₦airaland Forum

adam500hr:
Hi nlanders, great morning to you all, of recent, have been suspecting my wife. She suddenly asked me for over 2million to pay rent for a new place to continue her biz, in which I declined for good reasons, because the place I had set up for her is just a year old and I spent alot on another mans property, yet no profit has even come out of the biz to even say it services part of the family's responsibility. Knowing fully well I rarely say no to her request, she felt more bad that I insisted on the decline. Infact she told me she was going to take a loan, I said if she does, my hand nor dey there, I said she should have patience like a year more that I will finance it, but she keeps saying the vacancy she saw is an opportunity that she does not want to lose it, I still maintained my decision of declining.


One night, she said she'll need my psychological support on the loan she wants to take, I replied that I cannot offer psych support on what I disagree upon, then she said I dont want to help her at all, that how much did I even spend for the first business, that is it up to 2 million, in which I spent more than. At that moment, I knew the wife I married was an ungrateful one, I just told her point blank that she should go for the loan and loan more to fix the place and buy everything she needs, then after she repays the loan, I'll blv shes a true business man and that I'll financially support anything she decides to do thereafter. She said well, I am scared of the loan, but she'll by whatever means get the money, I replied saying, whatever means u plan on getting it, make sure its clean.

Few days after, I figured out shes no longer interested in orgasm during sex, she just gives me and thats it, I already knew shes probably thinking too much and overworking herself to bring about a solution to where the money was gonna come out from, so I asked her why she has not been interested in orgasm, she said I should know that shes been working on some "BLOW JOBS" say what? She said u know have been working on some projects to get money to continue the biz, I said but u just said Mouth Action, she no I didnt say anything as such, Nlanders, If I lie make i nor see better, that was what came outta her mouth, but I am not concluding anything, just that its strange for such mistake to have been spewed. Though I got suspicious and decided to follow up on her. She has been talking to someone in secret, when she sees me she stylishly and quickly hang up. So I decided to make a very risky and rash move, that would either pay off, or ruin things. I yelled I know what u have been doing, you are a hoe that can never be trusted, that I think am done with this marriage. She got really worried that why would i call her such bla bla, she could not sleep that day, that gave me more reason to feel sumtin is probably going down, next day she sends me a text saying for me to keep calling her a hoe that she must have done something that warrants itm but she does not want to be referred ti as that anymore, and there is something am not telling her though.

I told her, I will break the news of what I know when the time is right, she then replied after two days of emotional trauma that she has finally decided to take the bold step to make my life and hers easy, she dont intend to create no drama, that all she needs me to do to avoid her getting any embarrassment from me, (what she meant is not letting people know why am calling her a hoe) is she wants me to let her know the terms and conditions with the kids and any other thing i think she should know before-hand. She also stated she would have loved to stay for her kids, but her emotions and health is failing her.

Nlanders, though I took a big risk, but isnt my confrontation with just 40% proof brought about a revelation that something has indeed happened from her response? I need candid response here as I am about to take my own decision, I cant stand a cheating wife biko.

Hello OP. I read your post and I'm truly sorry that you are having a difficult time in your marriage.

I can't say I agree with your decision to air your wife's dirty laundry on social media and have strangers slug insults on the mother of your children. If not for anything at least have some respect for your marriage.

I believe what is needed here is leadership. You are the head of your family. This is not the time to cut tail and run. Marriage is not always going to be "sweet". Don't allow instagram weddings deceive you.
Marriage as with most things in life come with the good and the bad.

Stay and lead your family.
Cheers.

adam500hr:
I was a mere 27 yr old man with little or no change when we met. I was ok, but not to the point of having a woman rate me as rich or having then. Dont get it twisted, every woman get their own, na just the level of their ways different. What happened to me can happen to anybody, this is not tales by moonlight, na tales od day light.

Op from your story there is something much more going on besides cheating on u.
I won't advice u to leave her.
U better brace up cuz in the next couple of weeks Ur world wil be rocked,it will define Ur marriage.
Kindly contact me via the number on my signature let's talk.

pesinfada:
please help me with d app

Phonty.com

Cellphone monitoring software

Omotayor123:
you are on point. these men don't know women at all.

she's not cheating just trying to make her husband do the needful.

If this is how modern day women behave, then it's safe to say a lot of parents have failed in their job of raising responsible kids.

GodnGold:
But that lady is brilliant sha.

She is not cheating...she is only working on your mind.

