₦airaland Forum

queenbetsy:
noted! I just found what I've been seriously looking for...

Toks2008:
You ask an obviously unmarried lady out and she says "sorry I'm in a relationship" and many ladies will quickly change their status on their social media handle to...."in a relationship or Engaged" ...worse still some will go as far as putting up the pics of a man who is not yet officially theirs and I keep wondering what goes on in the minds of some ladies ..

Shall we call that being faithful or being naive?

Every lady reading this should wake up and understand that until a man is officially married to you,he can not be trusted in anyway and that a man is even engaged to you does not guaranty marriage

Each time you tell a guy who asks you out that you are taken while still unmarried,you are simply shutting the door on yourself too soon and many ladies have shut out their husbands simply because they got carried away by an unserious man who is only good at mouthing their love and giving them forlorn hope.

Don't get it twisted, this is not about being unfaithful to that particular guy you truly desire but it is about tactfully leaving your options open by not flaunting him on or offline thereby driving away possibly more willing suitors.

Many ladies remain taken for years without wedding bells and I have seen several ladies who have been engaged for years.

The bottom line is that you should stop flaunting any guy you are courting and only flaunt your husband

Ladies should stop blocking their chance cos In the real world...there is no in between and there is no such word like "I'm taken" while you are still unmarried.

You are either single or married

Don't know if this makes sense.

pocohantas:
Oh Lawd!
Which rule women go follow now...I done confuse sef.

https://www.nairaland.com/3753080/get-marriage-proposal-women-should <<<This thread was trying to say same thing...women should keep their options open, though it advised women to sleep with multiple men, which is wrong. Without reading through or getting its implicit meaning, lots of people started bashing, calling it advanced oloshoism.

I don't support unnecessary flaunting, but I am all for full concentration is a relationship. When you keep the so called options open, you make room from distractions. Humans are emotional beings...slowly, things begin to go wrong.

obi58:
Buffoon. It's pple like you who promote infidelity in relationships

Toks2008:
Every lady reading this should wake up and understand that until a man is officially married to you,he can not be trusted in anyway and that a man is even engaged to you does not guaranty marriage [/b]

2dugged:
just like the op has stated, this is one of the things causing delayed marriages in women, I remember a relationship expert talking about keeping your options open, from experience, I remember about 4 guys I turned down for my ex,infact I didn't even want to be friends with them cos in my naive little mind, I didn't want to "emotionally cheat", and now, they are married and my ex and I broke up.
ladies wise up, a man who is ready doesn't need a decade to consult his ancestors if you are the one or not,that's a fact,If after two years,he not showing signs of commitment, throw him the question and if his answer isn't satisfactory, walk away o

Chommieblaq:
I might agree with the over flaunting of pictures but not with option part.
It's just like stringing two people along. You might end up loosing all.
Na so unfaithfulness dey take start, unnecessary comparison and confusion.
No one is perfect, know what you want and stick to it.

WORLDPEACE:
Instead of keeping your options open when you are already in a relationship why don't you instead be sure the person is ready for marriage before you date him. If he does not take the step in a short time after the dating has begun you free him. That way you don't cheat on anyone. All this keeping options open is just another way of encouraging women to be female dogs. I know a girl with this mentality who thinks she is dating my friend meanwhile we know she has a bunch of other guys she is also dating. She came to visit and he slept with her and after that he has not been able to get into her pants again, but it does not change the fact that he has had his way once. This while she was surely sleeping with other people.
However another friend of mine got married 2015. What impressed him and myself including was the fact that when he met his wife she said she was with someone and she did not want to double date. She told my friend not to call her that she would call him only after she had ended that relationship. That was exactly what she did. They did not even speak on the phone once during the weeks before she ended the relationship. We both valued her for it and she was taken seriously by him. He was not even looking for a wife but my guy was just impressed by her values. All this keeping your options open just muddies up the water and make women loose their values.

darbeelicous:
hehehe..... FTC.... Oya, fire down!

coming back to modify

*modified*

ehen, oga toks2008 we don't call it "faithful" or "naive" its a simple 4letter word called LOVE. Call me naive, but women are multipliers, they multiply whatever you give to them and return it in manifold. When u genuinely love your woman, she multiplies it and gives u double in return, but when u show her hatred, sorry for u! So op, nice write up but it doesn't work in most cases! Most times when you're sure of what u want you go for it overlooking other options u may possibly have!

My opinion though! And btw, IM TAKEN!!

pepemendy:
foolish girls plenty 4 naija sotey, I met one fool last month, I neva woo her she don day tell me say she get boo, I con free the idiot, this lovely morning she just call say she won greet me, I told her too come over to my place so we can talk better, I fvck the biitch twice

Yewandequeen:
Just a week..

Toks2008:
You ask an obviously unmarried lady out and she says "sorry I'm in a relationship" and many ladies will quickly change their status on their social media handle to...."in a relationship or Engaged" ...worse still some will go as far as putting up the pics of a man who is not yet officially theirs and I keep wondering what goes on in the minds of some ladies ..

Shall we call that being faithful or being naive?

Every lady reading this should wake up and understand that until a man is officially married to you,he can not be trusted in anyway and that a man is even engaged to you does not guaranty marriage

Each time you tell a guy who asks you out that you are taken while still unmarried,you are simply shutting the door on yourself too soon and many ladies have shut out their husbands simply because they got carried away by an unserious man who is only good at mouthing their love and giving them forlorn hope.

Don't get it twisted, this is not about being unfaithful to that particular guy you truly desire but it is about tactfully leaving your options open by not flaunting him on or offline thereby driving away possibly more willing suitors.

Many ladies remain taken for years without wedding bells and I have seen several ladies who have been engaged for years.

