DISCLAIMER: Fight no good o! People dey from fight die. So if you fit avoid am avoid am biko to avoid stories that touch.

I've been in a number of fights in my life. Because of the way I look, people see me as easy prey and want to bully or take advantage of me. Unfortunately for them, I try my best to make them see the error of their ways. I will be chronicling the major standout moments in my life in which I ever got involved in a physical confrontation. In the immortal words of Kenny Rogers, "Sometimes you have to fight, when you're a man."

JSS3

1ST FIGHT
I grew up a butty boy until JSS3 in boarding school when I found out the true meaning of life. This guy, Olumide, was lying down on my bed during Saturday inspection so I asked him to get off my bed o, after all he had his own. Na so the guy jump down gimme beta blow for face (based on terminator wey him be), asking me what right I had to ask him such a question. My mate o! On top my own bed! He asked me to say it again if dem born me well. Of course, I asked him off my bed again and the chairman proceeded to give me the beating of my life. He beat me oooo... Goodness God! He beat the sh!t out of me, leaving me wondering if there was any justice in this world at all. Needless to say, I will never forget that day till the day I die. He beat shege comot for my head that day. I had never thrown a punch before, never been in a fight before, so I promised myself that such a thing will never happen to me again and that I'll always defend myself no matter what. Naturally, I'm never a bully or an aggressor. I took a keen interest in fighting, watching, learning, even practising. That was what also led me to start working out, so I that if I give you a dirty blow you will confess that Buhari is a muslim.

UNIVERSITY

2ND FIGHT
In 100level, just like in boarding school, I was one of the youngest. There was this clique of older guys in my hostel who regarded everyone else as "small boys" for reasons best known to them. One of them, Chinedu, always used to talk down on me and assert his dominance any way he could. But I had observed this guy, I'd shook his hand, I'd gauged his strength, and I was confident that there was no was this guy could whoop my ass. I believe I was much stronger then, and I used to take body building more seriously then. Eventually our back-and-forth came to a climax one fateful day when he tried to prevent me from playing a game of chess before him, meanwhile I was there before him o. He scattered the game and I absolutely lost it! I cursed, insulted, waka-ed the bas.tard as the room fell silent watching me verbally assault one of the "champions". After I was done, Chinedu started laughing a wicked laugh, and everyone in the room started begging him not to do anything to me. That I was still a small boy, that he should forgive me. ME? I was ready for anything. Na so Chinedu tear me beta slap "TOWAI!" We stood toe-to-toe punching the life of our each other. The fight ended when I broke his nose and nearly choked the life out of him. People separated us and after that day we became best of friends.


3RD FIGHT
In 300 level I had this friend who was the ultimate definition of a leech. He wore my clothes, ate my food stuffs, spent my money, and occasionally tried to steal my girls. He was way older than me and I loved him so much, unfortunately he had taken me for granted and felt entitled to my property. One morning after arguing over something I don't remember anymore, I saw him about to wear a shirt of mine that was already practically his because he had worn it more times than I could ever hope to. I told me not to wear my clothes anymore but he brushed me off, thinking it was a joking sturvs. Na so I dey one class wey people full everywhere in the even, that's when I saw Alex bouncing into the vicinity wearing the same goddamn shirt I told him not to wear. Something evil sparked in my head. I walked up to him and asked him, "Why are you wearing my shirt? I need you to take it off now please." He looked at me and laughed, then attempted to walk past me but I blocked his path again.

"I said take off my shirt."

Na so the guy push me. I found my balance quickly and rebounded into him, taking him to the floor. Now, people were paying attention to us. I rained Hail Mary full of blows on his face, breaking his nose in the process. He reached for my throat and tried to choke(?) my but his balance was off. But he succeeded in scratching my neck and making me bleed. When it was looking like I was going to kill him, people gathered and tried to get me off him but I was so livid that I held on firmly to his (my?) shirt, as about 5 guys struggled to lift me off. I inadvertently ripped the shirt in half, and guy man had to walk all the way back to the hostel topless, his chest and six packs exposed for the world to see. He has never completely forgiven me for that incident and he never hesitates to remind me of what I did to him but me, I didn't care. He needed the lesson and he learnt it very well. At this point I could say that I was quite confident in my fighting and defensive ability.















Until........................................















