₦airaland Forum

aiyele200:
Hi Nlanders,

Good morning and happy weekend. I am posting this due to the fact that my patience and understanding is being taken for granted by my wife. 6 years already into this marriage, disobedience and unfaithfulness in terms of not being straightforward with me has been the order of the marriage, though a times, the woman changes for good, then later she starts again.

One sunday afternoon after returning back from church, she quickly rushed to me saying she wanted to go and drop her sister at the hospital since the first malaria treatment she had didnt work. I asked where the hospital is, said somewhere in gbagada, knowing fully well that my wife does not know gbagada well, and knowing well also that she was going with the kids, I volunteered to drop them off, but she kept mute, and her body language showed that she didnt want me to drop them off. So I said, plz be careful, gave her money to branch at the filling station to top up the fuel in the car.

On their way going, I got hungry cos lunch was not prepared b4 they left, I decided to rush down to the nearest eatery to get sumtin to eat, on entering my own car, figured out my fuel was low, so I decided to go to the filling station. On getting there, I was packed at my wife's car, she was actually standing beside the passenger side which is weird, cos she was the one that drove off, I looked at the drivers side, and I could see a man's head. So my wife came to meet me, said she just paid for fuel, they are leaving now, at that time, I was expecting her to at least explain who the person at the drivers seat was, with my kids in the car oooo!!! She just went straight to the passenger side and closed the door. I was really stunned and surprised.

I pressed the horn for her to come down, soon as she came down, she immediately said, oh i forgot to ask you if it was ok for Segun to drop us at the hospital, I was like why, she said because he seems to know the place. Funny thing is, this guy I have never met before, but she has told me about him b4 and I know him as the guy that loans she and her sister money when urgent funds are needed. So she called the dude down from the car, introduced him proper and I asked them to leave. A lot of people will sure blame me for allowing someone I dont really know to drive my family to a location, but at that moment I was still stunned because to me it was the highest level of mistrust and disappointment, so I could not take a drastic move @ that moment. They left, and the same guy dropped them off.

That night, I called my wife and sat her down, that I need an explanation on how the whole scene played out, cos I volunteered to go and drop you guys, u didnt answer me, and all of a sudden, I am seeing another man whether known or unknown person in the car with my kids without u telling me b4 u left the house that someone was going to drive u guys. She responded saying, to be sincere, they had plans seeing the guy at the bus stop to discuss loan, but she decided to have the guy drive them since he knows the hospital and since he is a man. I was like fine, but when u came to meet me, I thought u were supposed to tell me who was in the car, instead u walked off, she said actually I forgot, that it was the moment that u pressed the horn that I realized I was suppose to ask u if it was ok for segun to drive us. Oh well, they say communication is key in marriages, I will not say she was lying, thought I know something dont add up, so I moved on.

But the damn thing that really got me worried was that, few days to that very day, I noticed her being worried and soliloquizing, asked her what the problem is, claimed that its the money she lent last from the segun guy which she has not been able to pay is what is worrying her, that the dude has been askeing her for the money since it has elapsed the paying time. With that alone, it gave me a worrying thought that, it was the same guy that I ended up seeing on code @ d filling station driving my family off.

Nlanders, sorry for the long epistle, if I dont explain well, you guys wont understand in details, for the married guys and ladies, whats your take on this issue? Does something really isnt adding up?

Thanks!

Foolish man! I can promise you that one of the kids isn't yours. You've been cuckolded. Save up for dna tests and kick that bitch to the Boulevard where segun lives. Then maybe you can learn about women before getting involved with one.

Someone needs an advice and here you are insulting him. O di Egwu oooo

manmidtexy:
You are the biggest fool in this world

From ur explanation,u ar a made man.why did you allow ur wife to borrow.are u not aware that she borrowed the money?

No offence meant I only pray and hope that payment does not also include in kind

I think you need to do some more investigation before you jump to conclusions

JeffreyJamez:
What I'm trying to understand is why your wife is collecting loan from another man when you're still alive? Explain that part first.

God will bless you for such intelligence. Marriage isn't just about having little naira notes, a car , a house et al. It's about maturity all round, intelligence and wisdom, reasons why it isn't for the teens.

No connection between your wife borrowing money without you being in the picture of all happenings , WHAT. Hope she didn't borrow to buy the car or live large as most so called "educated" folks do.

