She told me of being pregnant and later had a stillbirth at the 7months.

The background.
I met her when we were teens and have always loved her. She refused me sex and along the line, her neighbor gave me (who is her relation). She learnt about this and we had our first break up.
We both got admission into different universities and couldn't see again.
We later met again and settled with a condition that there would be no sex. This didn't go down well with me and I called it off. This repeated and there was even a time I walked her out of my house because of this issue and didn't give her tfare. My house is like 1hr drive from where she lives.
The issue:
I love this girl to the extent that anytime I thought of getting married, she will come to mind.
Now I have a good job and she's done with school. I proposed to her and she accepted it.
Is about 3 months now, she came on my birthday 3 months ago. That was all. She doesn't come always because she stays with her elder brother and can't leave house just like that.

Note, we haven't had sex till now.

About 2 weeks ago, I told her about how I got a girl pregnant and we had to abort it and that since then I haven't been myself. That it pains me to this day. We talked about it and she was sorry over it.

Yesterday, we had a very deep discussion and she revealed to me that she had a relationship at school. They were together for 4yrs. I then asked her if she had ever missed her period. She said yes. But not to this school boyfriend but another man. She wanted to keep the pregnancy but her parents refused because the guy is not a good person. The guy wanted the pregnancy but her family didn't want the guy to marry her. She finally had a stillbirth at the 7th month.

I was stunned. I know she's not a virgin, she told me but I was confused. Sex had always been our problem and I never expected that she had experienced something like this. Now she asked me that she hope she won't regret telling me this. I told her no that she won't regret but I'm stunned.

Please should I still go on with this marriage?

From your write up I think she's trying to test you and see how you will react to her dark side too. She might as well be hurt to hear the dark side of you and maybe she cooked something up to see your reaction too.

My observation though.

madridguy u are on point .But girls abi nah slay queen u generation. kal them can't be trust when it come to em. em

Op u also aborted a pregnancy, abeg both of u are the same, I don't know if u should marry but the way u guys are revealing secrets to yourselves is also a good sign.

Its for you to decide.

You don't love her. You are just longing for what you are yet to taste. Marriage is not a game. If you can have a sexual relationship with her before marriage and you still feel like marrying her, then go for it!

madridguy:
From your write up I think she's trying to test you and see how you will react to her dark side too. She might as well be hurt to hear the dark side of you and maybe she cooked something up to see your reaction too.

My observation though.

I don't think she's trying to test me

whitebeard:
Op u also aborted a pregnancy, abeg both of u are the same, I don't know if u should marry but the way u guys are revealing secrets to yourselves is also a good sign.

My worry is why she had always refused me sex whereas she's this exposed. Could it be because of this she accepted my proposal?

zed7:
You don't love her. You are just longing for what you are yet to taste. Marriage is not a game. If you can have a sexual relationship with her before marriage and you still feel like marrying her, then go for it!

I truly love her and had stopped talking about sex long before this time

Nerdg:


I truly love her and had stopped talking about sex long before this time

Then marry her. Would you prefer to hear this news after marriage? Things happen, move on.

The secret isn't exactly dark IMO. No one is perfect if she fit the wife bill, wife her man

If you can also tell us the financial gain you have incurred

Then we will be able to help

sarrki:
If you can also tell us the financial gain you have incurred

Then we will be able to help

Money shouldn't be part of this, I think? However, I foot her bills and she's very comfortable with it

Nerdg:


I don't think she's trying to test me



My worry is why she had always refused me sex whereas she's this exposed. Could it be because of this she accepted my proposal?

yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes it like she is trying to start afresh, u know forget the old lifestyle, start a new one in marriage, op just so u know, if u guys eventually get married and u fuçk up outside, it the end, better start learning how to control yourself. If u wanna marry her just because u wanna have sex with her do not marry her, marriage is a thing of pride and respect. In the sense that u both have pride that u are married to each other and u respect each other by not fuçking outside, and other respectable stuffs. Carefully take your steps.

Why the double standard though?

She's coming from the same situation as you and you are not the best person to judge her.
If you can't stand it thou, quietly end things with her

I Dont even have a word to say

Nerdg:
She told me of being pregnant and later had a stillbirth at the 7months.

