₦airaland Forum

BLACKPANTHER:
Those posters don't come to reasonable threads like this to give positive responses

lisbonabdulahi:
Hello Nairalanders, please I need you advice before I finally end this marriage.
I know I was at fault at the beginning for not stamping my authority , I showed her so much love, because she is a product of a broken home, I wanted her to know there is much more to life, now she has turned my love to foolishness, I do not want my kids to grow up without a father. That is why I have been very patient, but now … please read on.

I have been married for 11 years, with 4 kids. The truth is that we have never had really peace in the home for these years, everything is trouble, from the way I talk, eat, dress, use the toilet and sleep, just name them. The situation has been bad from the beginning, but the last three years has been hell for me and the kids, my wife shouts and complain over everything, she cannot go one full day with Joy, there is always one thing that annoys her, she has to be right on all issues, The very sad part is that whenever she does anything wrong and I ask her, there will be trouble, she will refuse to speak with me for as long as she like. We can go for weeks without really speaking with each other she enjoys it, she does not just bother at all. Each time these things happen, I am always the one that try to initiate peace.

I will like to give only one example to summarise everything going on in my home: two years ago, she will just leave the home without telling me, I called her and told her it is not right, she replied me promptly that it is her life, I can’t control her, and it is my life as well, I should do whatever I like with it. well I thought it was anger, however, I never mind, anytime I want to leave, I make sure I tell her till one day she called me and tell me that even if I keep informing her about my movements, that she is not going to change, she is not under any obligation to tell me where she is going to. My people, for two years counting now, that is how we have been doing it, we just leave without telling each other. BUT OCCASSIONALLY FOR SOME REASONS I DON’T KNOW, SHE WILL JUST TELL ME SHE IS GOING OUT TO XYZ.

She always insults me and even the kids, for any mistake they make and she never fails to tell them that they did not inherit their bad character from her, that they inherited their character from me, she says this consistently even when I am there. There is no insult she has not poured on me, I have had to explain to her mother severally but the woman is simply helpless, her mother is dead scared of her. She exhibited some of these characters during our two years of courtship, but her mother and some brethren advised that she will change after marriage. She is always complaining of being tired, meanwhile, I do the dishes, do the vacuuming (sweeping), cleaning and other domestic duties, even when she cooks, I have to cut the ingredients and all that, in short she rarely cooks. We sleep in different rooms for 4 years counting now, occasionally I try to go to her room to initiate sex, but 99% of cases she chase me away, sometime she locks her door. She stopped me from sleeping in same room with her, when I asked why, shy did not say anything but after 4 months she said it was because I was snoring at night. Trust me anytime I am opportune to make love to her I make sure she climaxes…

It is so bad that even her sisters sometimes rebuke her in my presence, presently, she is not in talking terms with any of her siblings, and this has been on for the past three years. I am stuck with this lady, her mother cannot talk to her, no family member she respects. She is a loner.
To the extent that she makes friends and they always break up, she has no real close friends, even if they are close, trust me, before 6 months the relationship has gone sour.

lisbonabdulahi:
Hello Nairalanders, please I need you advice before I finally end this marriage.
I know I was at fault at the beginning for not stamping my authority , I showed her so much love, because she is a product of a broken home, I wanted her to know there is much more to life, now she has turned my love to foolishness, I do not want my kids to grow up without a father. That is why I have been very patient, but now … please read on.

I have been married for 11 years, with 4 kids. The truth is that we have never had really peace in the home for these years, everything is trouble, from the way I talk, eat, dress, use the toilet and sleep, just name them. The situation has been bad from the beginning, but the last three years has been hell for me and the kids, my wife shouts and complain over everything, she cannot go one full day with Joy, there is always one thing that annoys her, she has to be right on all issues, The very sad part is that whenever she does anything wrong and I ask her, there will be trouble, she will refuse to speak with me for as long as she like. We can go for weeks without really speaking with each other she enjoys it, she does not just bother at all. Each time these things happen, I am always the one that try to initiate peace.

I will like to give only one example to summarise everything going on in my home: two years ago, she will just leave the home without telling me, I called her and told her it is not right, she replied me promptly that it is her life, I can’t control her, and it is my life as well, I should do whatever I like with it. well I thought it was anger, however, I never mind, anytime I want to leave, I make sure I tell her till one day she called me and tell me that even if I keep informing her about my movements, that she is not going to change, she is not under any obligation to tell me where she is going to. My people, for two years counting now, that is how we have been doing it, we just leave without telling each other. BUT OCCASSIONALLY FOR SOME REASONS I DON’T KNOW, SHE WILL JUST TELL ME SHE IS GOING OUT TO XYZ.

