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My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years - Family (9) - Nairaland

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Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by chris51(f): 11:20am On Sep 02, 2017
siakhris:
See as ur mama dey control u Anaele. Shame on u.
She has moved on anyways. Leave d poor girl alone.


Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by gratefulheart(m): 11:22am On Sep 02, 2017
She know what you don't know.
Try and discuss with your dad for way out.

Passy089:



I've really prayed about it. but nothing seems to have changed
Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Topshow2010(m): 11:27am On Sep 02, 2017
Candidly ur story get k-leg as we dey talk am in our local parlance ;how is possible to av dated a girl for good 9 years yet ur parents or family members were nt aware or acquainted wit such girl.Anyway let me comical here,ur mum could av rejected ur fiancee at first meeting cuz ur fiancee might be ur mum senior in their witchcraft coven hence she won't want her child to be entrap. undecided

1 Like

Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by mofeoluwadassah: 11:30am On Sep 02, 2017
chuckjoshua:


The truth had been spoken. How can you date someone for 9 years and she never visited your parent's house? Are you for real, Op?
abeg help me ask him o

1 Like

Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by ibkguy(m): 11:32am On Sep 02, 2017
pray about it bro. And better still seek some one she listens too so that they can help u talk to her. she must have a reason. And who knows might be for ur own interest
Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Funkybabee(f): 11:32am On Sep 02, 2017
Wonder why some girls are so dull all to the existence to date a man for 9 years and don't even know his parents especially mother because they are the only problem woman have in marriage

This is really stupid......

My advice for you is that think and pray very well, because if you don't hear your mother word and it backfire you later in future she will be head responsible and I don't wish her to face trouble after all her 9 years suffer !!!! Marriage a school you will never graduate

Do as one guy said before give yourself a space I mean you should tell her to give a space so that you will know reason why ur mum don't support it


Yoruba's say 'iriri lagba' maybe she saw something you couldn't see

Just keep praying....

1 Like

Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Funkybabee(f): 11:33am On Sep 02, 2017
Passy089:



I've really prayed about it. but nothing seems to have changed

Why would you dated her for 9 years before not letting your mother to know that is unfair oooo

1 Like

Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by itoese(m): 11:35am On Sep 02, 2017
Since the lady will not stay with your mum, go ahead with the marriage. You know women being who they are will always display funny characters.
Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Geezholla: 11:37am On Sep 02, 2017
I understand your situation bro. I want you to understand this, marriage is an institution of peace and harmony. Your ability to arrest this situation will determine the husband u will grow to become.

This is my device for you. Pursue peace with your last bread, you are not going to leave the girl neither are u going to offend your mother. This is what u have to do. You must not be in rush for this marriage, and for long u will wait for your mothers consent try to be very diplomatic in relating with her. Don't shout at her when ever you demand reason of her disapproving the girl. Patience will be your ultimate. With time and a positive and calmly consultation she will open up to you. Don't ever make her see you as an obstinate son who goes out of his mothers ways and advice. So long you remain very sincere to her she will definitely be overpowered by the mother and son emotions. Remember she also wants your happiness and you must make her understand that you know that and willing to continue to be her pride. Finally, make her see serious reasons why you think the girl is best for you. Don't forget, patience is your ultimate.

Best luck

1 Like

Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Stevengerd(m): 11:38am On Sep 02, 2017
Excellent89:

let her say what she saw......
Abi nw
Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by mofeoluwadassah: 11:42am On Sep 02, 2017
vivie01:


My thought too. @op, you dated a girl since year 1 in higher institution and did not have gut to take her home for ONCE in 9years? You are a player and you did not try at all. You did not love or have any plan of marrying her, simply put.
If you had taken her home during one of the holidays you would have known ur mother's mind towards her and not waste her time.
There is danger ahead for both you and the lady if you ignored your mother moreso that she has refused to bulge.
Where is the place of prayer in all this your confusion? I leave you to it.
you just nail it

1 Like

Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Omuneizzy6(m): 11:49am On Sep 02, 2017
Your parents sees far more than you do. They give birth to you, they knows the type of girl who can be your wife They have their pretty reasonx not matter how pretty or good the girl is, Just stick to their instruction and look for another damsel.... Girls many.
Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by jonadaft: 11:52am On Sep 02, 2017
Lewaluv:
Ignore your mother.
Your sons....

