₦airaland Forum

Oh no, this is so misleading. PTSD and narcissism are two different things. Please.
The scenerio you painted... the second, is rarely a case through which people develop a NP. Never heard of such.
NPD is generally known to be developed during the early years or probably even genetic.
If you're not a professional, do not "form any conclusion" and share with others.
It's not fair on the study of the subject area as a whole neither is it fair on survivors of narcissistic abuse.
You can share what you have learned, that's different.

bluetrails7:
Not sure, i'm studying this subject deeply at the moment,i'm yet to reach deeper/concrete conclusion

Few things are certain from my research,it's a PTSD, a mental condition where a person subjects themself to because their trust has been abused earlier in life by someone they trusted deeply,i.e. the child of an absentee parent, a lady sexually abused by a boyfriend she loved deeply, these wounds inflicts wounds, and they begin to cause such an individual to alter their personality,in the end NPD.

Well atleast its still better than Obsessive compulsive
personality disorder (OCPD). That one is the worse.

Don't ask me why, I did psychology.

Purebeerry:
Well atleast its still better than Obsessive compulsive
personality disorder (OCPD). That one is the worse.

Don't ask me why, I did psychology.

Oh shut it. What do you mean by Mental disorder (OCPD) is better than Mental disorder (NPD)

They are both mental disorder.

Its like saying Having headache is better than having stomach ache, you would only make such a statement if you had one of it without experiencing the other.

I have experienced both and they are suprisingly disturbing.

...and the fact that you studied X is not enough for you to form such a statement on the subject. You could have been one of the unserious ones in class

hanassholesolo:
Oh shut it. What do you mean by Mental disorder (OCPD) is better than Mental disorder (NPD)

They are both mental disorder.

Its like saying Having headache is better than having stomach ache, you would only make such a statement if you had one of it without experiencing the other.

I have experienced both and they are suprisingly disturbing.

...and the fact that you studied X is not enough for you to form such a statement on the subject. You could have been one of the unserious ones in class

How can only you experience both? are you suffering from multiple personality disorder? I did psychology as a borrowed course not as my main course.

Purebeerry:
How can only you experience both? are you suffering from multiple personality disorder? I did psychology as a borrowed course not as my main course.

Experienced as in having friends that had each of those.

hanassholesolo:
Experienced as in having friends that had each of those.

But have anyone happened to you before?

Purebeerry:
But have anyone happened to you before?

Are you trying to physco-analyse me?

...and by the way i dont think it just "happens" to You. I think its ingrained in them, genetically. It's not something you can just learn.

I couldn't be a narcissist because my damn conscience wont let me do anything that isn't morally right. I also couldn't be obssessive because i move on from people quickly. but i may have something that i don't know what its called.

hanassholesolo:
Are you trying to physco-analyse me?

...and by the way i dont think it just "happens" to You. I think its ingrained in them, genetically. It's not something you can just learn.

I couldn't be a narcissist because my damn conscience wont let me do anything that isn't morally right. I also couldn't be obssessive because i move on from people quickly. but i may have something that i don't know what its called.

First of all, I am not trying to psycho-analyze you.

Secondly, its not only inherent genetically, the environment also causes these personality disorders.

You see, you don't even know anything about psychology, because if you do, you will know that Obsessive–compulsive personality disorder ( OCPD ) is a personality disorder characterized by a general pattern of concern with orderliness, perfectionism , excessive attention to details, mental and interpersonal control , and a need for control over one's environment, at the expense of flexibility,
openness to experience, and efficiency.


It absolutely has nothing to do with being obsessed with someone.

Purebeerry:
First of all, I am not trying to psycho-analyze you.

Secondly, its not only inherent genetically, the environment also causes these personality disorders.

You see, you don't even know anything about psychology, because if you do, you will know that Obsessive–compulsive personality disorder ( OCPD ) is a personality disorder characterized by a general pattern of concern with orderliness, perfectionism , excessive attention to details, mental and interpersonal control , and a need for control over one's environment, at the expense of flexibility,
openness to experience, and efficiency.