Just short of words. The the idiotically foolish nymphs man, driving another man's wife with his kids is the height of absurdity and irresponsibility.

Sorry to say, there are so many things parading themselves as wives, who are not wives but call girls.

aiyele200:
Hi Nlanders,

Good morning and happy weekend. I am posting this due to the fact that my patience and understanding is being taken for granted by my wife. 6 years already into this marriage, disobedience and unfaithfulness in terms of not being straightforward with me has been the order of the marriage, though a times, the woman changes for good, then later she starts again.

Q

One sunday afternoon after returning back from church, she quickly rushed to me saying she wanted to go and drop her sister at the hospital since the first malaria treatment she had didnt work. I asked where the hospital is, said somewhere in gbagada, knowing fully well that my wife does not know gbagada well, and knowing well also that she was going with the kids, I volunteered to drop them off, but she kept mute, and her body language showed that she didnt want me to drop them off. So I said, plz be careful, gave her money to branch at the filling station to top up the fuel in the car.

On their way going, I got hungry cos lunch was not prepared b4 they left, I decided to rush down to the nearest eatery to get sumtin to eat, on entering my own car, figured out my fuel was low, so I decided to go to the filling station. On getting there, I was packed at my wife's car, she was actually standing beside the passenger side which is weird, cos she was the one that drove off, I looked at the drivers side, and I could see a man's head. So my wife came to meet me, said she just paid for fuel, they are leaving now, at that time, I was expecting her to at least explain who the person at the drivers seat was, with my kids in the car oooo!!! She just went straight to the passenger side and closed the door. I was really stunned and surprised.

I pressed the horn for her to come down, soon as she came down, she immediately said, oh i forgot to ask you if it was ok for Segun to drop us at the hospital, I was like why, she said because he seems to know the place. Funny thing is, this guy I have never met before, but she has told me about him b4 and I know him as the guy that loans she and her sister money when urgent funds are needed. So she called the dude down from the car, introduced him proper and I asked them to leave. A lot of people will sure blame me for allowing someone I dont really know to drive my family to a location, but at that moment I was still stunned because to me it was the highest level of mistrust and disappointment, so I could not take a drastic move @ that moment. They left, and the same guy dropped them off.

That night, I called my wife and sat her down, that I need an explanation on how the whole scene played out, cos I volunteered to go and drop you guys, u didnt answer me, and all of a sudden, I am seeing another man whether known or unknown person in the car with my kids without u telling me b4 u left the house that someone was going to drive u guys. She responded saying, to be sincere, they had plans seeing the guy at the bus stop to discuss loan, but she decided to have the guy drive them since he knows the hospital and since he is a man. I was like fine, but when u came to meet me, I thought u were supposed to tell me who was in the car, instead u walked off, she said actually I forgot, that it was the moment that u pressed the horn that I realized I was suppose to ask u if it was ok for segun to drive us. Oh well, they say communication is key in marriages, I will not say she was lying, thought I know something dont add up, so I moved on.

But the damn thing that really got me worried was that, few days to that very day, I noticed her being worried and soliloquizing, asked her what the problem is, claimed that its the money she lent last from the segun guy which she has not been able to pay is what is worrying her, that the dude has been askeing her for the money since it has elapsed the paying time. With that alone, it gave me a worrying thought that, it was the same guy that I ended up seeing on code @ d filling station driving my family off.

Nlanders, sorry for the long epistle, if I dont explain well, you guys wont understand in details, for the married guys and ladies, whats your take on this issue? Does something really isnt adding up?

Thanks!

1.why is your wife taking loan when you are still their or is it that you too are not financially stable.
2.what business is your wife doing that she needs loan from somebody other than you.
3.If you think that she is cheating on you than arent you responsible for it think about it because you are not able to provide for her needs she has found alternative source.
Remaining advice after you answer first two questions

aiyele200:
Hi Nlanders,

Good morning and happy weekend. I am posting this due to the fact that my patience and understanding is being taken for granted by my wife. 6 years already into this marriage, disobedience and unfaithfulness in terms of not being straightforward with me has been the order of the marriage, though a times, the woman changes for good, then later she starts again.

