The op is not talking about charity. That's a different kettle of fish.

MissCokie:


Yeah, because you would, i was trying to sow the seed of discord?. Such is life.

Yeah

Miss Cokie is EXTREMELY correct.

MissCokie:


You will attach some things later. But, still yet, don't. Show that compassion to your family.

And if my family doesn't need the money?

babyfaceafrica:
love..lmao

And what's so funny?

Jman06:
We have all done some crazy stuff in the past for love. I recall spending my monthly allowance in school on a girl i was madly in love with, thinking that that would please her and make her happy. But i was dead wrong. What i got in return was a girl who was always showing attitude issue. At a point she wanted to turn me to full-time ATM, that was when i had to borrow some sense and quit the relationship. Since then i drew the conclusion that giving gifts does not make girls happy. So, i won't advice any guy to train a girl he has love affairs with in school. That will not make her see you differently from other guys. You'll only end up with heartbreaks when she dumps you and falls cheaply for another dude.

That's the thing. You spent to please her. You can't buy someone's affections. You presented yourself as an ATM & she took the opportunity. You share some of the blame

illuminated93:
You have an awakened mind.

Yes I do very well.

I know how God has blessed me financially, in all the efforts have wasted on exs. And I thank God the exs were not meant for me, they carry their wahala and deceits go.


As an ungrateful one leaves, thinking he has played a smart move on me, not knowing he has even saved me from a disastrous and deceitful marriage if I had gone ahead with the whole fiasco. And me, I can't stay with a deceitful human being, how much more a partner .

And strangely enough during my process of heartbreak, there comes an increase in my buisness, the next week and so forth.. And am like wow!

Well if I can't have sincere love back then, at least money is coming. It's all good.

Kaycee7:
That's the thing. You spent to please her. You can't buy someone's affections. You presented yourself as an ATM & she took the opportunity. You share some of the blame

Yeah, because i was brought up to believe that men should fend for their women, and that women appreciate and respect men who fend for them. But things have changed. Women no longer appreciate men who care for them.

Kaycee7:
And if my family doesn't need the money?

Invest in yourself

I concur with op-

It is natural to expect return on ones investment. Even God expects our worship, love and devotion in exchange for blessings and life given to us; Tho, not force us.

I can only sponsor or invest in someone thru and as as part of charity organization thru a venture- school, business etc.

When i sow a seed, i expect to reap the rewards somehow. The reward may not come from the same source but i expect a return nevertheless.

Its really the most natural universal principle.

Jman06:
Yeah, because i was brought up to believe that men should fend for their women, and that women appreciate and respect men who fend for them. But things have changed. Women no longer appreciate men who care for them.

Women appreciate men who care for them. They may not appreciate those who spend on them.
But at the end, they fall for who their hearts want.
That a woman appreciates you doesn't mean she will or should date you, talk more of marry.

MissCokie:


Invest in yourself

And if I'm already made?

MrBrownJay1:


if dating a goldigging broke aaass ungrateful desperate woman, YES, but if you have a proper woman on your hands then feel her spirit, and invest whatever you think she deserves.

The guy above me make sense. i meant to understand one thing in life no one can make poor and no one can make u rich, if she deserve it, so shall it be, ' what goes around comes around'

No! Only a humane mind does that. Is jst like saying,y would you help a dear friend in need.

vizkiz:

Why will you sponsor someone who isn't your wife in the first place?

Only a stupìd fella does that.

Xiadnat:
I concur with op-

It is natural to expect return on ones investment. Even God expects our worship, love and devotion in exchange for blessings and life given to us; Tho, not force us.

I can only sponsor or invest in someone thru and as as part of charity organization thru a venture- school, business etc.

When i sow a seed, i expect to reap the rewards somehow. The reward may not come from the same source but i expect a return nevertheless.

Its really the most natural universal principle.

well said

I choose nt 2 share in op's School of taught. Is ops saying Wen som1 is financially incapable it is wrong 2 help? Comon dats y u ar nt d only one in dis world,We all need a helping hand at one point or d oda in life.

SOME MEN ARE MUGU

OrestesDante:
Bottom line?
What's your point?

MAGA DON PAY SHOUT HALLELUJAH

MissCokie:


Sometimes people prefer to act blind when they see the truth.

So right. Many guys have been conned into believing many things ( that's what a man does) that affects them in life and prevents them from thinking normally .
My thought

Kaycee7:
And if I'm already made?

Nobody is already made. Bill gates still acquires knowledge.

Daeylar:


To me, she spoiling people's mind,
I never said you should give without emotions attached, I said give because you want to, because it's what you want to do. Not because you were cajoled or manipulated, because then you may feel resentful



I understand this that's why I said in my first sentence know who you are giving to

was Jesus also spoiling peoples minds?

