₦airaland Forum

Op this is my thoughts on what happened.

This young lady most likely made a vow at some point in her life not to have sex before marriage. Virgin or not.

Since u cheated on her ans dumped her because she refused u sex, her next relationship she had to break her vow in order to maintain the relationship. Then she became pregnant out of wedlock and realised her mistake.

Now she is determined more than ever to close her legs untill marriage.
It has nothing to do with u op.

On the other hand, u have no moral right to judge her for a still birth. She from what u have said has a higher moral standing than u... that's the truth.
You had an abortion. (Deliberately)
She lost a baby. (Unintentional)
It's very different senerio. God probably let the baby go so she won't ruin her chances at a good suitor.

You have a good lady who is willing to tell all. So many women would never admit such.

MARRY HER FAST!!
Her type is very scarce o..

cococandy:
How exactly do you imagine yourself better than her or in a position to judge her?
Please explain your thought process to me.

She didn't even have an abortion. She had a still birth. so you're judging her for having had sex before she met you meanwhile you've been a hoe about town? Explain yourself sir.

The tin taya me

Nerdg:
I don't think she's trying to test me



My worry is why she had always refused me sex whereas she's this exposed. Could it be because of this she accepted my proposal?

she is still hurt by her past experience and don't want it to repeat again.

YelloweWest:
Bless ur heart. I like the fact that this came from a guy. Weldone for good moral. Your mom did a great job.

However in this case the girl is even better than the op. She didn't abort. She had a still birth. That's out of her control.

thanks, u have a point, but had she put to birth, I don't think the op will give up on her.

My dear,She is not worth all the trouble that comes with marriage. Marriage comes with a lot of emotional bru-ha ha. Whether you believe it or not,you will find out un due course. This girl is already controlling you even before marriage. You will weep.
Why deny you sex while giving freely to others. She wasn't raped abii?
Even if she is testing your reaction because of what you told her, still drop her. It is her perfect manipulation strategy that has made her unforgettable to you.
Beeping here and there while manipulating you for marriage by pretending to be what she is not .
Marriage is serious business. For it to work a man must marry someone who is submissive, at least at the early stages.That way your project called marriage will blossom over the years.Not marrying someone who is already ahead of the man in calculations.

For me Bros it should be a thing of pride for any lady to open her mouth and share such secret with you because it takes a strong mind to say such. Who will even want sex after passing through such drama of STILLBIRTH uhmmm please if you love her marry her,if you don't let her be.that is why I always say keep your mouth shut ladies.

OP, no be person go marry the one wey you abort for? Una two go have perfect life based on similar experiences, that's if she's not lying about it.

But seriously, if she didn't lie about the abortion, na nemesis catch up with you be that o. Lol

Nerdg:
She told me of being pregnant and later had a stillbirth at the 7months.

The background.
I met her when we were teens and have always loved her. She refused me sex and along the line, her neighbor gave me (who is her relation). She learnt about this and we had our first break up.
We both got admission into different universities and couldn't see again.
We later met again and settled with a condition that there would be no sex. This didn't go down well with me and I called it off. This repeated and there was even a time I walked her out of my house because of this issue and didn't give her tfare. My house is like 1hr drive from where she lives.
The issue:
I love this girl to the extent that anytime I thought of getting married, she will come to mind.
Now I have a good job and she's done with school. I proposed to her and she accepted it.
Is about 3 months now, she came on my birthday 3 months ago. That was all. She doesn't come always because she stays with her elder brother and can't leave house just like that.

Note, we haven't had sex till now.

About 2 weeks ago, I told her about how I got a girl pregnant and we had to abort it and that since then I haven't been myself. That it pains me to this day. We talked about it and she was sorry over it.

Yesterday, we had a very deep discussion and she revealed to me that she had a relationship at school. They were together for 4yrs. I then asked her if she had ever missed her period. She said yes. But not to this school boyfriend but another man. She wanted to keep the pregnancy but her parents refused because the guy is not a good person. The guy wanted the pregnancy but her family didn't want the guy to marry her. She finally had a stillbirth at the 7th month.