One sunday afternoon after returning back from church, she quickly rushed to me saying she wanted to go and drop her sister at the hospital since the first malaria treatment she had didnt work. I asked where the hospital is, said somewhere in gbagada, knowing fully well that my wife does not know gbagada well, and knowing well also that she was going with the kids, I volunteered to drop them off, but she kept mute, and her body language showed that she didnt want me to drop them off. So I said, plz be careful, gave her money to branch at the filling station to top up the fuel in the car.

On their way going, I got hungry cos lunch was not prepared b4 they left, I decided to rush down to the nearest eatery to get sumtin to eat, on entering my own car, figured out my fuel was low, so I decided to go to the filling station. On getting there, I was packed at my wife's car, she was actually standing beside the passenger side which is weird, cos she was the one that drove off, I looked at the drivers side, and I could see a man's head. So my wife came to meet me, said she just paid for fuel, they are leaving now, at that time, I was expecting her to at least explain who the person at the drivers seat was, with my kids in the car oooo!!! She just went straight to the passenger side and closed the door. I was really stunned and surprised.

I pressed the horn for her to come down, soon as she came down, she immediately said, oh i forgot to ask you if it was ok for Segun to drop us at the hospital, I was like why, she said because he seems to know the place. Funny thing is, this guy I have never met before, but she has told me about him b4 and I know him as the guy that loans she and her sister money when urgent funds are needed. So she called the dude down from the car, introduced him proper and I asked them to leave. A lot of people will sure blame me for allowing someone I dont really know to drive my family to a location, but at that moment I was still stunned because to me it was the highest level of mistrust and disappointment, so I could not take a drastic move @ that moment. They left, and the same guy dropped them off.

That night, I called my wife and sat her down, that I need an explanation on how the whole scene played out, cos I volunteered to go and drop you guys, u didnt answer me, and all of a sudden, I am seeing another man whether known or unknown person in the car with my kids without u telling me b4 u left the house that someone was going to drive u guys. She responded saying, to be sincere, they had plans seeing the guy at the bus stop to discuss loan, but she decided to have the guy drive them since he knows the hospital and since he is a man. I was like fine, but when u came to meet me, I thought u were supposed to tell me who was in the car, instead u walked off, she said actually I forgot, that it was the moment that u pressed the horn that I realized I was suppose to ask u if it was ok for segun to drive us. Oh well, they say communication is key in marriages, I will not say she was lying, thought I know something dont add up, so I moved on.

But the damn thing that really got me worried was that, few days to that very day, I noticed her being worried and soliloquizing, asked her what the problem is, claimed that its the money she lent last from the segun guy which she has not been able to pay is what is worrying her, that the dude has been askeing her for the money since it has elapsed the paying time. With that alone, it gave me a worrying thought that, it was the same guy that I ended up seeing on code @ d filling station driving my family off.

Nlanders, sorry for the long epistle, if I dont explain well, you guys wont understand in details, for the married guys and ladies, whats your take on this issue? Does something really isnt adding up?

Thanks!

Ur a modern day idiot Sir.

PaperLace:
Who is Segun?
Why is your wife so disrespectful and dishonest?
Why did you entrust money to a financially irresponsible woman?
Who introduced the other to Segun? Your wife or her sister?

Have this in mind:
1. Segun that had the guts to drive another man's wife and kids, wouldn't hesitate to sleep with her.
2. When she went borrowing from Segun (without your consent), you lost a good percentage of your respect before Segun.
2b. The moment she drove off with Segun,you lost whatever was left of your respect in (2a).
2c. If Segun had any single fear, he would come down from that car to greet you! Even if it's fake!
2d. Segun is now feeling important. Don't try that nonsense of letting such slide in the name of modern husband.
3. Get back some of your respect by ensuring she severes further ties with Segun. If she continues talking with Segun after all that happened. Segun will crown you President of dormant husbands.

When you start hiding things from your spouse, cheating is very close by. Transparency in marriage activates your conscience, making it difficult for you to do things you won't be proud of.

I wouldn't trust such a wife. Talk to her.

She may not be cheating yet, but the road to adultery is paved with good intentions.

I concur hook, line and sinker!

It's her boyfriend, let's just be honest... move on..

From ur explanation,u ar a made man.why did you allow ur wife to borrow.are u not aware that she borrowed the money?

