₦airaland Forum

Your wedding �, your cross.
My wedding �, my day!!!!!

Rorachy:
As in eh, I can't even imagine a life with someone on 35k salary, he wants to subject the poor girl to a life of penury.

Lol. He is not subjecting her to anything o. From op's description of picking out the least expensive things, you should have an idea on the girl's taste. Match made in heaven.

Vivly:
Lol. He is not subjecting her to anything o. From op's description of picking out the least expensive things, you should have an idea on the girl's taste. Match made in heaven.

HHhahahhaha.

To say I am not proud of you will be a big lie because of course, I am proud of you. Even with your meagre salary, you have achieved what most of us have not achieved even with much more higher pay. Imagine, you already have an MSc, and you are almost set to get PhD and to marry. Kudos.

Vivly:
Lol. He is not subjecting her to anything o. From op's description of picking out the least expensive things, you should have an idea on the girl's taste. Match made in heaven.

I understand the sarcasm here. But It's not abt taste madam. It's about going with what her man can afford. It's abt being understanding and patient. And btw, u are right. Its a match made in heaven

donpata:
I was moved to write this epistle cos of the fp topic of marrying someone who earns 35k yesterday. I have seen such questions on NL but I normally ignore them. Someone even asked if a lady can marry someone who earns 100k . I normally laugh at the comments and move on. I laughed at the sheer ignorance of many commenters, and the foolish statements many made. I decided to assume that 70% of the people who commented are either undergraduates still studying who have a big Disney picture of the sweet employment awaiting them or some who have not really known what is out there in the world. The remaining 20% earn well probably and so feel life should be like that for everyone. The remaining 10% commenters are those who really see life as it is in reality – DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS. Now am gonna be objective and subjective at the same time. And let me warn you – IT’S LONG

Haha, I laugh at you!

Because you have a support system that can shoulder your bills is the reason why hunger has not finished you with your measly N35k monthly salary. Or perhaps you have another source of income that you conveniently didn't mention.

N35K and you're still waiting to get older before you start earning more?? I laugh at you.

Nairaland boys and girls, please disregard this thread because the contents can be classified as "Anti-advice"

I earn N125K per month and the money isn't even enough for me alone. Consider the fact that I also take care of my siblings from my meager earnings and you get the picture why someone like me can't even think of marriage with such a salary.

I am working extremely hard to ensure that I transition to a position where I can earn N250K - N300K per month. It is very possible in my field. Only then will I think of marriage.

I live in Lagos -- please, come and live in Lagos with N35K salary and see if hunger will not damage your destiny. By the time you even remove transport fare from your pay, you should have like N28K left. Then remove feeding, remove rent, internet, telephone, social life, tithes, money to parents and siblings you will be left with -N50K per month. You will have a deficit.

To me, it is quite important that every young person from the ages of 23 upwards be able to earn more than N100K per month regardless of your location.

Your thread doesn't quite make sense to me.

Raiyell:
Haha, I laugh at you!

Because you have a support system that can shoulder your bills is the reason why hunger has not finished you with your measly N35k monthly salary. Or perhaps you have another source of income that you conveniently didn't mention.

N35K and you're still waiting to get older before you start earning more?? I laugh at you.

Nairaland boys and girls, please disregard this thread because the contents can be classified as "Anti-advice"

I earn N125K per month and the money isn't even enough for me alone. Consider the fact that I also take care of my siblings from my meager earnings and you get the picture why someone like me can't even think of marriage with such a salary.

I am working extremely hard to ensure that I transition to a position where I can earn N250K - N300K per month. It is very possible in my field. Only then will I think of marriage.

I live in Lagos -- please, come and live in Lagos with N35K salary and see if hunger will not damage your destiny. By the time you even remove transport fare from your pay, you should have like N28K left. Then remove feeding, remove rent, internet, telephone, social life, tithes, money to parents and siblings you will be left with -N50K per month. You will have a deficit.

To me, it is quite important that every young person from the ages of 23 upwards be able to earn more than N100K per month regardless of your location.

Your thread doesn't quite make sense to me.