It absolutely has nothing to do with being obsessed with someone.

Good catch, i like how you lifted that defination straight from google. I was obviously talking about the type of OCD i've experienced which is ROCD; a form of OCD, which you would have known if you weren't in such a hurry to prove me wrong.

How is NPD better than ocpd ����
How do you say lacking empathy and conscience, being vile, always wanting to feel grandiose etc are better than obsessions, perfectionism (and all that ocpd is about)?
Hmpf.

Purebeerry:
Well atleast its still better than Obsessive compulsive
personality disorder (OCPD). That one is the worse.

Don't ask me why, I did psychology.

bluetrails7:
My scratch pad.I'll read this later.

Please don't read it, not for pub consumption




Narcissist -

A person with no soul. The only thing bigger than their inflated ego is the void that they demand others to fill.
The narcissist was left without an act once their puppet cut it's strings

narcissist
Someone so full of themselves that they think they can do no wrong. Believes they are always right, the best at everything and looks down on everyone else.


Narcissist
Someone who has little to no empathy, manipulates others, gaslights (makes others doubt their reality), lies incessantly, believes their own lies. They make you doubt your emotions and then call you crazy. They rage for absolutely no reason and you end up apologizing. It can be a parent, friend, brother, sister, boss, spouse. In the beginning they love bomb you into believing they are prince/princess charming. Then they slowly start to abuse you to have you believe you are insane. It's all to control you



Narcissist
1. Someone who always seems to turn the situation onto themselves. Instead of thinking about the other person they tend to focus on themselves and how they can benefit from the person or situation.

2. A person who is very good at manipulating others into doing what they want or making the other person feel that they're wrong in a situation when its clearly them. They love to make the other person feel like they're the crazy one.

3. A narcissist is someone who is arrogant, an exhibitionist, vain, manipulative, and greedy for admiration. Often caused by childhood trauma and PTSD. Narcissists do not do well with sharing, especially when it comes to relationships and friendships do to their need of attention and admiration. They crave attention and often get jealous when others receive it more than them. Narcissist cannot be helped because they usually do not know that they are narcissistic.






Narcissist
Someone who is full of themselves and think that they're bigger and better then everyone who is around them. Someone who is very self centerd and self assuard.



Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder in which there is a long-term pattern of abnormal behavior characterized by exaggerated feelings of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration, and a lack of understanding of others' feelings.[2][3] People affected by it often spend a lot of time thinking about achieving power or success, or about their appearance.[3] They often take advantage of the people around them.[3] The behavior typically begins by early adulthood, and occurs across a variety of situations.[3]






Signs and symptoms

Persons with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are characterized by their persistent grandiosity, excessive need for admiration, and a personal disdain for, and lack of empathy for other people.[7][8] As such, the person with NPD usually displays the behaviors of arrogance, a sense of superiority, and actively seeks to establish abusive power and control over other people.[9] Narcissistic personality disorder is a condition different from self-confidence (a strong sense of self); people with NPD typically value themselves over other persons to the extent that they openly disregard the feelings and wishes of others, and expect to be treated as superior, regardless of their actual status or achievements.[7][10] Moreover, the person with narcissistic personality disorder usually exhibits a fragile ego (Self-concept), an inability to tolerate criticism, and a tendency to belittle others in order to validate their own superiority.[10]

The DSM-5 indicates that persons with NPD usually display some or all of the following symptoms, typically without the commensurate qualities or accomplishments:[7][10]

Grandiosity with expectations of superior treatment from other people
Fixated on fantasies of power, success, intelligence, attractiveness, etc.
Self-perception of being unique, superior, and associated with high-status people and institutions
Needing continual admiration from others
Sense of entitlement to special treatment and to obedience from others
Exploitative of others to achieve personal gain
Unwilling to empathize with the feelings, wishes, and needs of other people
Intensely envious of others, and the belief that others are equally envious of them
Pompous and arrogant demeanor






Associated features

People with NPD tend to exaggerate their skills and accomplishments as well as their level of intimacy with people they consider to be high-status. Their sense of superiority may cause them to monopolize conversations[10] and to become impatient or disdainful when others talk about themselves.[7] In the course of a conversation, they may purposefully or unknowingly disparage or devalue the other person by overemphasizing their own success. When they are aware that their statements have hurt someone else, they tend to react with contempt and to view it as a sign of weakness.[7] When their own ego is wounded by a real or perceived criticism, their anger can be disproportionate to the situation,[10] but typically, their actions and responses are deliberate and calculated.