There is absolutely nothing wrong in allowing your wife to borrow money, as long as it teaches her accountability and also to borrow comes with an obligation to pay back!!! It also affords you the opportunity to guide her when you feel it is getting way over board or will ultimately impact on the family.

She could also go ahead and borrw the money without your knowledge then what
The story of the Edobors where the woman was owing as much as 25 million without the husbands knowledge. She refused for her business transactions to be audited for a couple of years...Hmmm

Take charge of your family, for me you are not in charge. Be the man you are supposed to be, Pay all the necessary bills, love your wife even with her faults because nobody is perfect and be strict when necessary. For me I will not allow a guy drive my family in my car without my prior consent especially when am available. Expect if the car is not mine.

I understand how u feel sir. Have u tried asking your kids where mummy took them to that day?
Did mummy took excuse and went to a private place with uncle Segun?
How often does uncle begun see mummy when daddy is not around?
Also, why did she have to borrow money from the guy anyways? I gave my wife a stern warning about borrowing money from guys.

I think you should take cue.

Don't be in a haste to conclude things. Nothing happens for nothing, but you have to carefully handle it with care.

It could be that your wife is into an emotional relationship. Though infidelity starts like that, but do your best to win her back with love and care.

Get to know the state of her business, find out how it's faring and how the need for loan comes in. If it's something you can make up, stop your wife from collecting.

But my candid advice is dialogue, not outright accusations. Also pray about it, devil is after marriages these days

I was really moved and close to tears after reading your post.

You seem to me like a jelly fish,it's glaring that your wife is not being truthful to you regarding somethings.I weep for men like you because you sounded like a good man and husband from your post.What I do not understand is whether you are a lover man or a coward that you cannot strike the blade on the edge.You need to let your wife know that she has betrayed the trust you have in her.I am not insinuating anything but you don't have to wait till the young man in question start sharing your matrimonial bed with you before you take action.

You do not need to be confrontational or violent,just lay down the rules,no more loans from anyone without your knowledge.If you must know,she doesn't respect you at all.Can you just be a man and earn your respect by being firm?You do not need to be violent to be a man,just let your stand be known to her.

Do you even know her too well before marriage?I think I should just stop here,God wanted you to see what's been happening with your very eyes that's why you witnessed that with your very eyes.Shalom!

women

aiyele200:
To be sincere, i invested so much money in both of her businesses, the problem is that she does not know how to manage funds, very wasteful and uncountable for her spendings, and yet does not bring anything to the table in the family. I pay full rent, school fees, feeding and all. Thats why I even got worried after all investment, she is still lending money.

No disrespect mr hubby,u sound NAÏVE to me. U're too diplomatic and too easy going and ur wife knows it. There are no consequences on ur part 2wards her 4 her actions. She's wasteful,what DRASTIC measures are u putting in place 2 tackle that? Don't be shocked if ur wife paid the debt back in kind. I no dey like 2c stories wey dey portray men as weak as urself.

Chubhie:
Perish the thoughts about her cheating. Try and repay the loans then ask your wife to severe further business dealings with segun.

If she adheres without blinking an eye then all is presumably well but if not, find that thing uniting them.

Somehow the thoughts of segun is unsettling to you? honestly ask yourself why and then deal with it.

segun could be a nice harmless guy you know?

And the wife could be capitalising on his easy-going nature and segun might be straffing her too,u know?

emilyone:
@ poster are you sure you fkcing your wife enough?

Is that a genuine reason to cheat?
What type of dumb ladies do we have these days.

aiyele200:
To be sincere, i invested so much money in both of her businesses, the problem is that she does not know how to manage funds, very wasteful and uncountable for her spendings, and yet does not bring anything to the table in the family. I pay full rent, school fees, feeding and all. Thats why I even got worried after all investment, she is still lending money.

I am not yet married. So I have little advice to give. However, I will suggest you run her business like a partnership. That's is, you see your self as an investor. Instead of given her the money. Let her know you are investing to stablize her business. In return she pays you a return.

I doubt if u re the real father of ur claimed children,

JeffreyJamez:
What I'm trying to understand is why your wife is collecting loan from another man when you're still alive? Explain that part first.

nothing beats this comment. OP o ya Coman explain

aiyele200:
To be sincere, i invested so much money in both of her businesses, the problem is that she does not know how to manage funds, very wasteful and uncountable for her spendings, and yet does not bring anything to the table in the family. I pay full rent, school fees, feeding and all. Thats why I even got worried after all investment, she is still lending money.