The background.
I met her when we were teens and have always loved her. She refused me sex and along the line, her neighbor gave me (who is her relation). She learnt about this and we had our first break up.
We both got admission into different universities and couldn't see again.
We later met again and settled with a condition that there would be no sex. This didn't go down well with me and I called it off. This repeated and there was even a time I walked her out of my house because of this issue and didn't give her tfare. My house is like 1hr drive from where she lives.
The issue:
I love this girl to the extent that anytime I thought of getting married, she will come to mind.
Now I have a good job and she's done with school. I proposed to her and she accepted it.
Is about 3 months now, she came on my birthday 3 months ago. That was all. She doesn't come always because she stays with her elder brother and can't leave house just like that.

Note, we haven't had sex till now.

About 2 weeks ago, I told her about how I got a girl pregnant and we had to abort it and that since then I haven't been myself. That it pains me to this day. We talked about it and she was sorry over it.

Yesterday, we had a very deep discussion and she revealed to me that she had a relationship at school. They were together for 4yrs. I then asked her if she had ever missed her period. She said yes. But not to this school boyfriend but another man. She wanted to keep the pregnancy but her parents refused because the guy is not a good person. The guy wanted the pregnancy but her family didn't want the guy to marry her. She finally had a stillbirth at the 7th month.

I was stunned. I know she's not a virgin, she told me but I was confused. Sex had always been our problem and I never expected that she had experienced something like this. Now she asked me that she hope she won't regret telling me this. I told her no that she won't regret but I'm stunned.

Please should I still go on with this marriage?

Young man, so you want to marry refurbished entity that has been forming reserved and rarely used?

I just dey sweat for your a$$.

I won't marry her if I were you. However, do as your heart directs you.

decatalyst:


Young man, so you want to marry refurbished entity that has been forming reserved and rarely used?

I just dey sweat for your a$$.

Don't mind the OP. The babe is a manipulator and he can't see it because of love. Once he pricks her now reality will dawn on him.

It's so good u have a lady that holds nothing back and tells u about her past.
I like such persons.

Everyone have regretful pasts which includes u and I. But learning and improving on such events in our pasts is the most important of all because it makes us better individuals.

If you still love her and u're led to marry her, please go ahead and do marry her,without asking questions.

After all she didn't walk out on u when you told her u put another lady in the family way and still went on to abort it just 2 weeks ago. Rather She showed remorse despite cheating on her big time.

In this case, u are the concern and not her based on ur sex escapades and history.

infogenius:
It's so good u have a lady that holds nothing back and tells u about her past.
I like such persons.

Everyone have regretful pasts which includes u and I. But learning and improving on such events in our pasts is the most important of all because it makes us better individuals.

If you still love her and u're led to marry her, please go ahead and do marry her,without asking questions.

After all she didn't walk out on u when you told her u put another lady in the family way and still went on to abort it just 2 weeks ago. Rather She showed remorse despite cheating on her big time.

In this case, u are the concern and not her based on ur sex escapades and history.

Not 2 weeks ago. I told the story two weeks ago. Thanks anyway

obyrich:
Don't mind the OP. The babe is a manipulator and he can't see it because of love. Once he pricks her now reality will dawn on him.

Why did she voice it out?

Nerdg:
She told me of being pregnant and later had a stillbirth at the 7months.

The background.
I met her when we were teens and have always loved her. She refused me sex and along the line, her neighbor gave me (who is her relation). She learnt about this and we had our first break up.
We both got admission into different universities and couldn't see again.
We later met again and settled with a condition that there would be no sex. This didn't go down well with me and I called it off. This repeated and there was even a time I walked her out of my house because of this issue and didn't give her tfare. My house is like 1hr drive from where she lives.
The issue:
I love this girl to the extent that anytime I thought of getting married, she will come to mind.
Now I have a good job and she's done with school. I proposed to her and she accepted it.
Is about 3 months now, she came on my birthday 3 months ago. That was all. She doesn't come always because she stays with her elder brother and can't leave house just like that.

Note, we haven't had sex till now.

About 2 weeks ago, I told her about how I got a girl pregnant and we had to abort it and that since then I haven't been myself. That it pains me to this day. We talked about it and she was sorry over it.

