SmellingAnus:
You are already married to her so you better forgive her and move on

But many girls are guilty of this stuff...

Guys too should learn how to treat their girls with much love and respect, who knows it may reduce some of these tendencies in them...

Bloody sissy

You've been played properly bro. Sorry o.

ademola2017:
Hi Nairalanders,

I am in a state of dilemma as my marriage is shaking.

Before we got married, my wife treated me like a piece of shit and never gave me any regards or attention. Any little quarrel would be blown out of proportion and wouldn't talk to me for days. I did the calling always and each time I ask her why she doesn't call, she would say I should get used to it. There was a day when a baseless quarrel occurred, she accused me falsely and we didn't talk for more than two months. I stayed single and was already moving on until her friend came begging on her behalf. I wondered why she didn't come herself but all the same I accepted her back. She changed like she was doing me favor but I still persisted because I loved her genuinely.

Fast forward, we got married and I was hoping for a good future with her. As usual I was very open to her and discussed every issues with her. At a point, I found out the marriage was one sided. I gave more but got little or nothing from her. I never burden her with house chores or cooking at all. We sat always to talk about her attitude but she would say things are fine while I will be grieving and having sleepless nights. She will wake up in the middle of the night to check my phone to know if i was cheating. I swear I have never cheated on my wife... She knows my password and never hid anything from her.
As we went on in the marriage, her behavior became worse and couldn't condone it again. She never saw anything wrong with her attitude and would say her apologizes are expensive.

I decided to do a background check on her and found out she double dated all through when we started dating and gave the guy more attention for 2years of our relationship. When things went bad between them, she fell back to me and unknown to me, I accepted her back. She and her ex were still in good communication till the night I confronted her. She would rather confide in her ex than confide in me (Now husband) Now, I feel so hurt, betrayed and used and can’t trust her again.

She has been very apologetic and says she is ready to change. So if had not found out about her double ways, I will still be condoning her insolent ways. I am seriously finding it hard in my heart to forgive her. Even if I do, I can never ever forget because I do not trust her again.

What will you guys advice?

ademola2017:
Hi Nairalanders,

I am in a state of dilemma as my marriage is shaking.

Before we got married, my wife treated me like a piece of shit and never gave me any regards or attention. Any little quarrel would be blown out of proportion and wouldn't talk to me for days. I did the calling always and each time I ask her why she doesn't call, she would say I should get used to it. There was a day when a baseless quarrel occurred, she accused me falsely and we didn't talk for more than two months. I stayed single and was already moving on until her friend came begging on her behalf. I wondered why she didn't come herself but all the same I accepted her back. She changed like she was doing me favor but I still persisted because I loved her genuinely.

Fast forward, we got married and I was hoping for a good future with her. As usual I was very open to her and discussed every issues with her. At a point, I found out the marriage was one sided. I gave more but got little or nothing from her. I never burden her with house chores or cooking at all. We sat always to talk about her attitude but she would say things are fine while I will be grieving and having sleepless nights. She will wake up in the middle of the night to check my phone to know if i was cheating. I swear I have never cheated on my wife... She knows my password and never hid anything from her.
As we went on in the marriage, her behavior became worse and couldn't condone it again. She never saw anything wrong with her attitude and would say her apologizes are expensive.

I decided to do a background check on her and found out she double dated all through when we started dating and gave the guy more attention for 2years of our relationship. When things went bad between them, she fell back to me and unknown to me, I accepted her back. She and her ex were still in good communication till the night I confronted her. She would rather confide in her ex than confide in me (Now husband) Now, I feel so hurt, betrayed and used and can’t trust her again.

She has been very apologetic and says she is ready to change. So if had not found out about her double ways, I will still be condoning her insolent ways. I am seriously finding it hard in my heart to forgive her. Even if I do, I can never ever forget because I do not trust her again.

What will you guys advice?

Honestly if you ask me i will say give her the chance to prove herself forgive her see how it goes.You knw y? cus i ones confide in my ex too and my husband finds out i appologize and since then we are good. So call ur wife sit her down settle it,Comminication is very essential in any marriage.
Check yourself hope u are not the reason why she is seeking for comfort in another man's arm

ademola2017:
Hi Nairalanders,

I am in a state of dilemma as my marriage is shaking.

Before we got married, my wife treated me like a piece of shit and never gave me any regards or attention. Any little quarrel would be blown out of proportion and wouldn't talk to me for days. I did the calling always and each time I ask her why she doesn't call, she would say I should get used to it. There was a day when a baseless quarrel occurred, she accused me falsely and we didn't talk for more than two months. I stayed single and was already moving on until her friend came begging on her behalf. I wondered why she didn't come herself but all the same I accepted her back. She changed like she was doing me favor but I still persisted because I loved her genuinely.

