₦airaland Forum

SirMichael1:
R

Stevecyes:
I nairalanders, i need a wise council from you guys. I have this girl am dating and i love her immensely and i presumably believe she love me to.
But she's always turning the corner and expect me to apologize to her even when she's the one that wronged and hurt me.
She's this egocentric type, hard to acknowledge that she's wrong footer.
I have tried to make our relationship work for good but she's not helping matters at all.
I don't have to go through all our past issues here but the recent one ensued that i called her and she did not picked the first call and when i called the second she did pick it but she was speaking incoherently to my understanding and there was lots of musical noise on the background, and i was forcing myself to hear her better but i couldn't. she soon dropped the call and i called back few minutes later like three more times but she didn't pick it.
So for days and weeks i was expecting a call from her but she called not, and it got a month plus; non of us called each other.
I have fed up with her act and i told myself i shouldn't call her until she calls even though at times, my heart feel tempted to place a call to her but my head said to me Steve, don't do that.
Sometimes later she messaged me on facebook and this is our conversations.


From her,
Good day, Steve because you called me the other I didn't pick that made you to feel relax after knowing I was sick?
No wahala i no die I dey alive.


From Me,
Listen Sylver,
I hv passed some things in life.
Don't play mediocre on my intellect, Am too farther from that trust me, I'm.
You re here now telling me u were sick when i called u theñ!
Truth be told,
1, U neva told me u were sick prior to the last time i called u dat u did not pick my calls.
2, U re now telling me u were sick back then, but the first call i gave u, when u picked it, there was a lot of music noise on the background and people's voice too, so how come someone who claim to be sick be sitting or going out on such gathering, function or a party.
3, When i called u again immediately after u first picked it and dropped it, u didn't pick it again on the subsequent ones.
4, OK, u said u missed my calls; isn't it? Why didn't u callback or equally flash back to me when u later saw those missed calls so as to prove to me that u didn't deliberately avoided my calls.
All this while, u didn't see a reason to communicate wit me, and now u re talking so as to make me the victim 'culprit' again. I won't be this time around.
If u really hv a soul, just forget making me a victim OK. In as much as i like and cherish u, i won't bow to your egocentric tendencies.
5, listen bae, i can remember vividly good, the previous time we had a little misunderstanding prior to your last birthday. We didn't talk, call, text or even chat to each other for over some good number of months. But immediately i saw your birthday is around, I didn't hesitate to text u and congratulate u on your birthday and equally call u even though we haven't spoken for months. That's what love, respect and homage is. No total hatred. When u remember your friend is having their special celebrative period, u call or perhaps text to congratulate them even though u guys may not be in tune.
After i congratulated u on your birthday, I called for a truce and i begged u for forgiveness and told u that we can't continue to be so low on each other even though i knw the fault wasn't from me. Which we eventually mended and we became in good tune again.
6, But these time around, I had my birthday last month and u cared-less to even to text me let alone to place a call to me to wish me happy birthday... Friends were calling and texting me and each time i gat one, i looked forward expecting it to be u but non came from u. TOO BAD. "U RE MEAN GIRL".
7, During our preview conflict, u were saying some bad words against the person of me cos I was trying to make u see reasons wt me and for us to call a truce. Words like, "U HATE ME WITH PASSION" I SHOULD STOP DISTURBING U" THAT U WILL BE THE LAST PERSON TO WANT ME BACK".and so on but i simply told u that I will not retaliate back on the same footing, cos i still respect & admire u even though we may hv our differences, and that i will be the last person to talk ill of u or cause u just because we re having a rough path. Just go back and check that particular chat history.
8, listen bae, psychology says When one feels he's deliberately being ignored, distant from hashed against or rejected, he get a bit traumatised, it's not just mental, it's physiological and it actually blocks your feelings a bit from that person because your brain doesn't allow you to resolve the problem,". When one is personally being distant from, it is a shock to your body and it stays in your body in the sympathetic nervous system," your brains remembers it, your heart remembers it.
there's a trigger mechanism and the heart flies up way over the bar. This is the sub-conscious brain in action, when the two hemispheres are not connecting.
"Whether it's a person, situation or event, your brain will be searching previous experiences - positive and negative - to make sure that you're safe. When it searches, it finds you were in this position before and ended up being ridiculed, embarrassed and humiliated, and thus tries to protect themselves..
When one is been withdrew from, that soul 've been traumatised - and you don't simply overcome that. It takes a long time to get over."
So i think there's a mental block, or an existing trauma at work that eventually stopped from calling back all this time cos i was a witness to it the first it happened between us...
U don't even care to try and mend bridges and resolve the issue cos to u, u think is men that hv to beg ladies and not vice versa even when the damn problem in question is from the lady....
Plz i think i hv said enough.
I'm tired of having a relationship that the two parties aren't both trying to make it a worthwhile phenomenon.