I deduce u didn't read my post. It can't appeal to u cos u are tied up in ur enclave - Lagos. My post was in response to a generalized post made yesterday abt never thinking of marriage if one earns 35k. My intention here is to counter that argument cos people got different situations. There are millions of men that earn 20k and still have large families and live reasonably OK. My point is simple - different strokes for different folks.

I understand ur expectations for every adult to earn 100k per month. Again, leave ur enclave and travel out as suggested by Aquariann so u know the kind of environment people are surrounded with. My post ain't a generalization.

I'm here to read comments and adhere to the reasonable ones

You need lots of luck. You don't know what you are about to get into.

Thank God for your courage. You seem to be very smart and well organized.

But my concern is bringing kids into the world when things are yet to take better shape. My advice is enjoy you marriage, but wait for things to take shape before making babies. The most painful experience on earth is watching your wife and kids go hungry.

Theres a very big difference between planning and getting married and running a family. People lend you help when
# you are getting married
# your wife puts to bed
# you or a member of your family is sick
# when you are bereaved

But when hunger sets in....that case is different. People begin to assume you should have planned or better still everyone should run their home. Your family becomes your business. When you ask help often and from same people it might become a burden on them. They begin to avoid you.

In summary, marriage is beautiful at the beginning. But what makes it remain beautiful include money, plenty of patience and lots of understanding.

Its not new, afonjas dont need a salary or income to get married, once they get to 25 years+ they will marry Weather they have a job or not
I know a lot of them, even some with broken marriage

Raiyell:
Haha, I laugh at you!

Because you have a support system that can shoulder your bills is the reason why hunger has not finished you with your measly N35k monthly salary. Or perhaps you have another source of income that you conveniently didn't mention.

N35K and you're still waiting to get older before you start earning more?? I laugh at you.

Nairaland boys and girls, please disregard this thread because the contents can be classified as "Anti-advice"

I earn N125K per month and the money isn't even enough for me alone. Consider the fact that I also take care of my siblings from my meager earnings and you get the picture why someone like me can't even think of marriage with such a salary.

I am working extremely hard to ensure that I transition to a position where I can earn N250K - N300K per month. It is very possible in my field. Only then will I think of marriage.

I live in Lagos -- please, come and live in Lagos with N35K salary and see if hunger will not damage your destiny. By the time you even remove transport fare from your pay, you should have like N28K left. Then remove feeding, remove rent, internet, telephone, social life, tithes, money to parents and siblings you will be left with -N50K per month. You will have a deficit.

To me, it is quite important that every young person from the ages of 23 upwards be able to earn more than N100K per month regardless of your location.

Your thread doesn't quite make sense to me.

Oga three gbosa for you

OP they yarn nonsense, stupid nairalamdets come they praise am

I am 23 and what the fvck is 35k to me? OP dey near 40 they talk him wan marry

I no fit shout abeg

Raiyell:
Haha, I laugh at you!

Because you have a support system that can shoulder your bills is the reason why hunger has not finished you with your measly N35k monthly salary. Or perhaps you have another source of income that you conveniently didn't mention.

N35K and you're still waiting to get older before you start earning more?? I laugh at you.

Nairaland boys and girls, please disregard this thread because the contents can be classified as "Anti-advice"

I earn N125K per month and the money isn't even enough for me alone. Consider the fact that I also take care of my siblings from my meager earnings and you get the picture why someone like me can't even think of marriage with such a salary.

I am working extremely hard to ensure that I transition to a position where I can earn N250K - N300K per month. It is very possible in my field. Only then will I think of marriage.

I live in Lagos -- please, come and live in Lagos with N35K salary and see if hunger will not damage your destiny. By the time you even remove transport fare from your pay, you should have like N28K left. Then remove feeding, remove rent, internet, telephone, social life, tithes, money to parents and siblings you will be left with -N50K per month. You will have a deficit.

To me, it is quite important that every young person from the ages of 23 upwards be able to earn more than N100K per month regardless of your location.

Your thread doesn't quite make sense to me.

Where do you live?

Rorachy:
As in eh, I can't even imagine a life with someone on 35k salary, he wants to subject the poor girl to a life of penury.

I've seen your pictures on your dp. I can't see a glass house. Park well joor!

