₦airaland Forum

When you see a girl and a boy out in the public, what is the first thought that comes to your mind? - They are in a relationship.
If you say they are wrong, what is the second thought? - They are siblings.
If you say they are wrong again, they would call you a liar and walk away. But, do they ever think of a third option? Do they ever think they could be best friends or just friends? Most of us don’t. Because that is something which the society ceases to consider, not just the society but our African mentality.

Every time you ask a girl about her best friend, knowingly or unknowingly, she uses feminine pronouns and every time we ask a guy about his best friend, we end up using masculine pronouns. This is because we don’t even consider the possibility of someone having a best friend from the opposite gender. And if a girl admits that her best friend is a boy or that she is very good friends with a guy, all hell breaks loose...she will be seen as a slut, incessant judging will start.that's sheer ignorance and very gross.The same thing with when a dude has female bestie or lots of female platonic friends, he will be seen as a Casanova or fuckboy.what a pity:

FRIEND is a gender-neutral word and it should be kept that way.Friendship is a relation which should be transparent from both the sides. .A relationship might just end someday. but real friendship Won't.Friendship is more valuable than anything in this world
As human beings, we usually have a tendency to create romantic projections of every equation shared by two individuals. We tend to talk about love in a romantic or sexual context. I Disagree, Friendship can turn into love but it doesn't mean that a guy and girl will always end up in love.Love is a choice a person makes, that they act upon. Love doesn’t discriminate and has nothing to do with gender. Love can be sexual or can be platonic in friendship regardless of gender.There is something special about a boy, girl friendship. You share almost everything between each other, you laugh, cry, tease, smile, play pranks, study, travel, eat and do everything imaginable.I guess what makes a girl-boy best friends relationship so strong is that there's so less drama in sharing thoughts, more practicality in decisions, lesser chances of being driven away like an emotional fool.

One can have a best friend who stands by them in times of trouble, like a brother, or a best friend who asks them to work towards their goals, like a caring father, or a best friend who scolds when they make mistakes in life, like a teacher. Maybe all these traits exist in one person, a girl or boy, I don’t think it makes a difference.it's all about the mindset. You change that, you will see friendship blooming all around you! And, by the way, isn't the bond of best friends a form of love itself?I do not see any reason why someone can’t have a best friend from the opposite gender.they can love each other immensely but not in a quintessential lovey-dovey kind of way.I think if you're very clear on defining that this is strictly platonic relationship you can develop a healthy, long-lasting friendship that is really worthwhile.

Conclusions:
Friendship is far better than relationship.
Relationship leads to many responsibilities.
Friendship doesn't have boundaries and time limit cos there are certain things you tell your best friend but you cant tell your partner.
It's probably the best thing to have a girl as your best friend.
Having a female or male bestie, you might not need to pretend anything for the girl or the boy. you could be completely yourself but your girlfriend or boyfriend, you might need to change yourself completely.

To me, gender just isn't an issue when choosing best friends. I'm more concerned about the kind of person they are and that we share lots in common.

Air your own opinion on the subject matter, please.

bro African's mind has been poisoned.that why we black like charcoal P.A

Op who beat you? Which boy be your best friend?

And who said it is just an African thing? The Issue is, Africans are more judgemental and thus our conscience is always on overdrive and we tend to weigh our actions.

The western world you are backing, do you know how often the so called friends get under the sheets? It is easier because no one is hounding them. So it's all friendship with benefits.

If you have a personal convictions that it is great and works for you, goodluck! It does not seem so easy for other.

You cannot and should never use logic to explain matters of the heart.

Emotions are wild most times and only a few can put theirs under check. The human brain naturally veers to the mother for comfort and solace likewise the sisters.

For every interaction, oxytocin, testosterone and other affection enhancing hormones are released and you have no control over this.

Working betide you, if your so called female friend is motherly or can make your brain release testosterone continuously, you relationship will change direction without your consent.

For this friendship to survive,

1. The girl really has to be so sexually unattractive to you and the boundaries should be well drawn with high fence. I have one like that.

2. The girl should be a benefactor and helper to you, that takes her off your food chain and your brain will put up a "don't go there" barrier. And even if you develop feelings, which you will, you can never act on it.

3. You are an eunuch or have been castrated.

4. Transgender and gay.

Bottom line, the relationship can work, but time and closeness with all the physical and mental touches will mess up your mind and affection will grow.

And also OP, i hate hypocrisy, wake me up when you can be cool with your partner having male friends aside you. Since you can't, take this....

lalasticlala and Mynd44, we need you guys here!

and when they have romance the girl ends up saying he raped her

if a guy is working I don't think he'd be jobless enough to be called a bestie

there's nothing like male female besties, the girl just needs someone to be all over her, while the guy is jobless and doesn't have a girlfriend

fact

The fact that you cant accept that your Introvert friend had sex with your gf

.....