4rm her:-
See am not interested with all this ur stories
U said i didn't tell u I was sick ,I did not wish u well on Ur b'day, I was partying when u called me, I drop call on u.no problem I have accepted it all.
Case close.


4rm me:-
Very well then...
And very well closed.
Just take a look at u, too proud of yourself.
No remorse, nothing.
Gosh!!!
I neva knew u re dis mean.
As u said "case close".
I finally said, " VERY WELL CLOSED"... BYE.
Anyway, I wish u d bex in lif Good luck
I don't force myself on people, if your class is higher than mine, i change my school. I am not an option but a choice.


4rm her:-
Same wit me.
Good luck too.
I should be very proud of myself because i lack nothing.
Please stop disturbing me.
I will never in this earth ask u to accept me back.
I hate you with passion


4rm me:-
I will neva use because of the heats of the moment to lay despicable and bad utterances on who i once considered my great friend.
Hating me with passion is not a perfect channel to lay ones grievances on opinion.
Hate me as much as u can, but be rest assured that i hv never for once hated u since i knw u even up till dis moment that u re making me to hate ur attitude, i will not hate u but will eternally be fond of our good time together all through the year.
I will forever be proud of u and also be proud of our good time together.
U were once my Swthrt, and i knw u will always be in my hrt.
I don't hate u!
I neva hate!!
And i will neva hate u!!!
But if hating me is your best description of me now, and that equally make u happy....
Then continue to hate me with passion for the rest of your life But hear me loud, I WILL NEVER IN MY LIFE HATE U OR SAY ANY BAD THING AGAINST U...
GOOD LUCK TO YOU!!!
............................................................................
Now the advice i want from you guys is, should i still go ahead and apologize again even though there's no iota of remorse from her own part at all? Thanks

Stevecyes:
I nairalanders, i need a wise council from you guys. I have this girl am dating and i love her immensely and i presumably believe she love me to.
But she's always turning the corner and expect me to apologize to her even when she's the one that wronged and hurt me.
She's this egocentric type, hard to acknowledge that she's wrong footer.
I have tried to make our relationship work for good but she's not helping matters at all.
I don't have to go through all our past issues here but the recent one ensued that i called her and she did not picked the first call and when i called the second she did pick it but she was speaking incoherently to my understanding and there was lots of musical noise on the background, and i was forcing myself to hear her better but i couldn't. she soon dropped the call and i called back few minutes later like three more times but she didn't pick it.
So for days and weeks i was expecting a call from her but she called not, and it got a month plus; non of us called each other.
I have fed up with her act and i told myself i shouldn't call her until she calls even though at times, my heart feel tempted to place a call to her but my head said to me Steve, don't do that.
Sometimes later she messaged me on facebook and this is our conversations.


From her,
Good day, Steve because you called me the other I didn't pick that made you to feel relax after knowing I was sick?
No wahala i no die I dey alive.


