My brother, your family is your family. Let no woman bring sadness into your family. I think you should look at her family background. I know at a period of preparations like this so many things happen, but one needs to be careful. I have a friend whose uncle called off his wedding 2 days to the wedding because the wife to be insulted his sister when they were deciding whether to cook jollof rice than fried rice but the bride insisted on more fried and from there abused the husband's sister. The man could no longer tolerate the woman's hatred and bad attitude towards his family because the woman had several occasions promised to change but refused.

U hv nt c ur own wife how can a woman hate her husband family cum to think of it if u gv birth she will tell u dat u should nt let ur mother cum n if she she may kill her but she always love to c her own family around u abi

robosky02:

how are you

I'm good, you?

You are only a child going in to marriage, a woman who does not love ur family does not love you either. You can say they were once my friends and she was once my wife but you can never they were once my family or once my sisters. You can never manage marriage, imagine you even did traditional when you know the love is not there.

omo make you get sence abeg

U re right some tin like dat happen here too is better to call off d married now den bring problem to one self

TinaTee:
My brother, your family is your family. Let no woman bring sadness into your family. I think you should look at her family background. I know at a period of preparations like this so many things happen, but one needs to be careful. I have a friend whose uncle called off his wedding 2 days to the wedding because the wife to be insulted his sister when they were deciding whether to cook jollof rice than fried rice but the bride insisted on more fried and from there abused the husband's sister. The man could no longer tolerate the woman's hatred and bad attitude towards his family because the woman had several occasions promised to change but refused.

Wonders

Me I dey available o with plenty love.... Bro its good you detect this now may God direct u

obayaya:
I repeat, the wife doesn't hate the family.

I read the scenario the OP painted in the later post. From what he wrote, all I can adduce from that is the wife has some sort of inferiority complex.

She feels the OP is a lot closer to the sisters than herself. And it's a completely normal scenario you see everyday amongst women.

You guys are trying to blow it out of proportion. This is something a simple discourse will handle.

The Wife loves OP right? Is it possible for one to love someone and hate the person's family? I think not.

Ah ok. Has the wife told you she loves the guy/husband? No problem. You are entitled to your own opinion. I pray you or your brothers marry a wife like her.... Then you can come and share your own experiences here.

mabea:
Please dont be naive. With this assertion of yours you will only end up pushing the op to his doom. This lady does not love the op let alone his family. I had a similar experience which i've shared already.

Thank you, o! Our elders say "a word is enough for the wise."

Ashley86400:


The last time I checked, this forum is open to all kind of comments- freedom of speech,views and opinions.
Mind your business and move along. .

I'm just saying everyone reads this forum and general statements without a general poll or statistical data is misleading to the next generation you may hate your mother in law not every woman does that's all

Women are conditioned to love anything of the opposite is more individual

I think u ave to sit ur wife down with ur sisters and bring out diz issue and settle it amicably if there is any rift between them... How can ur wife hates all ur family members, its disgusting menh...better settle it now b4 the real wedding or u call it off instead of disassociate ursef from ur famz member, remember famz over everything

solasoulmusic:


I'm just saying everyone reads this forum and general statements without a general poll or statistical data is misleading to the next generation you may hate your mother in law not every woman does that's all

Women are conditioned to love anything of the opposite is more individual

..

Oyindidi:
I'm good, you?

very well
hope you had a good nite rest

Pidgin2:


CC: amlifted be careful, is this the type of person you want to receive advice from? Hope you are mature enough to read through your thread and pick the best advice, nairaland is full of inexperienced people

What did i say wrong now?

robosky02:


very well
hope you had a good nite rest

Yes I did, you?

bluetrails7:


Women are conditioned to love, how true is this? I see loveless women upandan everywhere i go thesedays, the love in my heart is growing stale/cold....I disbelieve you

I was raised with close family and that's the golden truth its really individual experience that changes people or alters their behavior as they grow

It's the Women you are attracting sometimes heavy makeup hides a lot and also exposing ones body too shows too that they don't value the intimacy a couple really shares like reserving your body for one view only

Even if your raised with people that are like wolves who attack you love them that's what I was taught

I've seen women embarrassed torn apart but still stand with a man till his dying day because that's what they vowed

Classes and levels dey untop women you either upgrade or keep it smooth with your downgrade but don't speak for all

amliftedhigher:
Good morning wonderful nairalanders.