To the extent that people are pathologically narcissistic, they can be controlling, blaming, self-absorbed, intolerant of others' views, unaware of others' needs and the effects of their behavior on others, and insist that others see them as they wish to be seen.[7] Narcissistic individuals use various strategies to protect the self at the expense of others. They tend to devalue, derogate, insult and blame others, and they often respond to threatening feedback with anger and hostility.[11] Since the fragile ego of individuals with NPD is hypersensitive to perceived criticism or defeat, they are prone to feelings of shame, humiliation and worthlessness over minor or even imagined incidents.[10] They usually mask these feelings from others with feigned humility or by isolating themselves socially, or they may react with outbursts of rage, defiance, or by seeking revenge.[7][8] The merging of the "inflated self-concept" and the "actual self" is seen in the inherent grandiosity of narcissistic personality disorder. Also inherent in this process are the defense mechanisms of denial, idealization and devaluation.[12]





According to Leonard Groopman and Arnold Cooper, the following factors have been identified by various researchers as possible factors that promote the development of NPD:[21]

An oversensitive temperament (personality traits) at birth.
Excessive admiration that is never balanced with realistic feedback.
Excessive praise for good behaviors or excessive criticism for bad behaviors in childhood.
Overindulgence and overvaluation by parents, other family members, or peers.
Being praised for perceived exceptional looks or abilities by adults.
Severe emotional abuse in childhood.
Unpredictable or unreliable caregiving from parents.
Learning manipulative behaviors from parents or peers.
Valued by parents as a means to regulate their own self-esteem.




Narcissistic personality disorder is rarely the primary reason for people seeking mental health treatment. When people with NPD enter treatment, it is typically prompted by life difficulties or to seek relief from another disorder, such as major depressive disorder, substance use disorders, bipolar disorder, or eating disorders,[8] or at the insistence of relatives and friends.[citation needed] This is partly because individuals with NPD generally have poor insight and fail to recognize their perception and behavior as inappropriate and problematic due to their very positive self-image.[2]

Treatment for NPD is centered around psychotherapy.








1. a person who is overly self-involved, and often vain and selfish.


2. Psychoanalysis. a person who suffers from narcissism, deriving erotic gratification from admiration of his or her own physical or mental attributes.



The noun narcissist today means someone only concerned with his or her own interests or predicament and its origin is from Greek mythology. Narcissus was a hunter who was exceptionally beautiful and also just as proud of his looks, ignoring other people around him. He was punished by the gods by falling in love with his own reflection in a pool of water. Not realizing it was himself he loved, he eventually died from unrequited love.

The noun narcissist refers to someone intensely concerned with only his or her own self or interests and who seems to forget that others exist.





Narcissistic personality disorder — one of several types of personality disorders — is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.




t the same time, people with narcissistic personality disorder have trouble handling anything they perceive as criticism, and they can:

Become impatient or angry when they don't receive special treatment
Have significant interpersonal problems and easily feel slighted
React with rage or contempt and try to belittle the other person to make themselves appear superior
Have difficulty regulating emotions and behavior
Experience major problems dealing with stress and adapting to change
Feel depressed and moody because they fall short of perfection
Have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, vulnerability and humiliation





Complications

Complications of narcissistic personality disorder, and other conditions that can occur along with it, can include:

Relationship difficulties
Problems at work or school
Depression and anxiety
Physical health problems
Drug or alcohol misuse
Suicidal thoughts or behavior






Narcissism, in lay terms, basically means that a person is totally absorbed in self. The extreme narcissist is the center of his own universe. To an extreme narcissist, people are things to be used. It usually starts with a significant emotional wound or a series of them culminating in a major trauma of separation/attachment. No matter how socially skilled an extreme narcissist is, he has a major attachment dysfunction. The extreme narcissist is frozen in childhood. He became emotionally stuck at the time of his major trauma of separation/attachment.