From Me,
Listen Sylver,
I hv passed some things in life.
Don't play mediocre on my intellect, Am too farther from that trust me, I'm.
You re here now telling me u were sick when i called u theñ!
Truth be told,
1, U neva told me u were sick prior to the last time i called u dat u did not pick my calls.
2, U re now telling me u were sick back then, but the first call i gave u, when u picked it, there was a lot of music noise on the background and people's voice too, so how come someone who claim to be sick be sitting or going out on such gathering, function or a party.
3, When i called u again immediately after u first picked it and dropped it, u didn't pick it again on the subsequent ones.
4, OK, u said u missed my calls; isn't it? Why didn't u callback or equally flash back to me when u later saw those missed calls so as to prove to me that u didn't deliberately avoided my calls.
All this while, u didn't see a reason to communicate wit me, and now u re talking so as to make me the victim 'culprit' again. I won't be this time around.
If u really hv a soul, just forget making me a victim OK. In as much as i like and cherish u, i won't bow to your egocentric tendencies.
5, listen bae, i can remember vividly good, the previous time we had a little misunderstanding prior to your last birthday. We didn't talk, call, text or even chat to each other for over some good number of months. But immediately i saw your birthday is around, I didn't hesitate to text u and congratulate u on your birthday and equally call u even though we haven't spoken for months. That's what love, respect and homage is. No total hatred. When u remember your friend is having their special celebrative period, u call or perhaps text to congratulate them even though u guys may not be in tune.
After i congratulated u on your birthday, I called for a truce and i begged u for forgiveness and told u that we can't continue to be so low on each other even though i knw the fault wasn't from me. Which we eventually mended and we became in good tune again.
6, But these time around, I had my birthday last month and u cared-less to even to text me let alone to place a call to me to wish me happy birthday... Friends were calling and texting me and each time i gat one, i looked forward expecting it to be u but non came from u. TOO BAD. "U RE MEAN GIRL".
7, During our preview conflict, u were saying some bad words against the person of me cos I was trying to make u see reasons wt me and for us to call a truce. Words like, "U HATE ME WITH PASSION" I SHOULD STOP DISTURBING U" THAT U WILL BE THE LAST PERSON TO WANT ME BACK".and so on but i simply told u that I will not retaliate back on the same footing, cos i still respect & admire u even though we may hv our differences, and that i will be the last person to talk ill of u or cause u just because we re having a rough path. Just go back and check that particular chat history.
8, listen bae, psychology says When one feels he's deliberately being ignored, distant from hashed against or rejected, he get a bit traumatised, it's not just mental, it's physiological and it actually blocks your feelings a bit from that person because your brain doesn't allow you to resolve the problem,". When one is personally being distant from, it is a shock to your body and it stays in your body in the sympathetic nervous system," your brains remembers it, your heart remembers it.
there's a trigger mechanism and the heart flies up way over the bar. This is the sub-conscious brain in action, when the two hemispheres are not connecting.
"Whether it's a person, situation or event, your brain will be searching previous experiences - positive and negative - to make sure that you're safe. When it searches, it finds you were in this position before and ended up being ridiculed, embarrassed and humiliated, and thus tries to protect themselves..
When one is been withdrew from, that soul 've been traumatised - and you don't simply overcome that. It takes a long time to get over."
So i think there's a mental block, or an existing trauma at work that eventually stopped from calling back all this time cos i was a witness to it the first it happened between us...
U don't even care to try and mend bridges and resolve the issue cos to u, u think is men that hv to beg ladies and not vice versa even when the damn problem in question is from the lady....
Plz i think i hv said enough.
I'm tired of having a relationship that the two parties aren't both trying to make it a worthwhile phenomenon.


4rm her:-
See am not interested with all this ur stories
U said i didn't tell u I was sick ,I did not wish u well on Ur b'day, I was partying when u called me, I drop call on u.no problem I have accepted it all.
Case close.


4rm me:-
Very well then...
And very well closed.
Just take a look at u, too proud of yourself.
No remorse, nothing.
Gosh!!!
I neva knew u re dis mean.
As u said "case close".
I finally said, " VERY WELL CLOSED"... BYE.
Anyway, I wish u d bex in lif Good luck
I don't force myself on people, if your class is higher than mine, i change my school. I am not an option but a choice.


4rm her:-
Same wit me.
Good luck too.
I should be very proud of myself because i lack nothing.
Please stop disturbing me.
I will never in this earth ask u to accept me back.
I hate you with passion


4rm me:-
I will neva use because of the heats of the moment to lay despicable and bad utterances on who i once considered my great friend.
Hating me with passion is not a perfect channel to lay ones grievances on opinion.
Hate me as much as u can, but be rest assured that i hv never for once hated u since i knw u even up till dis moment that u re making me to hate ur attitude, i will not hate u but will eternally be fond of our good time together all through the year.
I will forever be proud of u and also be proud of our good time together.
U were once my Swthrt, and i knw u will always be in my hrt.
I don't hate u!
I neva hate!!
And i will neva hate u!!!
But if hating me is your best description of me now, and that equally make u happy....
Then continue to hate me with passion for the rest of your life But hear me loud, I WILL NEVER IN MY LIFE HATE U OR SAY ANY BAD THING AGAINST U...
GOOD LUCK TO YOU!!!
............................................................................
Now the advice i want from you guys is, should i still go ahead and apologize again even though there's no iota of remorse from her own part at all? Thanks

firstking01:
R?, smh.