2015

4TH FIGHT
I had never fought someone waaaaaay bigger and taller than me until I met Chidi. My phone had gone missing after a crazy time the night before and Chidi was the main suspect, that's because he was a known thief. Eventually word got back to Chidi that I was suspecting him and he came to confront me for having the audacity of suspecting him for stealing my phone, this is someone that has stolen from me before and is renowned in this particular career path. Words were exchanged and he angrily went to lock the outside door so he can come back and beat his younger brother. As a smaller guy compared to him I entered into his personal space, rendering his attacks ineffective for the time being. I pinned his arms to his side and tried to land a proper blow on his criminal face, but I realized that punching upward is quite harder than punching straight. He tried to free himself and the fight turned into a grappling match as he tried to free himself, but I knew that if I let him go he could possibly crush me. I had seen Chidi take on five okada men successfully and defeat them. He had been to the police station numerous times, and he played football every Sunday unfailingly as a defender where he was a real threat to the strikers on the field. In my analysis, Chidi was potential much more stronger with enough stamina and endurance to go with it. Meaning in an all out brawl, it was highly likely that I would end up tired and exhausted while Chidi might even just be getting started. I slipped behind him where I was safe from his attacks and effectively grappled him until he had no choice but to calm down. Then slowly, while still pinning his arms to his sides I led him out of my room.

"Leave me... I say leave me!" He thundered.

"Hmm, guy. If I leave you, shey you go go? I no wan fight o."

"I no go fight you again."

"You sure?" I asked suspiciously, fearful for my life.

"I dey sure guy. Free me!" He screamed.

I let go of Chidi and pushed him forward, ready for round 2. Surprisingly, Chidi didn't fight me. He simply walked away... And went on to destroy somebody else who had pissed him off that night.


So those are all the physical brawls I have ever been involved in. Luckily for Olumide I never came across him again after boarding school, but even if I did I don't think we would fight. We would simply shake and laugh over old times and move on. Except he tried to maintain the old status quo, in which case I would have no choice but to whoop his ar.se. I'm grateful to Olumide because without the ar.se-whooping that he gave me, I never would have considered it necessary to learn how to defend myself should a situation require me to. So what about you guys? Have you ever been involved in a physical fight before? Let us laugh, learn and unwind biko.

The post tho . Olumides are usually evil.

Sweetheart, where have you been?

Op u should consider boxing or wrestling, u might b d next Mohammed Ali u know. > and make a lot of money
As for me, I remember singing salawu abeni's song "gentle lady ni Mi emi ki shey fighter ooo, kenikeni mase Pe Mi lo sibi IJA.

Oboy,even Spartacus,the champion of Capua never get this kind of your fight record. I remove cap for you.

Me,you can insult me all you can,me nogo fight o. The only place I don ever fight na nairaland and dat na because the person no near me o,e no fit beat me tru phone.

Children of God don't fight

Josephjnr:
Oboy,even Spartacus,the champion of Capua never get this kind of your fight record. I remove cap for you.

Me,you can insult me all you can,me nogo fight o. The only place I don ever fight na nairaland and dat na because the person no near me o,e no fit beat me tru phone.

Oga na the people wey I dey come across dey wan match me o. As a man, you have to know how to defend yourself should the need arise cos people can be stewpid. The funny thing is that most of the people I fight with end up having my back. In the world of men, fighting can be a way of earning respect and proving yourself to your peers. I don't look as soft as I used to anyhow.

Lol @Spartacus. He's my mentor.

I think am a lazy asshole

I always get my Ass whoop

Most times when I was still in school

Lawlahdey:
The post tho . Olumides are usually evil.

Sweetheart, where have you been?

Baby, I've been around o. Don't wanna be dragging you with NL guys I know you'll always come home to me. Yeah, Olumides are evil

So have you ever fought with someone before?

Gentlemen don't fight.

ayam gentle

waywardpikin:


Oga na the people wey I dey come across dey wan match me o. As a man, you have to know how to defend yourself should the need arise cos people can be stewpid. The funny thing is that most of the people I fight with end up having my back. In the world of men, fighting can be a way of earning respecting and proving yourself to your peers. I don't look as soft as I used to anyhow.

Lol @Spartacus. He's my mentor.

Kung Fu training I've done but the only place I have ever used it was in the arena(competition). To just fight like that,is not my thing. However, some people can be so troublesome and try to push one into fight. I think I might fight when I really want to maim or kill someone. Make I try be like u.

waywardpikin:


Baby, I've been around o. Don't wanna be dragging you with NL guys I know you'll always come home to me. Yeah, Olumides are evil

So have you ever fought with someone before?

Yeah right.
You didn't finish the NYSC story tho, or have you?

Physical fight? Taaah. I haven't
But I will if necessary, I think.

my first and only fight i was in primary 4

back then there was a boy who just loved using his pen head to poke my ass from behind i complained to my teacher and she warned him but he just wouldn't stop. still recall it was on a Friday i sat on my desk after P.E doing my homework (I was a nerd so i preferred just getting done with any work so can face home lessons) he came in with his friends about 3boys and a girl .. he left them and walked straight to my desk and was consciously shaking it .. the rage in me eh I just forgot my five tiny fingers on his face he pushed me i fell but i was resilient i stood up and pushed him as hard as i could he staggered .. the fight started o
tho he tore my P.E uniform i succeeded in lifting him off the ground and hitting him hard on the teacher's table .. i was that angry .. i was declared the winner and my P.E uniform replaced by my teacher ..

