₦airaland Forum

Minemrys:
okay na, sister Debo. But friendship shouldn't be defined by sex, age or whatever. Having a male bestie may n0t be dat bad. Its the society that makes it l0ok bad. Sister Debo, diz one u say u are n0t a nigerian like dis bah, ur pidgin set oh. U sure say u no be 9jarian in one syd? Tor dis 1 wey u d0n agree xay pers0n fit knw u, how may i kn0w u then, sister Debo?

LOL society? What of the person's personality? I know it shouldn't be defined by sex but when the friendship isn't defined well, there will be issues.
My pidgin set oo.
But you dare not listen to me speak it, my accent spoils everything. I grew up in Nigeria that's why tho.
How you wan know me? You fit know me here na, but I never finish with my x-ray.

makydebbie:
LOL society? What of the person's personality? I know it shouldn't be defined by sex but when the friendship isn't defined well, there will be issues.
My pidgin set oo.
But you dare not listen to me speak it, my accent spoils everything. I grew up in Nigeria that's why tho.
How you wan know me? You fit know me here na, but I never finish with my x-ray.

wow, u are about Nigerian as it gets then. Haven't had the privilege of sitting close to a ghanaian b4 though. Its 9ice to meet u. Sorry ur pidgin accent's bad though. Well, talking abt society, it also includes every0ne's behavioural pers0nality. Society has made it l0ok like a girl and guy friendship's bad and dats why u have every0ne with differing percepti0ns.
Aunty Debo, this one u dy talk of x ray like dis. Am i safe? Wetin u want carry x ray do na? Tor, pesn fit kn0w pesn for facebook na. I fit kn0w u for facebook so?

Minemrys:
wow, u are about Nigerian as it gets then. Haven't had the privilege of sitting close to a ghanaian b4 though. Its 9ice to meet u. Sorry ur pidgin accent's bad though. Well, talking abt society, it also includes every0ne's behavioural pers0nality. Society has made it l0ok like a girl and guy friendship's bad and dats why u have every0ne with differing percepti0ns.
Aunty Debo, this one u dy talk of x ray like dis. Am i safe? Wetin u want carry x ray do na? Tor, pesn fit kn0w pesn for facebook na. I fit kn0w u for facebook so?

LOL, really? It's nothing jare. Can remember when I was speaking pidgin, my Nigerian friend told me it sucks because of my accent.
Lol, me I'm not saying it's bad tho, just saying it doesn't work out most times.
Lol, bro I no dey fb or other social networks oo. I'm weird like that.

makydebbie:
LOL, really? It's nothing jare. Can remember when I was speaking pidgin, my Nigerian friend told me it sucks because of my accent.
Lol, me I'm not saying it's bad tho, just saying it doesn't work out most times.
Lol, bro I no dey fb or other social networks oo. I'm weird like that.

ehen...na so u dy do ba? Tor no wahala. Share with me ur fb username when u are free to. Or add me with mine @ Min Eddie. I dy oshodi juncti0n dy wait for inside danfo for u oh.

Minemrys:
ehen...na so u dy do ba? Tor no wahala. Share with me ur fb username when u are free to. Or add me with mine @ Min Eddie. I dy oshodi juncti0n dy wait for inside danfo for u oh.

Oshodi no too far from where I dey sef.
Bro I'm serious oo, I no dey do fb.

makydebbie:
Oshodi no too far from where I dey sef.
Bro I'm serious oo, I no dey do fb.

wow, so oshodi no too far fr0m where u dy ba? Wait, i dy c0me make i find one okada c0me ur syd. So u no dy faceb0ok? U get beef with mark zuckerberg ni?

Minemrys:
wow, so oshodi no too far fr0m where u dy ba? Wait, i dy c0me make i find one okada c0me ur syd. So u no dy faceb0ok? U get beef with mark zuckerberg ni?

LOL, you go lost.
I don tell Mark since make e adopt me e no gree na so I vex.

makydebbie:
LOL, you go lost.
I don tell Mark since make e adopt me e no gree na so I vex.

haba, i no fit lost oh. Na okada wey i no fit see nai halt my m0vement.
So na wetin cause ur beef with mark be dat? No mind d guy jare, him too dy form. U for meet Bill Gates na, so mark go jealous ur fortune...

