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I Dont Know How To Get Him Off My Mind: Pls Help! - Romance - Nairaland

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I Dont Know How To Get Him Off My Mind: Pls Help! by havilla(f): 9:14pm On Apr 07, 2010
i met this guy in 2005 when i was in naija, we started talking and within months we developed strong feelings for each other, he was soo good to me , he made me laugh and i felt soo happy being around him, the chemistry was just spot on, but unfortunately he is my brothers friend older brother and my brother didnt like the idea when he found out because i was 18 years old then and the guy was 23 yrs old, he also said the guy was not an ambitious person because he didnt have a job back then. he called the guy and warned him seriously to back off, when i called him later he told me we should just forget it. ever since then i havent been the same because i think about him alot, i mean its been almost six years but i cant seem to get him out of my mind, i have even dated someone else for three years but the feeling doesnt go away, no one seems to make me feel the same way he does. when i met him like two years ago, i was surprised to know that he was going through the same thing because we kept staring at each other and i could feel the chemistry in the air and he even tried to kiss me. when i went home last xmas my sister told me of how he has gotten a good job and he has even bought his fiance a brand new car, the fact that he loves someone else enough to buy a car for her is what pained me the most. i dont know if its true love or lust or if its even an obssession, but i want to move on and get this guy out of my memory forever, but everything i do isnt working cry. pls help me!!!!
Re: I Dont Know How To Get Him Off My Mind: Pls Help! by omega25red(m): 9:24pm On Apr 07, 2010
well now that you are old enough to talk for yourself without your brother's permission, you should call him to let him not to profess your love for him but to get closure. Trust me other hot guys will come around and you wont even remember that dude. Also are you just thinking of him because you are single right now?

was he with his fiance when he tried to kiss you??  and why is his willingness to buy his woman a car paining you.

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Re: I Dont Know How To Get Him Off My Mind: Pls Help! by havilla(f): 9:45pm On Apr 07, 2010
omega25red:

well now that you are old enough to talk for yourself without your brother's permission, you should call him to let him not to profess your love for him but to get closure. Trust me other hot guys will come around and you wont even remember that dude. Also are you just thinking of him because you are single right now?

was he with his fiance when he tried to kiss you?? and why is his willingness to buy his woman a car paining you.

i cant tell him how i feel now becos he is with someone else. am actually not single, am in a relationship with a really sweet guy. he wasnt with his fiance then, he was single. and lastly i never said it was the fact he bought her a car that pained me but rather the fact that he loved her enough to buy her one (there is a difference).

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Re: I Dont Know How To Get Him Off My Mind: Pls Help! by na2day2(m): 9:51pm On Apr 07, 2010
havilla:

i met this guy in 2005 when i was in naija, we started talking and within months we developed strong feelings for each other, he was soo good to me , he made me laugh and i felt soo happy being around him, the chemistry was just spot on, but unfortunately he is my brothers friend older brother and my brother didnt like the idea when he found out because i was 18 years old then and the guy was 23 yrs old, he also said the guy was not an ambitious person because he didnt have a job back then. he called the guy and warned him seriously to back off, when i called him later he told me we should just forget it. ever since then i havent been the same because i think about him alot, i mean its been almost six years but i cant seem to get him out of my mind, i have even dated someone else for three years but the feeling doesnt go away, no one seems to make me feel the same way he does. when i met him like two years ago, i was surprised to know that he was going through the same thing because we kept staring at each other and i could feel the chemistry in the air and he even tried to kiss me. when i went home last xmas my sister told me of how he has gotten a good job and he has even bought his fiance a brand new car, the fact that he loves someone else enough to buy a car for her is what pained me the most. i dont know if its true love or lust or if its even an obssession, but i want to move on and get this guy out of my memory forever, but everything i do isnt working cry. pls help me!!!!

so technically u want the new car, right? lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed

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Re: I Dont Know How To Get Him Off My Mind: Pls Help! by Areaboy2(m): 10:06pm On Apr 07, 2010
easiest way to get over one person is to get involved with another,

i guess i can help u cheesy tongue
Re: I Dont Know How To Get Him Off My Mind: Pls Help! by omega25red(m): 10:22pm On Apr 07, 2010
havilla:

never said it was the fact he bought her a car that pained me but rather the fact that he loved her enough to buy her one (there is a difference).
so let me get this straight if someone shows you love by getting you a car then they must really love you I say this because if you refused my initial arguement then this is the only other explanation.
Anyway you will have to find a way to cope because for now you are both unavailable

na2day?:

so technically u want the new car, right? lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed
LMAO i know right she want a car too (joking)
Re: I Dont Know How To Get Him Off My Mind: Pls Help! by DanG1(m): 10:57pm On Apr 07, 2010
Ok, baby girl, its so simple, try to get in touch with him, and both of you talk about everything and then you can get to know his plans and from there you can carry on, its better to try n fail than not even trying at all,
Not trying to talk with him, will make u always ask yourself why didnt you give it a shot . Its your life,