In my work with extreme narcissist patients I have found that their emotional age and maturity corresponds to the age they experienced their major trauma. This trauma was devastating to the point it almost killed that person emotionally. The pain never was totally gone and the bleeding was continuous. In order to survive, this child had to construct a protective barrier that insulates him/her from the external world of people. He generalized that all people are harmful and cannot be trusted.

The protective insulation barrier he constructed is called a false persona. He created a false identity. This identity is not the true person inside. The many types of false personas or identities that an extreme narcissist creates can vary.







Some narcissists may have the ability to change into a variety of identities according to the situation. The wounded child inside may choose to present a front as a “bad ass” and tough individual. He may look, by appearance, intimidating and scary to the average person. He could also play the “nice guy/person” whom everyone likes. A corporate type version can be one that is diplomatic, proper, and appearing to care but in reality does not. Another very likeable extreme narcissist can be the one that chooses the comedian role. He is the life of the party and has everyone in stitches, making them laugh constantly. Everyone wants to include this person because they are a lot of fun.

Try to get close or ask personal questions as to how he is internally doing and feeling and you will find is that he will quickly distract you. They will sidestep the question with another joke, making you suddenly forget what you were asking. Narcissists can be very skilled at dodging and ducking personal questions. If you press them, they will then slot you as “unsafe” and will begin to avoid you and exclude you from their life.




There is also the success oriented narcissist. She will be your friend and keep you close to her as long as you are useful. Once you do not have anything more to offer and she has taken all they wanted from you, you are history. You are no longer desired, wanted, or sought.

I remember a significant half dozen of these in my life. One narcissist in particular avoids me like the plague because he knows that I do not ultimately plan my life around whether people like me or not. Hence my behavior cannot be controlled by him. He is threatened by my self-assuredness. I’m not safe to him. It does not matter that I have helped him in critical moments of his life. When he realized that he could not control me to make him look good when I was with him, he dropped me like a heavy weight. I received no more phone calls and was taken off his radar screen.




Another extreme narcissist stopped calling me when I got my Ph.D. I believe that, in his insecurity, he could no longer look “better” than me and be the focal person. As a result, he felt threatened that I had a more powerful image than he did. I think it is silly because I do not care about whether people have degrees to validate their intrinsic value as a human being.

In my ministerial past, I have had several colleagues that I considered to be like blood brothers. We had sworn honesty and loyalty to each other. Once I opened up my weaknesses to them and then asked them to reciprocate, they looked for excuses to label me and reject me. The more I pressed them about their lack of being forthcoming and failing at their own promise of commitment to the friendship, the more vehement they became at avoiding disclosure of their warts to me. Of course, I already knew many of their flaws and already had no problem accepting them. Now it was their turn and they shut down and put up the thick wall.

What a powerful article.My previous boss displays most of the traits here.I always told my colleagues that he's narcissistic but they didn't understand.

Op,if you have a galfriend that has this disorder,what's your advice on how to deal with her.If she was raised by only her mum.[img][/img][color=][/color]

...

cooldood:
What a powerful article.My previous boss displays most of the traits here.I always told my colleagues that he's narcissistic but they didn't understand.