WTF is your ish?

Shouldn't I read something again

lodphil:
Deleting a gal's number when she starts misbehaving is one of the easiest thing for me.
Most of them start that crap when they feel u can't do without them.
You lost her d first day you apologized to her after being wronged by her.
You ve to show u deserve to be respected b4 anybody respects you.

Marioplus:
PRAY TO THE HOLY SPIRIT TO GIVE YOU THE INNER GRACE TO LET GO OF HER GOOD MEMORIES INSIDE YOUR BRAIN AND MOVE ON TO THE NEXT DOUBLE PORTION BLESSING GOD HAS ARRANGED FOR YOU IN JESUS NAME. AMEN.


DO NOT LOOSE HOPE WHEN YOU LOOSE SOMETHING OR SOMEBODY OF VALUE IN LIFE:
For every affliction on the RIGHTEOUS {Those who believe in JESUS CHRIST as their OWN PERSONAL LORD AND SAVIOR AND HAVE GENUINE INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT}, there is a DOUBLE PORTION BLESSING COMING
"Instead of your [former] SHAME you will have a DOUBLE PORTION;
And instead of HUMILIATION your PEOPLE will SHOUT for JOY over their PORTION.
Therefore in their land they will POSSESS DOUBLE [what they had FORFEITED];
EVERLASTING JOY will be THEIRS." {Isaiah 61:7}

firstking01:
Dump her now

lalanice:
well apologising to someone even though they are wrong is not always a bad thing, wats bad is wen they now start claiming right because you apologised first. it jst means they'll never learn

lalanice:
ermm wat class are you guys again?

obviously dis relationship was one-sided. its one thing to love ur partner more than they do you, but its a diff thing to love a partner who doesn't love you atall. gd thing you parted ways,...but then again its jst urside of d story we've heard.






By the way, your story go make sense for Philippino movies

cruchenuti:
Why Philippino? Don't you think a Yoruba movie would be berra?

lalanice:
Philippines live to act love stories, lets jst leave it for them

SirMichael1:

Jeez! I hate you already

You're so much of a nice guy and that's bad. Very bad and annoying!

Dude, don't ever and I repeat, don't ever apologize. I can tell you that she is waiting for yet another apology from you at this time and if you don't apologize, she'll eventually come over and when she comes over, she wouldn't want to apologize, she would want to act as though nothing was wrong between you guys. That's when you know that you're in charge now, request for a your apology and if she doesn't apologize, walk away and don't look back

WTF is wrong with you? She offends and you apologize? Where the f*ck does that happen? Huh?!. You're easily predictable, she predicts you easily and knows that you'll apologize again.

1. She's has no fūçkīñg repect
2. She's not remorseful
3. A fūçkīñg whōre who is also a party freak
4. A useless and an uncaring b1tch
5. A waste

Dude, I can tell you that she refused to pick your call again because she was enjoying her party with friends or whoever she was with at that time and when the party was over, the hangover started and she fell sick from the party you didn't send her to.

You're too emotional, you don't wanna lose her and that's why you always apologize even even she's wrong. You're not manly. Too weak. So very weak! It irks me!

Also, your initial reply was toooooooooo long. Damn! I got infuriated to the point that I wanted to insult you right away until i turned thoughts from it. See her reply and see you.

You always explain, even scientifically too. Don't be easily predictable. Dude, have some standard and be ready to walk away if it's violated.

Stop acting too sheepish and emotionally. Let her know that you don't depend on her for your happiness or anything like that.

I think you're so much in love with the girl that it has clouded your pattern of reasoning. That's what love does.

Relationship shouldn't be a one sided thing, both sides should work on the relationship to make it strong

NevetsIbot:
You had to quote that whole post simply to type ''Dump her now''.

SirMichael1:
WTF is your ish?

Shouldn't I read something again