₦airaland Forum

FemiEddy:
I am not married yet, so am not fit to give you an advice, but at least I can reason well and have seen things so this is my opinion
Firstly, Leave the lady and her husband alone, Karma always comes back to hunt it's victim, she will reap the fruit of her labour, mind ur business and give ursef peace of mind.
Secondly, ur husband, u know his weak point, maybe pounded yam, or one food, or maybe d oda room, give him a good treat, after he is calm and relaxed, confront him, just ask him why he did it, he will tell u , don't raise your voice o, u already have three kids, those are ur treasure. If you indeed love ur husband, please try, it's hard, but try for the sake of the kids
My opinion

This is the most stupid advice I have read in all my years on NL.

What do you Nigerian men take your wives for?
Robots?
Cook and have sex with a man you caught red handed cheating?

Can you have an erection after catching your wife naked with another man? No wonder we see women who strongly resent their husbands, they're just bidding time, waiting for their kids to grow.

FemiEddy:
I am not married yet, so am not fit to give you an advice, but at least I can reason well and have seen things so this is my opinion
Firstly, Leave the lady and her husband alone, Karma always comes back to hunt it's victim, she will reap the fruit of her labour, mind ur business and give ursef peace of mind.
Secondly, ur husband, u know his weak point, maybe pounded yam, or one food, or maybe d oda room, give him a good treat, after he is calm and relaxed, confront him, just ask him why he did it, he will tell u , don't raise your voice o, u already have three kids, those are ur treasure. If you indeed love ur husband, please try, it's hard, but try for the sake of the kids
My opinion

I will advise you to leave the lady, don't let her guy no abt it pls nd don't let the lady know u have her secrete, then for ur husband pls I will advice you to take it easy with him, move closer to him and pray for ur marriage God will change is mind,,,,,,my opinion

Honestly, you must be mad and I think your plan to call the guy and send the evidence would be taking your madness too far.

As for your husband, he has leant the hard way and I think you are at a critical stage now. You may soon loose his respect if you don't quickly engage in detailed discussion. I am not defending or exonerating him but after blaming himself and getting over the blame, he will not stay down in shame, he will rise up and damn you if you don't quickly engage him in a discussion and maintain communication.

pocohantas:
This is the most stupid advice I have read in all my years on NL.

What do you Nigerian men take their wives for?
Robots?
Cook and have sex with a man you caught red handed cheating?

Can you have an erection after catching your wife naked with another man? No wonder we see women who strongly resent their husbands, they're just bidding time, waiting for their kids to grow.

We know your type, your dream husband is still I. The making; yet unborn

honestwife:
Hello house,
I have been been a nairalander for many years and i just need advice because am so devasted. I got married to my husband 7years ago with 3beautiful kids ,a girl and 2 boys

My husband is that perfect men any woman would ever prayer for.i have never suspected him for once not until last year september that i saw some frequent call from a particular no, i decided to take the no and store on my own phone,,i suspected he was cheating but i did nit have any evidence to prove it.

So last month,i activated an automatic call recording on his phone and here i am, all my doubt were confirmed, i decided not to ask him as i laid down my own plans too, i took his phone and scan his whatapp QR code and i deactivated the notification so he wont know. So with this, i was able to veiw all his chat directly from my phone through this chat i saw that the lady was around at his place yesterday morning and i travelled in the eveningbecause we dont live in the same state due to transfer

i took my children to my sisters place and i travelled, looo and behold this lady was wearing only paint and bra in my husbands room although i gave both of them good dirty slap of thier life, and i told her i have details of his guy and that i was going to call and let him know the kind of girl she is

so now to cut the long story short this lady has a fiance which is planning to wed her because i got to her instagram page and facebook page and i saw that she has a very good guy at her hand thus made me sad because i dont know why she would cheat with my husband even after having a good relationship,

my decision is that am planning to call this guy through facebook call and send him all the recording and whatappbchat between her fiance and my husband

i just want to know if am making the right decision

as for my husband , he will meet me at home

First, I must commend ur IT and investigative skills. U didn't approach the matter like some market women who just rant without first getting evidence. Secondly, u don't need to go through the stress of calling the lady's guy. You are a "married" woman and so don't expose urself to insult. Your matter is big enough to ponder upon. Thirdly, I can't advise u to stay or go. All I can say is that u take ur time to think about your next step. By the way, in all of this what's ur husband's attitude at this time? Wish u all the best.

pocohantas:
This is the most stupid advice I have read in all my years on NL.