Op,if you have a galfriend that has this disorder,what's your advice on how to deal with her.If she was raised by only her mum.[img][/img][color=][/color]

O.ne thin.g is su.re, the env.iron.ment and associ.ation pl.ays signif.icant ro.le in N.PD, intr.od.uce y.our c.hick

t.o ne.w act.ivities so sh.e c.an m.ake ne.w frie.nds, th.is op.ens up n.ew c.liq, n.ew oppo.rtunities an.d t.akes aw.ay

the bo.nd betwee.n her a.nd h.er env.iron.ment wh.ere s.he imb.ibes ma.ny be.hav.ioral con.ditions. If she's a

Christia.n, i adv.ice she ch.anges he.r ch.u.rch, i advi.ce and reco.mme.nd t.hat y.ou intro.duce soot.hing,slo.w

mu.sic t.o th.e rou.tine, th.is rel.ax.es the br.ain an.d wi.th a m.ore pro.acti.ve syst.em, sh.e ca.n re.lax a.nd se.e li.fe

in a diff.erent w.ay, anywa.ys, let me sum.m.arize

1. C.hange of fr.iendsh.ip an.d asso.cia.tion is im.porta.nt

2. Ch.ange of av.enue.s sh.e g.ets inf.orma.tion, lik.e med.ia, new.s ou.tlet.s, etc

3. Ch.ange of chur.ch/wor.ship cent.re

4. Intr.oduce mu.sic

5. Introd.uce n.ew act.ivit.ies

6. N.ew env.iron.ment is im.portant, inv.olve h.er in s.ocial acti.vitie.s th.at deriv..es suppo.rting ot.her pe.ople, it

wi.ll creat.e a pul.l wh.ere " good.ne.ss " flow.s ou.t of h.er, th.is pr.e-cond.iti.ons h.er a.nd in.du..ces h.er t.o

th.ink lov.e fi.rst rath.er tha.n s.elf

7. In.volve her in B.ible re.ading cl.as.ses and corp.or.ate pr.ay.er

Unlike psychology that preac.hes NP.D has no cure, the backbone of N.PD is " se.lf ", sel.f here is the direct opposite direction of what Ch.ristia.nity preaches, if you adore the chick and mean well for her, introduce her to C.hris.t, this is the beginn.ing to correct the situ.ation. Invol.ve her in " in.ternal Chris.tian ri.tuals ", worship conferences, bible reading, and the truth of the gosp.el will break the m..ould in heart, note correction is dependent of the Ho.ly.spi.rit, and the willin.gness of the chi.ck to want to make changes, witho.ut a desi.re to change, nothing can be done, but the pa.th to tr.eatment is exactly what the new test.ta.ment doct.rine is a.bout.

Pray that the H.oly.sp.irit brings conviction...This is the m.ost effe.ctive trea.tment if you want ta.ngible results.


Let me know how it goes after a while trying these tips, i would relaly love to know how it plays out.

Good luck with your chick.

Note the rule with NPD, means internal/inward/inside i.e. Self absorbed. Hence, it is natural that the theraphy is the opposite direction, i.e. outward. By constantly looking out for the needs and welfare of other people, induces and increases altrusitic attributes in such a person, although people with NPD can be altrustic too, it complicates the theraphy for these kinds, however, if the chick channels herself to " giving out ", seeing to the welfare of people she doesn't have any need for, by becoming more open to the needs of other people, it forces a "correction-set", and with this opening, you can make her see things in new light. All you need is a non-forceful crack and the door will open to a whole new person, note all NPD persons are seriously self-absorbed, so think of things that would break the self-absoprtion/self-love practice and you'll be doing yourself a lot of good...

Correction, theraphy and management must not leave your mind with such a chick, if you have these in your mind, you will be fine with her.

Zykod:
O.ne thin.g is su.re, the env.iron.ment and associ.ation pl.ays signif.icant ro.le in N.PD, intr.od.uce y.our c.hick

t.o ne.w act.ivities so sh.e c.an m.ake ne.w frie.nds, th.is op.ens up n.ew c.liq, n.ew oppo.rtunities an.d t.akes aw.ay

the bo.nd betwee.n her a.nd h.er env.iron.ment wh.ere s.he imb.ibes ma.ny be.hav.ioral con.ditions. If she's a