I was stunned. I know she's not a virgin, she told me but I was confused. Sex had always been our problem and I never expected that she had experienced something like this. Now she asked me that she hope she won't regret telling me this. I told her no that she won't regret but I'm stunned.

Please should I still go

Let her go she doesn't love u, y would she test u, for wot? Since she has tasted man b4 ur own should not b new to her after all she knws u love her. U've been waiting so long. Let her go, take ur mind off her that's all.

whitebeard:
thanks, u have a point, but had she put to birth, I don't think the op will give up on her.

If u don't judge someone for having sex, u can't judge another for giving birth. Cos the consequences of unprotected sex (which both the op and his fiancé are guilty of) is pregnancy. Which will lead to either abortion or child birth.

So I can't really judge her for that.

Nerdg:
She told me of being pregnant and later had a stillbirth at the 7months.

The background.
I met her when we were teens and have always loved her. She refused me sex and along the line, her neighbor gave me (who is her relation). She learnt about this and we had our first break up.
We both got admission into different universities and couldn't see again.
We later met again and settled with a condition that there would be no sex. This didn't go down well with me and I called it off. This repeated and there was even a time I walked her out of my house because of this issue and didn't give her tfare. My house is like 1hr drive from where she lives.
The issue:
I love this girl to the extent that anytime I thought of getting married, she will come to mind.
Now I have a good job and she's done with school. I proposed to her and she accepted it.
Is about 3 months now, she came on my birthday 3 months ago. That was all. She doesn't come always because she stays with her elder brother and can't leave house just like that.

Note, we haven't had sex till now.

About 2 weeks ago, I told her about how I got a girl pregnant and we had to abort it and that since then I haven't been myself. That it pains me to this day. We talked about it and she was sorry over it.

Yesterday, we had a very deep discussion and she revealed to me that she had a relationship at school. They were together for 4yrs. I then asked her if she had ever missed her period. She said yes. But not to this school boyfriend but another man. She wanted to keep the pregnancy but her parents refused because the guy is not a good person. The guy wanted the pregnancy but her family didn't want the guy to marry her. She finally had a stillbirth at the 7th month.

I was stunned. I know she's not a virgin, she told me but I was confused. Sex had always been our problem and I never expected that she had experienced something like this. Now she asked me that she hope she won't regret telling me this. I told her no that she won't regret but I'm stunned.

Please should I still go on with this marriage?

u might hate this girl after sex,
i guess u give it more time
a girl that refused u while giving it to others,might repeat it in marriage...

The op only wants sex. I used to date a man like this. He did everything in pursuit of sex, even proposing marriage. I'm glad I never gave in. Men like the op will beat you silly once they get their prize. It's not love. They only want it because they cannot have it. Once they get it, you will no longer be worth anything to them. I really believe the lady is testing the op because she suspects he is not genuine.

Nerdg:
I don't think she's trying to test me



My worry is why she had always refused me sex whereas she's this exposed. Could it be because of this she accepted my proposal?

maybe she don't find you sexually attractive enough to have sex with you, most ladies are like that if they don't find you sexually attractive if you like do your best they won't give you puna. So I hope when you guys get married you can enjoy your sex life's not that you will beg and pet her when ever you want to make love to her this things matters a lot in marriage it leads to lots of divorce..

YelloweWest:
If u don't judge someone for having sex, u can't judge another for giving birth. Cos the consequences of unprotected sex (which both the op and his fiancé are guilty of) is pregnancy. Which will lead to either abortion or child birth.

So I can't really judge her for that.

yeah that's true

Nerdg:
She told me of being pregnant and later had a stillbirth at the 7months.

