₦airaland Forum

illuminated93:
Even if I respect the OP for engaging in a honest means of making ends meet, i must say that I find this thread irritating and nauseating. I refuse to be infected by this poverty mindset.

Wetin Bola tinubu do you?

OldBeer:

Bye Grandpa.
Hediot!

Thanks

Nukualofa:
[b]

Imagine the idiot exchanging word with me , An NYSC i did when you were still in SS2 ten years ago. You ve gotten your fame now walk

You should know that there are a lot of younglings here.

eleojo23:
your eye don clear abi?

My brother...

eleojo23:
You should know that there are a lot of younglings here.

seriously i felt shallow exchanging words with him. He can't stand my sister i trained through school talk more of opening his mouth if he sees me. Anonymous personality of NL gives a lot of kids the leeway to talk down on people they might work under tomorrow

Impressive analysis...Op u are right, I also got married earning N48,000, while sponsoring my younger sister in my state's university because my father is late. I was told not to marry yet but I know as a graduate with promising job, at 30 yrs of age it was the right time because I actually planned to get married at age 30.
Then my wife was 27 yrs old and she just finished her NYSC. Most of your plans look similar to mine, I filled her bags upfront too, I have my suit and shoes in stock too, my committee of friends sponsored my bachelors eve, DJ and MC. One of my cousin sister rented the wedding gown, a friend rented a very moderate hall of 45k, I only paid 35k for decoration. My aunt organised her friends to do the cooking after I bought the food stuff including 55k cow. My in-laws waved the dowry even though we presented it. And other favours I can't mention right now.

After the wedding, I was still able to pay my sisters school fees she is now in 300L. I occupied a one bedroom apartment at our staff quarters. Presently, my wife is doing home lesson inside my sitting room for 27 pupils paying her 3k each.
I got the job with my ND and after my wedding I was placed on Grade Level 7 using my HND, now earning 99k.

Note:
I 've always contributed financially during friends wedding in the past ranging from 5k-7k, in addition to physical assistance.
Good deeds pays. I once followed a friend to his elder brother's wedding those days, the cow purchased for the wedding became aggressive during conveyance and got loosed on the road, I took up the challenge of joining them for tracing and capturing it. I never knew the man took notice of my efforts. He is the one who paid 55k for my wedding cow.

Planning is the way out, given the economic realities in this country, as a stitch in time saves nine. You don't want to be paying children school fees at old age, do you? Then better face the hardship now and rest later. There are no comfortable time to marry...you are just deceiving yourself if you think so. Once you are matured in mind, with little resource and matured wife, you will succeed. Don't be a fool at 40, pls. Marriage usually comes with its own luck sometimes.

Op is in KD. He MIGHT be able to manage even in Jos, you can manage. Try it in lagos...it's not that simple especially accomodation.
Besides you didn't pay for everything yourself plus if you were marrying an ibo girl with plenty bride price, you would have been telling a different story.
Please don't advise anyone to follow ur way cos they might not have cousin to cook for the wedding, people to contribute ...family members that are ready to assist. They might be all alone.
Love is sweet but it cannot be eaten o. A word is enough for the wise.

rheether:
I pity you

lol...no need to pity him..u never can tell things can change for him soon...some married wen dey had nothing and today dey have more dan enough...

35k reach to drink beer?

rheether:
I pity you

LWKMD o

Merryglad:
hahaha brother husband material

Yes ooooo... taste and see that the Lord is good

Merryglad:
hahaha brother husband material

Yes ooooo... taste and see that the Lord is good

op well done, I married last year under d same careful plan and trust in God...I can tell you dat am not at the level I was in May last year. you are on the right path cos u have a modest woman like my Queen as faïence ...cheers

expensiveguyman:
I didn't read ur long epistle but if u earned just 35k monthly and u want to settle down here in Nigeria.

I must tell u that u're walking on a long thing nd a serious hard time await u.

I know I sound discouraging but that's d bitter truth sir.

It's not always as you think.... ..but instead wish him best of the best wishes.

Danielmoore:
that's his choice my dear
and his girl accepts so no problems there

who says such situation would be permanent.. I wonder why nigerians are just so myopic.
There will definitely be a change of status.

op,i salute ur courage,though it is not easy,but for u to have made up ur mind,then u must have considered all other things that will come after the marraige.35k or 37k atleast u are starting from somewhere,so people will say until they start earning 100k or 80k or more before they will get married and that they never get and end up marrying very late.goodluck to you my brother.