Wow.... God will bless you hustle

donpata:
I was moved to write this epistle cos of the fp topic of marrying someone who earns 35k yesterday. I have seen such questions on NL but I normally ignore them. Someone even asked if a lady can marry someone who earns 100k . I normally laugh at the comments and move on. I laughed at the sheer ignorance of many commenters, and the foolish statements many made. I decided to assume that 70% of the people who commented are either undergraduates still studying who have a big Disney picture of the sweet employment awaiting them or some who have not really known what is out there in the world. The remaining 20% earn well probably and so feel life should be like that for everyone. The remaining 10% commenters are those who really see life as it is in reality – DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS. Now am gonna be objective and subjective at the same time. And let me warn you – IT’S LONG

Me? 30yrs, had my BSc in the north but did my MSc at UI. Hoping to register for Phd by next year.
My fiancée? 24ys old and currently awaiting 300 lv registration. Will be done by 2019.

Fact: without any serious research, I think I am save to say that at least 50% of families (basically father and mother) in Nigeria earn a combined income of less than 40k in a month.
Fact: The federal govt claims it has about 100k civil servants. Add paramilitary and military with about 500k personnel and public office holders, I think 800k people in active service on FG’s payroll is a fair judgment. For the sake of argument, let’s assume fg has another 800k retired personnel on pension. That’s like 1.6 million people. Nigeria has a population of 180million people. The WB estimate Nigeria has a workforce of about 60 million in 2016. If we delete the 1.6million on FGs payroll, we still have about 58.4million people left. Obviously, the remaining are left for the State and Local govt as well as private sector to employ. How many are employed?
Lagos state claims it has about 100,000 workers in its payroll. Let me be liberal enough to use it as a benchmark for all Nigerian states and fct. 100k by 37 = 3.7million employees.
Obviously, we still have over 50million people to employ. How many will the Real private sector pick? Yeah those that will pay a graduate from 60k above – how many can they pick? Now many will have to be entrepreneurs, “self-employed” people, petty traders, artisans etc. How much can they really earn monthly?

Fact: 80% of state and LGA workers between level 1 and 10 earn less than 50k in a month. Apart from states like Lagos, Rivers, Akwa Ibom and a few others, most states, especially in the North, pay quite low. On level 8, with Kad Govt, I earn 35-37k. It fluctuates monthly. Note that there are married people with at least 3 children that are on lev 1 - 6. Do the maths.

Wedding:
Many asked how one will pay bride price. Well, I have crossed that bridge. I know my status so before I even got a lady, I started buying some stuff like wrappers to keep. More so, my savings, family and friends rally round me and that was solved. Only a foolish lady will think of bride price as an issue here. Except if her family is poor, why should they demand too much?. 2 of my sisters that married had their bride price pegged at 5k each. The total money paid on the first was 25k and 50k for the 2nd. Mind you, they are currently running their masters programme so they ain’t illiterates. Let me stop here.

So the Wedding? How will I handle it? SIMPLE: I AM CUTTING MY COAT ACCORDING TO MY POCKET

Box: I went to the market and saw boxes of 100-200k. I was showed a set of 5 for 30k as well. I opted for a set of 5 at 60k. That’s my own level too. Mind you there were people picking that of 30k too. Different strokes for Different folks.

RECEPTION VENUE: Church Premises. My church got a lot of space so why should I spend 200-500k (that I don’t even have) renting a hall for a 2hr event? A guy who got married last month in my Church did not do reception at all. Again, Different strokes for Different folks.

Wedding Cards: Saw a nice foreign one. They said it will cost me 30k per 100. I needed 500. I was showed another that will cost 5k per 100. I Finally opted for the one of 10k per 100. Even got a 5k discount.

My suit? I opted for a 16k suit and my best man decided to pay for it.

My shoes? I got really nice shoes but coz it’s my day, I opted for new ones. I picked up a very nice one for 2k. It aint top notch quality but it should take me through the day. It can actually pass for a ck or d&g when viewed from a distance.

My Chairs and Canopies? My organizers are 20. Lol . They have paid 80% of the money.

Cake? My aunt who has a HND in catering bla bla and has been in it for almost 15yrs running has taken that as her contribution.

DJ and Camera man? My men in suit, (5 in number) have paid for that service.

MC? A friend is good at it. That is his contribution.