I repeat...she is not cheating...mind games.

Now,play the fool card,bro,the olodo card.

Beg her,tell her how sorry you are, be more olodotic about it by shedding so many shoulder vibrating tears with phlegm oozing out of your nostrils...yes...those tears.

Now,buy something for her and promise to help her with the money ...SOON!

Peace restored at SOON!

Then few days later ...you got her at cloud 99,tell her a touchy tale as to why you can't raise the money.

Be sorry man,Show pain,loose your sleep about it, you feel me?

Let her see the worry on your face but bro,don't you ever agree to do the loan thingy with her bro.

We women can drag one yonder if they let us...I warn you...do not agree...And remember...Show thy pain...let it be written all over you!

You owe me you know.

brilliant my foot, a child in a woman's body you mean......I pity that woman wey go follow try drama o.......btw I don't get what crying would yield cos it would be way better if they could have a mature conversation.

oh God help me when I am ready to get married, a mature lady who is ready to have a conversation rather than playing some stupid childish drama I pray......how I hate drama so much!!!

Get a private investigator to trail her, whatever comes out of it, make your decision when you are not angry or tensed. Such cases have led to the untimely death of some men. Marriage is not a do or die thing. Cheers.

I see great deal of immaturity in your actions. No harm meant. The major problem in your marriage is lack of proper communication . who says you can't pet her to understand why it's not time to dole about another money for the ailing business? Who says you should not buy a drink for you guys on that cool evening or her favorite dress that evening to say this is not my Ronde, sit down honey let's talk, what's the problem. You have no problem bro just that you may be too young in this game. Be on top of your game bro.
Call your wife and talk things over with her.

adam500hr:
Hi nlanders, great morning to you all, of recent, have been suspecting my wife. She suddenly asked me for over 2million to pay rent for a new place to continue her biz, in which I declined for good reasons, because the place I had set up for her is just a year old and I spent alot on another mans property, yet no profit has even come out of the biz to even say it services part of the family's responsibility. Knowing fully well I rarely say no to her request, she felt more bad that I insisted on the decline. Infact she told me she was going to take a loan, I said if she does, my hand nor dey there, I said she should have patience like a year more that I will finance it, but she keeps saying the vacancy she saw is an opportunity that she does not want to lose it, I still maintained my decision of declining.


One night, she said she'll need my psychological support on the loan she wants to take, I replied that I cannot offer psych support on what I disagree upon, then she said I dont want to help her at all, that how much did I even spend for the first business, that is it up to 2 million, in which I spent more than. At that moment, I knew the wife I married was an ungrateful one, I just told her point blank that she should go for the loan and loan more to fix the place and buy everything she needs, then after she repays the loan, I'll blv shes a true business man and that I'll financially support anything she decides to do thereafter. She said well, I am scared of the loan, but she'll by whatever means get the money, I replied saying, whatever means u plan on getting it, make sure its clean.

Few days after, I figured out shes no longer interested in orgasm during sex, she just gives me and thats it, I already knew shes probably thinking too much and overworking herself to bring about a solution to where the money was gonna come out from, so I asked her why she has not been interested in orgasm, she said I should know that shes been working on some "BLOW JOBS" say what? She said u know have been working on some projects to get money to continue the biz, I said but u just said Mouth Action, she no I didnt say anything as such, Nlanders, If I lie make i nor see better, that was what came outta her mouth, but I am not concluding anything, just that its strange for such mistake to have been spewed. Though I got suspicious and decided to follow up on her. She has been talking to someone in secret, when she sees me she stylishly and quickly hang up. So I decided to make a very risky and rash move, that would either pay off, or ruin things. I yelled I know what u have been doing, you are a hoe that can never be trusted, that I think am done with this marriage. She got really worried that why would i call her such bla bla, she could not sleep that day, that gave me more reason to feel sumtin is probably going down, next day she sends me a text saying for me to keep calling her a hoe that she must have done something that warrants itm but she does not want to be referred ti as that anymore, and there is something am not telling her though.

I told her, I will break the news of what I know when the time is right, she then replied after two days of emotional trauma that she has finally decided to take the bold step to make my life and hers easy, she dont intend to create no drama, that all she needs me to do to avoid her getting any embarrassment from me, (what she meant is not letting people know why am calling her a hoe) is she wants me to let her know the terms and conditions with the kids and any other thing i think she should know before-hand. She also stated she would have loved to stay for her kids, but her emotions and health is failing her.

