be condoning her insolent ways. I am seriously finding it hard in my heart to forgive her. Even if I do, I can never ever forget because I do not trust her again.

What will you guys advice?

You bought need marriage therapy to heal

luminouz:
Had one like urs before!!!! Had to ditch her... She went all shades of ' am gonna curse d lights outta u' colour n but I didn't give a poo!!!!! No time to time d time......if I can't be happy with u...d fvck we calling it a relationship...should be called strangerboat..n I ain't riding in no damn boat n shiit!!!!

Girls, dem too de worry oh.
I pray God should help some men to get good wives.

luminouz:
Ur amazingella? Well am amazed wella!!!!!!

Well am not sure I understand what you mean by being amazed over my comment. I spoke the bitter truth, though harsh but it's a sad reality that the op have to wake up to.

What sort of a lady won't apologize to her spouse when she's wrong? As if that isn't bad enough, she still dares to tell him that her apology is too expensive in this r/ship, she never had any atom of love for him from day one. She married him cz he was her last and only option.

TheSlyone2:
It doesn't matter. What matters is, does she double fvcks now?


If yes, you self goan triple fvck

Dude! it's not all about sex. Maybe someday when you re mature enough and you eventually get married, you will understand.

AmazingElla:
Well am not sure I understand what you mean by being amazed over my comment. I spoke the bitter truth, though harsh but it's a sad reality that the op have to wake up to.

What sort of a lady won't apologize to her spouse when she's wrong? As if that isn't bad enough, she still dares to tell him that her apology is too expensive in this r/ship, she never had any atom of love for him from day one. She married him cz he was her last and only option.

Ur comment up there was part of d reason I said am amazed wella.....
Lotta gehs have lost d ability to reason this way....no offence

raphemmanuel:
Girls, dem too de worry oh.
I pray God should help some men to get good wives.

4 amens to DAT!!!!!

Dont be deceived.
Most naija gals got main guy and sideguy.
If u sharp u decode it quick.
Me don wise up tay tay.
Dont let they stinkin pusi deceive u.
Life aint one sided.
So fuc any bich who be double dating bich.
I hate such type of shiit

Neva eva beg 4love
Neva cause dats wat theyd use to trap u down bro.
Fuc they stinking pekus.
U allowed yourself to be fooled bro.

ademola2017:
Hi Nairalanders,

I am in a state of dilemma as my marriage is shaking....

Brother if your story is true, I pray you listen to my advice. Divorce that woman NOW! She HAS NOT CHANGED, WILL NEVER CHANGE, LOVES THE OTHER GUY MORE and worst of all, PROBABLY CHEATED WITH HIM IN YOUR MARRIAGE.

Use your sense to find out from her if my last claim is true or not. If it turns out to be true, my guy FLEE before she kills you.

Her type (the Deceivers) can KILL!

luminouz:
Ur comment up there was part of d reason I said am amazed wella.....
Lotta gehs have lost d ability to reason this way....no offence

None taken

AmazingElla:
Well am not sure I understand what you mean by being amazed over my comment. I spoke the bitter truth, though harsh but it's a sad reality that the op have to wake up to.

What sort of a lady won't apologize to her spouse when she's wrong? As if that isn't bad enough, she still dares to tell him that her apology is too expensive in this r/ship, she never had any atom of love for him from day one. She married him cz he was her last and only option.

Thank you ma! You have sense!

professorfal:
You saw it coming but were blinded by that crap you call love.

I wish I knew Love doesnt exist!

Baba, incase you did not know, she was cheating on the guy with you. You became the one when there was bad blood. What i'll advice is that this is the moment you need to start thinking with your head and not your heart. She feels vulnerable as she is remorseful. Stamp your foot for what you want and what you don't want. Be the man. If you don't have kids yet, delay it till later. She needs to start seeing and regarding you as her crown

another marriage problem, in this case you saw it coming so I will advise you since marriage is for better , for worse and you already know that this day will come .please forgive her and make her live her life indebted to you to know if she will change , is better you give her 2nd chance in as much as one is usually sorry when caught in the act . But your wife wickedooo , making you to suffer while she is enjoying, although is blc you are her 2nd choice, is bound to happen

OP made a huge mistake in marrying that lady,she left for two months,came back and you accepted her.i That is the biggest mistake any man can make with a woman. I just experienced a similar situation, my now ex gf we dated for 4 years she just made up excuses formed fight and she left me, i begged tire for what I didn't even do, my family and friends appealed to her she didn't answer anybody.

After 4 months she now used style to send her friend to enter me to know whats up with me before she herself now messaged on whatsapp and called me. I told her straight and blasted her on phone "So you have gone to meet another guy wey parole you,probably he has left you,you are running back to me" I can never accept such a lady that has gone for more than a month.

Eeyaaa. you should have let her go at first na...when her activities then showed she never loved you ...at this stage I actually don't believe in divorce in married and never will I encourage it..my advice is that you go to Jesus in Prayer ...prayer that she should love you ,,when she loves you genuinely every thin will fall into place and while praying try do things that will make like you things that will make love you so much...find out the things she like or loves do those things for her

pizzylee:
I guess my advice z too late...no need to bring it to NL, from wat I see u clearly love her,enlarge ur heart n forgive n see if relli she has changed

Itz doesnt work dat way... quit remains d option dan remaining a doormat..

Sorry o..but according to the Yoruba bible, you're the classic definition of a mumu...you are not even ashamed to come here and tell us you're still with the olosho..anyway enjoy yaself wetin consine me

ademola2017:
Hi Nairalanders,

I am in a state of dilemma as my marriage is shaking.

