snapscore:
What are your views on differences in financial status between couples. For example if a man is pious but extremly poor and the lady is from a rich home ( and vice versa), how will that affect the marriage?

If the lady can raise him up, maybe establish him, that's not too bad.....

snapscore:
I used to think that financial status isn't that important because they can always help each other and wealth is from Allah. There are also hadith that speak on picking piety over wealth. However, I have come to realize that finacial status plays alot more than just being able to afford and buy things. For example, it probably played a role in how they were raised and their prospective on life and it could affect their expectations of their spouse.

Imagine a case where a woman who is used to her high standard of living marrying a man who is not that wealthy, therfore she finds it difficult to adapt and they start having arguments because of it.

Finance is very important in marriage and its even one those things that cause issues btw man and wife. However, as per the case study u cited, if the woman is the rich one, she shouldnt let her wealth and financial independence make her blind to the importance of respecting her husband's right over her. She ought to take care of him and honour him regardless of his financial state. It will even be good for her if she spends generously on her husband cos by doing so she'll be receiving two rewards, one for taking care of a family member, and also for giving charity. Regardless of all these, i think its best to marry someone who can fulfil one's financial need.

AbdelKabir:


If the lady can raise him up, maybe establish him, that's not too bad.....

Yeah I agree but what if she can't. What if she married him against her parents wishes or the man believes thay he should establish himself. So she marries him
And

snapscore:

She is used to her high standard of living marrying a man who is not that wealthy, therfore she finds it difficult to adapt and they start having arguments because of it. For example she finds it hard to sleep on a mat or sleep in a mosquito net.

Also I think there might be other arguments not just about finances but other things. For example their expectations of each other and views in life. Say she would like a maid becsuse they can afford it but he belived that would be a waste of money. Or she likes to go on vacations and buy expensive phones or jewelleries but he doesn't agree on that. He believes all that is useless and not important.

snapscore:


Yeah I agree but what if she can't. What if she married him against her parents wishes or the man believes thay he should establish himself. So she marries him
And


Also I think there might be other arguments not just about finances but other things. For example their expectations of each other and views in life. Say she would like a maid becsuse they can afford it but he belived that would be a waste of money. Or she likes to go on vacations and buy expensive phones or jewelleries but he doesn't agree on that. He believes all that is useless and not important.

.

snapscore:


Yeah I agree but what if she can't. What if she married him against her parents wishes or the man believes thay he should establish himself. So she marries him
And


Also I think there might be other arguments not just about finances but other things. For example their expectations of each other and views in life. Say she would like a maid becsuse they can afford it but he belived that would be a waste of money. Or she likes to go on vacations and buy expensive phones or jewelleries but he doesn't agree on that. He believes all that is useless and not important.

If he can afford it, then that's another thing.....but if he can't as the example you cited, then would it be reasonable of the woman to spend money that will wreck the family? where will the money even come from in the first place..

Finance is important and its important to marry someone who can take care of BASIC NEEDS, then when he can provide more than basic needs, he shouldn't be stingy as far as he can afford it, that wouldn't be a waste, Allaah loves it when he blesses his slave and his slave makes it obvious....

AbdelKabir:


If he can afford it, then that's another thing.....but if he can't as the example you cited, then would it be reasonable of the woman to spend money that will wreck the family? where will the money even come from in the first place..

Finance is important and its important to marry someone who can take care of BASIC NEEDS, then when he can provide more than basic needs, he shouldn't be stingy as far as he can afford it, that wouldn't be a waste, Allaah loves it when he blesses his slave and his slave makes it obvious....

He can afford it ( so he is later established) * i think I mentioned that*but based on how he was raised, he seees it as a waste, whereas, it's how the woman was raised and to her its important.

Secondly, wouldn't there be issues if the woman can't fully adapt to the man's lifestyle ( he isn't established here).

snapscore:


He can afford it ( so he is later established) * i think I mentioned that*but based on how he was raised, he seees it as a waste, whereas, it's how the woman was raised and to her its important.

Since he can afford it then it wouldn't be wise to hold it back, if he does and the woman knows he can afford it but doesn't want to....there sure would be problems, maybe when she cooks, she will put legs of chicken for him, or make the semo have lumps, lol.....#joking..