Karma cool
Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Lewaluv(f): 11:53am On Sep 02, 2017
Pussy
Jonathan:

Your sons....

Karma cool
Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Nobody: 11:53am On Sep 02, 2017
Thoughts and prayers are with you guys 9 years is a long time and your reluctance to introduce her to your family speaks volumes perhaps you have always feared your mum didn't like her.

This is a delicate issue as a woman I can follow my heart and persuade my mum in other ways even arrange quality time for them to spend together but at the end of the day maybe you can too with your mum. Unless maybe your one of those men who reports the fiances actions to your mum but conveniently you left out the part of your actions you may have unknowingly tainted your mothers view. Always speak both sides of the story and for the men endeavor to introduce your future spouses earlier like after the 3rd year

If you love someone dearly you would not be ashamed to show them off As the one you love to your parents and family

Hope you can salvage the relationship someone I know did the same after proposing dude just met another babe and married the other one after 10 years so your not the first you won't be the last just don't tie anyone down you don't intend to go the whole yards for.
Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by jonadaft: 11:56am On Sep 02, 2017
Lewaluv:
Pussy
Your pússy

I'll cum inside bïtch cheesy
Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Nobody: 11:57am On Sep 02, 2017
Passy089:
I've dated my fiancee from my year 1 in the university that's 9years now, she stood with me through thick and thin, never left me for ready made guys, she trusted and supported me and I promised myself no woman will make me happier than her so I proposed to marry her....

So I took her to see my parents for the first time, but I got the shock of my life when my mum rejected her at 1st sight for no particular reason her word was "my spirit just don't accept her" my dad was cool about my choice as long as I'm happy, I've been begging my mother to reconsider but she has made it clear she won't have anything to do with her or me if I go ahead and marry her.

I'm just confused,the last person I'll leave is my fiancee but my mum too is very special to me.
what should I do??


MOD please help forward this to FP
OP, you only dated her for nine years WITHOUT courting her. If you had been in courtship with her, you would have either familiarise her with your family or her insisting that she gets well-known to your family before any marriage proposal. I wonder if you have even met with her own people......Sorry is your case.
Cheers !

1 Like

Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by oodua1stson: 11:58am On Sep 02, 2017
Passy089:
I've dated my fiancee from my year 1 in the university that's 9years now, she stood with me through thick and thin, never left me for ready made guys, she trusted and supported me and I promised myself no woman will make me happier than her so I proposed to marry her....

So I took her to see my parents for the first time, but I got the shock of my life when my mum rejected her at 1st sight for no particular reason her word was "my spirit just don't accept her" my dad was cool about my choice as long as I'm happy, I've been begging my mother to reconsider but she has made it clear she won't have anything to do with her or me if I go ahead and marry her.

I'm just confused,the last person I'll leave is my fiancee but my mum too is very special to me.
what should I do??


MOD please help forward this to FP
if I were you I would damn the consequence and marry her



That is if you're very sure She's right for you
Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by ferhyntorlah(f): 12:01pm On Sep 02, 2017
mofeoluwadassah:
you dated her for nine years and you have not for one day taken her to your house? then it means you dont love her

I thought so too, but not the you don't love her part.
Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by attention007(m): 12:02pm On Sep 02, 2017
mofeoluwadassah:
you dated her for nine years and you have not for one day taken her to your house? then it means you dont love her

asin e shock me wen I read am too o

1 Like

Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Wisebisho: 12:11pm On Sep 02, 2017
Main reason I dislike all this serious dating stuffs, confirm nine years wey you don tie her, push other eligible suitors away, chop her kpomo, chop kpomo.. Now you are saying your mama say this, say that...
All this nine years: haven't your mama seen you with her? Why didn't she reject her then? Why after 9yrs.
Guy, if that girl draw sword for you eeh: you no fit dogg am.. Please talk to your family and let them accept the girl... Don't make a mistake that will come back to haunt you.