Fast forward, we got married and I was hoping for a good future with her. As usual I was very open to her and discussed every issues with her. At a point, I found out the marriage was one sided. I gave more but got little or nothing from her. I never burden her with house chores or cooking at all. We sat always to talk about her attitude but she would say things are fine while I will be grieving and having sleepless nights. She will wake up in the middle of the night to check my phone to know if i was cheating. I swear I have never cheated on my wife... She knows my password and never hid anything from her.
As we went on in the marriage, her behavior became worse and couldn't condone it again. She never saw anything wrong with her attitude and would say her apologizes are expensive.

I decided to do a background check on her and found out she double dated all through when we started dating and gave the guy more attention for 2years of our relationship. When things went bad between them, she fell back to me and unknown to me, I accepted her back. She and her ex were still in good communication till the night I confronted her. She would rather confide in her ex than confide in me (Now husband) Now, I feel so hurt, betrayed and used and can’t trust her again.

She has been very apologetic and says she is ready to change. So if had not found out about her double ways, I will still be condoning her insolent ways. I am seriously finding it hard in my heart to forgive her. Even if I do, I can never ever forget because I do not trust her again.

What will you guys advice?

U married another mans wife and you must pay for it

robotix:
if you don't have a child yet, end it. I am a strong supporter of your happiness should come first.

Am heavy and expecting

Mtcheeeew, I'm so tempted to call you ode.

Splinz:


Since she's remorseful and willing to change, please, e jo, mbok, forgive and forget.

We're all humans after all. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

ibomite!!!

ademola2017:
Hi Nairalanders,

I am in a state of dilemma as my marriage is shaking.

Before we got married, my wife treated me like a piece of shit and never gave me any regards or attention. Any little quarrel would be blown out of proportion and wouldn't talk to me for days. I did the calling always and each time I ask her why she doesn't call, she would say I should get used to it. There was a day when a baseless quarrel occurred, she accused me falsely and we didn't talk for more than two months. I stayed single and was already moving on until her friend came begging on her behalf. I wondered why she didn't come herself but all the same I accepted her back. She changed like she was doing me favor but I still persisted because I loved her genuinely.

Fast forward, we got married and I was hoping for a good future with her. As usual I was very open to her and discussed every issues with her. At a point, I found out the marriage was one sided. I gave more but got little or nothing from her. I never burden her with house chores or cooking at all. We sat always to talk about her attitude but she would say things are fine while I will be grieving and having sleepless nights. She will wake up in the middle of the night to check my phone to know if i was cheating. I swear I have never cheated on my wife... She knows my password and never hid anything from her.
As we went on in the marriage, her behavior became worse and couldn't condone it again. She never saw anything wrong with her attitude and would say her apologizes are expensive.

I decided to do a background check on her and found out she double dated all through when we started dating and gave the guy more attention for 2years of our relationship. When things went bad between them, she fell back to me and unknown to me, I accepted her back. She and her ex were still in good communication till the night I confronted her. She would rather confide in her ex than confide in me (Now husband) Now, I feel so hurt, betrayed and used and can’t trust her again.

She has been very apologetic and says she is ready to change. So if had not found out about her double ways, I will still be condoning her insolent ways. I am seriously finding it hard in my heart to forgive her. Even if I do, I can never ever forget because I do not trust her again.

What will you guys advice?

Divorce her

Bros, u KNEW all diz issues but u married her anyway, so why d raggae music now?
It's not a mistake u made, it's a decision u took, so live wit it

SNOWCREAM:
Let me add to what most commenters already said.

I feel like saying nasty things to you so you mean you didn't see the signs that you're the side guy? What if you were the main guy? Then you'll never know or suspect she has a side guy. Just carry your cross to Golgotha

Said exactly wah I have in mind... except way less vile.

Romance section kids brought their bullshit to this section and successfully derailed the first two pages.

professorfal:
You saw it coming but were blinded by that crap you call love.

Well said bro.

Dude, cheating people don't have the staying power to effect long lasting change to faithfulness. This is science. Every change attempt is temporary at best. But a traumatic embarrassment can make the temporary change last long, minimum 2 years and they are back at it again. It is a factor of their self-configuration, Self-Sabotaging patterns. It is their drug, their addiction, their comfort zone. My recommendation? If you can cope with a cheating woman and be her cuckold no wahala, if you can't, and I can see you can't, get a divorce, in another 4 years you would be married to a better and more wonderful woman if you make the best use of your intelligence. Sorry bro for the pain.

Benita27:
LMAO. someone will just wake up and start using words on people they barely know the meaning to. I'm still wondering what made me a "Traitor" and a "Snitch" to girls have never spoken to outside nairaland.