What do you Nigerian men take their wives for?
Robots?
Cook and have sex with a man you caught red handed cheating?

Can you have an erection after catching your wife naked with another man? No wonder we see women who strongly resent their husbands, they're just bidding time, waiting for their kids to grow.

with the way things are going lately i would advice her to face her husband and find out what led him to this if kids were not involved i would have told her to walk away sometimes there is really nothing you can do when your partner just decides to have a mind of their own .These days i have come to know and agree with the fact alot of people cheat for no reason (more of a crime of opportunity ) .I am a product of a broken home divorce on basis of infedility or breaking off you need to be really careful and drop your ego forgive and forget and learn that this things happen and exicst so when it comes your way you can handle it is when you expect too much from the other and it happens you get shattered with things i am seeing lately na who them catch be ASHAWO this thing happens all over the place

How did you activate the QR code to view on your phone? I need to know so I can prevent my babe from doing same. I await your response.

generationz:
Eez well
Op watch your back, be very careful the lady is capable of anything as long as you have her secrets

Things dey happen. Op this thing you have just said is nothing new under the sun, there are thousands of ladies who are engaged or in relationships screwing their best friends, CO workers, boss or some random married man.
it seems ladies cheat much more than guys these days.

There is no good person, we all have some demented, dark, part of us that is being suppress for two reasons
We are naive on how to release it or
We are scared of how society will see us.

To your topic,


What if you release the evidence and they later reconcile and get married, the thrill of revenge would have died and you'll end up looking stupid.

You shouldn't leave your husband but you can brilliantly use what you have to blackmail him and even cash out on it(maybe buying you a land or car) because at the end of the day you'll still forgive your husband at least get something from the guilty feeling while it lasts. You are a God right now, your decision can make or Mar destinies take advantage of the situation to be appeased.

You can also blackmail the lady for your silence ( if your mind reach that one), after all what's the guarantee that the fiance won't forgive her.

baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad mind!

itohanphait:
I am a married woman if i were in your shoes i would send the evidence to her fiance she needs to feel the pain she caused another woman for my husband i would give him serious wahala that if the marriage doesn't crash when ever cheating crosses his mind and he remembers what i put him true he will ask himself if it's worth it...Men cheat because they believe they can get away with it

You are also crazy and your reasoning may impede your maturity. Have you thought about the aftermath of your planned actions. What do you stand to benefit?

1) Don't say anything to the hubby.
2)Send the evidence to her fiance, trouble will surely brew there and she'll tell the cheating rat that is your husband. So he'll know that you know but will be kept off kilter because you haven't said anything. The uncertainty and guilt is mental torture for anyone in such a situation.

3)Whilst all of this is going on, be nice (no sex). He must not have an inkling of your eventual plans. He would be expecting an irate person who is angry, keep him disconcerted by not showing that you know even though he KNOWS you know.

4) Start checking out emotionally from the union. Begin to envisage the sort of life you want without him and make plans accordingly. Keep all this to yourself however long it takes to get it all sorted.

5) When the time is right and you have put all your plans in place, skedaddle.

When you are walking a path with someone and you want to turn back, you still care about the person if you tell them you are turning back. Much better when they think you are beside them all along, turn round to speak to you and discover that you are gone.