Wooww.. .couldn't believe I read through everything. I wish you best wishes bro, May the coming together of you two open the door � of favor and Blessings for you.

Nice plan work

ImaIma1:
Op is in KD. He MIGHT be able to manage even in Jos, you can manage. Try it in lagos...it's not that simple especially accomodation.
Besides you didn't pay for everything yourself plus if you were marrying an ibo girl with plenty bride price, you would have been telling a different story.
Please don't advise anyone to follow ur way cos they might not have cousin to cook for the wedding, people to contribute ...family members that are ready to assist. They might be all alone.
Love is sweet but it cannot be eaten o. A word is enough for the wise.

Marrying an Ibo girl? That's your palava though. Remember that he said different people for different folks.. .....lip sealed.

See as all these babes the dy flood this thread with romantic comments.

Make una no go find una own 35k bae

One thing I noticed about this guys is that he is very disciplined like me and also very meticulous.

God will bless your Union!

Op, you are 100% wrong when you referred to other people's decision as "FOOLISH PEOPLE" remember the same you said different stroke for different folks.
You sound as if your decision which is inline with you condition is the best. It's only the best to you and you alone. Don't generalized.

LEAP AND THE NET WILL APPEAR

That's a fundamental law of this life.

hotdi:
Impressive analysis...Op u are right, I also got married earning N48,000, while sponsoring my younger sister in the my state's university because my father is late. I was told not to marry yet but I know as a graduate with promising job, at 30 yrs of age it was the right time because I actually planned to get married at age 30.
Then my wife was 27 yrs old and she just finished her NYSC. Most of your plans look similarly to mine, i filled her bags upfront too, I have my suit and shoes in stock too, my committee of friends sponsored my bachelors eve, DJ and MC. One of my cousin sister rented the wedding gown, a friend rented a very moderate hall of 45k, I only paid 35k for decoration. My aunt organised her friends to do the cooking after I bought the food stuff including 55k cow. My in-laws waved the dowry even though we presented it. And other favours I can't mention right now.

After the wedding, I was still able to pay my sisters school fees she is now in 300L. I occupied a one bedroom apartment at our staff quarters. Presently, my wife is doing home lesson inside my sitting room for 27 pupils paying her 3k each.
I got the job with my ND and after my wedding I was placed on Grade Level 7 using my HND, now earning 99k.

Note:
I 've always contributed financially during friends wedding in the past ranging from 5k-7k, in addition to physical assistance.
Good deeds pays. I once followed a friend to his elder brother's wedding those days, the cow purchased for the wedding became aggressive during conveyance and got loosed on the road, I took up the challenge of joining them for tracing and capturing it. I never knew the man took notice of my efforts. He is the one who paid 55k for my wedding cow.

Planning is the way out, given the economic realities in this country, as a stitch in time saves nine. You don't want to be paying children school fees at old age, do you? Then better face the hardship now and rest later. There are no comfortable time to marry...you are just deceiving yourself if you think so. Once you are matured in mind, with little resource and matured wife, you will succeed. Don't be a fool at 40, pls. Marriage usually comes with its own luck sometimes.

You have a valid points bro.

Olayemi244:
You have a valid points bro.

And u have invalid grammar, bro

donpata:
I was moved to write this epistle cos of the fp topic of marrying someone who earns 35k yesterday. I have seen such questions on NL but I normally ignore them. Someone even asked if a lady can marry someone who earns 100k . I normally laugh at the comments and move on. I laughed at the sheer ignorance of many commenters, and the foolish statements many made. I decided to assume that 70% of the people who commented are either undergraduates still studying who have a big Disney picture of the sweet employment awaiting them or some who have not really known what is out there in the world. The remaining 20% earn well probably and so feel life should be like that for everyone. The remaining 10% commenters are those who really see life as it is in reality – DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS. Now am gonna be objective and subjective at the same time. And let me warn you – IT’S LONG

Me? 30yrs, had my BSc in the north but did my MSc at UI. Hoping to register for Phd by next year.
My fiancée? 24ys old and currently awaiting 300 lv registration. Will be done by 2019.