Christia.n, i adv.ice she ch.anges he.r ch.u.rch, i advi.ce and reco.mme.nd t.hat y.ou intro.duce soot.hing,slo.w

mu.sic t.o th.e rou.tine, th.is rel.ax.es the br.ain an.d wi.th a m.ore pro.acti.ve syst.em, sh.e ca.n re.lax a.nd se.e li.fe

in a diff.erent w.ay, anywa.ys, let me sum.m.arize

1. C.hange of fr.iendsh.ip an.d asso.cia.tion is im.porta.nt

2. Ch.ange of av.enue.s sh.e g.ets inf.orma.tion, lik.e med.ia, new.s ou.tlet.s, etc

3. Ch.ange of chur.ch/wor.ship cent.re

4. Intr.oduce mu.sic

5. Introd.uce n.ew act.ivit.ies

6. N.ew env.iron.ment is im.portant, inv.olve h.er in s.ocial acti.vitie.s th.at deriv..es suppo.rting ot.her pe.ople, it

wi.ll creat.e a pul.l wh.ere " good.ne.ss " flow.s ou.t of h.er, th.is pr.e-cond.iti.ons h.er a.nd in.du..ces h.er t.o

th.ink lov.e fi.rst rath.er tha.n s.elf

7. In.volve her in B.ible re.ading cl.as.ses and corp.or.ate pr.ay.er

Hmm...interesting.What if she's the very stubborn type and can be very difficult to persuade her to change her source of information or church,etc,cos I believe her information source is part of the problem.

Zykod:
Unlike psychology that preac.hes NP.D has no cure, the backbone of N.PD is " se.lf ", sel.f here is the direct opposite direction of what Ch.ristia.nity preaches, if you adore the chick and mean well for her, introduce her to C.hris.t, this is the beginn.ing to correct the situ.ation. Invol.ve her in " in.ternal Chris.tian ri.tuals ", worship conferences, bible reading, and the truth of the gosp.el will break the m..ould in heart, note correction is dependent of the Ho.ly.spi.rit, and the willin.gness of the chi.ck to want to make changes, witho.ut a desi.re to change, nothing can be done, but the pa.th to tr.eatment is exactly what the new test.ta.ment doct.rine is a.bout.

Pray that the H.oly.sp.irit brings conviction...This is the m.ost effe.ctive trea.tment if you want ta.ngible results.


Let me know how it goes after a while trying these tips, i would relaly love to know how it plays out.

Good luck with your chick.

Thankyou.

cooldood:
Hmm...interesting.What if she's the very stubborn type and can be very difficult to persuade her to change her source of information or church,etc,cos I believe her information source is part of the problem.

If she's refusing to make changes, you will snap at some point if....she needs to make changes while, you need to be tolerant, it's a two-way approach...Both of you need to meet in the middle, she works on herself, you tolerate her. If not, the relationship will suffer spikes and will be far from what can be called a healthy relationship !

Lol. Wow. This information is so sad.
You're telling someone to continue with a narcissist because of love? Stay in an abusive relationship because of love? That's not love, that would be codependency or something.
..
Narcissist, self-awareness? Change according to will?
Ah. You really should get properly informed about narcissism, you would not be saying all these if you really knew what it was about. You will tell the person to run as quick and far as they can!

bluetrails7:
The way out is to lover her passionately, love her with all the love you've got, do not give signs that confirms her fears, finally, though therapists say there's no treatment for NPD, it's a pure lie, having changed for the better, i can tell you authoritatively that there'sno issue difficult for the Lord, the light of the gospel can shine light on a person's conditon, make a significant awareness of their conditions known to them, and only then can such individual make changes on their accord, of their self-will. It's only from within that changes can come, and it starts with self-awareness. So, if i had such a girlfriend, i won't breakup with her, I will love her with intense passion, i won't give her reasons to doubt, i will pray for and with her. And most importanty, she has to read the Bible so the light of salvation can help in her evolution.



In the end, we all need to make changes in our personal lives...so until we all reach the point where we say i need no fixing, we have work to perform on ourselves..

