₦airaland Forum

ImaIma1:
Ok Mikolo go and get married with 20k salary.
90s or 80s, we are in 2010s.
By the way, I am 80s...early 80s

Randy91:
of course there are still #VirginUkwus on NL
u want to knw...
CC:Rozaytee

Lalas247:
Pls keep

mikolo80:
Girl there is difference between needs and wants.
Everything you're buy-in are wants. Ppl survived in jungles before those things were made. Abi I lie. Maybe you're a 90's baby.
Na nappy dem use for us. Washable, reusable.
Most others are just effizy cos everyone is doing it.
Poor people survive without these things.
Just be grateful you can afford time savers.
But they are not compulsory


So how do cleaners and messengers and marketwomen have kids?



Rashes when you refuse to change your kid as at when due because looking posh is your priority not the child.

Agreed
But are you saying that poor ppl should not have children or that they are not surviving somehow
The desirable is not always attainable
Sometimes we just wing it and hope for divine providence.
See me now de find 200 k to marry and 40 don reach.
No need to marry again. Na to accept my cross. Not everyone can do that

Stellie:
hmm am soo glad for ur reasoning....d funny way dy attacked d op was surprising to me ..... I was even sympatisin wit low income earners and one madam said am lickin nl guy's ass for a trophy..lolxxxx...dy think al fingers r equal..
Abeg every malam wit e own kettle oo.... Since every guy is formin big man here...oya lefulefu, Randy19 and dat oga dat said he can only settle wit nrtin less dan 1million a month evfee or so... Oya am hungry and i nr know wat to chop dis nyt

lefulefu:
no worry ...me and Randy19 go contribute money take buy sharwama for u

Randy91:
can u make it to my hux tonight...

in mua father's hux,there r many mansions there!!!

Habeyy:
beep me lets begin from dia

crunchyg:
Thanks, how did your day go?

Stellie:
hahaha isit mansion i wee eat??

Stellie:
sincerly, i dont understnd ur comment dear. Cn u elaborate?

dayowunmi:
Hmm, nice comment, I will try to respond accordingly. what if the good job don't come? he doesn't have to wait for job, there are other means of making money aside waiting for a office job, I didn't apply for Npower cos I make about the amount npower pays from writing essays and articles on fiverr, there are legitimate hussles a man can engage in that can generate income. what if the wife falls sick? Even with a good income a person can still fall sick and their income may not be able to treat! what happens when the woman gets pregnant, the husband increases his hussle! Do u think a lady will marry a man with 20k income? Not every lady is a slay Queen, some of the big men around today married their wives when they were nothing and they stayed with them...the op cited bishop oyedepo and fela durotoye (i think) who are multimillionaires today but married when they were hardly thousandnaire! Yes there are women who don't rate love by the size of bank account. We all belong to different socio economic levels, you can't hold everyone to your standards! What you earn as income is somebody's chicken change, all fingers are not equal and will never be, its wrong for u to posit that people have to be of some particular status before marriage. So far as the man has a job with regular income of 20k and above and the wife also does something that brings income, I feel they are good to go. Not everyone eats Turkey everyday or lives in duplex! The irony is that people with still av sex whether job or no job!

Stellie:
perfectly fyn dear..

KennyID17:
We pay to see u these days abii?

AreaFada2:
Sure culture plays a big role. But culture is not static. It has been evolving steadily. Enlightenment should not be encountered first in hospital. It should begin with community field nurses & midwives, at school and well before childbearing age.

At the moment, the govt hardly justifies the right to tell people what to do with their own reproductive rights. It has no social welfare system to assist the poor, needy or large families.

For example, you are more likely to take the advice of your caring parents, uncle or aunt than those that care less or are aloof. Same with government. Only those who realise that such advice is in own interest irrespective of government attitude that will take it. And that would be better educated, enlightened and those who can weigh things properly.

People need to be empowered. For example targeting uneducated young mothers to take up adult education. In a functioning federal system local councils can be empowered to handle such adult and social education.

dangotesmummy:
like I said before THEY WILL NEVER LISTEN.THEIR HEARTS ARE HARDENED TO WHAT THEY BELIEVE IS RIGHT IN THEIR EYES


Field nurses or whatever don't make any difference and don't forget we're in Africa where the man is the alpha and omega of his home and whatever he says is final

If the man says I want 18 children even if the woman has gotten enlightened the husband no go gree

The African society is disoriented.it only focuses on. The woman and leaves the man as if it's the woman that impregnates herself

AreaFada2:
Ah! Lots of men now fear the responsibility of having too many kids o.
Many modern women are already "codedly" doing contraception. The injection/depot type & the man is none the wider. After 4 or 5 kids he cannot drive the wife away on ground of infertility.

Many kids come not really because they are desperately wanted but because nothing was done to prevent their conception.
Empowering women is always key.

Remember the percentage of educated men is still higher, so enlightening them is still a bit easier. Why can we not do that
Are you suggesting we should stand akimbo doing nothing about it?

