₦airaland Forum

I never said all men are evil and all women are good

Fadman4real:
Your story is painful and a real fail on the man involved but you should know better that not all men are evil just like not all women are good. The fact that she got pregnant for the dude is not enough reason for them to get married.

When he asked her out, she said yes and when it came to sex without protection she said yes. She knew the consequences of her actions, and still said yes. So she should be able to bear the consequences of it.

You also said that her life us ruined and she can't get a husband. You are totally wrong here, the new wife d man married, is she not a baby mama or haven't you heard of several young dudes getting married to baby mamas. The only way she can put her life back together is by forgiving d dude and moving on.

Hatered and love can't exist in the same heart so she should forgive him not for his sake but for her sake.

funmisticqueen:
i agree you are both at fault.how are you sure she got pregnant out of desperation. Dont ever insult the mother of your child again. Did your father teach you to date a woman when you are not ready to marry? Did you two have a good talk like responsible adults about the fate of the child when she was pregnant? Ok fine you didnt marry her or deny the pregnancy, where you there for her during the pregnancy, who paid her hospital bills,did you follow her for any antenatal care appointment, trying to make pregnancy easier? were you there when she was in labor? If your answer to any of this is no. She has every reason to hate you. And while i think she should forgive you, it doesnt mean she can still let you see her child. I can only date someone who is ready to marry, not someone who wants to play around especially when i am ready to get married.

answer is capital NO cus she relocated wit her family,she changed her digit I couldn't track her for over six month before I was transfered to anoda state by d company I work wit

funmisticqueen:
Do you see your life outside, do you think your wife will be truly happy to raise your child by another woman, just leave the babymama alone. I knew there was more to it the way you sound so innocent

my child is path of me I can't just forget him like dat,its. Not gonna happen,my child need me as mush as I do

Ok i've heard you? If this child, had a heart disease, down's syndrome or cerebral palsy,or was re-tarded you knowing that your child will never be normal? Will you still want to take the child from the babymama?pls be honest with yourself

tspouse:
answer is capital NO cus she relocated wit her family,she changed her digit I couldn't track her for over six month before I was transfered to anoda state by d company I work wit

What of your wife, you still havent told, do you see you are repeating the same mistake again you are still not mature, if you get your son what next, who is going to look after him, the wife you didnt tell, you will just have world war 3 in your house, always be straight with the women in your life. That is your problem.

tspouse:
my child is path of me I can't just forget him like dat,its. Not gonna happen,my child need me as mush as I do

funmisticqueen:
You are right but you are twisting my words here, this story happened real life, i grew up with these people, i never said she did not forgive him since she obviously tried to move on. The mother here was one of the nicest people i knew and the way she behaved wasn't as if she held any hatred for anyone. May her soul rest in peace. but, for her daughter, the father messed up,big time, i wonder how the woman would have coped if not for her family. I think the daughter has written off the father though and there are more stories like this of peopleyou said that he asked her out and they did not use protection, shouldn't the two of them bear the consequnces of their actions, or was it immaculate conception, really any man that sleeps with a woman he has no intention of marrying has no intergrity and is a digrace. Why i am sure the babymama hates the op is that i am sure he denied the pregnancy, even if they dont marry, he said he wasn't ready to be a father, no one ever is ready for fatherhood. The babymama was obviously not ready for motherhood but she faced the music. If the op and babymama had talked through the process like two responsible adults, walked through the pregnancy, even if he didn't marry her, she wont hate him as such and we wont have this thread here

Firstly you are basing ur judgement of the op based on the storyline, here op claims responsibility for the pregnancy and he is ready to claim the child and accept it. I am sure that if the man had done that in the story you described, it would have been a much happier ending, the woman might not have died due to stress and at least the kids would have found life much easier.

The case of you saying when a man sleeping with a woman he doesnt want to marry, he has no integerity is wrong. A woman could and do sleep with men they have no intention of marrying and you know that. I am not saying it is right for him to sleep with a lady he doesnt intend to marry but at the same time both sexes are guilty of that, so you pointing out only one sex makes you sexist.