Wedding Gown: My cake designer linked me to a lady who rents out. She thus charged us 10k for a nice wedding gown. I deposited 5k. Will pay 5k after the event.
Need I continue? I don’t think so.

The main thing – The marriage life
Yeah I know you are saying all I have said na wash. You are waiting for how reality will hit me after the marriage cos that’s the main deal. You gonna say you await my regret thread after some few months. Sorry, your expectation will be cut short.

Fees:
Now, my to-be wife will be registering for a new session by December. Her fees is just arnd 30k so I kept that amount and I have promised myself not to touch it until its time. I don’t even need to touch it. Everything appears almost set and done.

Clothing: I filled my wife’s box to the “brim” with both native and English wears. So for now, cloths aint really an issue.

Accommodation: Here in KD, a 1 bedroom mini flat cost between 80-150k depending on the location. Am not talking of a 2 room flat cos, truly, I don’t need it now. But I am not even thinking of taking the mini flat either. A room and parlor (real face me I face u) cost between 18k-45k depending on the location. There are better ones; mostly new houses that cost 40-60k. I’ve gotten a very nice one for 55k. Just 2 tenants in the house and the other guy is single so we just gonna be sharing the toilet with him. It’s not that I can’t afford it but wisdom must direct me. I got 2plots of land already so I don’t even intend staying in that house beyond a year or 2.

My building: I already have 2 plots of land. I’ve struck an agreement with some guys who will supply me mud blocks at N20 each. At my estimate of 3000 blocks, that’s 60k . Havent paid but after my wedding, I will do it jejely. My plan is to rush the building and roof it b4 the rains come next year. I paid some guys in my area 7k so by next week, they are gonna go there and dig the foundation of a 2bedroom flat for me. Not that I am building now but I have to dig during the rainy season cos the land gets hard during the dry season. My intention is to use just ¼ of the land for that so that when I am blessed wella, I will use the remaining ¾ of the land to build my pent house. Need I tell you that by estimates, I need 6 bundles of those “aluminum” sheets to roof it? I bought 3 last year when it was 16k. I could not add cos it went up to 30k. I heard it’s 20k now but I can’t buy the remaining 3 now cos of my wedding preps. Will do that after my wedding when I have relaxed a bit.

Feeding?
A 50kg bag of rice takes me over 5 months now that I am alone. I believe in varieties so I got different things stocked in my room. Adding one or two extra plate should not make life difficult. I planted maize on my 2 plots. Once harvested, I won’t need to buy semovita all the time. If you have been to the north, you will know that with my harvest, Tuwo is served. Need I continue? I don’t think so. Let me not bore you further.

My support to extended Families
Someone asked in that thread that how do one take care of his families and inlaws. Well, my family aint rich but they can cater for themselves. My dad and mum earn and have only one child left in the university. Moreover, they are sensible enough to know that they should not expect from me. Rather, what is sensible is for them to support me if need be . My fiancées’ parents aint rich either. But I know they aint so poor to demand me to take care of their own responsibility when they know I have their daughter to cater for. Of coz, once in a while, I will do what I can for our families.

Children
Just a child and I will pause until she is done with school. I know it’s gonna come with challenges but I don’t think you expect me to plan out every day of my life and budget for same here. I know that I will cross the bridge when I get there.

Other wants
I am a gadget freak. Before my wedding preps, I buy things impulsively. Now I know I have to control that. I know what lies ahead of me. That’s why I didn’t go for an iphone but went for a hot note. When the hot note packed up, I didn’t kill myself for a Samsung s7 even though I love it. I went for my sweet Ulefone Tiger @ 31k. When I went for a tab, I didn’t go for an ipad; not even a tecno pad. I went for imose xii . Instead of ps3 console, I download games to my laptop and play them. That serves me.

