AbdelKabir:


Free mixing is surely a problem, carrying the bride and kissing her, emm, they must've done the contract which already made them husband and wife, the traditional wedding is noe considered the "waleemah"

[Yep, but to follow the sunnah, after the contract, they should be a waleemah, where people will be invited, to eat and celebrate with you..... This traditional wedding is what will be considered the waleemah, so avoiding it wouldn't go too well, rather trying as much as possible this avoid the haram in it would be better *I think*...

snapscore:


Carrying and kissing the bride in the full glare of other men and women.

The Waleemah doesnt have to be a traditional wedding. My idea of the waleemah is segregated dinner/lunch where the women have a section to eat, dance and discuss. The men can eat and discuss as well. The waleemah is not an obligation and if doesn't have to invlove sin especially if it can be avoided. I think it will be better to avoid in and start the marriage foundation on goddness especially as it is not an obligation.

Now regarding the pictures, I think its better to inform ppl that phones won't be allowed in the venue so that way no one can take pics.

AbdelKabir:


Oh! You meant this..... This is can be avoided too...

Yep, we are kinda saying the same, when we avoid everything haraam, it becomes what you saying, after the contract, the couple can just prepare food and invite some people to eat and thats also a waleemah...

BTW I thought you were of the opinion that if any part of the body is missing in the picture, then its no longer a picture?

snapscore:

okay. I think opening the door for a traditonal wedding means opening the door for parental and societal pressure and influence. Its much easier to say, me and my wife have decided not to do trad wedding, give a billion exuses and move on, than saying we will do it but avoid music, free mixing, prostration and kneeling, kissing etc.

Yes I do(not just any part of the body but in a way that the person cannot exist in real life. Like for example part of the head not being included or head and shoulder. I am more comfortable with part of the head not being included ).

That being mentioned, I rarely take pics with people especially on a day when women will be uncovered.

Now back to the topic, today my friend was telling me about a wedding she attended last night where the women were told and made to drop their phones

before entering and it was made known prior to the day. I thought it would be helpful to suggest that here just in case it might be beneficial.

AbdelKabir:


True.....but that doesn't mean you can't Cook for people to eat atleast to help celebrate your new status.....and a way of announcing that you are married...

Really? Where is that? Definitely nor Nigeria...

snapscore:


Yeah. That's the segregated dinner/lunch taking the place of traditional wedding.

I have heard about this being done in Nigeria. I think all you need is to be strict, have really good bouncers and not pick calls when people are calling to complain.

AbdelKabir:

Beinh strict to outsiders is pretty easy, but its not really easy with close relatives especially when your own parents don't buy the idea.....perhaps because they don't understand the sunnah....

snapscore:


I agree which is why its easier if the couples agree together. We can always try to explain amd ask Allah to grant them understanding. After that I doubt there is much that can be done. It is important to understand thay there is no obidience if it invloves disobedience to Allah. Parents might be angry for a while but it won't last long usually especially if you show them love and care afterwards. This is another reason why I think its much easier to avoid the whole thing all together.

onegig:
Nose rings or piercing is a big turn off.

As for not taking pictures or not allowing it during a weddimg procession.

Personally i believe that's a bit on the extreme side of things. I understand if you want something reserved and all those ish but like seriously. ..not a single image taken? Hmm.


Question is who would venerate a wedding pic or bow down to and ascribe to worship a wedding pic? Who?

You aren't hanging it around the house, printing it on clothes for prayers or the likes.

The hadith on images is even open to debate but It's not something i would want to even discuss as i am not an really cast out for such as of now.

STOLEN

(PROFESSOR HASSAN ABUBAKAR)
DEAR YOUNG GUYS and LADIES
MISTAKE YOU MUST NOT MAKE:
Marry now with the little you have. Don't wait to be a millionaire, Have kids early so they grow along with you. Grow with your spouse and kids and succeed with them. Start your life now as you might still not succeed at your target age.
Many people have waited to make so much money before they get married, years later money has refused to come, still no wife, no kids.
When you've found true love don't hesitate waiting for money, it may mean waiting till eternity.
So many young guys are pretending not to be financially buoyant enough to marry but are already living couples life, so many girls are even wasting away on our streets as intimacy gadgets for men old enough to be their grandfather still they tell you they are not matured enough for marriage.
When you marry early, you get preoccupied with your spouse and not end up as "pubic utility " for all and sundry, good enough your kids grow along with you. Stop looking for a "ready made" spouse, work your spouse's success with him/her grow your wealth together it gives you a sense of belonging and you'll have a say.
If you have means, pls marry early, don't wait till you see your friends' kids graduating while you still have yours in kindergarten classes, don't wait to be 60 years and you still have kids in elementary school, don't have kids young enough to be your grandchildren.
Contentment comes not from much wealth but fewer wants, don't wait to buy Range Sport or build Mansions before you start you matrimony, ask your parents where and how they started, you'll see that you're even better off.
Trust me, it isn't MONEY that brings happiness but CONTENTMENT, be happy with the little you've got, grow with your spouse and pray for more.
For the ladies, why wait?, when it's even detrimental to your health to bear children late, why not do the needful while still at your prime?, very many who are waiting for "Mr Rich"
ended up as second wife, single parent, baby-Mama, very many never even married.
Don't be deceived waiting for that man who can afford Peruvian wig, designer bags and cutest of wears, those guys are non existent else you'll end up as money ritual material.
Pls young guys, take my advice seriously, settle down early, don't delay yourself waiting for a big society wedding, the ceremony is just few hours while marriage is lifetime, no matter how much you spend on wedding ceremony, yours won't be the best and no matter how little you can afford, yours won't be the worst, you'll always be somewhere in-between, so why worry yourself?.
Take this as sincere advise from me.

AbdelKabir:
Lol.....zobo(with ginger) and cabin biscuit loading....

busar:
SMHFY.... Kuku add kulikuli too

busar:
May Allah make it easy...... Finally, rice is loading..... ...

With Asun, eja panla, eja aro, egbin.... Wetin again?

Demmzy15:
With Asun, eja panla, eja aro, egbin.... Wetin again?

AbdelKabir:


No be only egbin na dirty......igbin

It has do woo

Demmzy15:
It has do woo

AbdelKabir:


Gerarahia

Go and marry!!

Demmzy15:
Go and marry!!

snapscore:
What are your views on differences in financial status between couples. For example if a man is pious but extremly poor and the lady is from a rich home ( and vice versa), how will that affect the marriage?

Coccoh:


Extremely poor