1 Like

Re: I Dont Know How To Get Him Off My Mind: Pls Help! by abrahym(m): 10:23am On Apr 08, 2010
I guess his ur first love?
Re: I Dont Know How To Get Him Off My Mind: Pls Help! by idifu(m): 10:37am On Apr 08, 2010
holla @ da soppaman luva i am gonna ease ur mind and you wouldnt worry about him any more
Re: I Dont Know How To Get Him Off My Mind: Pls Help! by up2u: 10:56am On Apr 08, 2010
Just say the truth, No one has ever 4uked u the way hem use to. because if u gat someone new blowing ur brain, u would only think about him as past-tense.
Re: I Dont Know How To Get Him Off My Mind: Pls Help! by petebor02(m): 11:07am On Apr 08, 2010
infact it is a simple thing, take off proud, let the guy know how you feel about him,maybe he feel the same way too but dont know how to relate it with you cos of ur brother. i know how you feel.but if it doesnt workout, then try and love the guy in ur life now.
Re: I Dont Know How To Get Him Off My Mind: Pls Help! by petebor02(m): 11:12am On Apr 08, 2010
let me say this. most you dont buy a car 4 a lady all because you love her somuch,but just because u have the money or to be at ease from her demandings. im i right?
Re: I Dont Know How To Get Him Off My Mind: Pls Help! by Spyker: 11:34am On Apr 08, 2010
We cannot advise you enough here, if he has a fiance, then he is ready to marry her.
Quietly backoff before you spoil their plans.
Re: I Dont Know How To Get Him Off My Mind: Pls Help! by havilla(f): 1:47pm On Apr 08, 2010
Spyker:

We cannot advise you enough here, if he has a fiance, then he is ready to marry her.
Quietly backoff before you spoil their plans.

i dont intend to spoil anything, as i said i want to get over him but its difficult. i would never do anything like that

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Re: I Dont Know How To Get Him Off My Mind: Pls Help! by jfking2005(m): 2:22pm On Apr 08, 2010
let me advise you secretly,

[size=4pt][/size]no man has ever f*ck u d way he did, call him secretly and be digging it 2geda because you havent gotten enough of him b4 he called it quit.

after you are okay. then both of you will end it.

After that you will be satisfied

what abt dat? grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Re: I Dont Know How To Get Him Off My Mind: Pls Help! by r231(m): 2:27pm On Apr 08, 2010
^^^^^^ ;d :d ;d ;d
Re: I Dont Know How To Get Him Off My Mind: Pls Help! by havilla(f): 4:35pm On Apr 08, 2010
@jfking2005 and up2u

we have never had sex before, infact the way i feel for him has nothing to do with sex, i just love his personality. hope i can feel this way for someone else cry
Re: I Dont Know How To Get Him Off My Mind: Pls Help! by na2day2(m): 5:38pm On Apr 08, 2010
havilla:

@jfking2005 and up2u

we have never had intimacy before, infact the way i feel for him has nothing to do with intimacy, i just love his personality. hope i can feel this way for someone else cry

dont forget the brand new car lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed
Re: I Dont Know How To Get Him Off My Mind: Pls Help! by Willdidi(m): 6:03pm On Apr 08, 2010
If u realy care about dis dude why not make ur intensions known 2 him instead of dieing in silence
Re: I Dont Know How To Get Him Off My Mind: Pls Help! by Voned(f): 6:34pm On Apr 08, 2010
Hey guys she need your advise and not you guys antagonising her. Havilla i think you should talk to him and tell him your feelings, if he tells you he is in love with his fiance, then just leave him and pray to God to help u forget about him. Help yourself to forget about him.
Re: I Dont Know How To Get Him Off My Mind: Pls Help! by omega25red(m): 7:01pm On Apr 08, 2010
Voned:

Hey guys she need your advise and not you guys antagonising her. Havilla i think you should talk to him and tell him your feelings, if he tells you he is in love with his fiance, then just leave him and pray to God to help u forget about him. Help yourself to forget about him.
^^^ cute pic on your profile but who be the mey gaurd for your picture grin
na2day?:

dont forget the brand new car lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed
^^^^ cheesy cheesy ;DLMAOROF
Re: I Dont Know How To Get Him Off My Mind: Pls Help! by Flashfast1: 7:48pm On Apr 08, 2010
@havilla
Its clear you really love(d) the guy, but the truth is that he is with someone now (someone intends to MARRY). I believe your feelings for him is still very strong because there may be something that is missing in you current relationship. Yes he (your current boyfriend) may be a nice guy but that doesn't mean he is a perfect fit. But i can't advice you to leave him rather my advice is that you try to spend more time with your boyfriend. Maybe then you will see some qualities that will make you appreciate him more and forget about the other guy