Nlanders, though I took a big risk, but isnt my confrontation with just 40% proof brought about a revelation that something has indeed happened from her response? I need candid response here as I am about to take my own decision, I cant stand a cheating wife biko.

Adecks01:
to be honest,(which you know yourself) you don't have a single proof not to talk of 40%
1.you figure out that your wife never expect you to decline her proposal,You also figure out how she was traumatise by your declined.You did admit that 6e most have being over thinking/working.
2.on why she use the phrase"Mouth Action" is either to tease you for your refusal knowing that you will be jealous or she didn't mean"mouth work" as you think .I do use that phrase for work that fetch me money more than the labour for instance" work that I expect 1k and was paid 1.5k is a "Mouth Action" to me.
3.You initially admit that you don't have single proof but when ahead to confront her(haba naaa...) .from your narrative it's clear that you really troubled,I mean maltreat her-you may not admit that here-(because you even admit that she was traumatized {part2because of that and).
4.She said you should save her from embarrassment and she would have loved to stay for the sake of the children but her health and emotions is falling"Bro,"divorce is "public embarrassment"and "you" are the very person that have failed her not health or emotions.do you know what it means for you not to be trusted by your partner?do you know the psychological effects you've subjected her into?

My Brother, it's like you entered my mind.

wiloy2k8:
u mumu sha

Thank you Baba!

nnamdibig:
Hmmmmm, something is seriously wrong somewhere, I guess you tell her to confess so you can forgive her. That may make her open up to you.
But your wife is very very ungrateful sha....... Extremely ungrateful.

All women are generally ungrateful my brother..

technicallyrich:
I wonder the kind. Of men we have this days.when I was growin up my mother can't even raise her voice without permission not to talk more of shout or insult my father.if not she go receiving.
I broke up with a girl last year because she was taller and bigger than me,and if she mess up I can't beat or flog her.
When a woman. Know that I will flog her if she misbehave to avoid my cane she will behave better.
Please guys man up,and your wife or girlfriends would be so afraid to raise her voice at you not to talk more of cheating.
As for you op I guess you are a yoruba man bcause they are mostly. The ones that display cowardly behavour like this.no offense

What a pile of garbage! That you can't beat or flog another human being like yourself!
I think there's too much mercury in the water you drink. If not, you wouldn't have reasoned like an earthworm.

I apologize if my tone is harsh but you don't beat another human being. You have no right over another person's body only your own.

So whenever you feel the urge in the future to hurt somebody else, slap yourself really hard for not having the emotional intelligence to resolve issues amicably.

Cheers.

VERDA:
You might be right about her playing games and all.. .but should marriages be like this, wife playing husband, husband playing wife for the rest of ur lives.. .not sure that's a very good advice,thats how twisted Kids are born. Imagine a child growing up in said environment.

I have been privileged to be married for a good number of years.

Two wrongs do not make a right in any marriage.

If one tries to show how intelligent he is in a marriage,the two individuals will only head for the gutters.

Ask any couple that has lived together for years...One of the two has being compromising for the train to keep moving.

You did not hear from the OP'S wife of the case and so I think I tried to work on the subject at hand.

Omotayor123:
you are on point. these men don't know women at all.

she's not cheating just trying to make her husband do the needful.

You know...

adam500hr:
Was not blind, met within 3 wks, got pregnant, told my parents i cant marry her cos i dont know her well, sbut they said in order to avoid shame for her family cos her pops was a pastor and that i woudnt want the same fate to become of my own daughter, that i'll just have to marry her. Thats where the story of my life began.

If you can, please part ways. She came into your life intentionally for the money. And she could have avoided the pregnancy. Are you even sure the first pregnancy was yours? I also smell jazz, for real boss, jazz.

Jahblessme:
I don't really understand you OP.
Your wife asked for cash which you don't want to give at this point,she said she would get a loan and asks for your support you refused and told her you wouldn't even lend moral support.Then she had a slip of tongue or you misheard her saying B J and you started calling her a wh ore?
Then you guys are now planning to divorce and she's not begging as you xpected.I don't really get it.

Why did you get overtly suspicious because she said BJ? Have you been suspicious of her before then or are you also cheating and hypervigilant? People who cheat are usually paranoid.Plus you have no evidence that's the worst part so no leg to stand on except instinct- which may be right or wrong.

1. No matter what,name calling isn't on.how can you call your wife a who re so your kids are children of a who re and you are the husband of a who re.People who namecall are uncouth-sorey to say.