Minemrys:
haba, i no fit lost oh. Na okada wey i no fit see nai halt my m0vement.
So na wetin cause ur beef with mark be dat? No mind d guy jare, him too dy form. U for meet Bill Gates na, so mark go jealous ur fortune...

LOL, I'll probably do that.

makydebbie:
LOL, I'll probably do that.

i hope so @sister Debo.

makydebbie:
Friendship with the opposite sex most times don't end well. Most times, I find ladies saying; their fellow girls do backstab, lie, take their boyfriends, gossip etc. See as a lady, I will say this. If you cannot have a single female friend whom you trust, then the problem is from YOU and YOU alone. If you're always complaining that your friends do take your boyfriends, then stop being friends with olosho and boyfriend's snatchers. By the way, do not forget you're what you attract.



Yes we know we ladies have issues, we fight, and gossip. (But wait tell me who doesn't gossip? Have you seen when guys are gossiping? If they table your matter among their friends for you ehn, you'll change that twisted mentality).

You that do not have issues because you're miss perfect. And you're tired of girls that you don't want female friends or bestie. You know, at the end most times, these guys just want to fvck you right?


My dear, this is how it start. It starts from friendship. Mind you, I'm not saying that it is wrong to have male friends, of course we learn things from each other. But it also has to be defined and you must set the records straight, tell him the boundaries. My dear ladies be straight forward! If you're single let him know, if you're not ready for a relationship, let him know! Don't lead him on that's wicked!! And then if the guy is persistent, he will be your bestie and that's how it starts.


When you ask your boyfriend for money and advice and he's not ready to give you, sheybi it's bestie you'll tell abi? That one will now give you money and advice because he's BESTIE FATHER CHRISTMAS shey?
You've started building your foundation for a future romance with bestie.


Then you'll have issues, boyfriend is annoying you. After you've friendzoned bestie against his wish, it's bestie you'll run to who will capitalize on your boyfriend's flaws and get you nak.ed on his bed.



You say guys don't have issues because they take your excesses. Hope you know it's for a prize and it's all for the greater good? Sometimes, you'll see them as nice because they comfort you, they make you laugh, not a dull moment shey? And you'll equally be nice and these besties will misinterpret your nice gestures and see them as "green light".


From bestie to confidant, to friends with benefits and you'll be wondering how you guys got there, you'll even say the guy took advantage of you. Some cases even leads to rape. If you're kuku a fool you'll say it's chemistry.

But then, ladies let's not castigate all the guys. There are genuine mature guys, who'll just like you as a friend and would want the best for you and they are 10% out of 100%. (Mind you, I'm being generous with my figures.)

Also, ladies let's not forget guys are logical and ladies emotional. Maybe the guy just likes you and your company and its possible you'll see it as "green light" because of the love, care, affection, and attention he gives you. We ladies can't deny we love attention from the opposite sex. And then, you start catching feelings, you'll get confused because you're now in love with someone who doesn't feel the same way. And if this guy is a fvckboy, he'll use it against you, your case is finished. But if he doesn't, your friendship will become awkward and permit me to say RIP to that friendship.


If you're a guy and your girlfriend has alot of male friends then I'm almost sorry for you, but then, if your girlfriend has alot of male friends and will be telling them everything that goes on in your relationship, then I'm definitely sorry for you.



"And those of you that shares your relationship problems with male friends and besties. And that one will be comforting you, the day you will realize he's not the Holy Spirit the comforter, I hope it won't be the day you'll find yourself na.ked on his bed"~ MzLarem.



Original writer- Makydebbie

Best write up I've read on romance section. Spot on. This surely deserves front page. OP please do the needful.

2cantalk:
Best write up I've read on romance section. Spot on. This surely deserves front page. OP please do the needful.

Thanks dear, it already made fp.

makydebbie:
I'm sorry bro.
How can I help you?