Secondly, wouldn't there be issues if the woman can't fully adapt to the man's lifestyle ( he isn't established here).

The woman saw him before marrying him, why marry him in the first place if he is not "your type", there sure will be problems...

AbdelKabir:


Since he can afford it then it wouldn't be wise to hold it back, if he does and the woman knows he can afford it but doesn't want to....there sure would be problems, maybe when she cooks, she will put legs of chicken for him, or make the semi have lumps, lol.....#joking..


The woman saw him before marrying him, why marry him in the first place if he is not "your type", there sure will be problems...

Okay I have gotten your views.
So its safe to say that finance can play a major role when people with different social status marry. Just as seeking piety is important, it is also important to consider financial status.

Would the case be different if the man is rich and the woman is extremely poor?

snapscore:


Okay I have gotten your views.
So its safe to say that finance can play a major role when people with different social status marry. Just as seeking piety is important, it is also important to consider financial status.

Yep....in fact anything that will keep you from sinning against Allaah with regards to marriage is very important....

With regards to what we discussing now, I forgot to add that, this can't be generalized, it depends on the personality, some women are rich and lived a life of luxury but when they married their husband, they simply adapted... Even if it was difficult for sometime, they adapted...

snapscore:


Would the case be different if the man is rich and the woman is extremely poor?

Most likely yes but again it depends on the person..

AbdelKabir:


Most likely yes but again it depends on the person..

In what way would it be different? I can only speak from a women's prespective because I am a woman. If a man is marrying an extremely poor woman. I can only think that, perhaps, he might be irritated by some of her behaviour and she might feel intimidated by him or his family.

AbdelKabir:


Yep....in fact anything that will keep you from sinning against Allaah with regards to marriage is very important....

With regards to what we discussing now, I forgot to add that, this can't be generalized, it depends on the personality, some women are rich and lived a life of luxury but when they married their husband, they simply adapted... Even if it was difficult for sometime, they adapted...

Yeah I agree.

snapscore:


In what way would it be different?

You know, its the job of the man to provide for a woman, I think there is hardly any woman who wouldn't want her husband to spend on her as far as he can afford it...

Women wants to be cared for and provided for, even if she wasn't brought up with luxury, she would most lily adapt to luxury life...abi who no like better thing?

AbdelKabir:


You know, its the job of the man to provide for a woman, I think there is hardly any woman who wouldn't want her husband to spend on her as far as he can afford it...

Women wants to be cared for and provided for, even if she wasn't brought up with luxury, she would most likely adapt to luxury life...abi who no like better thing?

She might find it difficult to adapt though, especially if she is expected to act a certain way. Jazakallahu Khyran for your contribution.

snapscore:


She might find it difficult to adapt though, especially if she is expected to act a certain way. Jazakallahu Khyran for your contribution.

I don't deny the possibility of her inability to adapt...
But the possibility of that affecting the marriage is very very low, unlike the other case.... This I say because I'm a male, and I know how our minds(the male gender) works....

snapscore:


I can only speak from a women's prespective because I am a woman.

Maybe you should tell us what you think from a woman's side of view regarding an "extremely poor man" marrying a woman who lived a life of luxury....how likely would there be problems?

AbdelKabir:


I don't deny the possibility of her inability to adapt...
But the possibility of that affecting the marriage is very very low, unlike the other case.... This I say because I'm a male, and[b]I know how our minds(the male gender) works[/b]....

AbdelKabir:


Maybe you should tell us what you think from a woman's side of view regarding an "extremely poor man" marrying a woman who lived a life of luxury....how likely would there be problems?

I did.

snapscore:
I used to think that financial status isn't that important because they can always help each other and wealth is from Allah. There are also hadith that speak on picking piety over wealth. However, I have come to realize that finacial status plays alot more than just being able to afford and buy things. For example, it probably played a role in how they were raised and their prospective on life and it could affect their expectations of their spouse.

snapscore:


Yeah I agree but what if she can't. What if she married him against her parents wishes or the man believes thay he should establish himself. So she marries him.

And


Also I think there might be other arguments not just about finances but other things. For example their expectations of each other and views in life. Say she would like a maid becsuse they can afford it but he belived that would be a waste of money. Or she likes to go on vacations and buy expensive phones or jewelleries but he doesn't agree on that. He believes all that is useless and not important.