The bottom line is that you should stop flaunting any guy you are courting and only flaunt your husband

Ladies should stop blocking their chance cos In the real world...there is no in between and there is no such word like "I'm taken" while you are still unmarried.

You are either single or married

Don't know if this makes sense.

firstking01:
Hmmmm, i think the write up is a food for thought for the ladies but op, telling a nigerian girl this is just like coming to say that lionel messi is better than ronaldo which is the blunt truth and far too obvious to argue about...i always tell my female colleagues, until a man pays your bride price still keep your options open...i don't even know were this engagement, dating and courting thing came from sef cos it's not even in the bible....in the olden days if you see a young damsel/virgin(as it's what they used to adress a young girl in the days of our fathers and mothers), you just make enquiry about her parents and before you know you guys are getting married....and most times you are only meant to see each other on an approval by both parents not to talk of having sex, but today the world don spoil.

DIKEnaWAR:
You are just naive, bitter and pained with that rejection. Go for another lady, she is not the only one. Instead you came here to open a disgraceful thread. If that girl that told you she was taken(that made you open this nonsense thread)had agreed for you, I am sure you'd have asked her to sample your picture upandan.

Maturity is learning to hurt quietly and bravely. Now apologise to your family for disgracing their name and money wasted on you.

davidif:
Pathetic thread. Encouraging women to cheat. How low of you.

Its no wonder so many women are confused when its time to settle down: they have been playing the field for so long forgetting that a life of deceit eventually comes to bite you.

Toks2008:
Lol! so you are not smart enough to know that you don't have to cheat to keep your option open...this is serious...Smartness is a gift only few people have.

Quinn22:
There's nothing wrong in saying "I'm taken".....It simply means i'm in a relationship, they are boundaries, we can only be friends, no hard feelings.

davidif:
So its fine for your girl to be dating you and 3 other guys at the same time because she wants to "keep her options open?".

Toks2008:
You ask an obviously unmarried lady out and she says "sorry I'm in a relationship" and many ladies will quickly change their status on their social media handle to...."in a relationship or Engaged" ...worse still some will go as far as putting up the pics of a man who is not yet officially theirs and I keep wondering what goes on in the minds of some ladies ..

Shall we call that being faithful or being naive?

Every lady reading this should wake up and understand that until a man is officially married to you,he can not be trusted in anyway and that a man is even engaged to you does not guaranty marriage

Each time you tell a guy who asks you out that you are taken while still unmarried,you are simply shutting the door on yourself too soon and many ladies have shut out their husbands simply because they got carried away by an unserious man who is only good at mouthing their love and giving them forlorn hope.

Don't get it twisted, this is not about being unfaithful to that particular guy you truly desire but it is about tactfully leaving your options open by not flaunting him on or offline thereby driving away possibly more willing suitors.

Many ladies remain taken for years without wedding bells and I have seen several ladies who have been engaged for years.

The bottom line is that you should stop flaunting any guy you are courting and only flaunt your husband

Ladies should stop blocking their chance cos In the real world...there is no in between and there is no such word like "I'm taken" while you are still unmarried.

You are either single or married

Don't know if this makes sense.

darbeelicous:
hehehe..... FTC.... Oya, fire down!

coming back to modify

*modified*

ehen, oga toks2008 we don't call it "faithful" or "naive" its a simple 4letter word called LOVE. Call me naive, but women are multipliers, they multiply whatever you give to them and return it in manifold. When u genuinely love your woman, she multiplies it and gives u double in return, but when u show her hatred, sorry for u! So op, nice write up but it doesn't work in most cases! Most times when you're sure of what u want you go for it overlooking other options u may possibly have!

My opinion though! And btw, IM TAKEN!!

Jay1F:
...

virtuedagirl:
This is serious o,if we are in a relationship & someone else comes,pls Op what should be our reply?Most time when you try to keep your options open the guy will be complaining

Impeller:
No matter how handsome a guy is, he can never get likes for his profile picture on nairaland.

AreaFada2:
Girls already know this and many are playing it accordingly.

This year alone, I know 6 girls who have married almost suddenly. Only one of them I even knew had a boyfriend, not even fiance.

One just plastered her social media wall with marriage pics last Saturday. Her bf pic appeared on her wall just a week ago. Methinks the must have been dating for at least months if not years.

The advice the OP suggests have negative consequences. Like girls keeping several "insurance" side dudes. The keep them tagging along, she'd grant occasional sexual favours. Maybe once a month or so.

That may contribute to the already high rate of firstborn kids belonging to another man outside. Since she might keep doing it until just before marriage. A baby born 9 months later can belong to anyone.

Toks2008:
If you are not smart enough to know that a lady can be with just a guy yet tactfully keep her options open then I'm sorry I can't help you out.

The mistake many ladies make is that they lack the ability to maintain surface friendship but once they are into one guy...to them every other guy does not exist which should not be so...

AreaFada2:
Girls already know this and many are playing it accordingly.

This year alone, I know 6 girls who have married almost suddenly. Only one of them I even knew had a boyfriend, not even fiance.

One just plastered her social media wall with marriage pics last Saturday. Her bf pic appeared on her wall just a week ago. Methinks the must have been dating for at least months if not years.

The advice the OP suggests have negative consequences. Like girls keeping several "insurance" side dudes. The keep them tagging along, she'd grant occasional sexual favours. Maybe once a month or so.

That may contribute to the already high rate of firstborn kids belonging to another man outside. Since she might keep doing it until just before marriage. A baby born 9 months later can belong to anyone.

tosyne2much:
Egbon Toks, I need someone who can counter this thread.. I mean "when a guy says, I'm taken"