She always insults me and even the kids, for any mistake they make and she never fails to tell them that they did not inherit their bad character from her, that they inherited their character from me, she says this consistently even when I am there. There is no insult she has not poured on me, I have had to explain to her mother severally but the woman is simply helpless, her mother is dead scared of her. She exhibited some of these characters during our two years of courtship, but her mother and some brethren advised that she will change after marriage. She is always complaining of being tired, meanwhile, I do the dishes, do the vacuuming (sweeping), cleaning and other domestic duties, even when she cooks, I have to cut the ingredients and all that, in short she rarely cooks. We sleep in different rooms for 4 years counting now, occasionally I try to go to her room to initiate sex, but 99% of cases she chase me away, sometime she locks her door. She stopped me from sleeping in same room with her, when I asked why, shy did not say anything but after 4 months she said it was because I was snoring at night. Trust me anytime I am opportune to make love to her I make sure she climaxes…

It is so bad that even her sisters sometimes rebuke her in my presence, presently, she is not in talking terms with any of her siblings, and this has been on for the past three years. I am stuck with this lady, her mother cannot talk to her, no family member she respects. She is a loner.
To the extent that she makes friends and they always break up, she has no real close friends, even if they are close, trust me, before 6 months the relationship has gone sour.

Sulukag:
Bro i think you need to engage in some other things that can make you happy,think less about her.Make more friends,if possible get gadgets like play station,play it till you are exhausted. Don't let her attitude bother you anymore,anytime she does crazy things instead of fighting back tell her things like,you are the most beautiful woman in the world,buy her gifts even if she will not cherish it. For every bad she does against you repay her with good and pray for your marriage.Cover her up when she is asleep,help iron her cloths,I bet you one day she will come crying begging you for forgiveness and she will change totally.

emynike2001:
No DOUBT,
Well said!



Over years i have come to realize that most couple that grew in a broken home, and eventually get married,


Can NOT sustain their own marriages,



THIS circle of broken home IS persistent, Later on in their lives, and sometimes be seen as a curse.




Every elements of a broken home IS traceable to an unseen WICKED force which didnt allow her parents to enjoy their own marriage and now raising its ugly head to also DESTORY her home as did the first.




This evil circle CAN Only be terminated by deliverance, u need to pray and involve your pastor if you are a christian.


You will be restored.

lalanice:
I've read a similar story before, makes me feel this story is made up.

lisbonabdulahi:
Hello Nairalanders, please I need you advice before I finally end this marriage.
I know I was at fault at the beginning for not stamping my authority , I showed her so much love, because she is a product of a broken home, I wanted her to know there is much more to life, now she has turned my love to foolishness, I do not want my kids to grow up without a father. That is why I have been very patient, but now … please read on.

I have been married for 11 years, with 4 kids. The truth is that we have never had really peace in the home for these years, everything is trouble, from the way I talk, eat, dress, use the toilet and sleep, just name them. The situation has been bad from the beginning, but the last three years has been hell for me and the kids, my wife shouts and complain over everything, she cannot go one full day with Joy, there is always one thing that annoys her, she has to be right on all issues, The very sad part is that whenever she does anything wrong and I ask her, there will be trouble, she will refuse to speak with me for as long as she like. We can go for weeks without really speaking with each other she enjoys it, she does not just bother at all. Each time these things happen, I am always the one that try to initiate peace.

I will like to give only one example to summarise everything going on in my home: two years ago, she will just leave the home without telling me, I called her and told her it is not right, she replied me promptly that it is her life, I can’t control her, and it is my life as well, I should do whatever I like with it. well I thought it was anger, however, I never mind, anytime I want to leave, I make sure I tell her till one day she called me and tell me that even if I keep informing her about my movements, that she is not going to change, she is not under any obligation to tell me where she is going to. My people, for two years counting now, that is how we have been doing it, we just leave without telling each other. BUT OCCASSIONALLY FOR SOME REASONS I DON’T KNOW, SHE WILL JUST TELL ME SHE IS GOING OUT TO XYZ.

She always insults me and even the kids, for any mistake they make and she never fails to tell them that they did not inherit their bad character from her, that they inherited their character from me, she says this consistently even when I am there. There is no insult she has not poured on me, I have had to explain to her mother severally but the woman is simply helpless, her mother is dead scared of her. She exhibited some of these characters during our two years of courtship, but her mother and some brethren advised that she will change after marriage. She is always complaining of being tired, meanwhile, I do the dishes, do the vacuuming (sweeping), cleaning and other domestic duties, even when she cooks, I have to cut the ingredients and all that, in short she rarely cooks. We sleep in different rooms for 4 years counting now, occasionally I try to go to her room to initiate sex, but 99% of cases she chase me away, sometime she locks her door. She stopped me from sleeping in same room with her, when I asked why, shy did not say anything but after 4 months she said it was because I was snoring at night. Trust me anytime I am opportune to make love to her I make sure she climaxes…

It is so bad that even her sisters sometimes rebuke her in my presence, presently, she is not in talking terms with any of her siblings, and this has been on for the past three years. I am stuck with this lady, her mother cannot talk to her, no family member she respects. She is a loner.
To the extent that she makes friends and they always break up, she has no real close friends, even if they are close, trust me, before 6 months the relationship has gone sour.

mukhcech:
No woman. This is how most homes are. Men are emotionally abused more than women. You must read so much from different people's experience.