Hope this settles your question

Mery Xmas

A narcissist will not work on himself to make anything better!
The only thing that matters to the narcissist is himself. Everything is about him. The relationship is about him, the narcissist is with his partner because of himself, control etc.
That's why he/she is a narcissist and that's why it's a personality disorder.
Narcissists are hard to deal with by professionals themselves, what more a regular person.

Zykod:
If she's refusing to make changes, you will snap at some point if....she needs to make changes while, you need to be tolerant, it's a two-way approach...Both of you need to meet in the middle, she works on herself, you tolerate her. If not, the relationship will suffer spikes and will be far from what can be called a healthy relationship !

Jesus is able to do exceedingly. Absolutely. But you do not see fire and stay put.
Seeing this before you marry someone, you still choose to be with them "praying and hoping", when you marry them and it becomes worse, don't ask God why He allowed you to marry that kind of person nor say God didn't answer your prayers when you already saw the signs earlier.
It's like being in a relationship with someone that can kill you, yet you stay, "praying" that they don't.

God answers prayers and changes people but God also wants you to choose someone that respects and loves you.

You're not married, it is still a premarital relationship. Make the right choice before you end up losing yourself to a narcissist while waiting for a miracle.

The most important thing here is for you to be first of all sure that this person has a personality disorder at all, and then narcissism.
You should read information off the internet and measure up what you learn with your girl's personality....and then probably talk to a professional to be sure.

Zykod:
Unlike psychology that preac.hes NP.D has no cure, the backbone of N.PD is " se.lf ", sel.f here is the direct opposite direction of what Ch.ristia.nity preaches, if you adore the chick and mean well for her, introduce her to C.hris.t, this is the beginn.ing to correct the situ.ation. Invol.ve her in " in.ternal Chris.tian ri.tuals ", worship conferences, bible reading, and the truth of the gosp.el will break the m..ould in heart, note correction is dependent of the Ho.ly.spi.rit, and the willin.gness of the chi.ck to want to make changes, witho.ut a desi.re to change, nothing can be done, but the pa.th to tr.eatment is exactly what the new test.ta.ment doct.rine is a.bout.

Pray that the H.oly.sp.irit brings conviction...This is the m.ost effe.ctive trea.tment if you want ta.ngible results.


Let me know how it goes after a while trying these tips, i would relaly love to know how it plays out.

Good luck with your chick.

Persuading a narcissist (if she's really one) to seek help or change is something that yields zero.
The narcissist does not see any reason why he should get help. They usually only find themselves at therapy because of other issues like depression, anxiety, etc or when at the court for divorce, crime, or something.
And even when they are in therapy, they're difficult and usually uncooperative.

Information is free. Read up from professionals.

cooldood:
Hmm...interesting.What if she's the very stubborn type and can be very difficult to persuade her to change her source of information or church,etc,cos I believe her information source is part of the problem.

A narcissistic relationship is already unhealthy!
There is no relationship, it's just the narcissist sucking you off as a supply. They will idealise, devalue, and discard you. They'll probably come back again to hoover and they'll suck off of you.
The cycle will continue to go on and on until you realise yourself!

Zykod:
If she's refusing to make changes, you will snap at some point if....she needs to make changes while, you need to be tolerant, it's a two-way approach...Both of you need to meet in the middle, she works on herself, you tolerate her. If not, the relationship will suffer spikes and will be far from what can be called a healthy relationship !

Zykod:
If she's refusing to make changes, you will snap at some point if....she needs to make changes while, you need to be tolerant, it's a two-way approach...Both of you need to meet in the middle, she works on herself, you tolerate her. If not, the relationship will suffer spikes and will be far from what can be called a healthy relationship !

I am a resilient person and give people benefit of doubt so I know I could be very tolerant and I have been with her. The only thing is she's unwilling to shift.She doesn't see anything wrong in what I ask of her to drop.

estelle6763:
Lol. Wow. This information is so sad.
You're telling someone to continue with a narcissist because of love? Stay in an abusive relationship because of love? That's not love, that would be codependency or something.
..
Narcissist, self-awareness? Change according to will?
Ah. You really should get properly informed about narcissism, you would not be saying all these if you really knew what it was about. You will tell the person to run as quick and far as they can!