First check if the children are yours. Then check if your wife is yours. She may have been dating Segun before you guyz got married. Then you can start making your decisions.

aiyele200:
Hi .

Nlanders, sorry for the long epistle, if I dont explain well, you guys wont understand in details, for the married guys and ladies, whats your take on this issue? Does something really isnt adding up?

Thanks!

dear OP,
first I would like to congratulate you on your maturity and patience.
Then I will spank you for not thinking we'll.

1. I pay full bills and set up business for my wife, I should monitor her business until I am convinced it's stable, you didn't do that.
the essence of establishing the business is to make her responsible, but you achieved the opposite because of your non-challant attitude.

2. You knew your wife was taking loan, not once but multiple times, even with her sister who possibly reside with you, but you don't care to know why she is taking the loan and how it is used. More painfully, you didn't bother to know who is lending her the money and the conditions attached, do you think that if any negative thing result from the business you will be left entirely out? no. probably, you don't even know what she used as collateral. it could be the car you bought for her or your house or any other properties.
You are not even certain that's the only person she took a loan from... be ready.

3. she showed you signs that she was bothered, and told you she was in debt, but you did nothing, probably said nothing or asked her to sort herself out without proper guidance, now she is doing that and you are bothered?

4. she was taking the sister to hospital, and said she met the man at the bus stop to discuss another loan, are you sure it isn't for the hospital bills? because you only mentioned you gave her money for petrol only.

5. she took the kids along when you didn't have plans of going out initially, are you sure you do spend time with them? maybe she has gotten used to being driven by someone else, and the kids might have been finding solace in the hands of another man. to you he is a stranger, to them he maybe more than a stranger. if your kids can think and talk clearly, talk to them, they will tell you what you want to hear.

in summary, you failed to be the man in many cases. It's not about the money, it's about commitment to standards. Go back and check yourself and your relationship with your wife first.

I see her character as reasonal
that's why she is able to change some of the times

1121:
in addition to that question. Why is ur family using two cars while u are running on debt? You should have sold one car to reduce the financial pressure and prevent borrowing. When u stabilize, then u acquire another car

He never said they are running on debt, it's the wife that keeps borrowing money.
The husband even paid the money immediately he learnt his wife borrowed it, if u read the thread all carefully he answered that.

aiyele200:
Hi Nlanders,

Good morning and happy weekend. I am posting this due to the fact that my patience and understanding is being taken for granted by my wife. 6 years already into this marriage, disobedience and unfaithfulness in terms of not being straightforward with me has been the order of the marriage, though a times, the woman changes for good, then later she starts again.

One sunday afternoon after returning back from church, she quickly rushed to me saying she wanted to go and drop her sister at the hospital since the first malaria treatment she had didnt work. I asked where the hospital is, said somewhere in gbagada, knowing fully well that my wife does not know gbagada well, and knowing well also that she was going with the kids, I volunteered to drop them off, but she kept mute, and her body language showed that she didnt want me to drop them off. So I said, plz be careful, gave her money to branch at the filling station to top up the fuel in the car.

On their way going, I got hungry cos lunch was not prepared b4 they left, I decided to rush down to the nearest eatery to get sumtin to eat, on entering my own car, figured out my fuel was low, so I decided to go to the filling station. On getting there, I was packed at my wife's car, she was actually standing beside the passenger side which is weird, cos she was the one that drove off, I looked at the drivers side, and I could see a man's head. So my wife came to meet me, said she just paid for fuel, they are leaving now, at that time, I was expecting her to at least explain who the person at the drivers seat was, with my kids in the car oooo!!! She just went straight to the passenger side and closed the door. I was really stunned and surprised.

I pressed the horn for her to come down, soon as she came down, she immediately said, oh i forgot to ask you if it was ok for Segun to drop us at the hospital, I was like why, she said because he seems to know the place. Funny thing is, this guy I have never met before, but she has told me about him b4 and I know him as the guy that loans she and her sister money when urgent funds are needed. So she called the dude down from the car, introduced him proper and I asked them to leave. A lot of people will sure blame me for allowing someone I dont really know to drive my family to a location, but at that moment I was still stunned because to me it was the highest level of mistrust and disappointment, so I could not take a drastic move @ that moment. They left, and the same guy dropped them off.

