₦airaland Forum

Jupxter:
Assertive is a strong word and may be considered too strong in some relationships, how about plain boldness...? While these qualities you listedare bae, there's a thin line between being independent, confident, emotionally stable,self sufficient and being overbearing...which is why it's a drag for most average guy.Trust me, many guys don't mind a lady that earns more, but will the guy have his sanity intact, can a lady acquire so much and retain a healthy sense of self without using the other party as a channel to vent into? I guess you know the obvious answer....



Many guys exist that don't mind if a lady earns ten times her pay, but then it puts pressure on decision making that would have been easir if the lady earned lesser. i.e. a financially independent lady sees and feels she can move on with nothing to lose, and it influences how she reaches decisions, hence, is always more on the look out for herself and her interest in a relationship rather than the common good of both individuals. There's toomuch individualism in many relationships from the comments i've red so far this year, and to me, nothing kills a relationship faster than excessive individualism.



Supersystems...

Martin0:
Hian well I will see to that!
Maybe after my search I will get back to you..

greiboy:
Bro I agree with you on this

The problem is how most ladies will react if they earn just as much or more than their bf/husband?

The main problem is the way ladies tag financial independence with greater control in relationship. it is definitely not the same thing.

Ladyhippolyta88:
That is not true if it was Nigeria would be in a better place.

alexialin:
Lol

funmisticqueen:
nope it simply means your sisters' husbands have learned to swallow bullshit in the name of marriage. It is simple human nature to behave like a boss once the opportunity shows itself.

DJperdurabo:
This isn't about Nigeria, politics or whatever. It is just a universal truth discerned over centuries of analysing power play between men and women.

As an aside, I recommended you see a movie. It's a nice one truly and is not what you may be surmising its all about. I bet you'll smile when you discern why I asked you to see the movie (hopefully).

Jupxter:
Can i postulate? Many financially independent ladies date guys they earned more than at some point, and felt the need to be in control, so even when they move on to serious relationships, it has become enshrined in their doctrine to be in control and maintain the upper hand. Even when equality is given, it's never enough for thei unsatisfied souls that crave for more than absolute control over a man, the end product is lack of desire for financially independent women, but then they find men who crave for fianncial gain, marry these kinds and then use their financial prowess to manipulate them as they see,

but what happens when the guy hammers?

Ladyhippolyta88:
It is society truth and men dominate but to me leadership capacity or capabilities has nothing to do with gender.If the movie is a religious one I won't watch.

kazyhm:
i wont allow myself to be led by a woman irrespective whether rich/brilliant or have a career.........women tends to be emotionally attached to some silly stuffs and pay attention to trivial frivolity... they exercise power unnecessarily and always want show off indefinitely

ozilo1chance:
Oga no vex ooo,we no dey fight for here

purples25:
Always want their women to beg them for money only to insult them , always love to use them sexually then pile the sexual stigma of non virgins and the like on them , while they run around using more women, to be honest they like their women poor and decrepit so they can run over them, they will always like to shame and insult them, they don't feel like men until women's heads are bowed down in servitude and shame, leader and slave mentality , while other nationalities mostly prefer to work as a team. Don't try proving yourself as a woman cuz mostly Nigerian men connive to prove the woman is nothing by ignoring her if she is successful and defiling her if she is sexually upright, getting her into a situation where it looks like she is lying if she claims she doesn't scrounge for money off guys.

Safiaaa:
If you don't have anything reasonable to say..don't comment on my thread. Noooonsensseee.

Safiaaa:
This is not to bash Nigerian Men at all. This is just an observation and I have every right to my opinion. I'm also not generalizing, talking about the majority.

Now I've observed something about most Nigerian men that I don't seem to understand. It baffles me and it's very distasteful. I've honestly come to the conclusion that you guys indirectly know what you want but cover it with deceit. I know every effing person has heard this phrase ' All Nigerian women bring to the table is pussy and nothing else, they're useless', but indirectly that's exactly what they want.

You see, a lot of Nigerian men have inflated fragile egos. They run after things that stroke their manhood, which is fine. The problem is that most of them are in denial. When a woman has nothing to offer but her pussy, she's dependent on you in every other aspect, especially financially. And as we all know most men find security and confidence in their pocket size. So when a woman depends on a man for her finances, it's almost like she's stroking his ego and confidence at the same time. He likes that superior/ dominant feeling. It's what most Nigerian men crave for. That financial dominance is a safety ego ground that they can always run back to.

On the other hand, when a woman is financially independent got her life together and doing well for herself, what do Nigerian men do? Run the opposite direction. Why? Intimidation. Insecurity. Fear of feeling inferior. Calling her all sorts of names. A woman who is independent will not NEED to beg you for money or ask you for anything. So in that case, they're not feeling as ' manly' as they would like. It burns them internally. Jealousy, envy and lies will begin to fall into the picture. If you don't agree with that you're on a long thing.