AreaFada2:
Ah! Lots of men now fear the responsibility of having too many kids o.
Many modern women are already "codedly" doing contraception. The injection/depot type & the man is none the wider. After 4 or 5 kids he cannot drive the wife away on ground of infertility.

Many kids come not really because they are desperately wanted but because nothing was done to prevent their conception.
Empowering women is always key.

Remember the percentage of educated men is still higher, so enlightening them is still a bit easier. Why can we not do that
Are you suggesting we should stand akimbo doing nothing about it?

Rozaytee:
cannabis @ work

Bagehot:
Like I said earlier, too many of our people enjoy suffering. I'm fairly certain Fela Durotoye didn't get married on a monthly income of 20k. It is immoral for someone who can barely feed himself to get married. This is not a question of living in a duplex or eating turkey everyday. Even the bible says it that a man that cannot provide for his family is worst than an infidel. If you can barely feed yourself, heavens cannot punish you enough for bringing another life into this world - to beg for food? Hawk on dangerous high-ways? steal scraps of food at the risk of getting lynched?

Let me tell you something interesting: do you know the first 8 years of a child's life are the most critical? If a child is under-nourished early in life, his cognitive abilities would forever be diminished - long and short, e go hard for am to know book.


If you cannot bring a child into this world with a plan and resources for him;her to at least do slightly better than you, you are beyond useless. Too many men in Nigeria are becoming lazy and living their lives without foresight. Its a shame.

Bagehot:
When I was about to get married, the first thing my pastor asked was if I had a place of my own, and I had a stable reasonable income. The next thing was an assignment for my wife and I to write a detailed life-plan of where we see ourselves at every stage of our life, our aspirations, and a plan on how to get there.

If you have ever heard stories of how Mr X, a wretched fellow was class-mates with, or grew up with Mr Y, an uber-successful person, and you wondered why their paths diverged in life, its from their individual choices. I know people that got girls pregnant during NYSC, and got stagnated badly in life - one married a deeper-life type girl - today they are divorced: she started screwing for money, got tired of the marriage, and absconded with the kids. A couple of guys I know got married immediately they got jobs cos they were now 'adults' - a few years later, they are stuck cos they didnt get professional certifications, and certainly cant afford them right now - family obligations and all.

I refused to marry until I had attained a bit of professional standing, and married 7 years after a lot of my peers. My son came a month ago, and a lot of crazy un-budgeted expenses came up due to medicals. To the glory of God, I have been able to meet them. I'm cuddling him now while my wife sleeps, and I'm filled with pride that I can provide at least the basics of life, and set my son up for a bright future (amen). Every bank executive I knew married fairly late, and today, they can provide incredible opportunities for their kids, that most of us can only dream of.

God created everyone for a purpose; this life of misery and lack is not for anyone, but too few jump into life with a plan, and instead follow a template that a mediocre society has set for them, and end up miserable. If you think life is about going to school, coming out to get any random job, and getting married as soon as possible cos you want to do everything early without having a plan for the rest of your life, you would come short of your true potential. As your kids grow, what would you even teach them? How to endure suffering? Or how to achieve their true potential? Would you be the one to break the cycle of want in your bloodline? Or the one to perpetuate it? Would you let yourself be an object of ridicule for a starving wife? Or would you be the object of her admiration? Be wise.

Lalas247:
Wetin u wan take am do o

Bagehot:
When I was about to get married, the first thing my pastor asked was if I had a place of my own, and I had a stable reasonable income. The next thing was an assignment for my wife and I to write a detailed life-plan of where we see ourselves at every stage of our life, our aspirations, and a plan on how to get there.

If you have ever heard stories of how Mr X, a wretched fellow was class-mates with, or grew up with Mr Y, an uber-successful person, and you wondered why their paths diverged in life, its from their individual choices. I know people that got girls pregnant during NYSC, and got stagnated badly in life - one married a deeper-life type girl - today they are divorced: she started screwing for money, got tired of the marriage, and absconded with the kids. A couple of guys I know got married immediately they got jobs cos they were now 'adults' - a few years later, they are stuck cos they didnt get professional certifications, and certainly cant afford them right now - family obligations and all.

I refused to marry until I had attained a bit of professional standing, and married 7 years after a lot of my peers. My son came a month ago, and a lot of crazy un-budgeted expenses came up due to medicals. To the glory of God, I have been able to meet them. I'm cuddling him now while my wife sleeps, and I'm filled with pride that I can provide at least the basics of life, and set my son up for a bright future (amen). Every bank executive I knew married fairly late, and today, they can provide incredible opportunities for their kids, that most of us can only dream of.

God created everyone for a purpose; this life of misery and lack is not for anyone, but too few jump into life with a plan, and instead follow a template that a mediocre society has set for them, and end up miserable. If you think life is about going to school, coming out to get any random job, and getting married as soon as possible cos you want to do everything early without having a plan for the rest of your life, you would come short of your true potential. As your kids grow, what would you even teach them? How to endure suffering? Or how to achieve their true potential? Would you be the one to break the cycle of want in your bloodline? Or the one to perpetuate it? Would you let yourself be an object of ridicule for a starving wife? Or would you be the object of her admiration? Be wise.