NwaAmaikpe:


You will hate me if I tell you the truth..

But I didn't start typing this just to please you.

That your wife that treats you like trash melts at the sight of another man,
I doubt she has called you petnames in recent times but I can swear on Mungo Park's grave that she calls another man pet names.


She locks herself up in another room right? I'd tell you why...it's because she is either masturbating or having nude videocalls with one of her many social media, 'abroad-based' young lovers.

You want to sound like a good nice man, but Mr Man, you are a sissy...no real woman wants a sissy. They want a man who can exert his authority on them, in the home, on the bed, everywhere!!!!

Your wife leaves the house out of anger IMAGINE THAT NONSENSE!!!..where do you think she goes to? You think she goes for Night vigil at SYNAGOGUE Ikotun abi....she is in the house of one small fûckboy moaning his roof down and cursing the day she met you.

From the way you are going, very soon she'd give you the towel to hold while she bathes with another man in your bathroom.
I'm sure the few times she let's you touch her, she calls out another man's name.


Nwoke m, mepe anya!!!

Open your eyes and be a man

That dangling rod in between your leg is not for fancy, use it and cane some sense into her.
Use it and drive away the evil spirit out of her.
If you aren't so good, then use a real cane

swankmee:
My dear OP, from the look of things, your wife is suffering from evil family pattern. Since she is a product of a broken home am sure that was how mum behaved to her father. I won't advice you to leave your wife cause she obviously needs spiritual help. It will be better for you to go for deliverance(preferably in any MFM church) (if u are a Christian) and then keep praying this prayer point.
1. God should destroy every evil family pattern of her parents house.
2. That God should put his fear and love in her heart.
3. God should please make her into a virtuous woman according to proverbs 31.
4. And that God should put your love in her heart. I. E she shld love you more than herself.
If u pray this fervently every 12am to 2am everyday for 7days. My dear you will see changes. Remember God is still with you no matter what you are passing through, just speak to him. (remember God can change anything if you have faith in him and if she's a witch or she's purposely doing what she's doing, trust me God will humble her).

MizMyColi:
The worst thing that can happen to a man is to live with a woman who has no love, thoughtless and inconsiderate.

A man cannot change a woman, neither can a woman change a man.

When you get married to a human being, you need to understand that your marriage will not work unless you are ready to invest heavily in the virtues of love and kindness.

It pays to be open.
It pays to have a heart that is willing to let go.

I guess the woman harbors a lot of unforgiveness and hate in her heart.
She needs to become aware. She needs to connect with her truest and purest self.

Dear OP, I don't know how you will do it, but I think you have endured long enough.

Try to engage in things that make you happy.
Pray, seek divine counsel on what to do.

I will advise that you make peace with your current situation and try to avoid the negativity, all kinds of negativity.

I wish you well Sir.

lisbonabdulahi:
Hello Nairalanders, please I need you advice before I finally end this marriage.
I know I was at fault at the beginning for not stamping my authority , I showed her so much love, because she is a product of a broken home, I wanted her to know there is much more to life, now she has turned my love to foolishness, I do not want my kids to grow up without a father. That is why I have been very patient, but now … please read on.

I have been married for 11 years, with 4 kids. The truth is that we have never had really peace in the home for these years, everything is trouble, from the way I talk, eat, dress, use the toilet and sleep, just name them. The situation has been bad from the beginning, but the last three years has been hell for me and the kids, my wife shouts and complain over everything, she cannot go one full day with Joy, there is always one thing that annoys her, she has to be right on all issues, The very sad part is that whenever she does anything wrong and I ask her, there will be trouble, she will refuse to speak with me for as long as she like. We can go for weeks without really speaking with each other she enjoys it, she does not just bother at all. Each time these things happen, I am always the one that try to initiate peace.

I will like to give only one example to summarise everything going on in my home: two years ago, she will just leave the home without telling me, I called her and told her it is not right, she replied me promptly that it is her life, I can’t control her, and it is my life as well, I should do whatever I like with it. well I thought it was anger, however, I never mind, anytime I want to leave, I make sure I tell her till one day she called me and tell me that even if I keep informing her about my movements, that she is not going to change, she is not under any obligation to tell me where she is going to. My people, for two years counting now, that is how we have been doing it, we just leave without telling each other. BUT OCCASSIONALLY FOR SOME REASONS I DON’T KNOW, SHE WILL JUST TELL ME SHE IS GOING OUT TO XYZ.