The background.
I met her when we were teens and have always loved her. She refused me sex and along the line, her neighbor gave me (who is her relation). She learnt about this and we had our first break up.
We both got admission into different universities and couldn't see again.
We later met again and settled with a condition that there would be no sex. This didn't go down well with me and I called it off. This repeated and there was even a time I walked her out of my house because of this issue and didn't give her tfare. My house is like 1hr drive from where she lives.
The issue:
I love this girl to the extent that anytime I thought of getting married, she will come to mind.
Now I have a good job and she's done with school. I proposed to her and she accepted it.
Is about 3 months now, she came on my birthday 3 months ago. That was all. She doesn't come always because she stays with her elder brother and can't leave house just like that.

Note, we haven't had sex till now.

About 2 weeks ago, I told her about how I got a girl pregnant and we had to abort it and that since then I haven't been myself. That it pains me to this day. We talked about it and she was sorry over it.

Yesterday, we had a very deep discussion and she revealed to me that she had a relationship at school. They were together for 4yrs. I then asked her if she had ever missed her period. She said yes. But not to this school boyfriend but another man. She wanted to keep the pregnancy but her parents refused because the guy is not a good person. The guy wanted the pregnancy but her family didn't want the guy to marry her. She finally had a stillbirth at the 7th month.

I was stunned. I know she's not a virgin, she told me but I was confused. Sex had always been our problem and I never expected that she had experienced something like this. Now she asked me that she hope she won't regret telling me this. I told her no that she won't regret but I'm stunned.

Please should I still go on with this marriage?

Don't marry her until u guys have sex more than five times and still love each other like u do now. A woman can only know a man that truly loves her after sex. If after u have sex with her and still love her and want to marry her, then go ahead and marry her but don't marry her without having that sexual fantasy of her fulfilled to know if its infatuation or true likeness u have for her.

On a second note, if I were u and what she told u truly happened and she refused to have sex with u all these while but kept sleeping with other guys, I won't dare marry her cos it means she is not sexually attracted to u as u think and its a bad sign.

Girls like her make lot of mistake in life.... U refuse having sex with a guy that truly likes u and go outside to have sex with some slowpoke guys somewhere and still feel okay, Amadioha and Sango is watching you girls sha

Frankyboy1:
I pray you scroll down enough to read my message! Forget what kids are saying down there, I am a man who has been in the game long enough to advise you. DON'T MARRY HER! You have always loved her and she has been ur childhood crush and your kind of ideal woman all along, but she is not who you thought she was all this while! She is not and has never been in love with you neither is she naturally attracted to you! She likes you enough to MARRY you, cause as a woman you foot the bill and the time is right, but for her withstanding you sexually all these years,but was dishing it out to someone else and even insisted on keeping the child outside wedlock! Ogbeni that is the man she really loved! A woman that loves you and is sexually active,can't withstand ur advances for years even when she knows you were genuine about her! Find a girl who loves you for you, and has good moral standards,but her knees grow weak at ur touch or advances! If not you 're marrying a woman whom after a while ur sexual advances might even irritate her! Sexuality and raw chemistry is a big ingredient in marital relationship

100 likes

Most people who are commenting idiotic things are either very young, or have severe comprehension skills or just fighting for their fellow woman.

whitebeard:
Op u also aborted a pregnancy, abeg both of u are the same, I don't know if u should marry but the way u guys are revealing secrets to yourselves is also a good sign.

Make i add one thing, za girl is a hypocrite dat pretends to be born again saint

If Nerdg my bro, i will never agree for him to marry her

oops,I advice u don't dwell on her past and go ahead and marry her if u really love her,beside u made ur gf have an abortion for u which was ur choice while hers was a still birth and not her fault,if there is someone to be judged,its u not her.good luck anyways.

Nerdg:
Did you read the part I said all our break-ups were because she refused sex with me. Why do she do this? My problem is why we had issues because of sex and she's getting it somewhere else?