Fact: without any serious research, I think I am save to say that at least 50% of families (basically father and mother) in Nigeria earn a combined income of less than 40k in a month.
Fact: The federal govt claims it has about 100k civil servants. Add paramilitary and military with about 500k personnel and public office holders, I think 800k people in active service on FG’s payroll is a fair judgment. For the sake of argument, let’s assume fg has another 800k retired personnel on pension. That’s like 1.6 million people. Nigeria has a population of 180million people. The WB estimate Nigeria has a workforce of about 60 million in 2016. If we delete the 1.6million on FGs payroll, we still have about 58.4million people left. Obviously, the remaining are left for the State and Local govt as well as private sector to employ. How many are employed?
Lagos state claims it has about 100,000 workers in its payroll. Let me be liberal enough to use it as a benchmark for all Nigerian states and fct. 100k by 37 = 3.7million employees.
Obviously, we still have over 50million people to employ. How many will the Real private sector pick? Yeah those that will pay a graduate from 60k above – how many can they pick? Now many will have to be entrepreneurs, “self-employed” people, petty traders, artisans etc. How much can they really earn monthly?

Fact: 80% of state and LGA workers between level 1 and 10 earn less than 50k in a month. Apart from states like Lagos, Rivers, Akwa Ibom and a few others, most states, especially in the North, pay quite low. On level 8, with Kad Govt, I earn 35-37k. It fluctuates monthly. Note that there are married people with at least 3 children that are on lev 1 - 6. Do the maths.

Wedding:
Many asked how one will pay bride price. Well, I have crossed that bridge. I know my status so before I even got a lady, I started buying some stuff like wrappers to keep. More so, my savings, family and friends rally round me and that was solved. Only a foolish lady will think of bride price as an issue here. Except if her family is poor, why should they demand too much?. 2 of my sisters that married had their bride price pegged at 5k each. The total money paid on the first was 25k and 50k for the 2nd. Mind you, they are currently running their masters programme so they ain’t illiterates. Let me stop here.

So the Wedding? How will I handle it? SIMPLE: I AM CUTTING MY COAT ACCORDING TO MY POCKET

Box: I went to the market and saw boxes of 100-200k. I was showed a set of 5 for 30k as well. I opted for a set of 5 at 60k. That’s my own level too. Mind you there were people picking that of 30k too. Different strokes for Different folks.

RECEPTION VENUE: Church Premises. My church got a lot of space so why should I spend 200-500k (that I don’t even have) renting a hall for a 2hr event? A guy who got married last month in my Church did not do reception at all. Again, Different strokes for Different folks.

Wedding Cards: Saw a nice foreign one. They said it will cost me 30k per 100. I needed 500. I was showed another that will cost 5k per 100. I Finally opted for the one of 10k per 100. Even got a 5k discount.

My suit? I opted for a 16k suit and my best man decided to pay for it.

My shoes? I got really nice shoes but coz it’s my day, I opted for new ones. I picked up a very nice one for 2k. It aint top notch quality but it should take me through the day. It can actually pass for a ck or d&g when viewed from a distance.

My Chairs and Canopies? My organizers are 20. Lol . They have paid 80% of the money.

Cake? My aunt who has a HND in catering bla bla and has been in it for almost 15yrs running has taken that as her contribution.

DJ and Camera man? My men in suit, (5 in number) have paid for that service.

MC? A friend is good at it. That is his contribution.

Wedding Gown: My cake designer linked me to a lady who rents out. She thus charged us 10k for a nice wedding gown. I deposited 5k. Will pay 5k after the event.
Need I continue? I don’t think so.

The main thing – The marriage life
Yeah I know you are saying all I have said na wash. You are waiting for how reality will hit me after the marriage cos that’s the main deal. You gonna say you await my regret thread after some few months. Sorry, your expectation will be cut short.

Fees:
Now, my to-be wife will be registering for a new session by December. Her fees is just arnd 30k so I kept that amount and I have promised myself not to touch it until its time. I don’t even need to touch it. Everything appears almost set and done.

Clothing: I filled my wife’s box to the “brim” with both native and English wears. So for now, cloths aint really an issue.