The fact is that getting pregnant for a guy is not enough reason for him to marry you, there are more than a million reasons he might choose not to and that is his choice. The woman has a choice to make, she could decide to sleep with the man or not and if she sleeps with the man ensure they use protection since she is the one that would blame the consequence the most.

The man cant marry her because of pity the best he can do is to claim responsibility for his action by offering child support which is legalized and accepted world wide. Any lady that doesnt want to get pregnant in this age knows the precautions to take and has more than one alternative to do so.

I am not basing my judgement on this story, you really like misquoting me, to get my point of view please read my other messages to the op, op hasn't even told his wife that he wants to claim his son. I never said what two of them did wasn't wrong

Fadman4real:
Firstly you are basing ur judgement of the op based on the storyline, here op claims responsibility for the pregnancy and he is ready to claim the child and accept it. I am sure that if the man had done that in the story you described, it would have been a much happier ending, the woman might not have died due to stress and at least the kids would have found life much easier.

The case of you saying when a man sleeping with a woman he doesnt want to marry, he has no integerity is wrong. A woman could and do sleep with men they have no intention of marrying and you know that. I am not saying it is right for him to sleep with a lady he doesnt intend to marry but at the same time both sexes are guilty of that, so you pointing out only one sex makes you sexist.

The fact is that getting pregnant for a guy is not enough reason for him to marry you, there are more than a million reasons he might choose not to and that is his choice. The woman has a choice to make, she could decide to sleep with the man or not and if she sleeps with the man ensure they use protection since she is the one that would blame the consequence the most.

The man cant marry her because of pity the best he can do is to claim responsibility for his action by offering child support which is legalized and accepted world wide. Any lady that doesnt want to get pregnant in this age knows the precautions to take and has more than one alternative to do so.

funmisticqueen:
I am not basing my judgement on this story, you really like misquoting me, to get my point of view please read my other messages to the op, op hasn't even told his wife that he wants to claim his son. I never said what two of them did wasn't wrong

That is the basis of this arguement, the op is ready to claim the son and that is why he created this thread to seek how he could solve the crisis between him and the mother of his child, that he is even ready to pay for child support. Your argument here is that the op has no right to claim the child because he wasnt there for her when she was pregnant.

funmisticqueen:
We greet you sir, general overseer of chop and clean mouth ministries, irresponsible baby daddy spotted

I am a proud baby daddy, and lucky to have never met deluded women, like the ones who are here showing their ignorance on this issue.

You lot are a disgrace, selfish, and only think about yourselves, instead of thinking about that child who may need the love and care of his father too.

Hear your sorry selves again: a man doesn't marry you, so you women prohibits a child from seeing their biological father. May you never succeed in your evil plots.

funmisticqueen:
Is that how you were raised, to sleep with a woman without condom and leave her with morning sickness for the next 9 months,imagine if that happened to your sister or daughter, will you give the man responsible a handshake and a pat on the back. You will never understand cos you cant nuture life like a woman can. He is not the one whose dreams are on hold or out of the picture because she has to raise a child. You still arent understanding that mother and child are a package, not one without the other. The man should grow a pair and man up and it is no by child support or weekend visits, that child deserves to be raised in a home where mum and dad live together not to be tossed to and fro like some toy. You are letting your ego speak irrationally.

ARRANT NONSENSE from deluded woman. See how she is quick to make women look like victims, as if baby mamas are all conned into having children, and it is NEVER a common adults choice (maybe we rape them to have sex without condoms, rights?!) Clearly clueless about the issue, and I suggest you EDUCATE yourself instead of taking ONE sob story, and thinking that's how it always happen. Men are just as important in a child's life, as their mothers.... Whether together or separated!

and HELL NO, mother and kids are certainly NOT a package, the day a woman fukcs up, she is out. This type of blackmail to have Good men stick to miserable women gotta go. If you change and become what your man doesn't desire in his life, a kid will not change a thing, you will be dropped like a bad rash!

BTW it is only an ignorant uneducated woman that would have her dreams on hold, if deciding ON HER OWN to raise her child. Many intelligent women go right back to work and use nurseries etc, and there is NOTHING wrong with that... So stop the pity blame game, as if we care!