Kaycee7:
Women appreciate men who care for them. They may not appreciate those who spend on them.
But at the end, they fall for who their hearts want.
That a woman appreciates you doesn't mean she will or should date you, talk more of marry.

are u certain about that?has that been scientifically proven?

MissCokie:


The less privilege, IDP camps would pray for you, your family members will never forget you. But if you decide to help a girl is just your gf, the outcome won't be nice.

Lol, if it is prayers and not being forgotten you want in return, it can be gotten from anyone.

Have you not heard of IDP camps that you would invest to and the money would be diverted i.e the life you are thinking you would save would probably die?

Have you not heard of family members who you sponsor their education and would instead squander the money and at the end of the day, that family member is still an illiterate?

But should that stop us from giving to them?

I think you are getting it all wrong. When we give, what we should expect in return is not gratitude through prayers nor future help nor all those things you mentioned. What we should expect in return is that the cause you did give to is accomplished.

Therefore, a girlfriend that you sponsor her education and she moves a step higher in life even though ended up not marrying you as you would have thought is better than the example of the family member and IDP camp I listed above.

NB: Giving should not be "no strings attached". It should involve emotions. You are meant to be interested in the life you are sowing to and monitor it. Even when you give to the church, IDP camp, monitor how it is used. If not, you might just be giving in vain because it might not accomplish what it is meant to.

freddywells81:


@illuminated93 :You are wrong bro. Everyone ,even God expects something from you in return for what he's done for us..especially when that person is your gf,you'd naturally expect a payback except for the fact that u chose to make a decision not to get along with her later..because you are emotionally attached,it pains u more. So,I strongly agree with Misscokie

Even though God expects praises, salvation and all in return, if he does not get it, he would still give. If not he would have taken the gift of life from so many of us. That is the mentality we should have. Even if we don't get in return, it should not hinder us from giving.

illuminated93:
If I do anything for my gf or anyone,it's not really because I owe such person a duty or something, it's just because I'm the bigger person,and if I don't like,I won't do,no matter the noise.I don't do things for people because I expect a payback,that's a poverty mindset. But the idea is this, never allow emotional blackmail as a way of getting you to do stuffs

Apart from the girlfriends,how persons you have sponsored or helped.

MissCokie:


No woman is "proper" if she is still your girlfriend.

very funny, are you a comedian or single and actively searching to become a wife at all cost?!
so you mean to tell us all that right before you decide to marry someone, they are "improper"?! but then again, if that is/was the case, then why would anyone even want to marry that "improper" person?! i

in life there are stages, and if that person is proper the day you meet, then (unless she acts otherwise) its the same proper person that you will encounter 20yrs from that day, whether as a wife (or as a gf).

here is what you fail to understand in my post.... so long as people help someone A) out their own free will and B) decide what that person deserve, and C) NO rewards is expected in return, then there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with it, even if that person later decide to go with someone else. the catch is when such "gift" is forced/begged/blackmailed out of you via cheap and cunning means.

One of my elder bro friend made that mistake and I learnt from it.
The guy Is not a graduate but he was making enough money and he decided to send his gf toa uni hopping that after she graduate,they would get married.
After the girl finished he even helped her secured a job and the girl dumped him.
Saying she can't marry a man that is not a graduate.
She even told him to calculate all the money he spent on her uni, that she would pay him double.

imustsaymymindo:


Even though God expects praises, salvation and all in return, if he does not get it, he would still give. If not he would have taken the gift of life from so many of us. That is the mentality we should have. Even if we don't get in return, it should not hinder us from giving.

Yes..because he is the all sufficient God. Do u have sufficient money at your disposal ? We are talking about real-life situation and the fact that people change without notice which makes it more painful . if u av sufficient money u can throw around ,u'd av assisted every gfs u ever had to getting B.Sc to Phd level without even having s..ex with them

MissCokie:


Nobody is already made. Bill gates still acquires knowledge.

Guy, I don't know what that girl did to you. But it's no excuse to discourage other people from lending a helping hand to those who need it.
All I'm saying is " Lend a hand. Don't try to buy a wife "

lexy2014:
are u certain about that?has that been scientifically proven?

Has your own point also been scientifically proven?

freddywells81:


Yes..because he is the all sufficient God. Do u have sufficient money at your disposal ? We are talking about real-life situation and the fact that people change without notice which makes it more painful . if u av sufficient money u can throw around ,u'd av assisted every gfs u ever had to getting B.Sc to Phd level without even having s..ex with them

It is well.

Kaycee7:
Has your own point also been scientifically proven?

I asked a question.i didn't make any point did I?