The so-called black American Texan girl claimed the black American English is recognised worldwide and I refuted that claims that the black American English is informal and can't be recognised worldwide like the British and American English. The babe said I was ignorant, we exchanged words and stopped quoting one another till date. The so called miss.spicy's case was a situation of a low-life, calling someone else a low-life. Now I wonder how I became a traitor to girls I don't banter words with?.

Indeed, many are mad but few are roaming.

Move on babe, you owe nobody apologies

ifyokwu:
another marriage problem, in this case you saw it coming so I will advise you since marriage is for better , for worse and you already know that this day will come .please forgive her and make her live her life indebted to you to know if she will change , is better you give her 2nd chance in as much as one is usually sorry when caught in the act . But your wife wickedooo , making you to suffer while she is enjoying, although is blc you are her 2nd choice, is bound to happen

If you were made a second choice, how would you react to that.?

Would you accept it.?

Pls let's all talk sense here.

ademola2017:
Hi Nairalanders,

I am in a state of dilemma as my marriage is shaking.

Before we got married, my wife treated me like a piece of shit and never gave me any regards or attention. Any little quarrel would be blown out of proportion and wouldn't talk to me for days. I did the calling always and each time I ask her why she doesn't call, she would say I should get used to it. There was a day when a baseless quarrel occurred, she accused me falsely and we didn't talk for more than two months. I stayed single and was already moving on until her friend came begging on her behalf. I wondered why she didn't come herself but all the same I accepted her back. She changed like she was doing me favor but I still persisted because I loved her genuinely.

Fast forward, we got married and I was hoping for a good future with her. As usual I was very open to her and discussed every issues with her. At a point, I found out the marriage was one sided. I gave more but got little or nothing from her. I never burden her with house chores or cooking at all. We sat always to talk about her attitude but she would say things are fine while I will be grieving and having sleepless nights. She will wake up in the middle of the night to check my phone to know if i was cheating. I swear I have never cheated on my wife... She knows my password and never hid anything from her.
As we went on in the marriage, her behavior became worse and couldn't condone it again. She never saw anything wrong with her attitude and would say her apologizes are expensive.

I decided to do a background check on her and found out she double dated all through when we started dating and gave the guy more attention for 2years of our relationship. When things went bad between them, she fell back to me and unknown to me, I accepted her back. She and her ex were still in good communication till the night I confronted her. She would rather confide in her ex than confide in me (Now husband) Now, I feel so hurt, betrayed and used and can’t trust her again.

She has been very apologetic and says she is ready to change. So if had not found out about her double ways, I will still be condoning her insolent ways. I am seriously finding it hard in my heart to forgive her. Even if I do, I can never ever forget because I do not trust her again.

What will you guys advice?

Hmmmm change indeed,women cant be trusted,simply file for divorce my brother,ur happines is non-negotiable.I once passed thru this kind of trash and i said to myself,if i shld continue with the relationship,i'l never be hapi or love her,so wots the need..!!!

SmellingAnus:
You are already married to her so you better forgive her and move on

But many girls are guilty of this stuff...

Guys too should learn how to treat their girls with much love and respect, who knows it may reduce some of these tendencies in them...

Dude, what are you talking about? You no read the story? He said he treated her right? She did not reciprocate the love and devotion and you are saying "guys too should learn how to treat their girls with much love and respect". Victim blaming is wrong bro.

NgoziOkoli:
This one too want to be forming love doctor. Iranu!

She is right you know? When someone shows you who they really are, believe them the first time.

SNOWCREAM:
Let me add to what most commenters already said.

I feel like saying nasty things to you so you mean you didn't see the signs that you're the side guy? What if you were the main guy? Then you'll never know or suspect she has a side guy. Just carry your cross to Golgotha

Bros, that's why one of the things i like saying is when someone shows you who they really are, believe them the first time.

Splinz:


Since she's remorseful and willing to change, please, e jo, mbok, forgive and forget.

We're all humans after all. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

OP, don't mind all these 'she's remorseful and willing to change' internet preachers....she is only regretting that you caught her period! You remember the last time, you saw a a thieving begging after he/she has been caught? Do you remember what they said? exactly what your wife is saying now...'please I am sorry, forgive me, don't hurt me, I will not do it again!'

It is evident she does not love you, her attention and mind is somewhere else, forgive her now and she will perfect another strategy to hide it from you.

You saw the signs before getting married to her, but you went ahead; kick her out now and thank me later!

Ok

linearity:


OP, don't mind all these 'she's remorseful and willing to change' internet preachers....she is only regretting that you caught her period! You remember the last time, you saw a a thieving begging after he/she has been caught? Do you remember what they said? exactly what your wife is saying now...'please I am sorry, forgive me, don't hurt me, I will not do it again!'