I knew you were a baby daddy, irresposible fellow. I am sure you are a narcissitic egomaniac and nothing you say will move me, if you like continue to sow wild oats and marry a virgin,men with mentalities like yours always get what is coming to them. Poor home training.Quote me again and sell your destiny for a pot of beans if you have any worth selling.

MrBrownJay1:
ARRANT NONSENSE from deluded woman. See how she is quick to make women look like victims, as if baby mamas are all conned into having children, and it is NEVER a common adults choice (maybe we rape them to have sex without condoms, rights?!) Clearly clueless about the issue, and I suggest you EDUCATE yourself instead of taking ONE sob story, and thinking that's how it always happen. Men are just as important in a child's life, as their mothers.... Whether together or separated!

and HELL NO, mother and kids are certainly NOT a package, the day a woman fukcs up, she is out. This type of blackmail to have Good men stick to miserable women gotta go. If you change and become what your man doesn't desire in his life, a kid will not change a thing, you will be dropped like a bad rash!

BTW it is only an ignorant uneducated woman that would have her dreams on hold, if deciding ON HER OWN to raise her child. Many intelligent women go right back to work and use nurseries etc, and there is NOTHING wrong with that... So stop the pity blame game, as if we care!

He doesnt want to solve anything, he wants to take the child away from the mother, he hasnt even told the wife of his plans and he wants to rear the child in a peaceful home, child support means nothing.

Fadman4real:
That is the basis of this arguement, the op is ready to claim the son and that is why he created this thread to seek how he could solve the crisis between him and the mother of his child, that he is even ready to pay for child support. Your argument here is that the op has no right to claim the child because he wasnt there for her when she was pregnant.

funmisticqueen:
I knew you were a baby daddy, irresposible fellow. I am sure you are a narcissitic egomaniac and nothing you say will move me, if you like continue to sow wild oats and marry a virgin,men with mentalities like yours always get what is coming to them. Poor home training.Quote me again and sell your destiny for a pot of beans if you have any worth selling.

As if I care what you think, I am a PROUD father,proud of my children, and nothing a "clueless woman about children" will ever change that.

The day any of you miserable women give the right msg to possible mothers (aka always act towards the wellbeing of your kids), then i will stop disagreeing with any rubbish you selfish ladies write on NL. you obviously never had kids, as only a very ignorant person could hurt their children in such a Selfish miserable way.

funmisticqueen:
He doesnt want to solve anything, he wants to take the child away from the mother, he hasnt even told the wife of his plans and he wants to rear the child in a peaceful home, child support means nothing.

Your attempts at reconciliation have not worked, and every day she becomes bitter than all the lemons in the world. All you want your son to know is that you are a cool dad.

You can see here that you got it wrong he just wants to have some time with the son. He never stated that he wants to take the child and he also mentioned that the mother loves the boy. He seems ready to pay for child support to have some valuable time with his son.

He can only pray she forgives him,but taking her to court is a bad move.he said it in his opening post that he wanted to take the child from his mother so she wont poison his mind against him

Fadman4real:
Your attempts at reconciliation have not worked, and every day she becomes bitter than all the lemons in the world. All you want your son to know is that you are a cool dad.

You can see here that you got it wrong he just wants to have some time with the son. He never stated that he wants to take the child and he also mentioned that the mother loves the boy. He seems ready to pay for child support to have some valuable time with his son.

i am tired. So far all i can see is that the op is very immature and has growing up to do. He is free to do whatever the hell he likes. Lets do each other a favor, nobody should quote me on this thread again. Thank you

I had the same issue with my baby mama, trust me hatred is an understatement, even after 6 years of birth, she still feel Some kinda regrets, I apologized, tried to be friends, she refused o, probably she thinks, its because I want to take the baby away from her... But a lot has started changing lately, she seems to be happy with me...

tspouse:
the truth is dta this gal is so Damn crazy, I don't know were she currently stay,she changes location like criminal,moreover I don't want my wife to know dat am eager to av my son back to avoid trouble,those re d reasons am so relunctant to go to court.