I CAN TRULY GO ON AND ON BUT CALLING SOMEONE A FOOL AS MANY DID ON THAT THREAD YESTERDAY IS QUITE ILLOGICAL. My dad married at 24. My mum was 19 then. Both are now degree holders. Things have changed and that’s why I am marrying at 30. I don’t want to clock 50 and yet taking my first child to write Common Entrance. If you like say I am rushing.
Firstly, I love my fiancée die. 2ndly, I am a Christian and my bodily desires are building up strongly. Marriage is the way out. 3rdly, I love kids. Since they are an inheritance, I can’t wait to have one as God wills. Lastly, I wanna retire in peace. Not old man using my pension to train undergraduates and Jambites.
Finally, I am not complacent with where I am. I have handled a few millions before but this is where I am now. I wanna go for my phd and I hope to reestablish myself in business. But I can’t again let my social life suffer cos of where I am today. I have a job now; low paying as it is, I know if well managed, I will make it out. Even if I remain in the employ of the State Govt, I cant earn 35k forever. I am young and will keep moving on.

DISCLAIMER: This is not meant to force anyone to get married when he is not ready - Not at all. I just want some people to know that there are different strokes for different folks. There are too many factors that determine happiness and success in life and marriage. Your salary is just one. YOU CANT CALL ME A FOOL FOR MY DECISION. I HAVE CAREFULLY WEIGHED MY CIRCUMSTANCE AND PROSPECTS AND I FEEL I AM READY TO TAKE THE LEAP. I KNOW IT WONT BE A WALK IN THE PARK; BUT IT WONT BE TOO DIFFICULT EITHER.
FOR THE “FOOLS AT 40” WAITING FOR THEIR MILLIONS TO BUILD UP BEFORE SETTLING DOWN, TILL UNA COME.
FORGIVE ME FOR THE LONG EPISTLE. HAD TO TAKE MY TIME SO THAT SOME PEOPLE WILL APPRECIATE THAT NO TWO PEOPLE HAVE SAME CIRCUMSTANCES AND SITUATIONS.

I PROMISE TO RAISE ANOTHER THREAD ANNUALLY TO TELL YOU HOW FAR WE HAVE GONE.

U got ur priority wrong

With this ur level of income marrying at 30 yrs to a student is a nonsensical decision which u will soon find out. U are blabbing abt friends Paying abt this n dt for u I hope they will also feed, cloth, pay rent, ur wife sch fees etc for u in marriage.
U r financially immature for marriage n shld ve waited for ur wife to graduate n for ur finances to improve may be marrying @ 33
U ve no idea of what u r getting urself into with a student wife n 35 k income.

U will ve a miserable start to ur marriage with enough suffering due to poor planning better start learning to soak garri with salt n water now in preparation for what lies ahead

jaychubi:
U got ur priority wrong

With this ur level of income marrying at 30 yrs to a student is a nonsensical decision which u will soon find out. U are blabbing abt friends Paying abt this n dt for u I hope they will also feed, cloth, pay rent, ur wife sch fees etc for u in marriage.
U r financially immature for marriage n shld ve waited for ur wife to graduate n for ur finances to improve may be marrying @ 33
U ve no idea of what u r getting urself into with a student wife n 35 k income.

I know very clearly that all support I got is for the wedding. I am on my own on the marriage. I am ready and determined. Moreover, are u really the optimist u claim to be?

Nice write up, I'm a guy of late 20s, I have a degree and masters degree in view, hopefully I'll roundup this year, I work for my self and earn 100k + monthly, I'm a good example of a hustler , I have car but still live with my parent ... I also have 2plots in CBD, Im just waiting to save up to half a million so that I can't start building before this year ends, hope fully, I know the next to do after my education is marriage, but I'm seriously scared of it.

moststylish:
the OP is just making list without telling us how he is going to get the money

Forget am, see how he wan build house.
Think say house na wetin u fit plan like that.
Op may ur faith carry you far but.. .. ..

donpata:
dont pity me. Pray for yourself and include me too.

But prayer does not work.

i respect you sir and thank God you have an understandable woman, i pray that GOD will enlarge your coast and and send help to you in Jesus name..

Thumbs up bro,this your analysis is so detailed......while in the university I was practically feeding my roommate,he was a good cook and can make wonders with the little money I gave to him in form of food.....three and half years with him and my monthly upkeep of about 30k and I told myself that if I could get a woman that is so prudent like him,getting married with that amount will not be the wrongest idea I have ever conceived

i love this, kayi gaskiya

donpata:
I understand the sarcasm here. But It's not abt taste madam. It's about going with what her man can afford. It's abt being understanding and patient. And btw, u are right. Its a match made in heaven

A very matured and intelligent response!

l mean, with sheer class written all over it. Kudos OP!