Accommodation: Here in KD, a 1 bedroom mini flat cost between 80-150k depending on the location. Am not talking of a 2 room flat cos, truly, I don’t need it now. But I am not even thinking of taking the mini flat either. A room and parlor (real face me I face u) cost between 18k-45k depending on the location. There are better ones; mostly new houses that cost 40-60k. I’ve gotten a very nice one for 55k. Just 2 tenants in the house and the other guy is single so we just gonna be sharing the toilet with him. It’s not that I can’t afford it but wisdom must direct me. I got 2plots of land already so I don’t even intend staying in that house beyond a year or 2.

My building: I already have 2 plots of land. I’ve struck an agreement with some guys who will supply me mud blocks at N20 each. At my estimate of 3000 blocks, that’s 60k . Havent paid but after my wedding, I will do it jejely. My plan is to rush the building and roof it b4 the rains come next year. I paid some guys in my area 7k so by next week, they are gonna go there and dig the foundation of a 2bedroom flat for me. Not that I am building now but I have to dig during the rainy season cos the land gets hard during the dry season. My intention is to use just ¼ of the land for that so that when I am blessed wella, I will use the remaining ¾ of the land to build my pent house. Need I tell you that by estimates, I need 6 bundles of those “aluminum” sheets to roof it? I bought 3 last year when it was 16k. I could not add cos it went up to 30k. I heard it’s 20k now but I can’t buy the remaining 3 now cos of my wedding preps. Will do that after my wedding when I have relaxed a bit.

Feeding?
A 50kg bag of rice takes me over 5 months now that I am alone. I believe in varieties so I got different things stocked in my room. Adding one or two extra plate should not make life difficult. I planted maize on my 2 plots. Once harvested, I won’t need to buy semovita all the time. If you have been to the north, you will know that with my harvest, Tuwo is served. Need I continue? I don’t think so. Let me not bore you further.

My support to extended Families
Someone asked in that thread that how do one take care of his families and inlaws. Well, my family aint rich but they can cater for themselves. My dad and mum earn and have only one child left in the university. Moreover, they are sensible enough to know that they should not expect from me. Rather, what is sensible is for them to support me if need be . My fiancées’ parents aint rich either. But I know they aint so poor to demand me to take care of their own responsibility when they know I have their daughter to cater for. Of coz, once in a while, I will do what I can for our families.

Children
Just a child and I will pause until she is done with school. I know it’s gonna come with challenges but I don’t think you expect me to plan out every day of my life and budget for same here. I know that I will cross the bridge when I get there.

Other wants
I am a gadget freak. Before my wedding preps, I buy things impulsively. Now I know I have to control that. I know what lies ahead of me. That’s why I didn’t go for an iphone but went for a hot note. When the hot note packed up, I didn’t kill myself for a Samsung s7 even though I love it. I went for my sweet Ulefone Tiger @ 31k. When I went for a tab, I didn’t go for an ipad; not even a tecno pad. I went for imose xii . Instead of ps3 console, I download games to my laptop and play them. That serves me.

I CAN TRULY GO ON AND ON BUT CALLING SOMEONE A FOOL AS MANY DID ON THAT THREAD YESTERDAY IS QUITE ILLOGICAL. My dad married at 24. My mum was 19 then. Both are now degree holders. Things have changed and that’s why I am marrying at 30. I don’t want to clock 50 and yet taking my first child to write Common Entrance. If you like say I am rushing.
Firstly, I love my fiancée die. 2ndly, I am a Christian and my bodily desires are building up strongly. Marriage is the way out. 3rdly, I love kids. Since they are an inheritance, I can’t wait to have one as God wills. Lastly, I wanna retire in peace. Not old man using my pension to train undergraduates and Jambites.
Finally, I am not complacent with where I am. I have handled a few millions before but this is where I am now. I wanna go for my phd and I hope to reestablish myself in business. But I can’t again let my social life suffer cos of where I am today. I have a job now; low paying as it is, I know if well managed, I will make it out. Even if I remain in the employ of the State Govt, I cant earn 35k forever. I am young and will keep moving on.