I MAINTAIN dat u talk 2 her first after all she once liked u,nd dont bcus of ur wife abandon ur child o,cus u told her abt d child b4 abi(unless u didnt)

justiniyke29:
I MAINTAIN dat u talk 2 her first after all she once liked u,nd dont bcus of ur wife abandon ur child o,cus u told her abt d child b4 abi(unless u didnt)

yes I told my wife about it even before our marraige,what am saying is dat I don't want her to think am so desperate to have him,I want to make it seem to her dat my. Babymama sent him to me

funmisticqueen:
He can only pray she forgives him,but taking her to court is a bad move.he said it in his opening post that he wanted to take the child from his mother so she wont poison his mind against himi am tired. So far all i can see is that the op is very immature and has growing up to do. He is free to do whatever the hell he likes. Lets do each other a favor, nobody should quote me on this thread again. Thank you

u re not helping d mata atall,is it a sin to be with my child?

tspouse:
yes I told my wife about it even before our marraige,what am saying is dat I don't want her to think am so desperate to have him,I want to make it seem to her dat my. Babymama sent him to me

Y would u want her 2 think dat unless u re afraid of her. let her know dat u would lyk a relationship with ur son,nd dont lie

Fadman4real:
Firstly you are basing ur judgement of the op based on the storyline, here op claims responsibility for the pregnancy and he is ready to claim the child and accept it. I am sure that if the man had done that in the story you described, it would have been a much happier ending, the woman might not have died due to stress and at least the kids would have found life much easier.

The case of you saying when a man sleeping with a woman he doesnt want to marry, he has no integerity is wrong. A woman could and do sleep with men they have no intention of marrying and you know that. I am not saying it is right for him to sleep with a lady he doesnt intend to marry but at the same time both sexes are guilty of that, so you pointing out only one sex makes you sexist.

The fact is that getting pregnant for a guy is not enough reason for him to marry you, there are more than a million reasons he might choose not to and that is his choice. The woman has a choice to make, she could decide to sleep with the man or not and if she sleeps with the man ensure they use protection since she is the one that would blame the consequence the most.

The man cant marry her because of pity the best he can do is to claim responsibility for his action by offering child support which is legalized and accepted world wide. Any lady that doesnt want to get pregnant in this age knows the precautions to take and has more than one alternative to do so.

exactly

What do you mean by that, did you answer the questions i asked you? Of course not. Are you being straight foward with your wife? Hell no. I cannot and will not help someone whose intentions are not pure.You want to deceive your wife, continue o. In the child's interest i hope the babymama forgives you but never takes a dime of your money or allow you to take the child from her cos you are a deceitful person. You are free to take counsel from people who think and behave like you and a palatable solution will come from somewhere. Good day

tspouse:
u re not helping d mata atall,is it a sin to be with my child?

OP! JUST TELL YOUR WIFE THE TRUTH O. HONEY I WANT TO GAIN CUSTODY OF MY CHILD SIMPLE, SHE WONT BEAT YOU. BEHAVE IN EVERYBODY'S BEST INTEREST, WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO GAIN BY LYING, EHN! NA WA FOR YOU O.

tspouse:
yes I told my wife about it even before our marraige,what am saying is dat I don't want her to think am so desperate to have him,I want to make it seem to her dat my. Babymama sent him to me

Please i think you are the only one in this forum that will give the OP sensible, truthful and sound advise on what to do, cos he seems like a cunning person. Thank you sir.

Whogoknow:
I had the same issue with my baby mama, trust me hatred is an understatement, even after 6 years of birth, she still feel Some kinda regrets, I apologized, tried to be friends, she refused o, probably she thinks, its because I want to take the baby away from her... But a lot has started changing lately, she seems to be happy with me...

funmisticqueen:
OP! JUST TELL YOUR WIFE THE TRUTH O. HONEY I WANT TO GAIN CUSTODY OF MY CHILD SIMPLE, SHE WONT BEAT YOU. BEHAVE IN EVERYBODY'S BEST INTEREST, WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO GAIN BY LYING, EHN! NA WA FOR YOU O.

I know how take care of dat she's my wife,dats nt d problem:how to see my son is d main isue nw

What do you mean by that, she deserves the truth, just keep praying and being nice to the baby mama. God is in control, be patient and you will get her trust. I hope she moves on from you fasr cos you dont seem to be worth it at all. Pls dont quote me again

tspouse:
I know how take care of dat she's my wife,dats nt d problem:how to see my son is d main isue nw