A big respect to donpata . Sir, all I see is that you are well determined. And you understand that 'its all about you' You are truly the Leader.

My addition is:
Rather planning to finance a PHD. Why don't you gather the money to start a business or invest.

pocohantas:
You have lots of support system, not everyone is this lucky.
You also didn't tell us you most likely have another source of income.
You buy impulsively according to your writeup, who does that with 35-37k salary?

If they say they can't marry with 35k, leave it for them.
Wish them the best...
While they wish you same.



They are not rare. They are everywhere.
OP, is very discerning that's why he could pick her out of all the karashikas. Some of you want a girl with the so called 'slay queen' looks and body ...someone you can flaunt around as high class babe.

That's how you guys end up ignoring the modest babe because she doesn't look overly flashy. When slayqueen slays una pocket, you come to NL and shout all girls are the same.

Start observing pre-wedding pictures henceforth. Watch how modest young men go for modest young women. The best thing that can happen to anyone...male or female, is to know your size, it's not an insult...it's for ones peace of mind.

Bless you...

I am a living testimonia if i can use d English like dat. I got married dis year, April 29th precisely. Earning 38k par month. I only cut my cloth according to my cloth or my size which ever way. I bliv my future is bright with d kind of woman i got as wife. Doe i dont settle for less i am still hustling.

donpata:
I deduce u didn't read my post. It can't appeal to u cos u are tied up in ur enclave - Lagos. My post was in response to a generalized post made yesterday abt never thinking of marriage if one earns 35k. My intention here is to counter that argument cos people got different situations. There are millions of men that earn 20k and still have large families and live reasonably OK. My point is simple - different strokes for different folks.

I understand ur expectations for every adult to earn 100k per month. Again, leave ur enclave and travel out as suggested by Aquariann so u know the kind of environment people are surrounded with. My post ain't a generalization.

Look, that I am in Lagos is immaterial; I still live in Nigeria with you. The currency we use has the same comparative value across the nation, my naira equal to your naira. That being said: you're are setting yourself up for some serious sh*t if you go ahead and consummate your relationship without first improving your finances.

Two days ago when me and my brother went to the market for grocery shopping for the next month, I know how much I spent and it was nearly up to N25K.

See oh, I did not go to Ghana to buy my groceries, I shopped at Lagos market.

So, I am all surprised that you are saying N35K is a good and livable income in this post-recession Nigeria with 75% inflation.

What is the quality of life you aspire for? Why are you too patient and unambitious?

Even in rural areas, those who know what they're doing bank more than N100K per month so I don't understand what you're talking about. Before you say I am tied up in my enclave, just know that I am talking about Enugu state from a first-hand and native perspective.

Bro u think u'v got everything planned out buh I tell u you're wrong.life doesn't always fall out as planned, there r some unforeseen circumstances that may arise eg.sickness and so on,no one prays for it thou buh it happens.there r so many pp contributing as little as they can give just to see ur wedding a success. But will they b there afterwards?. A mere 35k won't do anything in this present economy and u'r even talking of fathering a child(even if it's just one).your wife's hospital bill during pregnancy may wipe out ur entire salary n then what?.Then talk of baby cloths n foodstuffs jeez u wouldn't want to find ursef in such situation.An lastly u think ur in-laws are contented with u just marrying their daughter,certain responsibilities r expected of u.peradventure her brother comes to stay(one more mouth to feed).whether tem or permanently ur salary isn't just enough

m not trying to discourage u since u'v got ur mind made-up, like u said different strokes for different folks.
Pray u get a better job/income.

donpata:
I understand the sarcasm here. But It's not abt taste madam. It's about going with what her man can afford. It's abt being understanding and patient. And btw, u are right. Its a match made in heaven

I'm so proud of you. Look at your achievements. Jeez.


You are the MVP

Gotta save this...he who fails to plan plans to fail.op u have don well.

Oyindidi:
I've seen your pictures on your dp. I can't see a glass house. Park well joor!

Choi. Onu ojoo. I've seen her pix also. She is busy forming nonsense.


How you dey?