1 Like

Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by ferhyntorlah(f): 12:18pm On Sep 02, 2017
Olanrefront3355:


Op If you actually follow this, Ure dull, sorry.

So dude told u ur gals has been thr for 9yrs, so u offend ur mum cos of her, what abt ur mum that has been thr for 20+ yrs? Ao old d fvck are u sef?

I'm not against marrying her, Buh be sure ur parent approves... Keep begging ur Mum.

And if I were you, I'd wear dis Sad look all around d house like I'm dying, no 'Good' mother will ignore that.


Thank you.

Passy089, let me add to what he has typed.

I heard a story of a lady that wanted to married an OSU man. We all know the stigma those tagged OSU face. Her father flatly disapproved of the man.

After begging the man several times and he maintained his stand, the lady had a heart to heart talk with her father and said she wouldn't want to disobey and dishonour him as stated in the Bible by going ahead to marry her choice. She said she wouldn't marry the guy neither would she accept marriage proposal from any would be suitor.

The man too didn't consider any woman. They both prayed for God to change the father's stand.

When the father saw that she wasn't kidding, he called both of them and gave them the go ahead to marry.

So Passy089, maybe you and your fiancé should tow that line. Have an intimate talk with mummy, tell her if she doesn't allow you marry her, you won't MARRY ANY OTHER WOMAN and make sure you stick to it.

When mummy sees you are dead serious, she will be the one to beg you to go ahead and marry your choice. At least you have someone and she's doing shakara, by the time she sees no one, she will beg you to marry the one you want.

Something similar happened to someone I know, the mom kept rejecting his choice till the guy lost interest in getting married. When this happened, mummy beg him to marry any woman he likes.

If you truly love this lady and want to be with her, you have to fight for her, with serious prayers too.

Sometimes, we need to be STRONG, FOCUSED AND DETERMINED to get what we want.
Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Holyrule(m): 12:21pm On Sep 02, 2017
madgoat:


Mummy's boy..... And that is how ur mum will continue making decisions for you till you are 70yrs.
O boy you better put your foot down and be a man or is it your Mummy u want to marry? If ur mum cannot give u any cogent reason(s), u better marry her. All this rubbish about her spirit does not flow with the girl is nonsense.
lol grin

1 Like

Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Olami90: 12:26pm On Sep 02, 2017
Passy089:



I've already done that... I'm so very angry,i can't bear the thought of betraying my fiancee.my conscience will kill me.


Smiles. Don't be angry.
Stamp your feet to the ground. Do everything possible to assure your fiancee you are for her. Do not leave that precious lady.

Your mum will eventually come down no matter what.just for her to know u mean business

1 Like

Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by khiaa(f): 12:27pm On Sep 02, 2017
Passy089:



I just don't want to disappoint or make anyone sad.

Don't worry yourself about disappointing someone or making someone sad, concentrate on making yourself happy with the woman that you love, that should be your number one priority concerning this matter, not mommy or daddy.
Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Lexzyhands(m): 12:27pm On Sep 02, 2017
[quote author=OkunrinMeta post=60048013]Which kind of woman is your mum. Is she intuitive or is she the type that likes drama. You may have known your babe for 9 years buts you've known your mum for thrice as long.

So this is not a decision about your fiance persey. Its about whether you trust your mum's instincts or judgement. For example, if i want to marry someone and my mum says no, i will just find a way to manage the drama and still go ahead. However, if my dad says no, i will have reevaluate and made reconsider my decision.

Just think deep, you know the answer you are looking for.