2. You have good reason not to give her the cash,you could've supported her to go out and get a loan and see how it feels to lose cash and learn lessons from there


There's obviously no love here as she's happy to leave you without batting an eye and I'm pretty sure that's hitting your ego hard and annoying you further.The babe no get your time at all.
However,if she was cheating,your lack of evidence will make her smarter and she will never be caught again.You have to learn to control your emotions Oga.

I also hope your hands are clean cos the way you've jumped to cheating accusation is really suspicious.
If you are an innocent man,sorry.if you are not ,now is the time to re-evaluate and work harder at your marriage if you are interested cos your marriage is still too young and there's still loads of time to get to know each other better.

Either that or you both move on.

Good luck.

Jah bless you reall good bruvva!!!
I swear, with men like you telling it like it is? I still have hope for Nigerian men.

Cheers.

SgtKisswhere:
brilliant my foot, a child in a woman's body you mean......I pity that woman wey go follow try drama o.......btw I don't get what crying would yield cos it would be way better if they could have a mature conversation.

oh God help me when I am ready to get married, a mature lady who is ready to have a conversation rather than playing some stupid childish drama I pray......how I hate drama so much!!!

Till then Baba...

When your time reach,you fit jam peace,you fit jam Alahye!

May the odds not be against you.

A wise man who wants his marriage to work has to be less confrontational and attack issues with intelligence...call it drama but the wise men know how it's done.

GodnGold:
Till then Baba...

When your time reach,you fit jam peace,you fit jam Alahye!

May the odds not be against you.

A wise man who wants his marriage to work has to be less confrontational and attack issues with intelligence...call it drama but the wise men know how it's done.

amen brother amen...........i don't mean to be confrontational or stuff but if you have an issue with me, I'd prefer we table it down nd talk about....the funny behaviors is wat i detest. the hatred I feel oh lawd!

Dhayor001:
1. Never yell.

2. Don't call names or use insults

3 Never make statements that you cant back up sooner or later

Obviously you have made a big mistake here. And until you have undeniable proof, I suggest you call your wife and apologise sincerely.

What she said about a Mouth Action and the stylish hanging up may be ploys to get you worked up and raise the money for her, or they may be true that she's cheating. As you have no proof of either, you have to be the man and eat the humble pie.

As for her not wanting orgasms, bros na your wife o. However hard she might act, there are moves you make that (you know) drives her mad. Do them unexpectedly, not too much, just enough to get her excited and see if she will not give herself to you fully.

If she says she wants to leave, bro, the answer is no. Our generation should not be the one that throws things away because it is broken, we ought to mend them and make them work. Our parents did it, we can too. No be say na by force but divorce never makes things easy. Me and that woman will lock ourselves in a room for a week and work things out.

If she has cheated on you (and she confesses) and you are willing to forgive, good. If not, however, let that be the basis of you guys separating and not just cause of some money issues or emotional trauma.

If you must part ways, please the less the noise made and dust raised, the better.

Above all, be calm and meditate. Pray, it works!


Cheers.

pussy niqqa spoted

adam500hr:
Was not blind, met within 3 wks, got pregnant, told my parents i cant marry her cos i dont know her well, sbut they said in order to avoid shame for her family cos her pops was a pastor and that i woudnt want the same fate to become of my own daughter, that i'll just have to marry her. Thats where the story of my life began.

I advise you take paternity test of those kids. Do it quietly. I felt the pregnancy is a setup for u.

adam500hr:
Was not blind, met within 3 wks, got pregnant, told my parents i cant marry her cos i dont know her well, sbut they said in order to avoid shame for her family cos her pops was a pastor and that i woudnt want the same fate to become of my own daughter, that i'll just have to marry her. Thats where the story of my life began.

I advise you take paternity test of those kids. Do it quietly. I felt the pregnancy is a setup for u. This step will clear all you doubt

adam500hr:
Was not blind, met within 3 wks, got pregnant, told my parents i cant marry her cos i dont know her well, sbut they said in order to avoid shame for her family cos her pops was a pastor and that i woudnt want the same fate to become of my own daughter, that i'll just have to marry her. Thats where the story of my life began.

Here, you sound like you never loved her, & didn't try to all this time you've been married.

Dhayor001:
1. Never yell.

2. Don't call names or use insults

3 Never make statements that you cant back up sooner or later

Obviously you have made a big mistake here. And until you have undeniable proof, I suggest you call your wife and apologise sincerely.