Exactly wat i was wondering myself. She ws with u all this time bt neva gave u but gave other guys up and down and now u wana marry her I will definitely ask her why she did dat. Maybe she didn't see ur worth then and now sees it or watever bt thats really smtn to worry about cos u need to know her reason for that. I also hope she not just settling for u cos she knows ure obsessed with her. Neva force marriage cos its a life time thing. I personally think u shud date her and see if she can actually be a gud gf who won't even cheat on u like b4 b4 u eventual marry dis lady u love or are obsessed with.

A thread filled with people with comprehension issues.

OP, the girl was never sexually attracted to you. Now that you have suggested marriage, I guess she thinks she can manage and rough it out. Be wise.

There's nothing to worry about OP


How many ladies can open up such a thing to a man? Please always try to embrace HONEST ladies

Nerdg:
She told me of being pregnant and later had a stillbirth at the 7months.

The background.
I met her when we were teens and have always loved her. She refused me sex and along the line, her neighbor gave me (who is her relation). She learnt about this and we had our first break up.
We both got admission into different universities and couldn't see again.
We later met again and settled with a condition that there would be no sex. This didn't go down well with me and I called it off. This repeated and there was even a time I walked her out of my house because of this issue and didn't give her tfare. My house is like 1hr drive from where she lives.
The issue:
I love this girl to the extent that anytime I thought of getting married, she will come to mind.
Now I have a good job and she's done with school. I proposed to her and she accepted it.
Is about 3 months now, she came on my birthday 3 months ago. That was all. She doesn't come always because she stays with her elder brother and can't leave house just like that.

Note, we haven't had sex till now.

About 2 weeks ago, I told her about how I got a girl pregnant and we had to abort it and that since then I haven't been myself. That it pains me to this day. We talked about it and she was sorry over it.

Yesterday, we had a very deep discussion and she revealed to me that she had a relationship at school. They were together for 4yrs. I then asked her if she had ever missed her period. She said yes. But not to this school boyfriend but another man. She wanted to keep the pregnancy but her parents refused because the guy is not a good person. The guy wanted the pregnancy but her family didn't want the guy to marry her. She finally had a stillbirth at the 7th month.

I was stunned. I know she's not a virgin, she told me but I was confused. Sex had always been our problem and I never expected that she had experienced something like this. Now she asked me that she hope she won't regret telling me this. I told her no that she won't regret but I'm stunned.

Please should I still go on with this marriage?

Mary to ur own peril

Fundamental issue here is TRUST, but it seems you trust her enough having proposed...

fatemmy:
You cheated on her with her neighbor(her family member) and she forgave you... you wickedly sent her out of your house without money because she refused to sleep with you and she forgave that one too, she didn't cheat on you,she had the strength to carry a baby unlike you that murdered a poor soul, you are a cheat, a wicked being and a murderer. Let he who is without sin ask such question

I dont know why the female folks here are defending the girl, well why am i suprised, birds of a feather flock together, many of them here are worst than the girl.

Pretending to be holy while banging all available tout everywhere, the guy cheated blc she didnt give in ,simple...

Nerdg:
.

I am sorry I might be prejudicial towards situations like this but any girl not a virgin and have slept with 2-3 different guys that find me unworthy of sex before marriage should ensure am not an option for marriage. No time to second guess who she truly love from those she slept with or not when am clearly at a disadvantage. It only mean those she trusted ended up knacking hell out of her apako just so she can settle for you the lesser befitting option.

Next secret will be how she is too open and watery down there. For her to deny you sex till now there's even more damaging secret. Watch out.

Nerdg:
She told me of being pregnant and later had a stillbirth at the 7months.

The background.
I met her when we were teens and have always loved her. She refused me sex and along the line, her neighbor gave me (who is her relation). She learnt about this and we had our first break up.
We both got admission into different universities and couldn't see again.
We later met again and settled with a condition that there would be no sex. This didn't go down well with me and I called it off. This repeated and there was even a time I walked her out of my house because of this issue and didn't give her tfare. My house is like 1hr drive from where she lives.
The issue:
I love this girl to the extent that anytime I thought of getting married, she will come to mind.
Now I have a good job and she's done with school. I proposed to her and she accepted it.
Is about 3 months now, she came on my birthday 3 months ago. That was all. She doesn't come always because she stays with her elder brother and can't leave house just like that.