Fhowe:
with the way things are going lately i would advice her to face her husband and find out what led him to this if kids were not involved i would have told her to walk away sometimes there is really nothing you can do when your partner just decides to have a mind of their own .These days i have come to know and agree with the fact alot of people cheat for no reason (more of a crime of opportunity ) .I am a product of a broken home divorce on basis of infedility or breaking off you need to be really careful and drop your ego forgive and forget and learn that this things happen and exicst so when it comes your way you can handle it is when you expect too much from the other and it happens you get shattered with things i am seeing lately na who them catch be ASHAWO this thing happens all over the place

I would never advise her to leave her husband for cheating once, I wouldn't do that. But she is the one that's hurt here, yet someone expects her to enter hot sun, pound yam and have sex with him.

Do Nigerian men have conscience at all??

The man should be the one doing all that!!!

FemiEddy:
I am not married yet, so am not fit to give you an advice, but at least I can reason well and have seen things so this is my opinion
Firstly, Leave the lady and her husband alone, Karma always comes back to hunt it's victim, she will reap the fruit of her labour, mind ur business and give ursef peace of mind.
Secondly, ur husband, u know his weak point, maybe pounded yam, or one food, or maybe d oda room, give him a good treat, after he is calm and relaxed, confront him, just ask him why he did it, he will tell u , don't raise your voice o, u already have three kids, those are ur treasure. If you indeed love ur husband, please try, it's hard, but try for the sake of the kids
My opinion

u jst try and get a good wife when u re ready!!!! u will enjoy ur marriage life!!!! i thought guys of ma kind re few!!! mayb they re buh u re indeed thoughtful!!!!

Keep contradicting yourself. Mumu

AmoryBlacq:
life!


please report the Lady to her man, no one deserves a cheating partner!

some men are so careless, how dare you bring your mistress to your home!

Single! should I ever get engaged and decide to cheat on my partner it's going to be in a far away place, I mean if she's in Nigeria at the time I will cheat on her in Macedonia, eliminating the possibility of her ever finding out! No one deserves that pain and anguish they feel when they discover their partner is cheating!

Op I sympathize with you!

Coloradvantage:
send it to the young man! the pain now for him is better than the hell he will face later. any thing to get hard on the lady! Dont let her go free... not for one reason. no pity her at all. Dont go soft on such demons

But the husband must be forgiven, right?

If you want to be happy, be!..

But why do you chose not to?, you got evidence that he was about to cheat, (or have been cheating)_ you had a choice to sit him down and talk things straight. But you wanted to see it happen, now the trust is gone, the feeling of betrayal and disgust is what is left, and a picture of a naked Lady on your matrimonial home will remain in your mind. If you had s long plan of using the evidence to get something more, it'd okay.. But letting it play out just to confirm isn't a logical move, its an emotional one.. Ad emotions clouds reasoning.

We all came into this world alone, we will most likely part that way..., he cheated on you, it has happened, so what do u do now?.. If you can't put up with it, then leave, take the kids and enjoy the rest of ur life but if u can forgive him, see a counsellor get things sorted out and enjoy your life.. If you wish to retaliate by ruining the other lady's marriage, its fine!.. But you must realize the problem is your husband not her. It is your husband that cheated on you, not the lady..

And I've seen trust issues like this and blackmail quickly escalate into cases worse than divorce, I'm talking acid attacks and death.
So get your head straight sort this out and be happy, that's all that matters in the end, you won't take any thing else out of this world. Its the moment that matters .. Enjoy it to the fullest..

Who told you women find it easier to deal with cheating partners?

Because you people guilt and shame women into forgiving cheating husbands doesn't mean it's easier for women.
Many men that died of unknown causes died at the hands of bitter wives who would rather be widows than face the judgment of bigoted and small minded folks who judge them for leaving philandering husbands.

Acidosis:
Please do not threaten the lady with the claims that you have her dirty conversations, etc. That lady can go to any length just to save her marriage and cover her deepest secrets. Don't make yourself a victim.

Since it's easier for women to deal with cheating partners better than men, I would advise that you give your husband a second chance. Remember you already mentioned that you guys do not live in the same state. Rather than cursing, separating etc., you guys should find a way to come together and make your marriage work. You are already separated physically from your husband by virtue of your jobs, further emotional separation will turn out badly.