DISCLAIMER: This is not meant to force anyone to get married when he is not ready - Not at all. I just want some people to know that there are different strokes for different folks. There are too many factors that determine happiness and success in life and marriage. Your salary is just one. YOU CANT CALL ME A FOOL FOR MY DECISION. I HAVE CAREFULLY WEIGHED MY CIRCUMSTANCE AND PROSPECTS AND I FEEL I AM READY TO TAKE THE LEAP. I KNOW IT WONT BE A WALK IN THE PARK; BUT IT WONT BE TOO DIFFICULT EITHER.
FOR THE “FOOLS AT 40” WAITING FOR THEIR MILLIONS TO BUILD UP BEFORE SETTLING DOWN, TILL UNA COME.
FORGIVE ME FOR THE LONG EPISTLE. HAD TO TAKE MY TIME SO THAT SOME PEOPLE WILL APPRECIATE THAT NO TWO PEOPLE HAVE SAME CIRCUMSTANCES AND SITUATIONS.

I PROMISE TO RAISE ANOTHER THREAD ANNUALLY TO TELL YOU HOW FAR WE HAVE GONE.

Bro, I salute your courage!
My salary as of today Tuesday 05-09-2017 is 35k
* am married with one kid
* we are living in two bedroom flat
* am driving 2005 accord
* am currently building 3 bedrooms flat
* am taking care of my elderly parents
* I got married on 16-08-2015
* i personally sponsore my wife from UG2 to 4
* my standard of living has really improved from the Sept 2015 to date, cos i hustle more knowing i have dependants.
* the funds i used to spent on slay queens recklessly can now be put to other productive things

All i can say is dont depend on your salary alone the poorest people are salary earners no one among the world Millionaires/Billionaires is salary earner.
Hustle, Hustle & Hustle legitimately.


NB i can help u with some tips on how to manage your home economically & efficiently

rheether:
I pity you

na dem......slay mama

lalasticlala:
Interesting

Sorry, wasn't for you

Olayemi244:
Good one Bro, though I don't like to criticize you but according to what you said, you earn 65k monthly though it was slashed. And you said you gave your wife 50k every month for normal stuffs buy also save 15k monthly. What about your transportation to your workplace... ...you forget to explain that.

You quoted the wrong person...

7Alexander:
God bless you for this, I'm from Nnewi in Anambra, which isn't even a village. But one of my kinsmen just finished a 4bedroom apartment, 3 of the rooms are ensuite. Yes, he didn't have to buy land, as he inherited one.

Do you know his job? Okada plus other menial jobs. Another interesting fact is that it took him a little over one year to complete this building, in fact they moved in this February. I went home last week only to see that he have added two blocks of shop in front of the building.

City dwellers do not really understand that cost of living isn't same everywhere

Oga mi, I'm telling you the truth o. The guys are usually so determined that you begin to ask yourself some hard questions.

Usually, they'll save and buy say five bags of cement. Anywhere it takes them, they'll stop and save again. If they have small money, they'll buy one bundle of zinc and keep. Small small, house done set.

Then when "we" earning thousands in the city finally visit, shame go dey catch person.

The irony of it all is that even with their (little) achievement, comfort and peace of mind, most of them would want to leave for the city because they believe it would be better over there.

You begin to ask yourself why southerners are still in the north despite the insecurities. It's simply because the general cost of living is unbelievably low.

I think you took time to arrive @ your estimation and plan.However after marriage comes kids.Kindly,take time to sort this out with your spouse.As i know raising kids isnt based on mathematics.

Bigsteveg:
You have a problem undestanding. He is a msc holder, he's just unfortunate with job. He also plans to go for PhD. Soon, luck will smile on him.

Also, mind your business, focus on you own life

I can't mind my business in a public forum fyi.

If you love him, you would give him good advice. 35k is too small to take care of one person.

Bagehot:
If he is worth his onions, he cannot be doing 30k - unless he also has spiritual problems. So this man sold his 2 cars and ate the money, and then proceeded to become a lesson teacher to earn 30k a month, and you think there is nothing wrong with him?

Its not about his mistakes. At least, he is not a liability to people around. There is an illusion in having a faily high standard of living, whenkIts about the fact that we sometimes experience Bearish trends in our economy.

Some years back, I did a good business which turned bad and wiped out both my N2m investment and a serious debt which took me almost 3 years of hard labour and poverty to pay off. I was practically borrowing to feed myself. The experience made me to see that change in fortune can happen to anyone.