What she said about a Mouth Action and the stylish hanging up may be ploys to get you worked up and raise the money for her, or they may be true that she's cheating. As you have no proof of either, you have to be the man and eat the humble pie.

As for her not wanting orgasms, bros na your wife o. However hard she might act, there are moves you make that (you know) drives her mad. Do them unexpectedly, not too much, just enough to get her excited and see if she will not give herself to you fully.

If she says she wants to leave, bro, the answer is no. Our generation should not be the one that throws things away because it is broken, we ought to mend them and make them work. Our parents did it, we can too. No be say na by force but divorce never makes things easy. Me and that woman will lock ourselves in a room for a week and work things out.

If she has cheated on you (and she confesses) and you are willing to forgive, good. If not, however, let that be the basis of you guys separating and not just cause of some money issues or emotional trauma.

If you must part ways, please the less the noise made and dust raised, the better.

Above all, be calm and meditate. Pray, it works!


Cheers.

are you married?

Dhayor001:
1. Never yell.

2. Don't call names or use insults

3 Never make statements that you cant back up sooner or later

Obviously you have made a big mistake here. And until you have undeniable proof, I suggest you call your wife and apologise sincerely.

What she said about a Mouth Action and the stylish hanging up may be ploys to get you worked up and raise the money for her, or they may be true that she's cheating. As you have no proof of either, you have to be the man and eat the humble pie.

As for her not wanting orgasms, bros na your wife o. However hard she might act, there are moves you make that (you know) drives her mad. Do them unexpectedly, not too much, just enough to get her excited and see if she will not give herself to you fully.

If she says she wants to leave, bro, the answer is no. Our generation should not be the one that throws things away because it is broken, we ought to mend them and make them work. Our parents did it, we can too. No be say na by force but divorce never makes things easy. Me and that woman will lock ourselves in a room for a week and work things out.

If she has cheated on you (and she confesses) and you are willing to forgive, good. If not, however, let that be the basis of you guys separating and not just cause of some money issues or emotional trauma.

If you must part ways, please the less the noise made and dust raised, the better.

Above all, be calm and meditate. Pray, it works!


Cheers.

Good one!

If am commenting at time, am telling you the absolute truth from experience. Go for a DNA test of our childern the result will open the reality of our family'hood'.

adam500hr:

Read line 8 of your post. That foundation you laid is what is happening to your marriage now.

"I rarely say no to her request"

/

Bros I really hope u c this, take 'your kids' do a DNA test asap

Hi.

Sorry, it is a sad story but trust me you are not alone. You need to keep your head clear and devoid of anger in order to make the right decision. Some useful thought process.
1. Define your worst case scenario and evaluate your response if it comes true. If she decides to leave what will you do? kids, job....
2. Have a paternity test done, this is a must, as it clears your head of one of the worst case scenario defined above.
3. Be prepared to give her another change once you have evaluated all these thoughts in your head, but she will have to make a commitment.
4. Whatever you do, do not sweep it under the carpet, keep it in house, but make sure you pray for the strength to address it because it is diff.

In short, the probability you will get the evidence you are looking for is next to impossible, by the time you get those evidence, you are dead. Trust me I am talking from experience. Listen to the unspoken, and pay attention when they are angry, you will get most of what you need .

Send me your number at Jimoh.jobs@hotmail.co.uk, I will call you and discuss my personal experience with you. Problem shared is problem half solved. Look forward to hear from you.

What sort of responsible man calls his wife a hoe? OP u no try at all!

Jflex07:
why do you seem so sure.. what if you are wrong?

What if u are wrong?

There is no shread of evidence to suggest she's cheating

NnamdiiKanu:
Yeah

He sounds like a 5 year old because he refused to give his wife 2 million naira after wasting 1 million on an investment the wife destroyed ??

Nope. But because of his silly cheating claims.

adam500hr:
Was not blind, met within 3 wks, got pregnant, told my parents i cant marry her cos i dont know her well, sbut they said in order to avoid shame for her family cos her pops was a pastor and that i woudnt want the same fate to become of my own daughter, that i'll just have to marry her. Thats where the story of my life began.

People will never stop making silly mistake.....cos u impregnated her does that make u a good match You have not seen anything! It is better you let her be and search for your own wife. Have seen family that made such mistake 35years after there home is still not settled. If u want peace of mind better free her. That's my little advise for you.