Jazakallahu khyran sister coccoh for contributing.

snapscore:


I did.

Make it explicit...

AbdelKabir:


Make it explicit...

Modified my previous post.

busar:

I lie? Let me give an example....

A girl you like passes by and sees you doing a job considered "messy", you'll feel awkward and wished she never saw you and the reality is she actually doesn't want to have anything to do with you because she saw you doing that...

But if you were the one that saw her doing that job instead, you that caught her doing that will Still being the one feeling awkward for seeing her because you might feel you've given her a reason to be ashamed of you.....

Now I don't deny the possibility of any man thinking differently.......

snapscore:


Modified my previous post.

OK...seen

BTW

Why are you being lazy to type lately?

AbdelKabir:


OK...seen

BTW

Why are you being lazy to type lately?

I want to sleep now. Plus my laptop has been acting up and I dont know why. I changed the hard disc or drive and it has been acting slow and its freezing all the time. So basically, I have been using my phone and its harder because I am used to typing on Nl with it.

snapscore:


I want to sleep now. Plus my laptop has been acting up. Using my phone now.

Would've asked what happened to it and see if its what you can fix via instructions..... But since you wanna slp now.... Then MAYBE till tomorrow...

AbdelKabir:


Would've asked what happened to it and see if its what you can fix via instructions..... But since you wanna slp now.... Then MAYBE till tomorrow...

Modified my post.

snapscore:


I want to sleep now. Plus my laptop has been acting up and I dont know why. I changed the hard disc or drive and it has been acting slow and its freezing all the time. So basically, I have been using my phone and its harder because I am used to typing on Nl with it.

You changed the hard disk..... Did you reinstalled a fresh windows on it?

AbdelKabir:


You changed the hard disk..... Did you reinstalled a fresh windows on it?

Yea. I think they did and I updated it to window 10.

What courses can I take to become better at understanding computer issues?

I will wait for my uncle to come on Friday. He will probably figure out whats wrong. But i still want an answer to the courses you might recommend.

snapscore:


Yea. I think they did and I updated it to window 10.

What's the size of the RAM in it presently?

You know windows 10 requires up to 3.5gb of ram to be as fast as you want..

You probably were using windows 7 ultimate or windows 8 and it required a lesser RAM hence it was fast before..

What courses can I take to become better at understanding computer issues.

You can go to any ICT institution.... I learnt from a "road side" computer engineer for 1year(don't mind the road side thing, he is pretty good)... The year I was waiting for admission...

AbdelKabir:


What's the size of the family in it presently?

I dunno what that is

[You know windows 10 requires up to 3.5gb of ram to be as fast as you want..

Nope

You probably were using windows 7 ultimate or windows 8 and it required a lesser RAM hence it was fast before.

I originally had a windows 8 when I bought it a few years back but I have been using a windows 10 since when it was released.

You can go to any ICT institution.... I learnt from a "road side" computer engineer for 1year(don't mind the road side thing, he is pretty good)... The year I was waiting for admission...

A whole year? What do you learn in computer engineering?

snapscore:

I dunno what that is

I meant to write RAM not family, I don't know how it changed to family...

Nope

Slowness can be caused by the size of the RAM....so that's why i demanded for the size in it ATM..

I originally had a windows 8 when I bought it a few years back but I have been using a windows 10 since when it was released.

OK....another thing might be virus.... Perhaps you told them You don't want to lose some files and they copied them for you before formatting it, unknown to them they copied a file that had a virus in it, thereby copying it to your system...

A whole year? What do you learn in computer engineering?

Basically, troubleshooting i.e looking for the problem of the computer and think of how it fix it, learn how to change capacitors, resistors and other electrical components in the charger of a laptop or the desktop...

How to clone a new system...

AbdelKabir:


Since he can afford it then it wouldn't be wise to hold it back, if he does and the woman knows he can afford it but doesn't want to....there sure would be problems, maybe when she cooks, she will put legs of chicken for him, or make the semo have lumps, lol.....#joking..



The woman saw him before marrying him, why marry him in the first place if he is not "your type", there sure will be problems...

What's this thread about really?!