She always insults me and even the kids, for any mistake they make and she never fails to tell them that they did not inherit their bad character from her, that they inherited their character from me, she says this consistently even when I am there. There is no insult she has not poured on me, I have had to explain to her mother severally but the woman is simply helpless, her mother is dead scared of her. She exhibited some of these characters during our two years of courtship, but her mother and some brethren advised that she will change after marriage. She is always complaining of being tired, meanwhile, I do the dishes, do the vacuuming (sweeping), cleaning and other domestic duties, even when she cooks, I have to cut the ingredients and all that, in short she rarely cooks. We sleep in different rooms for 4 years counting now, occasionally I try to go to her room to initiate sex, but 99% of cases she chase me away, sometime she locks her door. She stopped me from sleeping in same room with her, when I asked why, shy did not say anything but after 4 months she said it was because I was snoring at night. Trust me anytime I am opportune to make love to her I make sure she climaxes…

It is so bad that even her sisters sometimes rebuke her in my presence, presently, she is not in talking terms with any of her siblings, and this has been on for the past three years. I am stuck with this lady, her mother cannot talk to her, no family member she respects. She is a loner.
To the extent that she makes friends and they always break up, she has no real close friends, even if they are close, trust me, before 6 months the relationship has gone sour.

lisbonabdulahi:
A big amen. Actually I have been trying my bit. As I speak, neighbours have called me fool, but I do care. For example, I bought a car and she is the one using it, I take public transport to work, to me it is the least I can do for love

lisbonabdulahi:
you are right I was skeptical initially before writing thus story, I thought people will say unbearable things, but I was so depressed this evening and I decided to lessen the weight by writing

Allwility:
Your wife is going through a phase of life and might not even be able to explain it to herself. You could simply take the easy route and break up or the rugged path and help your wife through this phase. That she's not in sync with you is just because you are the closest to her and the most readily available for her to transfer her negative energies to. Assuming she's that way with just you but cool and happy with others then I'd have said she's stopped loving you. But since she doesn't have close friends and can't keep relationships with others then its not really about you.

Yes, you aren't her shrink but then you could roll up your sleeves and do the hard work. Keep showing her love, encourage her to visit a therapist, take time to go off somewhere romantic with her. Try to reconnect with her and at her own time she'll open up and you'd see the beauty you fell in love with. Marriage is all about tolerance and understanding. A wise man once said, marriage is not about how compatible we are but how much we are able to manage our incompatibilities.

I pray that the peace of God that passes all understanding reign in your home. All will be well.

MrHenshaw:
@ Lalanice u just read my mind.

humilitypays:
I was just shaking my head while reading some comments above yours. You told the op the saddest truth!

I know some bad guys; they are doing many super hot married ladies‎, and most are based abroad.

Nigerian ladies go gaga for young bo‎ys living abroad or young successful guys living alone in Nigeria.

If you are a married man reading this, pls if your wife exhibit any nonsense character as posted by the op, plz divorce her, don't pity her or listen to any counselor nonsense!

Many married ladies are sleeping around nowadays and playing their hubby, don't ever condone that, divorce the woman to go and marry her young lover!

Don't marry any girl who doesn't see u as her hero o!! Marry the lady who worships u, respects u, obeys u, trembles at your sight and smiles when u are talking with other people!

Don't marry any girl u begged to accept your marriage proposal! If Miss A rejects your proposal, abeg smile, laugh and go for Miss B, and if Miss B refuses, Miss C might even be hotter and more better, don't beg any girl to marry you, every man is a king that ought to be worshipped, call me a mysogenist it's alright!‎

For any marriage to work, woman suppose love the man more! Take it or leave it!‎ Don't marry a woman u love more than she loves u, she will frustrate your life!

Allwility:
Your wife is going through a phase of life and might not even be able to explain it to herself. You could simply take the easy route and break up or the rugged path and help your wife through this phase. That she's not in sync with you is just because you are the closest to her and the most readily available for her to transfer her negative energies to. Assuming she's that way with just you but cool and happy with others then I'd have said she's stopped loving you. But since she doesn't have close friends and can't keep relationships with others then its not really about you.

Yes, you aren't her shrink but then you could roll up your sleeves and do the hard work. Keep showing her love, encourage her to visit a therapist, take time to go off somewhere romantic with her. Try to reconnect with her and at her own time she'll open up and you'd see the beauty you fell in love with. Marriage is all about tolerance and understanding. A wise man once said, marriage is not about how compatible we are but how much we are able to manage our incompatibilities.

I pray that the peace of God that passes all understanding reign in your home. All will be well.