It is evident she does not love you, her attention and mind is somewhere else, forgive her now and she will perfect another strategy to hide it from you.

You saw the signs before getting married to her, but you went ahead; kick her out now and thank me later!

You do have a point sha. He needs to be very careful now and act rationally. I dont think he should be carried away by her ''remorse''. I have a feeling he needs to test her alot. He needs to be sure that she has really changed. However i fear as i know that people hadly change. It takes Gods grace (from personal experience) for people to change their ways. I just feel so concerned for this fellow honestly.
I feel i should ask him these questions: Do you agree you made a mistake marrying her blindly and do you really want to correct your error? Let him take his time 2 answer these questions. I also perceive he needs lots of patience to handle this issue.

ademola2017:
Hi Nairalanders,

I am in a state of dilemma as my marriage is shaking.

Before we got married, my wife treated me like a piece of shit and never gave me any regards or attention. Any little quarrel would be blown out of proportion and wouldn't talk to me for days. I did the calling always and each time I ask her why she doesn't call, she would say I should get used to it. There was a day when a baseless quarrel occurred, she accused me falsely and we didn't talk for more than two months. I stayed single and was already moving on until her friend came begging on her behalf. I wondered why she didn't come herself but all the same I accepted her back. She changed like she was doing me favor but I still persisted because I loved her genuinely.

Fast forward, we got married and I was hoping for a good future with her. As usual I was very open to her and discussed every issues with her. At a point, I found out the marriage was one sided. I gave more but got little or nothing from her. I never burden her with house chores or cooking at all. We sat always to talk about her attitude but she would say things are fine while I will be grieving and having sleepless nights. She will wake up in the middle of the night to check my phone to know if i was cheating. I swear I have never cheated on my wife... She knows my password and never hid anything from her.
As we went on in the marriage, her behavior became worse and couldn't condone it again. She never saw anything wrong with her attitude and would say her apologizes are expensive.

I decided to do a background check on her and found out she double dated all through when we started dating and gave the guy more attention for 2years of our relationship. When things went bad between them, she fell back to me and unknown to me, I accepted her back. She and her ex were still in good communication till the night I confronted her. She would rather confide in her ex than confide in me (Now husband) Now, I feel so hurt, betrayed and used and can’t trust her again.

She has been very apologetic and says she is ready to change. So if had not found out about her double ways, I will still be condoning her insolent ways. I am seriously finding it hard in my heart to forgive her. Even if I do, I can never ever forget because I do not trust her again.

What will you guys advice?

Baba 1st of all you messed up by even marrying her even with her stupid behavior.
2nd I will advice you to breakup than live in misery. Those kinda women find it very very difficult to change for good.

Benita27:
You saw these signs from when you were dating her but ignored them just because you loved her and went on to marry her...Don't be stupid in love! A spouse who can't apologise for her wrongs even when she's aware she's wrong isn't worth keeping. Were you expecting a change?, from a doormat bf to a doormat husband.

did you read the OP post at all?
your last sentence... falls out of point

its so so sad I feel ur pain...it really hurts...make her Jealous...change ur password

i hate to say you saw it coming but what's a man in love going to do other than get blinded by love but these days while in love bro no blind finish keep one eye open...I think I will change my Kamcice..com to a relationship blog lol...
on a more serious note if she cheats on u divorce her if u feel like...u ve the right

but for now like I earlier said make her very jealous...let her become suspicious and see how it feels...but DON'T cheat on her.... read the bible with her.... pray FOR her....visit jw.org download The Book Secret of family happiness or simply request it from Jehovah's Witnesses... try to resd it together...reduce ur chores...treat her a little bit with less love and she will come begging for it if not bro she no like u at all nor feel u...pls keep us posted if this works...happy married life...God is ur Strength

The ex probably would still sleep with her.



This is what happens when you think a girl is doing you a favor by dating you. I call their bluff once I suspect nonsense.




Btw, you better send her away and start your life over again. It's not too late now that you're young. Once you reach a certain age you become sad and forlorn with that evil lady.



Send her away and go for a woman who truly loves you. Only then can you enjoy your life

ademola2017 there's still a way Sir. Though I might need to know a little about your lifestyle and hers.

nkemdi89:
Look at the way most of the ladies are quick to blame him but it's common, having two men in which the one you love doesn't really love you much, while the one you don't love is madly in loving with you. Ladies pray and fast for the former to propose( which will never work) while the latter will. The bottom line is that they accept the latter proposal out of the refusal of the former to propose. She will grow to love you, just continue to remain good, with time she will find out the other man will only be her ex and nothing more.

What?!?!?!?! see reasoning??!?!?!

SalamRushdie:


U married another mans wife and you must pay for it

Yay!!!

I'd there is children between you guys, forgive and forget. Though very hard sha