I Am having a very delicate family issues now. I am an only son of my family and 5 sisters all married, since I brought my wife to be to them they all love her with passion and they keep telling me to take good care of the girl, they keep warning me not to treat her bad.

My sister love my Wife with passion including my aged mother but my wife to be in return hates them openly to me.

She doesn't like me mention them before her or discuss any thing with them. But she adores her family so much. We have finished traditional marriage remaining church wedding which is next two weeks from today.

During our preparations my family has noticed her long mute with them in issues of our wedding arrangement, they ask me but I told them that my wife is a shy type that doesn't talk too much but I was lying.

N/B they have not done anything evil to her and they will not think about it because they all fear me but my confusion Now is why my wife hates them? One of my sister lives in the same city with my wife but she hardly visits her.

My fellow comrades please what do I do? I can't hate my sisters because they and their husbands train me in the university . I came from a poor home but seeing the love I have for education all My sisters and their husbands swear that I must attend university . My God's grace I am working in one of the best organization in the country now am comfortable. Do I chase my family away now because of a woman I am getting married to? Help am confused.

Thanks in anticipation

Please settle all this before your wedding, if you don't want to end up a divorcee, if she no like them now, she won't like them forever. See the pastor of the church where the wedding is taking place and let him be involved, also let her commit herself to the fact that "your people will be her people for life "and nothing less see your siblings and mum you is all you've got for now oh, and you can't push them away in the name of" marriage " the journey is far oh. Bros Abeg reason this matter well well

[quote author=solasoulmusic post=60443499]

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bluetrails7:





Excellent ideology @ people change thru individual ideology. While approaching adulthood, i told myself my time on earth was finite, and if i needed personal experiences to get insights, then i would die just a few I.Q. higher than the state i was then, how about learning outside individual ideologies ? How about looking at the people ahead, i.e. the genration ahead, look at their flaws and then strive to improve and create a better life, make better decisions and judgements ?

Lol @ attracting women, the door to my heart is intelligence and good character ma, not body parts, trust me. Women don't easily attract my attention, i don't look at many/most women more than once/twice.

You raise an excellent point Live by example but my dear back then there wasn't Instagram hotties and karashikas of progress everyone generally wasn't as envious of true love

I never ask for anything just real love

Yelutide:
Shut up and thing with your brain. Is that the characteristics of inferiority complex? Go back to school and learn what inferiority complex mean. Call off the wedding or regret it. She is a green snake, under the green grass and eating the green grass.

Hehehehe.... I no know say you sef see am. I was reading his response and shaking my head in shock. Despite everything the OP has said, he is still advising him to go ahead with the wedding??! I laugh in Greek!

I doubt if the lady truly loves you, because if she does, she will likewise love everyone that have being of immense importance to your present condition. she will even be highly grateful to them, she would always prefer her family though but she wont make it obvious that she hates your people. I guess your wife's family background before now was far better than yours so she feels superior. Talk it over with her and probably with someone she listens to and let her know that she will never enjoy this marriage the way she is going about your family and you want her to do the needful or her family will stand the same chance of receiving same treatment from you. And you on your own, pretend to hate her people too and show it actively to them so that she too will be the one to be looking for solution instead of you, by then you let her feel how you have been feeling. Do all these when every other avenue to talk it over has failed.

solasoulmusic:


You raise an excellent point Live by example but my dear back then there wasn't Instagram hotties and karashikas of progress everyone generally wasn't as envious of true love

I never ask for anything just real love

...

Don't be decieved or carried away with love. Use your brain, I'm a married woman but my dear, family is family. NO MARRY WITH FIRE ON YOUR ROOF TOP.

bluetrails7:



Love will soon be sold as recharge card soon..It's becoming stale, the love in many hearts is growing stale

It's never for sale and sorry you lost faith in it it exists you just gotta find that one worth changing for

A Complete 360 of who you Used to be but it stays forever

How do you do? You just got everyone almost bursting an artery. Not very nice. Hola 0.8.0.9.3.7.0.9.1.7.7. And remain blessed!

NoToPile:
I never said she's pushing the OP to be a man, based on the info he gave its not hate, its just power play.

And the irony of it is that most men never know.

It is more than power play. She gets angry every time he talks to his family on the phone, she badmouths his sisters in his presence (behind their backs, o!) like she did over the 400k vs 280k issue, she does not visit his sister even though they are in the same town etc. Trust me, her issues are deep-rooted, and with her current attitude she would eventually drive a huge wedge between the man and his entire family.