I still love her and I feel down whenever I see her with the guy and it's really affecting my work we stay opposite blocks to each other just all of a sudden she seem not to notice me again nor gimme attention even up till date I still ask my what I did wrong all my friends and her friends have spoken to her to enquire what happened but she has ntn tangible to point out. It still hurts me deep down and the guy is my close pal he do boast about his main babe who stays another state as his number one and nobody can take her away from him nor replace her. I don't know am just really daunted

zeus2412:
I still love her and I feel down whenever I see her with the guy and it's really affecting my work we stay opposite blocks to each other just all of a sudden she seem not to notice me again nor gimme attention even up till date I still ask my what I did wrong all my friends and her friends have spoken to her to enquire what happened but she has ntn tangible to point out. It still hurts me deep down and the guy is my close pal he do boast about his main babe who stays another state as his number one and nobody can take her away from him nor replace her. I don't know am just really daunted

Bro she has moved on what's stopping you? If she loves you, she won't make you feel daunted. It do happen that we love people who won't reciprocate or people who don't deserve our love and the only thing we can do is to move on.

makydebbie:
Bro she has moved on what's stopping you? If she loves you, she won't make you feel daunted. It do happen that we love people who won't reciprocate or people who don't deserve our love and the only thing we can do is to move on.

eyaah. This will really hurt the bro.

Minemrys:
eyaah. This will really hurt the bro.

I know, but it's not fair on him to keep punishing himself for a girl who doesn't deserve him.

makydebbie:
I know, but it's not fair on him to keep punishing himself for a girl who doesn't deserve him.

fair enough. But it hurts to think after everything, you aren't wanted.

Minemrys:
fair enough. But it hurts to think after everything, you aren't wanted.

Yea it sure hurts, but life goes on.

makydebbie:
Yea it sure hurts, but life goes on.

you are strict with the truth. Hope you aint harsh in real life...

Minemrys:
you are strict with the truth. Hope you aint harsh in real life...

I'm a very shy girl in real life.

makydebbie:
I'm a very shy girl in real life.

wow! Unbelievable. I believe we'll match well then...:-)

Minemrys:
wow! Unbelievable. I believe we'll match well then...:-)

What makes you think so?

makydebbie:
What makes you think so?

would u doubt it?

Minemrys:
would u doubt it?

Your perception differs from mine. Of course it's normal to doubt.

makydebbie:
Your perception differs from mine. Of course it's normal to doubt.

exactly. Thats why i say we'd match. You don't have to doubt it...trust me, i kn0w these things.

Minemrys:
exactly. Thats why i say we'd match. You don't have to doubt it...trust me, i kn0w these things.

Okay then, I've heard you.

makydebbie:
Bro she has moved on what's stopping you? If she loves you, she won't make you feel daunted. It do happen that we love people who won't reciprocate or people who don't deserve our love and the only thing we can do is to move on.

have started moving on but seeing both makes me feel somehow not cool

zeus2412:
have started moving on but seeing both makes me feel somehow not cool

Sorry bro, you've to get used to it. Life is hard.

makydebbie:
Sorry bro, you've to get used to it. Life is hard.

thanks

zeus2412:
thanks

Uwc bro, it's well.

LordKO:
Why treat a matter on the surface instead of treating its root cause. Many people don't understand what friendship is all about. Informed people never termed everyone that crosses their paths as friends and as such don't give them the privileges that are meant for that special one person that deserved the friend tag. Closeness for instance neither equate to loyalty nor friendship. . . . And I don't see friendship where there's no mutual loyalty.

Friendship is never a lesser form of love (erotic or mother love), its only different from love because it has no observable biological necessities. So, I don't see reason why someone of adult age that value his/her peace, privacy, time and happiness would have more than one person - either a boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife - as a friend at any given time.

Friendship is different from friendliness and closeness. Being friendly and close with many people and meting our fairness to them, irrespective of gender, isn't a bad thing. But to be friends with more than one person - especially someone you have no romantic connection with while still in a romantic relationship with another person is insanity - at a time is a mark of unprincipledness.

Meanwhile, a friend is one whom at minimum shares same ethical philosophies, belief system, personality type and economic ideology like you.

People have been keeping frenemies as friends since time immemorial.

Thank you for the bolded,

How can you have an opposite sex bestie when you are in a relationship/married.

I still dont get it, is it that the person you are in a relationship with will not know about your bestie?

Just imagine telling your partner that you are having lunch with your bestie, or you partner sees you having lunch.

Let us tell ourselves the truth, it is a different ball game if both besties are single.

I got hooked reading this.

Setting boundaries is everything.