Before we got married, my wife treated me like a piece of shit and never gave me any regards or attention. Any little quarrel would be blown out of proportion and wouldn't talk to me for days. I did the calling always and each time I ask her why she doesn't call, she would say I should get used to it. There was a day when a baseless quarrel occurred, she accused me falsely and we didn't talk for more than two months. I stayed single and was already moving on until her friend came begging on her behalf. I wondered why she didn't come herself but all the same I accepted her back. She changed like she was doing me favor but I still persisted because I loved her genuinely.

Fast forward, we got married and I was hoping for a good future with her. As usual I was very open to her and discussed every issues with her. At a point, I found out the marriage was one sided. I gave more but got little or nothing from her. I never burden her with house chores or cooking at all. We sat always to talk about her attitude but she would say things are fine while I will be grieving and having sleepless nights. She will wake up in the middle of the night to check my phone to know if i was cheating. I swear I have never cheated on my wife... She knows my password and never hid anything from her.
As we went on in the marriage, her behavior became worse and couldn't condone it again. She never saw anything wrong with her attitude and would say her apologizes are expensive.

I decided to do a background check on her and found out she double dated all through when we started dating and gave the guy more attention for 2years of our relationship. When things went bad between them, she fell back to me and unknown to me, I accepted her back. She and her ex were still in good communication till the night I confronted her. She would rather confide in her ex than confide in me (Now husband) Now, I feel so hurt, betrayed and used and can’t trust her again.

She has been very apologetic and says she is ready to change. So if had not found out about her double ways, I will still be condoning her insolent ways. I am seriously finding it hard in my heart to forgive her. Even if I do, I can never ever forget because I do not trust her again.

What will you guys advice?

NA YOUR fAT lUCK

robotix:
Do you have any child from the marriage? If no, I would say END that marriage for your own good. Most woman don't appreciate your type except you do the opposite.

Being good to women is alien to them.

@Olubee22, can you see what I was saying? Now tell me where this brother went wrong?

currently going tru something like this but d opposite... God help me cuz I see myself divorcing soon...

sexy74:
Don't tell someone to do that you will not do.
Is he supposed to be the last call always?
some questions for u to answer:
Do you have kids
if yes how many
If no, and you know you can't tolerate her let her go.
If you can tolerate stay with her and never discus any thing reasonable with her, all you do with her should be formal.
My candid advice.

What if itz a man doing d opposite to his wife and she has just a child, watz ur advice? Am going tru somethinh very similar and it hurts...

Olubee22:
It's obvious Op was just a back up plan and the ex was the real deal.

It applies to both men and women jare. I'm sure what she did ,some guy somewhere is doing the same thing .

He just fell for the wrong person but also had his faults like why would he take her back? To make matters worse, her friends pleaded on her behalf like she didn't feel sorry at all. It has always been one sided and he failed to see or chose to ignore it

If the marriage is yet to produce a child ,he should bounce .if otherwise ,he should give her a space and take some time to think it through.

Hmmmmmmm... You have a point. Bless you.

Benignasweety:
currently going tru something like this but d opposite... God help me cuz I see myself divorcing soon...

if you don't have a child yet, end it. I am a strong supporter of your happiness should come first.

Oga abeg Park well. To me, it's like you forced yourself on her. You better carry your cross like that. Forgive her and move ahead. You went into the relationship without thinking well

ademola2017:
Hi Nairalanders,

I am in a state of dilemma as my marriage is shaking.

Before we got married, my wife treated me like a piece of shit and never gave me any regards or attention. Any little quarrel would be blown out of proportion and wouldn't talk to me for days. I did the calling always and each time I ask her why she doesn't call, she would say I should get used to it. There was a day when a baseless quarrel occurred, she accused me falsely and we didn't talk for more than two months. I stayed single and was already moving on until her friend came begging on her behalf. I wondered why she didn't come herself but all the same I accepted her back. She changed like she was doing me favor but I still persisted because I loved her genuinely.

Fast forward, we got married and I was hoping for a good future with her. As usual I was very open to her and discussed every issues with her. At a point, I found out the marriage was one sided. I gave more but got little or nothing from her. I never burden her with house chores or cooking at all. We sat always to talk about her attitude but she would say things are fine while I will be grieving and having sleepless nights. She will wake up in the middle of the night to check my phone to know if i was cheating. I swear I have never cheated on my wife... She knows my password and never hid anything from her.
As we went on in the marriage, her behavior became worse and couldn't condone it again. She never saw anything wrong with her attitude and would say her apologizes are expensive.

I decided to do a background check on her and found out she double dated all through when we started dating and gave the guy more attention for 2years of our relationship. When things went bad between them, she fell back to me and unknown to me, I accepted her back. She and her ex were still in good communication till the night I confronted her. She would rather confide in her ex than confide in me (Now husband) Now, I feel so hurt, betrayed and used and can’t trust her again.

She has been very apologetic and says she is ready to change. So if had not found out about her double ways, I will still be condoning her insolent ways. I am seriously finding it hard in my heart to forgive her. Even if I do, I can never ever forget because I do not trust her again.

What will you guys advice?

I have learnt my lessons. "once she leaves, or make up excuses that you should give her breathing space, man let her go, may God grant man the heart to bear the pain of breaking up." Girls can be so trickish, always having a side rider. And giving the main man a disturbing sleepless night.
Dont get trapped in fake love. Dont be deceived into marriage (it becomes an everlasting stigma).

NgoziOkoli:
This one that has evil mind by stalking and snitching on her fellow nl ladies too is talking about Common sense.


Trying to sound innocent right? Your evilness will always expose you as the traitor you are!

chibekem...see weitin una dey do for here...girls I swear dem be shit except ladies