1 Like

Re: I Dont Know How To Get Him Off My Mind: Pls Help! by Voned(f): 7:56pm On Apr 08, 2010
[quote omega25red cute pic on your profile but who be the mey gaurd for your picture



thanks and the guy you see at the background is a security man in a bank
Re: I Dont Know How To Get Him Off My Mind: Pls Help! by na2day2(m): 3:19am On Apr 09, 2010
Voned:

[quote omega25red cute pic on your profile but who be the mey gaurd for your picture



thanks and the guy you see at the background is a security man in a bank

such a handsome guy behind u, is he ur boyfriend?
Re: I Dont Know How To Get Him Off My Mind: Pls Help! by TewMuch: 3:56am On Apr 09, 2010
@ poster,
We dont always have to have something with everyone we flirt with or who we thought we should have been with. Life moves on, and he has moved on too. Dont worry, you will get over it. He already has a fiance who he has introduced to his family, and would not leave her for you. All that will happen is an affair, and at the end of the day he would still get married to his fiance. I think you are a little jealous of what he has become and are thinking what if. Move on and leave him alone to be happy, you will get over him with time. Just take your eyes off this one. Besides if he has an affair with you, you dont want to end up with a man that cheated on someone else to be with you. There is nothing special about you, he will cheat when you finally think you have him all to yourself.
Re: I Dont Know How To Get Him Off My Mind: Pls Help! by mylove4him(f): 3:53pm On Apr 09, 2010
Just think of the fact that he did not try getting ur brother to understand that he loves u should tell u a lot about it. If it was true love n not lust he would kept in touch n even try harder to let ur bro understands. So the earlier u know that he has moved on the better 4 u to think less of him. try to see every good thing about ur new relationship n u will be happy that u did not end up with him.

1 Like

Re: I Dont Know How To Get Him Off My Mind: Pls Help! by chire(m): 6:51pm On Apr 09, 2010
@ poster,

I can see that you are in love with this guy.That's what it seems.
You are even jealous that he bought something for another lady.
Unfortunately, the more you try get rid of him,the more you will think of him, and thus the deeper you fall in love with him.
If you are in a relationship with "a sweet guy", and yet you still think about this naija man, then,there's probably nothing more anyone can do about it.
Forget about the fact that he has a fiance and tell him how you are feeling.
You are not asking him to leave his fiance.you are just telling him how you feel.They are two different things.
Talk to him first and get his side of the story.From his response,you will know his mind.
The fact that he bought a car for his fiance does not mean that he has no feelings for you.
It could even be that he really likes you and was(is) scared of your brother.
Best Wishes.
Re: I Dont Know How To Get Him Off My Mind: Pls Help! by Gifted01(m): 2:42am On Apr 10, 2010
From ur story,it seems like u don't luv ur boyfriend cus if u do,i don't expect u to still think of that guy cus i believe in that parable that says "a bird in hand worth millions in d forest" value what u have,move on with ur boyfriend and u will find better love in him.Goodluck
Re: I Dont Know How To Get Him Off My Mind: Pls Help! by DanG1(m): 3:08am On Apr 10, 2010
Hi, like I said earlier, try talking to him, and both of getting to know the options you have, and things can move on from there. If it is certain he doesn't need you anymore, then you move on. Simple, but not that simple though
Re: I Dont Know How To Get Him Off My Mind: Pls Help! by master2(m): 8:12am On Apr 10, 2010
Ur bro thought u were 2 gud 4 this guy hence he scared him away. U 2 didn't help matters bcoz u refuse 2 fight 4 what u believe in & what ur heart desires.Perhaps u were also doubting this guy.
From ur post its obvious u 2 still feel something 4 each. I will suggest b4 d guy gets married u 2 should get together and have a quality time. Express ur feel and get down 2 a nice f.u, c k. By that u guys will satisfy d craving 4 each other. If u both luv each other then u guys should get married. Marrying the person u don't luv is the worst thing that could happen to a person - its living hell.
Re: I Dont Know How To Get Him Off My Mind: Pls Help! by omenka(m): 1:03pm On Apr 10, 2010
i realy felt for u but you ruined d party when u sed d part that pains u most is that he ' bought a brand nu car' 4 sm1 else. c'mon shawty if its luv then d ride should constitute d least of ur worries. embarassed
get a 1 nyt stand with a porn star n bob's ur uncle. my three cents.
Re: I Dont Know How To Get Him Off My Mind: Pls Help! by SleekReek(m): 6:55pm On Apr 10, 2010
Buying a lady a car doesn't show he loves her,some men just like to give.Now if the attempt to kiss you was while he still had fiancee,then there is a problem,but for in your case you still love him,so having a sweet guy doesn't cut it.Call him,talk to him and get closure,but not with any intimacy i beg you that will really complicate things, but on another thought get over it by simply praying and let him be,you may complicate matters by speaking to him.May God give you wisdom on what to do.

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