That night, I called my wife and sat her down, that I need an explanation on how the whole scene played out, cos I volunteered to go and drop you guys, u didnt answer me, and all of a sudden, I am seeing another man whether known or unknown person in the car with my kids without u telling me b4 u left the house that someone was going to drive u guys. She responded saying, to be sincere, they had plans seeing the guy at the bus stop to discuss loan, but she decided to have the guy drive them since he knows the hospital and since he is a man. I was like fine, but when u came to meet me, I thought u were supposed to tell me who was in the car, instead u walked off, she said actually I forgot, that it was the moment that u pressed the horn that I realized I was suppose to ask u if it was ok for segun to drive us. Oh well, they say communication is key in marriages, I will not say she was lying, thought I know something dont add up, so I moved on.

But the damn thing that really got me worried was that, few days to that very day, I noticed her being worried and soliloquizing, asked her what the problem is, claimed that its the money she lent last from the segun guy which she has not been able to pay is what is worrying her, that the dude has been askeing her for the money since it has elapsed the paying time. With that alone, it gave me a worrying thought that, it was the same guy that I ended up seeing on code @ d filling station driving my family off.

Nlanders, sorry for the long epistle, if I dont explain well, you guys wont understand in details, for the married guys and ladies, whats your take on this issue? Does something really isnt adding up?

Thanks!

My advice for you is to go and do DNA test to know which one of your kids is yours cuz I can't imaging why she won't let their father drive them instead of a stranger that's really bad

Something definitely is not adding up here. The first issue is; your wife borrowing money and to complicate matters even further, she is borrowing from someone you do not know. Secondly, why is your wife borrowing money she cannot pay back? Thirdly, why is someone unknown to you driving your car? I am a woman and if I suddenly see a woman driving my husband's car, na Gobe be that o!! In my view, it does not match up that she is worried that she is unable to pay him back and at the same time allowing him to drive her and the children, something is wrong. She may not be cheating on you. She is perhaps being intimidated or bullied by this Segun guy. I would suggest you talk to her to request the truth from her. Tell her exactly how you feel, what you are unhappy with and what you would like to stop. Be open and honest, otherwise it would be unfair to expect her to know how you feel and adjust her conduct accordingly. She is not a mind reader. Overall, I suspect there is some sort of emotional and communication gap between the two of you. Try to close that gap. Take her somewhere she can relax and open up to you. I wish you all the best in your marriage.

This issue is very critical and it requires tactical approach. To be candid with u bro, your wife is hidding something from you. How on earth will a married lady or woman behalf like that. A times her body movement and all says it all. Well, the marriage is still young and it will be painful if u are being hurt at the end of the day. Kindly take your kids for DNA for you to be sure if they are yours . The truth is that your wife is cheating on you and she's dating Segun. Be strong as a man.

Taking her out to hear the truth may not work because most of the women that cheats always find it hard to reveal the truth even at gun point . Remember she's married all I know is that she's just playing the man in question.

Sholeyb:
Something definitely is not adding up here. The first issue is; your wife borrowing money and to complicate matters even further, she is borrowing from someone you do not know. Secondly, why is your wife borrowing money she cannot pay back? Thirdly, why is someone unknown to you driving your car? I am a woman and if I suddenly see a woman driving my husband's car, na Gobe be that o!! In my view, it does not match up that she is worried that she is unable to pay him back and at the same time allowing him to drive her and the children, something is wrong. She may not be cheating on you. She is perhaps being intimidated or bullied by this Segun guy. I would suggest you talk to her to request the truth from her. Tell her exactly how you feel, what you are unhappy with and what you would like to stop. Be open and honest, otherwise it would be unfair to expect her to know how you feel and adjust her conduct accordingly. She is not a mind reader. Overall, I suspect there is some sort of emotional and communication gap between the two of you. Try to close that gap. Take her somewhere she can relax and open up to you. I wish you all the best in your marriage.

vital94:
From ur explanation,u ar a made man.why did you allow ur wife to borrow.are u not aware that she borrowed the money?