Note, we haven't had sex till now.

About 2 weeks ago, I told her about how I got a girl pregnant and we had to abort it and that since then I haven't been myself. That it pains me to this day. We talked about it and she was sorry over it.

Yesterday, we had a very deep discussion and she revealed to me that she had a relationship at school. They were together for 4yrs. I then asked her if she had ever missed her period. She said yes. But not to this school boyfriend but another man. She wanted to keep the pregnancy but her parents refused because the guy is not a good person. The guy wanted the pregnancy but her family didn't want the guy to marry her. She finally had a stillbirth at the 7th month.

I was stunned. I know she's not a virgin, she told me but I was confused. Sex had always been our problem and I never expected that she had experienced something like this. Now she asked me that she hope she won't regret telling me this. I told her no that she won't regret but I'm stunned.

Please should I still go on with this marriage?

Your story does not add up... Read the 1st and 2nd paragraph...
Oyinbo

Nerdg:
I don't think she's trying to test me



My worry is why she had always refused me sex whereas she's this exposed. Could it be because of this she accepted my proposal?

No. I don't think its a test too. Probably not that attracted to u or just sees you as someone she respects and won't want sex to spoil things between you. I think you should marry her.

ritababe:
oh well from Adam she denied him of sex claiming Virgin Mary and now she just explode.
honestly if am in his shoe I wont take it lightly, we broke up many times because u don't want sex and me on the other hand think u are a Virgin that's why u don't want sex not knowing you've been doing it from my back, so why claim holy all this while?
now that she heard marriage she has started confessing.

Thank you for seeing the real issue here. If she has been having sex with her guy fine but u said no sex and went ahead to sleep with at least two other men is not acceptable. You have the answer already OP

Nerdg:
She told me of being pregnant and later had a stillbirth at the 7months.

The background.
I met her when we were teens and have always loved her. She refused me sex and along the line, her neighbor gave me (who is her relation). She learnt about this and we had our first break up.
We both got admission into different universities and couldn't see again.
We later met again and settled with a condition that there would be no sex. This didn't go down well with me and I called it off. This repeated and there was even a time I walked her out of my house because of this issue and didn't give her tfare. My house is like 1hr drive from where she lives.
The issue:
I love this girl to the extent that anytime I thought of getting married, she will come to mind.
Now I have a good job and she's done with school. I proposed to her and she accepted it.
Is about 3 months now, she came on my birthday 3 months ago. That was all. She doesn't come always because she stays with her elder brother and can't leave house just like that.

Note, we haven't had sex till now.

About 2 weeks ago, I told her about how I got a girl pregnant and we had to abort it and that since then I haven't been myself. That it pains me to this day. We talked about it and she was sorry over it.

Yesterday, we had a very deep discussion and she revealed to me that she had a relationship at school. They were together for 4yrs. I then asked her if she had ever missed her period. She said yes. But not to this school boyfriend but another man. She wanted to keep the pregnancy but her parents refused because the guy is not a good person. The guy wanted the pregnancy but her family didn't want the guy to marry her. She finally had a stillbirth at the 7th month.

I was stunned. I know she's not a virgin, she told me but I was confused. Sex had always been our problem and I never expected that she had experienced something like this. Now she asked me that she hope she won't regret telling me this. I told her no that she won't regret but I'm stunned.

Please should I still go on with this marriage?

.Young man these a very simple psychological play.Any lady that is in a relationship with a man and refuse him sex is 90 percent naturally due to the fact she sees husband quality in you.So be thankful ,ladies naturally don t give in easily to these set of men because they think beyond fun and think in the direction of matrimony.once more congratulation