abduljabbar4:


This annoying nairalander has come again. Always trying to make important topics look like an attack against women. If thats really our goal you would have been frustrated by now. Try to be reasonable the op has a point

pocohantas:


One solution...
So many roads leads to the market you know?


They just hate the bitter truth. The OP said something he can't back up, I called his attention to it and he started typing epistles. Though he later retracted his stand. And pocohantas is their problem, I am supposed to swallow everything men dish out...submissive woman

Dimples129:


@ bold this solution is the motorway in my humble opinion.

Girl! Do you which you are great at! Never change, and I got your back

abduljabbar4:


One of your business partners has been nabbed on his way to Indonesia. Hope you have hired a lawyer for him

pocohantas:

The solution remains same.
...Women should learn to control their anger.
Men should study women they want to marry, don't be carried away by superficial qualities. If you are already in the marriage and she starts exhibiting those traits, please run. It doesn't the man weak.


When faced with extreme danger, defend yourself by all means, but defend yourself with wisdom, so you don't end up the one in jail.

Men should also be careful how they abuse their wives in various forms. She'll cry, she would most likely not leave, our society doesn't encourage that. But when she stops crying, the hate starts building up and she strikes. It could take years...women rarely miss their target.

I think we should start encouraging unsatisfied and aggrieved spouses to separate.

FitnessDoctor:


Its not that our society doesn't encourage women not leaving their husband per se, it is that marriage is bound by vows which say for better and for worse. It seems you are not married, so you wouldn't understand what those simple truly means and how far they go in a union such as marriage. I have spoken with some married ladies and understood it to a point, although not clear enough, the experience is the best teacher you know. Women tend to cling on to marriages because they don't want to be alone, because it would be harder to find another man, but men have it easy, they can find a woman so fast if you watch Girls Trip you will understand more about this.

The problem with most marriages today is not just about marrying the wrong woman, because you pocohantas can turn to the devil one day and so can I, and you can be the sweetest thing on earth and so can I.. It is more about making the masses understand what marriage is all about before they rush into it based on fantasies and what they see in movies.

Also, it is more about encouraging both partners to know more about themselves, I created a post talking about rules of relationships and 90% of the people that read it said that relationships shouldn't have rules, that everything would fall into place. In the olden days, there were rules in Nigerian marriages and people barely divorced, (although those rules weren't the best)...

Most people believe that love is a beautiful blind thing and once you re in love and show care, everything will be perfect, most girls just want a guy that could make them laugh and smile without knowing a whole lot about him, they even shy away from important questions because they don't want to dig up the past, which is why as the relationship gets older and the love wanes, the past and hidden habits and flaws become more evident.

Also, saying that men should be careful how they abuse their wives will lead us nowhere, I remember a man saying that he had to slap his wife when she made him angry and he did that out of anger but know it was wrong. Such a woman might never forgive that man because according to women a man who hits his wife is not a man at all, infact he does not deserve an erection. That is something that has to change, because people make mistakes. I never said men were allowed to hit women.

FitnessDoctor:
can you list some factors surrounding the way marriage was operated in the olden days pocohantas

pocohantas:


Arranged marriage.
Women weren't so enlightened or empowered then.
Excessive stigma against divorced women.
Our society was still very much patriarchal.

Lots of men won't marry men like their fathers, but don't joke with their mothers. Tells a lot about who the burden was on. Modern women are not that patient or meek.

Both gender need to go back to the drawing board, if you are not ready to do your part, tolerate and forgive...just tell us marriage is not for you. Some of us will understand.

FitnessDoctor:
ever since women started becoming empowered to make their own choices, have divorce rates gone up or down? has the number of single mothers gone up or down?

pocohantas:


UP

FitnessDoctor:
so what you are saying is that women empowerment isnt the solution to creating happier marriages and also encouraging women to divorce and encouraging the society to lift the stigma on divorced women doesnt equate to marital happiness and wouldnt reduce the number of single mothers and divorced women. is that what you are saying?

pocohantas:


Women empowerment is the key to leaving most unhappy marriags. The key to creating one is dependent on the couples involved.

We are the society. I'm encouraging and imploring every abused spouse out there to separate [if there is no remedy]. It's a whole lot better than killing themselves and raising another set of dysfunctional kids that would end up marrying each other again.

FitnessDoctor:
but you havent answered the question

women want happier marriages and want to love one man forever

so the question is based on that please answer the question

pocohantas:


Which question?

FitnessDoctor:
just read your mentions dear, after you answered that divorce rates are going up, I asked you another question which you skipped.

FitnessDoctor:
so what you are saying is that women empowerment isnt the solution to creating happier marriages and also encouraging women to divorce and encouraging the society to lift the stigma on divorced women doesnt equate to marital happiness and wouldnt reduce the number of single mothers and divorced women. is that what you are saying?

pocohantas:





This?
That's one hell of a compound question. I must have gotten lost somewhere . Please, break it down.

pocohantas:


If you are any reasonable, you'll get my point.
Did I dispute the OP has a point?
Some of you guys here, quote me with your pricks...not your brain.

FitnessDoctor:
so are you saying women empowerment isnt the key to creating happier marriages?

abduljabbar4:


You can never find a point where there is none. I only quote beauty queens with my prick. My prick is classy enough to distinguish between ugliness and beauty and i don't think i need to tell you where you belong

Ahbeg, shift make I see better people

abduljabbar4:


You can never find a point where there is none. I only quote beauty queens with my prick. My prick is classy enough to distinguish between ugliness and beauty and i dont think i need to tell you where you belong

pocohantas:

I answered that, the key is dependent on the couples involved.

abduljabbar4:


you mean those who have valuable time to waste

BabaRamotu1988:
[s][/s]
shatap there and get out
carry your uncircumcised prick and go and fork dirty inyarinya

Archangel15:


You and your aboki friend should carry your yarn to the politics section

pocohantas:


I answered that, the key is dependent on the couples involved.

donblazer10:
jeez..you kidding me right?[color=#990000][/color]

pocohantas:


He just doesn't know how he comes off with those epistles. I intentionally chose not to start unnecessary comparisons with him. More reason I kept referring him to his topic and opening post.