I am saddened by this,cos I truly care about her.so if there's no remedy for her,it saddens my heart.

estelle6763:
Jesus is able to do exceedingly. Absolutely. But you do not see fire and stay put.
Seeing this before you marry someone, you still choose to be with them "praying and hoping", when you marry them and it becomes worse, don't ask God why He allowed you to marry that kind of person nor say God didn't answer your prayers when you already saw the signs earlier.
It's like being in a relationship with someone that can kill you, yet you stay, "praying" that they don't.

God answers prayers and changes people but God also wants you to choose someone that respects and loves you.

You're not married, it is still a premarital relationship. Make the right choice before you end up losing yourself to a narcissist while waiting for a miracle.

The most important thing here is for you to be first of all sure that this person has a personality disorder at all, and then narcissism.
You should read information off the internet and measure up what you learn with your girl's personality....and then probably talk to a professional to be sure.

I have been silently praying that I am wrong about my suspicion that she's NPD,but going through several articles on it and comparing the traits with hers objectively,she displays Grandiose Narcissistic traits. What can I do, I care about her.

cooldood:
I am a resilient person and give people benefit of doubt so I know I could be very tolerant and I have been with her. The only thing is she's unwilling to shift.She doesn't see anything wrong in what I ask of her to drop.

What's your temperament? If you're slow to anger, you may work but expect sharp spikes, it requires commitment from both parties, and as usual you won't get hers....and she needs to work on herself. People with NPD are stubborn, and uncooperative, so she won't see the need to work on herself,which means problem. If she sees the need to then, you can be hopeful, otherwise my candid advise is you withdraw, see if she'll miss you, and then tell her your fears maybe it would induce her to listen and work on herself. If this doesn't work, then it's time to cut your losses short.

Read this :


https://www.nairaland.com/4189327/20-signs-youre-dating-dealing

If you really want her,be assuredyou will need to be patient, but will have lots of work to do many i have explained above...But if you won't be able to cope a life time, you need to end it. Remember, marriage is a life time committment, can you cope for a lifetime? It's like being married to an handicapp

But a relationship with a narcisstic person won't be a healthy one, note !

estelle6763:
I just left a relationship with someone that has a personality disorder (confirmed by the therapist) but we didn't go deep into everything for her to confirm if he was a narcissist. I am convinced though because I know my experience, everything I searched pointed to it.
It was the worst experience of my life. It was and is very traumatizing and it seems like it will never end but it will only get better. It was only a short while yet it was very manipulative, abusive and disorienting. I was made to think I was the one with a mental issue when I've been perfectly sane all my life and in relationships with people.
I didn't know what I was doing anymore.
I started realising myself when we stopped talking for like 2-3 days between a hoover and it was like I woke up from a trance. I felt mentally drained and lost.
Immediately I found out what it was that was going on, I went NO CONTACT.
I loved him, absolutely, but I care about and love myself too. He is not capable of love as a narcissist, he will only act out what he understands as love for as long as he can and it is not love because it is still about SELF. Control, manipulation, gaslighting, devaluation, etc. This is what a narcissist is about in a relationship.
If your girl is a narcissist, she cannot connect on a natural level that normal people can.
Very unhealthy for your mental and general health.
Continue to get educated and I hope you can make up your mind.

Interesting. I will be patient with my girl for a while and try to sacrifice a great deal for her going forward.I believe love trumps all. Let me see how it goes for another 3months. We're in our third month and I truly care n love her.

cooldood:
Interesting. I will be patient with my girl for a while and try to sacrifice a great deal for her going forward.I believe love trumps all. Let me see how it goes for another 3months. We're in our third month and I truly care n love her.

Keep an open heart like i said...It can work. You may need a mentor to help you both, that she may be willing to listen to...I don't think its' right to throw away a promising relationship for flimsy reasons