I could read BTW the lines; there lies the answer for the OP provided he's smart enough.
Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Chatflick(m): 12:28pm On Sep 02, 2017
Passy089:
I've dated my fiancee from my year 1 in the university that's 9years now, she stood with me through thick and thin, never left me for ready made guys, she trusted and supported me and I promised myself no woman will make me happier than her so I proposed to marry her....

So I took her to see my parents for the first time, but I got the shock of my life when my mum rejected her at 1st sight for no particular reason her word was "my spirit just don't accept her" my dad was cool about my choice as long as I'm happy, I've been begging my mother to reconsider but she has made it clear she won't have anything to do with her or me if I go ahead and marry her.

I'm just confused,the last person I'll leave is my fiancee but my mum too is very special to me.
what should I do??


MOD please help forward this to FP
Your mum has lived her life better live yours. As long as you are happy with your woman biko go ahead and get married. Allowing your mum decide for you will simply be the beginning of your problem cause when you finally settle down, she be the dictator in your home. Yes she's your mum but also you ain't a kid no more. Man up and stop being mummy's boy.

1 Like

Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Sytasteme(m): 12:34pm On Sep 02, 2017
Maybe your mother wants to marry you then, guy stand as man and let your mother know that u re no longer a child that u know what is good for you
Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Sytasteme(m): 12:36pm On Sep 02, 2017
Maybe your mother wants to marry you then, guy stand as man and let your mother know that u re no longer a child that u know what is good for you Hi

1 Like

Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by OldBeer: 12:36pm On Sep 02, 2017
frankgreat:
I tell people something... Your mother is more important than your wife.. No matter what you do to your mother she will never leave you, but your wife have an option of divorce she can leave anytime.. Do they listen to them.. Talk to your mom and if she still insist then find another person... Your mom is your family your wife is external family believe me on dis..
If they call men to come out, this one too will stand up.
Coman go and suck ur mum breast.

2 Likes

Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by khiaa(f): 12:39pm On Sep 02, 2017
ferhyntorlah:


Passy089, let me add to what he has typed.

I heard a story of a lady that wanted to married an OSU man. We all know the stigma those tagged OSU face. Her father flatly disapproved of the man.

After begging the man several times and he maintained his stand, the lady had a heart to heart talk with her father and said she wouldn't want to disobey and dishonour him as stated in the Bible by going ahead to marry her choice. She said she wouldn't marry the guy neither would she accept marriage proposal from any would be suitor.

The man too didn't consider any woman. They both prayed for God to change the father's stand.

When the father saw that she wasn't kidding, he called both of them and gave them the go ahead to marry.

So Passy089, maybe you and your fiancé should tow that line. Have an intimate talk with mummy, tell her if she doesn't allow you marry her, you won't MARRY ANY OTHER WOMAN and make sure you stick to it.

When mummy sees you are dead serious, she will be the one to beg you to go ahead and marry your choice. At least you have someone and she's doing shakara, by the time she sees no one, she will beg you to marry the one you want.

Something similar happened to someone I know, the mom kept rejecting his choice till the guy lost interest in getting married. When this happened, mummy beg him to marry any woman he likes.

If you truly love this lady and want to be with her, you have to fight for her, with serious prayers too.

Sometimes, we need to be STRONG, FOCUSED AND DETERMINED to get what we want.


Hmmmm! I didn't know that grown Nigerian men needed permission to marry the woman that he loves. This is a bad look for you guys it makes you look immature, a grown man is supposed to know what he wants and go after her without permission from mommy and daddy. I couldn't marry such a man.

1 Like

Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Omogbhollahorn(m): 12:41pm On Sep 02, 2017
Marriage are for grown up not kids which also means that a man decides who he marries not his parent, the bible say he would finds a wife find a good thing and obtain blessing from the lord(not blessings from the parents).... you have to be old enough to take a stand in your own life, you parents have lives their own life. Let everyone let you be.

I rest my case.

1 Like

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