Besides, its 3 kids already, you and I know you won't leave your marriage, no woman will, it doesn't matter what they say online.

Lastly, who are you to call a man you barely know "a very good guy"? This is how many women run into the arms and bed of strange men thinking others are better than their husbands. Frankly, that girl's fiance might be worse! Do not be deceived, the same way you felt your husband was the best thing after slice bread only to find him cheating is the same way the other will turn out.

If you must take revenge on that lady, do so because you want to relieve yourself of the pains. Doing so because you feel "the very good guy" deserves a better woman is terrible... There's no such thing as "a very good guy", especially on Facebook.


Your husband is "a very good guy" too...



..on Facebook

claremont:
I'm guessing after indulging in this devious plan of yours, you will congratulate yourself for a job well done? You represent everything wrong with the mindset of the average Nigerian female. A man has cheated, rather than explore the reasons why the man cheated and brainstorm on how to address them, you would rather spend time seeking revenge. 2 wrongs never make a right.

Oh boy ...

Look at this one!

Are you telling me/ us to look for reasons to blame ourselves or our fellow women for an i.diot who doesn't know what marriage is all about?
You are a clown!

He took the marriage vows. For better, for worse! Until death do us part! Whatever the wife did or did not do, it does not justify adultery. Any woman who believes that she can change a cheater, will eventually self-destruct.

Stop brainwashing women to tolerate their cheating husbands. This is why in this part of the world AIDS is so rampant because you think that it is your birth right to cheat.

Women, wake up! Your husbands cheat because they CAN! Try the same and you will be send packing. Mum.us.


I mentioned in one of my first comments on this thread how people will quickly blame the wife.
Classic manipulation tactics. Doesn't work on me.

Let those with no self-esteem fall for it.

Spoken like a true retarrd

Guitarlife:
Lastly some people will argue that if the tables were turned people would have advised the ma to leave the woman . YES! I would not hesitate to advise a man to divorce his cheating wife. Its not chauvinism its simply nature . A married woman cheating has far more dangerous repercussion than a married man cheating like risk of fathering a bastard because when multiple men sleep with a woman it becomes difficult to know whom the real father of the child is also men are not as emotionally vulnerable as women.

So OP be wise.

Acidosis:
Please do not threaten the lady with the claims that you have her dirty conversations, etc. That lady can go to any length just to save her marriage and cover her deepest secrets. Don't make yourself a victim.

Since it's easier for women to deal with cheating partners better than men, I would advise that you give your husband a second chance. Remember you already mentioned that you guys do not live in the same state. Rather than cursing, separating etc., you guys should find a way to come together and make your marriage work. You are already separated physically from your husband by virtue of your jobs, further emotional separation will turn out badly.

Besides, its 3 kids already, you and I know you won't leave your marriage, no woman will, it doesn't matter what they say online.

Lastly, who are you to call a man you barely know "a very good guy"? This is how many women run into the arms and bed of strange men thinking others are better than their husbands. Frankly, that girl's fiance might be worse! Do not be deceived, the same way you felt your husband was the best thing after slice bread only to find him cheating is the same way the other will turn out.

If you must take revenge on that lady, do so because you want to relieve yourself of the pains. Doing so because you feel "the very good guy" deserves a better woman is terrible... There's no such thing as "a very good guy", especially on Facebook.


Your husband is "a very good guy" too...



..on Facebook

the very best advice..U ve said it ooo.
The Good guy and the good girl has lead so many astray..There is no sch like the above!!!

Interesting How everyone is like 'report her to her fiancé. No one deserves a cheating spouse'

At the same time don't punish your husband. Pamper him. Bla bla bla

May hypocrisy not kill all of you.

Dimwit

donteddy:
if women can channel this type of FBI work into building there homes. Then no cause for cheating from there husband
Whatever you are looking for is what u will get. Going through phones,chats and even stalking man is not really advisable if he is not failing in his duties as your husband at home.
Madam settle with your husband pray for him and give him reasons that he is only meant for u also learn to ignore some things if you dont want to die young because every avarage man cheats.