I definitely have no problem having a guy as my bestfriend,as long as he respects our friendship and doesn't go lovey-dovey on me.

The same way the zoo attendant thought him and the lion were friends

Janeyinspires:
I definitely have no problem having a guy as my bestfriend,as long as he respects our friendship and doesn't go lovey-dovey on me.

Then suddenly a shoulder to cry on becomes a dick to ride on..kwantinue

menstrualpad:
Then suddenly a shoulder to cry on becomes a dick to ride on..kwantinue

Horlohlah get in here.

This comment has made my day, more than a million likes.

lilmax:
and when they have romance the girl ends up saying he raped her

if a guy is working I don't think he'd be jobless enough to be called a bestie

there's nothing like male female besties, the girl just needs someone to be all over her, while the guy is jobless and doesn't have a girlfriend

fact

Tell them bro, fact!!

I no feel like writing epistle jare. Keep using besties to fvck yourselves, it's not my pussy or my boyfriend's dick I'm good. When you find yourself with bestie nak.ed on the bed that's when you'll know he's not the Holy Spirit the comforter.

What makydebbie said
She has covered all the pros and cons

menstrualpad:
Then suddenly a shoulder to cry on becomes a dick to ride on..kwantinue

Lol @ dick to ride on
Well you are saying the truth sha ... haha bestie starts looking like appetiser

makydebbie:
Horlohlah get in here.

This comment has made my day, more than a million likes.

Lol. Aff tired to be schooling these people jae . Africans Like it doesn't happen in the foreign countries also.

The thing is maybe it’s an African thing
Cause I have a male bestie lol and trust me even if we see each other naked will be like looking at brother or sister ... some works but guess your environment too plays a role

Horlohlah:
Lol. Aff tired to be schooling these people jae . Africans Like it doesn't happen in the foreign countries also.

Abeg leave the OP, I dey do hunt jare wish me luck. Me sef don tire to school them.

Lalas247:
What makydebbie said
She has covered all the pros and cons

Hahahaha abi
You sure your male bestie haven't thought of what sex with you will look like? Suspect that guy, he's gay.

makydebbie:
Hahahaha abi
You sure your male bestie haven't thought of what sex with you will look like? Suspect that guy, he's gay.

Haha to be fair on day we slept on the bed ... I know he was awake but he sha lied said he was sleeping .. he turn and dropped his hand on my yansh (but he will lie and say he sleeping can’t remember ) my brother from another mother lol yes it’s true they will still think about it but I think once he knows it’s a no go area eventually they will give up and then become an over protective adopted brother

But it’s true sha ....

Keeping a chicken as a pet is very dangerous because one day you'll sure eat it....a word is enough for the wise

Tell them please

makydebbie:
Hahahaha abi
You sure your male bestie haven't thought of what sex with you will look like? Suspect that guy, he's gay.

Please tell them

Bros it is possible. i dont why everything to guys is all about sex, sex and sex. not everybody got such mindset

Lalas247:
Haha to be fair on day we slept on the bed ... I know he was awake but he sha lied said he was sleeping .. he turn and dropped his hand on my yansh (but he will lie and say he sleeping can’t remember ) my brother from another mother lol yes it’s true they will still think about it but I think once he knows it’s a no go area eventually they will give up and then become an over protective adopted brother

But it’s true sha ....

Ha.
That nyash we go use am collect private jet as bride price.
Lol I'm sure he wanted to know if you'll allow him that's why he didn't go further. Lol, I don't just believe in this male bestie of a thing.

sammyogboso:
Please tell them

Bros I'm tired of telling them I even created a thread on it.

https://www.nairaland.com/4025368/friendship-opposite-sex

makydebbie:
Abeg leave the OP, I dey do hunt jare wish me luck. Me sef don tire to school them.

hunt? Wetin you dey find? Goodluck o

Horlohlah:
hunt? Wetin you dey find? Goodluck o

Job.

What is this fuckery? I'll be back to modify

Ladyjumong:
Bros it is possible. i dont why everything to guys is all about sex, sex and sex. not everybody got such mindset

Ok o its not about sex. Because your supposed bestie is running on mercury not blood abi.

Reski:
Ok o its not about sex. Because your supposed bestie is running on mercury not blood abi.

not everybody's world revolves around sex like urs. some have usefull thing to pursue in life other than sex. thats the least of their thought

i go for the thin like i always do ......
but when the thin seems impossible
i gas settle for friend zone and re-strategize ...