So Nigerian men, stop being in denial. If you want a woman who only offers her pussy and frequent emotional availability here and there, just be honest with yourself. A financially independent woman is not for the emotionally weak minded. Indirectly, most of you want a woman who is financially dependent on you. You want that financial dominance, that superiority. My problem is that when she's offering that pussy to you, don't complain. Accept it like a ' man' and take on the financial responsibility. If not, change your class of women. Financially independent women should not intimidate you or scare you away. Go for the women who will compete with you in finances. The ball is in your hands, take responsibility for your damn actions, and stop acting confused all the time.

Dassal.

DJperdurabo:
That is when you start hearing stories peddled about by the disgruntled lady about how "...I made him who he is today, loved him, took care of him, now he can afford to insult me and cheat on me because e don get money, the ungrateful thing...men are so useless...bla...bla...bla..."

What she failed to realise is that the chap took all her nonsense cos he had no choice. It was either submit or starve. But he had his plans; to leave her proud, overbearing, condescending and proud ass once he makes it.

Now e don hammer and the rest as they say is history...including her overbearing ass!

DJperdurabo:
So on point.

Witnessed countless times where what you expounded on comes to the fore. Got friends dying in their 'wealthy' Wedlock's (read: Husband working in Chevron, Wife operating as Country Sales manager for a vibrant firm etc).

I shiiit you not, I could give examples taya. One was so bad, I had to cough up some money from my meagre earnings to pay up money forcefully collected from a service provider for a service that the hussy took a stand against. The said money was paid by the wifey as she told him that she doesn't need his approval nor money to effect the change she needed in the family as she can afford to pay for it herself. It wasn't a small thing o, no be as I dey talk am here. House nearly scatta pata pata. I pleaded with both parties especially the lady, to just let go just this once, lai lai, she nor gree!

Most women, like I reiterated before make poor leaders relative to their male counterparts. That emotional aspect of their lives which funny enough makes them endearing to their kids and the society in general is the major Achilles heel to their quest for exemplary leadership and astute decision making.

funmisticqueen:
look here,it is obvious you cant handle a woman being in charge. Work on your issues man

DJperdurabo:
Religious (laughs and scoffs!).
Far from it.
Just see it.

Ladyhippolyta88:
As for me I don't like someone controlling me and I don't like to control anybody.If you want to correct me please be polite and don't shout at me.Let us say the woman and the man are both intelligent and the woman seems to be opinionated on issues believe me some men would not like it they would prefer to date a dummy. And be sincere some Nigerian men majority don't like smart women.

Ladyhippolyta88:
If you can't explain don't confuse me.

braivheart:
Sorry
I thought you were feigning ignorance
If a guy puts a girl in the family way, it means he impregnated her.
By 9 lane, I meant 9 months

mikolo80:
so now who lose. Men will always find dummies but you can only find cucumber

HauteReel:
I really do. You're game?

Jupxter:
I believe a strong man needs a strong woman by his side, one that can make smart decisions that would not necessitate the presence of the husband to make such decisions, but then can they be trusted with power? This is the fear....We love financially independent ladies, i could swear, it makes life sweet, but then, they view things from a warfare posture, senseless and needless fights. OMG, can a man have some peace of mind i beg to wonder...I don't even know what to consider, the dependent or the not-so-dependent, men, the dependent have many times serious cognitive deficiency, it seems poverty blocks their mentral prowess. I think we guys need to be tolerant whatever love send s across to us, what i'll do is this, if i marry and chick start trouble, i'll run away, run far..I can never beat a woman, i don't want any woman to make me break that vow...

Jupxter:
Bros you dey resonate for the same frequency with me

Ladyhippolyta88:
To be sincere that is not my problem and not all men need dummies.I am not loosing to anybody because it is not what my life would be centered at.

mikolo80:
good luck finding man that will give up headship to his wife. And hope you're ready to be sugar mummy and pay all bills

DJperdurabo:
Until women understand that they're not in "competition" with their spouses, financially independent women will always have problems with their partners.

And until men realise that her financial.independence is a blessing to the relationship and not a curse, he'll see insurbodination at every turn.

Its about maturity, mutual respect, lotta compromise and the foundation of it all; Love. Any other thing is just a poor facsimile of the original.

Ladyhippolyta88:
Oh keep quiet maybe to you marriage is about headship or that one is a man he has sense all of a sudden and he is an head not because he merits it but because of his gender, but to me it isn't.My relationship would be egalitarian and even my marriage as well because we would be best friends and partners and believe me we would be happy because our relationship or marriage would not be a master servant one it would be an egalitarian one.And he can foot his bills I can foot mine he is not my sugar daddy and I am not his.If you want headship in your relationship no problem but as for me I want partnership,companionship and egalitarianism.

kazyhm:
i really dont know whats your experiences like but i really feel you re making these allegations up.............however, i'm deeply sorry if these are your experiences............all i have witnessed are men given up everything for the women they love.......countless of men's downfalls can be linked to having a soft spot for women........the irony is every teenage boys are as innocent as a new born baby until we started dealing with gals..........we learn how to take rejection in good fate, how to moved on after heartbreaks even when you gave everything.

Martin0:
Well it seems u ve not mingle or been approached the the right or good men!

Well I can't say anymore words as to your believe still influence yoù...

Ciao **wish u good luck**