Daeylar:
Irritating men, look at the silly advice one tried to give, give your cheating husband a good treat, don't raise your voice,
men should leave cheating wives

I'm tired of reading this type of trash, I'm tired
Let misogyny not kill Nigerian men one day

I can understand why men do it. It is comfortable. They can eat their cake and have it. I blame my fellow women who fall for it. Mumu.s with no self-esteem. The day they cheat, they will be send packing but if their husbands cheat , they will go after the mistress, fast, pray and buy red underwear.

Chairman of the foolish ones

Toks2008:
Shebbi when I write threads about this,all the naira land teenagers and naive ones will rant and curse me even those who have no clue of what marriage is all about.

OK let me give you the regular stupid advice.LEAVE HIM AND DIVORCE HIM IMMEDIATELY.

My threads will advice you so go check up the one with titles

"Before you divorce your adulterous husband"

"Don't marry if you are not ready for this one thing"

"This is for every lady who wants to experience a happy marriage"

These 3 should help.

Disgusting hypocrisy is ingrained in them.

Daeylar:
Irritating men, look at the silly advice one tried to give, give your cheating husband a good treat, don't raise your voice,
men should leave cheating wives

I'm tired of reading this type of trash, I'm tired
Let misogyny not kill Nigerian men one day

How you don't find yourself and personality disgusting amazes me.

Toks2008:
A trillion likes for this...exactly what I tell ladies

You don't even need to leave him for the sake of the children,just switch off your mind and be happy.

Ladies will be shouting "he created on me" as if there are no better things in life.

And talking about beauty please don't be naive,nO matter how sexy you are,your man can still cheat on you with a dirty maid...the best bet is the mindset you have

Guitarlife:
You lack manners.
You need to learn how to talk without insults.

My assertion clearly stated that women having multiple sexual partners leaves the option of fathering a bastard open which is not same for men having multiple sexual partners. Your brain should have told you thats the reason your own culture supports polygamy but frowns at polyandry.

And yes, DNA test is not 100percent fool proof. And how many people can afford DNA test ?

You can cry blue murder. Even your traditional kings can have as many wives as they desire with the said wives not afforded the same right. Some even marry with an age gap of 30years , 40 years.

Classic bull.sh.it that I expected when I saw this thread.

Tell the same sh.it to all the wives whose husbands infected them with STDs and all the kids who grow up without a father because their fathers impregnated women all over the place.

And tell the traditional kings to fvck themselves.

cezarman:
You're a foool. Your brain is obviously filled with a mad dog's shiit. I can only insult you because to have a logical argument with you would be a waste of time.
So, you're very very stuupid. Na thunder go kee you at last. slowpoke. Wretched, brainless bastaard.
Your fada there... Go and report me, you mad monkey. You don't deserve to be alive because you're just occupying space.

Hahahahaha! Oga you dey para oh

Well Mr Man your opinion is very wrong.What do mean prepare pounded yam bla bla bla.You even suggested she have sex with a cheat haba.Do you know if he is already infected?And she shouldn't raise her voice hmmm nah wa oo.Why shouldn't she raise her voice?If the table was turned would he act in like manner?Would he buy her gifts,have sex with her and calmly ask her why she cheated?Mr Man,if this lady was your sister or daughter would you give the same advise?What do you mean leave the lady alone,mind your business,blah blah blah.Won't you be grateful if you are about to wed a prostitute and God saves you miraculously.Tell us!!@FemiEddy

cococandy:
How you don't find yourself and personality disgusting amazes me.

Honey why not just PM me and let's get closer rather than pick on me unecessarily.

For Petes sake,it was a lady like you that made the comment I seconded so why not channel your savagery towards her.

OK you got my attention and I must say you are hot but just negodu.

Wallade:
We know your type, your dream husband is still I. The making; yet unborn

Most Nigerian men are very stupid and wicked.Rubbish