Yesterday, we had a very deep discussion and she revealed to me that she had a relationship at school. They were together for 4yrs. I then asked her if she had ever missed her period. She said yes. But not to this school boyfriend but another man. She wanted to keep the pregnancy but her parents refused because the guy is not a good person. The guy wanted the pregnancy but her family didn't want the guy to marry her. She finally had a stillbirth at the 7th month.

I was stunned. I know she's not a virgin, she told me but I was confused. Sex had always been our problem and I never expected that she had experienced something like this. Now she asked me that she hope she won't regret telling me this. I told her no that she won't regret but I'm stunned.

Please should I still go on with this marriage?

Nigga run from that b####.

.

How exactly do you imagine yourself better than her or in a position to judge her?
Please explain your thought process to me.

She didn't even have an abortion. She had a still birth. so you're judging her for having had sex before she met you meanwhile you've been a hoe about town? Explain yourself sir.

Nerdg:


Why did she voice it out?

Part of the game! She wants to settle down and for fear of the OP finding out himself, she had to let him know with a promise not to change his attitude after hearing the secret. That's how manipulators behave. They box you into a tight corner where you will see yourself trying either to justify their wrong actions or wallowing in pity for them.

cococandy:
How exactly do you imagine yourself better than her or in a position to judge her?
Please explain your thought process to me.

She didn't even have an abortion. She had a still birth. so you're judging her for having had sex before she met you meanwhile you've been a hoe about town? Explain yourself sir.

Did you read the part I said all our break-ups were because she refused sex with me. Why do she do this? My problem is why we had issues because of sex and she's getting it somewhere else?

I don't get it. I came here looking for a super dark secret and found none.

I don't even know or understand why you are now thinking of not marrying her. It wasn't like she got pregnant WHILE you guys were dating. She had a stillbirth, so what? Is it her fault? You and your ex did worse, you ABORTED a child who was unfortunate to be yours.

I also don't get how sex is related to she having a stillbirth, and you aborting. It seems that's the real problem here: "sex"

What is 'exposing' about having a stillbirth?

You are the one to judge. You are a bloody hypocrite! I wouldn't normally say this but most people would consider you more morally bankrupt than a person who chose to keep a baby. You aborted a baby for goodness sake. You have no standing to feel somehow or think anyhow of someone who chose to keep a baby.

And if it is sex that makes you think that she is exposed, you have personal issues you really need to deal with. You have no moral high ground to an opinion on this issue. Walk away if you can't take it. She definitely doesn't deserve to be subjected to your 'thoughts'.

Nerdg:


I don't think she's trying to test me



My worry is why she had always refused me sex whereas she's this exposed. Could it be because of this she accepted my proposal?

Sterope:
What is 'exposing' about having a stillbirth?

You are the one to judge. You are a bloody hypocrite! I wouldn't normally say this but most people would consider you more morally bankrupt than a person who chose to keep a baby. You aborted a baby for goodness sake. You have no standing to feel somehow or think anyhow of someone who chose to keep a baby.

And if it is sex that makes you think that she is exposed, you have personal issues you need to really with. You have no moral high ground to an opinion on this issue. Walk away if you can't take it. She definitely doesn't deserve to be subjected to your 'thoughts'.

It's all about the sex thing. That's the only thing he seems interested in, according to me

True, he is not really interested in her. His issue is with her refusal to have sex with him. She has definitely made a good decision.

lovelygurl:


It's all a bit the sex thing. That's the only he thing he seems interested in, according to me

Sterope:
True, he is not really interested in her. His issue is with her refusal to have sex with him. She has definitely made a good decision.

Don't say what you don't know, I asked for advice and not your Masturbation on the thread

She may not have been ready initially. You were so desperate that you slept with another because of it, that is a red flag to refuse you many times over. However it does sound suspicious for her to refuse you again especially if she was sexually active in a preceding relationship before this one but then it is a bit understandable given your history.


Aren't you a Christian? Isn't premarital sex a sin?. Keep your body holy for God. If you want sex, marry her.

Nerdg:


Did you read the part I said all our break-ups were because she refused sex with me. Why do she do this? My problem is why we had issues because of sex and she's getting it somewhere else?