Any woman who truly loves a man, would care about the same issues he cares for. A wise woman tries to build acceptance and understanding for herself among her in-laws, not tear down their relationship, by creating problems that do not need to exist. She already harbours so much resentment against her in-laws in her heart. It is only a matter of time, before she insults them openly to their faces.

solasoulmusic:


It's never for sale and sorry you lost faith in it it exists you just gotta find that one worth changing for

A Complete 360 of who you Used to be but it stays forever

...

bluetrails7:


Lol, met this amazing lady i like but the ups and downs of relationships, is this how you guys cope? Chai, even hustling is easier..Wished i could make it a smooth ride...Funny, life is bent itself...

Focus on staying up and not what brought you down you will find guys leave traces of distrust when offended same as women but we are more emotional a rant is a rant allow but always move forward with love no curses etc

amliftedhigher:
A little of what transpired between us two days ago. In one of the people we want to use for our wedding, the person she recommended charge a huge amount of money which I can not pay, then I contacted my sisters to look for other person's we can use lo and behold they found people with a big difference in price variations so I decide to settle with the ones my sister recommended hence they will render same quality of services. Immediately I told her the latest, she started grumbling and saying that my sisters are controlling me that they can't come to her own family and decides what happens, I was shocked to hear that again after I caution her some months back for using this same language. My brethren 400k and 280k are they same thing? This is just a tip of her yelling about my sisters. My sisters don't know about this oh now, as am writing now my elder sister called me now and was telling me to make sure that I give My wife money to select a good wedding gown . They even told me last time that I should make sure I buy car for her before she born her first child to lessen the stress of her carrying a child in Keke or bike or Taxi. What do we call this?

Now I understand. You are turning your decisions into a tripartite thing. When you get married it's you ND your wife. She has to feel her place as the madam of the house..
It's your fault. You are causing this resentment. You should not have told her let me ask my sisters. My sisters this my sisters that.... It makes you look like a man being controlled by his sisters.

When you receive advice from your sis your wife doesn't have to know the source. Put yourself in her shoes. If she tells you let me ask my brother or let me ask my daddy. My daddy said this, my brother said that. They should not be players in your marriage. Manage it well and put her at a pedestal, let her feel she is in control of her own territory.

As for visits, people are different. I have 6 sisters in law from both sides. I have only spoken to some once this year. But I would do anything I can for them and go out of my way for them when the need arises. I feel I should not interfere with their affairs. My husband even says I love his family more than him sef.

solasoulmusic:
I was raised with close family and that's the golden truth its really individual experience that changes people or alters their behavior as they grow

It's the Women you are attracting sometimes heavy makeup hides a lot and also exposing ones body too shows too that they don't value the intimacy a couple really shares like reserving your body for one view only

Even if your raised with people that are like wolves who attack you, love them that's what I was taught

I've seen women embarrassed torn apart but still stand with a man till his dying day because that's what they vowed

Classes and levels dey untop women you either upgrade or keep it smooth with your downgrade but don't speak for all

Wow! You are a woman blessed with great wisdom. I pray God blesses you richly with all the happiness you deserve!

@Amliftedhigher
As am reading dis. Still on page 2 but d ifs coming to my mind are:
Is she feeling insecured nd being paranoid?
Is it her birth position maybe she is d firat born nd likes her decision to be d final?
Or could it be that someone somewhere or her family member has told her not to let her guard down because her husband is d only man in d family?
Talk to her .
Like someone said , hope she wont turn you into a victim later if she doesnt want to see ur family. Nd u r on ur own, she will feel she can treat u anyhow.i hate men who fall victim to these kind of women.
They talk of women abuse forgetting dt lots of men are going thru emotional abuse or some other form of abuse
Toksbisola raised valid points too

The sister that advises you to buy a car for her, does she have a car herself? They advised you to treat her well? Do they not trust your love for her? They sent you to the university but mine of them went. I see what you people do not see. Your wife to be had read through them and knows that their love for her is not sincere. They are acting nice just to find favour from your marriage with her and you won't forget them. It is hard to marry an only son who is also the wealthiest and most educated. The live they are showing is fake. If they met her only once, why do they love her? They just want to be close to your marriage and make sure they remain in your life completely.

solasoulmusic:


Focus on staying up and not what brought you down you will find guys leave traces of distrust when offended same as women but we are more emotional a rant is a rant allow but always move forward with love no curses etc

...