He never knew because the wife kept if from him but after the petrol station incidence, he got to know and he paid it back immediately.

aiyele200:
Hi Nlanders,

Good morning and happy weekend. I am posting this due to the fact that my patience and understanding is being taken for granted by my wife. 6 years already into this marriage, disobedience and unfaithfulness in terms of not being straightforward with me has been the order of the marriage, though a times, the woman changes for good, then later she starts again.

One sunday afternoon after returning back from church, she quickly rushed to me saying she wanted to go and drop her sister at the hospital since the first malaria treatment she had didnt work. I asked where the hospital is, said somewhere in gbagada, knowing fully well that my wife does not know gbagada well, and knowing well also that she was going with the kids, I volunteered to drop them off, but she kept mute, and her body language showed that she didnt want me to drop them off. So I said, plz be careful, gave her money to branch at the filling station to top up the fuel in the car.

On their way going, I got hungry cos lunch was not prepared b4 they left, I decided to rush down to the nearest eatery to get sumtin to eat, on entering my own car, figured out my fuel was low, so I decided to go to the filling station. On getting there, I was packed at my wife's car, she was actually standing beside the passenger side which is weird, cos she was the one that drove off, I looked at the drivers side, and I could see a man's head. So my wife came to meet me, said she just paid for fuel, they are leaving now, at that time, I was expecting her to at least explain who the person at the drivers seat was, with my kids in the car oooo!!! She just went straight to the passenger side and closed the door. I was really stunned and surprised.

I pressed the horn for her to come down, soon as she came down, she immediately said, oh i forgot to ask you if it was ok for Segun to drop us at the hospital, I was like why, she said because he seems to know the place. Funny thing is, this guy I have never met before, but she has told me about him b4 and I know him as the guy that loans she and her sister money when urgent funds are needed. So she called the dude down from the car, introduced him proper and I asked them to leave. A lot of people will sure blame me for allowing someone I dont really know to drive my family to a location, but at that moment I was still stunned because to me it was the highest level of mistrust and disappointment, so I could not take a drastic move @ that moment. They left, and the same guy dropped them off.

That night, I called my wife and sat her down, that I need an explanation on how the whole scene played out, cos I volunteered to go and drop you guys, u didnt answer me, and all of a sudden, I am seeing another man whether known or unknown person in the car with my kids without u telling me b4 u left the house that someone was going to drive u guys. She responded saying, to be sincere, they had plans seeing the guy at the bus stop to discuss loan, but she decided to have the guy drive them since he knows the hospital and since he is a man. I was like fine, but when u came to meet me, I thought u were supposed to tell me who was in the car, instead u walked off, she said actually I forgot, that it was the moment that u pressed the horn that I realized I was suppose to ask u if it was ok for segun to drive us. Oh well, they say communication is key in marriages, I will not say she was lying, thought I know something dont add up, so I moved on.

But the damn thing that really got me worried was that, few days to that very day, I noticed her being worried and soliloquizing, asked her what the problem is, claimed that its the money she lent last from the segun guy which she has not been able to pay is what is worrying her, that the dude has been askeing her for the money since it has elapsed the paying time. With that alone, it gave me a worrying thought that, it was the same guy that I ended up seeing on code @ d filling station driving my family off.

Nlanders, sorry for the long epistle, if I dont explain well, you guys wont understand in details, for the married guys and ladies, whats your take on this issue? Does something really isnt adding up?

Thanks!

what a man! You're not only shameless, but you're not a man. How can a man lend money to your wife and not through you? That man is fvcking your wife and it's your fault. Even when you caught them red-handed at he filling station , you still chose to be a sissy and not act like a man.

I want to believe this didn't happen but if it happened, oga I'm sorry to say you're a mugu, yes a big mugu. You saw a guy you haven't met before behind the wheels driving your family after you offered to drive your wife and she refused... And you let them continue?? What kind of man are you? There are things you don't understand when it comes to these women issue.. You deal with it as it appears. May I ask your children's reaction when they saw you?
If it were me, na there I go first collect the car key, order my children into my car, park the other car and drive my children home in the other car. What if he had gone to use ur family for rituals, what would you have said? That you last saw them at a filling station with a stranger and you let them go?? Oga, you sure say those children na your own?? Oya na dey understand with her dey go na.... Shior