I prefer watching

Always talk myself out of it.


My mouth always puts me in and out of fight always.

Before getting into a fight, always try to gauge your opponent's strength. If person dey hungry to fight you, take the time and pause to find out what's giving him so much confidence. Some people go in blind because they are carried away by their emotions (anger, etc) and then they get schooled. First ask yourself the following question:

Can I take him?


If your church mind tells you that you can't my brother no try am o, because half the battle is fought in the mind. If you believe you can whoop that motherf%%cker's ar.se then chances are, you can! However, if you haven't properly gauged your opponent's strength then your church mind will definitely lead you into a fight you cannot win. Learn how to pick your battles. It can potentially save your life one day.

I'm still remebered wen I'm was on sec sch, I'm telled mine frnds that I we beet Samson if me and him his fight naso mine apkroko frind his go telled samson whot am sayed o


Am i was only joke that day o


Naso Samson his comed and calenge me o on mine class , samskn his a small child o and a talled guy o


Has I'm whant too gived him blow like these ehn, naso samson his carryed me from ground knack mine head on chair the kain beeting am choped from Samson hands that day ehn




Samson anywhere u are! Mine God we judge u

I'm here to read comments


Ss3 tho

Lawlahdey:
Yeah right.
You didn't finish the NYSC story tho, or have you?

Physical fight? Taaah. I haven't
But I will if necessary, I think.

No I didn't. I know you didn't read it to the end don't deny it

waywardpikin:


No I didn't. I know you didn't read it to the end don't deny it

I actually did.
When will you finish it?

L3G3ND:
my first and only fight i was in primary 4

back then there was a boy who just loved using his pen head to poke my ass from behind i complained to my teacher and she warned him but he just wouldn't stop. still recall it was on a Friday i sat on my desk after P.E doing my homework (I was a nerd so i preferred just getting done with any work so can face home lessons) he came in with his friends about 3boys and a girl .. he left them and walked straight to my desk and was consciously shaking it .. the rage in me eh I just forgot my five tiny fingers on his face he pushed me i fell but i was resilient i stood up and pushed him as hard as i could he staggered .. the fight started o
tho he tore my P.E uniform i succeeded in lifting him off the ground and hitting him hard on the teacher's table .. i was that angry .. i was declared the winner and my P.E uniform replaced by my teacher ..

Hahaha... You know at the age girls are generally stronger than boys. I was once beat up by a very short girl called Mary in Primary school, how could I forget that? lol

Are you still a nerd?

.

Unfortunately yes
Once at college ... the girl said I was too popular and she didn't like the attention I got (bishes been hating for days ) .. so she used to hang around my friends a lot just to irritate and tease me
Anyway one day lunch time me and my girlies was going to get a bite before lectures start .. then I heard her stwepid voice call me

Girl: "Oi so u think you're bad yea "
Me: erm noo why u so pressed "

Girl:" I just don't like you "
Me: yh I heard u wanted to fight me from x

Girl: "yes, she walks over and pushes me in my chest"
Me : I looked at my coat saw finger print stains on my white fur coat and Blacked out
The Ajegunke in me came out ..

All I remember was blood one the girls clothes .. hair on the floor blue lights flashing and handcuff around my wrist .. got suspended .. paid a fine .. case got dismissed cause we were minors

And eventually Got given permission to return to college after a few friends let the principle know I finished it but didn't start it


Anyway ... we are now friends now sha the beaten humbled her and knew to to fuvk with me .. was a note to the other haters too who thought I was cute and cuddly
Moral of the story the quiet ones are dangerous don't go bullying ppl and think one day dey won't bite

Can never forget it .. Kai what a day

Danielmoore:
My days as an Alora informat I fight die

Guy talk d tori for here no dey dull us abeg

Nah

I fight spiritually!

waywardpikin:


Hahaha... You know at the age girls are generally stronger than boys. I was once beat up by a very short girl called Mary in Primary school, how could I forget that? lol

Are you still a nerd?

kinda ...

LalasticSeun:
Nah

I fight spiritually!

Kikiki

I Fought Twice and I Won. I Have Never Been Beaten

Lawlahdey:
I actually did.
When will you finish it?

Now that I know you're reading it I might have to. Where did I stop biko?

DeadRat:
I Fought Twice and I Won. I Have Never Been Beaten

All hail DeadRat the Undefeated Champion!!!

How the matter take happen? Jamisi

Lalas247:

Kikiki

Yeah

I don't have the strength for physical confrontation

LalasticSeun:


Yeah

I don't have the strength for physical confrontation

lol wahlahi it takes energy .. dat fight wey I do
I was week after that for days e no easy