₦airaland Forum

Blackfyre:
Except me.sha....*whistling away*

makydebbie:
Na so.

Missali:
What I can make of it is that it is in human nature to fail others, heck we sometimes fail ourselves in doing what we ought not to.
Trying to give reasons is not what I'm about as his non input to me at his time of plenty did not affect me financially.

Men like him will go online and sit with friends to yell about how unrealistic women are when they refuse to stay through the hard times but forget that there is no guarantee in it in the long run.

Missali:
Kindly point out traits of the 'loyal gentlemen'. The last time I checked, the synonym for a purportedly good, single man on NL is one who has a job and is visionary. When a lady tries to seek out other qualities such as one who is very financially capable, she is termed all sorts of names.

Now when the so called loyal man turns disloyal it is somehow her fault still.

Fabuloski:
I Do Really Think His Case Is A Rear One. You Can't Just Advice Other Ladies And Yourself Based On One Bad Experience. When Guys Say " Stay During Hard Times" They Mean With Reasonable Guys. If I Am Right, The Guy Is A Student Right? And You Too?

Jman06:
See, a loyal man is he who would tell you the truth and nothing but the truth. He may not have a job, but he is of sound character and treats you right.
If he doesn't have money to live in a porshe apartment he would comfortably rent a face me i face you room, while he works hard to rent a better place. Now would you agree to date him in that room

He may not have money to buy those flashy clothes and shoes, so he wears the cheap Aba made ones and not try to steal his brother or uncle's wears to dress cute and impress you, tell yourself the truth, would you not dump him

He may not be a brother in the lord, but a freethinker or atheist and doesn't pretend to believe in God, would you accept him like that

He may not tell you that he loves you more than his mom because he knows that no reasonable man would love another person more than his own mom. But that doesn't mean he doesn't love you but not just as much as he loves his mom. Would you not rather go for that player that lied to you that he loves you more than his mom.

He may not be the loud and outgoing type, but reserved,shy and introverted but still intelligent. Would you not rather fall for that loud player with sugar coated tongue

Lastly, your loyal guy may not be 6ft tall, dark in complexion with 6packs, but could just be an average-looking guy, would you honestly reason that all that glitters is not gold and focus on his character and loyalty instead of looking for that "fine boy" player

Answer these questions honestly and then you would see why you may not be able to meet that loyal and honest man who would keep to his promises.

Missali:
I see no need for these questions. I never stated that I compelled him to rent a duplex, wear designer clothes or take me to a Chinese restaurant so what is your point?

WORDWORLD:
Why are most ladies like this? If a man fvcks dem up. D say "ALL MEN ARE FVCKED UP". And start to bash on men instead of to heal their wounds, learn and hope for the BEST OF MEN but they begin to program their mentality for the WORST. It applies to men to who choose not be brave hearts. SO, WHAT HAVE YOU COME TO TEACH. THAT LADIES SHOULD NOT STAND BY THEIR MEN BECAUSE YOU FELL IN A WRONG HAND? This is not emotional growth nor emotional intelligence. Learn to move on and hope for the best of partner, just because your guy have behave this way does not have any empirical bases as to justify what you want ladies to take as judging men. THIS IS BULLSH!T ASSUMPTION AND HAS BEEN TEARING US APART.

Missali:
I see no need for these questions. I never stated that I compelled him to rent a duplex, wear designer clothes or take me to a Chinese restaurant so what is your point?

Jman06:
You asked me how to know a guy who's gonna be loyal, and i just listed some attributes that may prevent you from recognizing a loyal guy.

And i amsure that guy you dated is a player who may have exhibited attributes of players while you were dating.

Missali:
The guy didn't have a flashy car or had money throw around. Go through the post again, you seem not to have grasped fully.

Besides, I reckon the best players are the ones who do not take on the attributes of a player.

Missali:
Neither, what I mean is that men clamour for women who would stick with them through thick and thin without eventually playing out their roles when it comes down to it.

This same guys comes online to rant about women who ain't loyal and all that as if, they are.

zagorakis:
That he won over 1 million naira doesnt mean he has made it,
Besides u heard it from people,why not call him "as usual" and verify, if u have truely stood by him.

Incrizz:
Lol...
Men love to be men.

*(Jesus will return)

Missali:
One of the qualities men look out out for in a woman is the ability for her to stay true by him during trying times and a woman who cannot do that is termed a non wife material and slay Queen at best and at worst, a gold digger.
It is believed that when a woman supports her man and he comes to, in turn he will respect her and share responsibilities as he should but often times, this is not the case.

Many at times we have heard experiences from family, friends, colleagues or even gone through it.
Here's mine: I had this boyfriend that was struggling in every sense of the word. We kept on despite his financial shortcomings and I would travel a long distance to see him knowing fully well that the trip expenses and all that came with it were on me. I did not hesitate to oblige favours that I could give and ensured I went out with him during his jobs just to give that moral support.

Things seemed to be going on well until the day I was sitting with some friends and one of them asked how I was enjoying with my boyfriend. I responded with a light laugh and he asked "now that your guy has made it, what is the way forward?"

Me: Made it how?
Guy: Your guy hit over one million in that online betting promo.
Me: Yes yes, it's not easy... Such an unexpected favour at a time like this.

I pretended to be aware and happy but I wasn't myself till the end of the day. Everybody knew the good news except me.
One week, two weeks, one month passed and I got no call from my estranged boyfriend to even tell me what had happened. I refused to call too.

I heard news about how he had become the man about town, declaring free drinks for people he met at our street bars, dashing money to those who came to celebrate with him etc. Whenever someone who knew us sighted me they asked, "are you not M's girlfriend?" and I mumbled any answer that came to mind.
Months later I got a call from him begging to see Me. After many refusals, I decided we meet. He went on his knees apologising, saying he knew I was aware of all that had happened but was too ashamed to contact me. He went on about how he rented an apartment for one girl, was giving out money with reckless abandon, purchased an expensive mobile phone which he ended up selling at an abysmally low price (due to hardship) and how he was popping bottles at bars et al.

The length and breadth of the story was that the money was all gone. The business idea we had brainstormed he made no use of the money to invest. All his friends and girlfriends had left him for good and he felt lonely, he remembered the one who stood by him sincerely.

At the moment he had not a penny, with an empty stomach and looking for a way to get a small job. I could tell he was miserable from his looks alone. If only he had the right company who would have advised him at such a critical time, he'd never have had to go hungry again. I took him to a restaurant and we had a nice meal. He called me a good girl, a loving friend, a confidant blah blah blah.

Ladies, they will come at you with twisted words tell you they want a good woman, a patient woman, a supportive woman etc. Some will even tell you that they can never respect a woman who does not struggle with them. Do not fall for it. Most times, what they want is someone to take their excesses while they move on to cast their net elsewhere. For tens of stories about men who stick by their women when the going got smooth, there are hundreds of untold stories about men who looked the other way.

Playing the supportive role is the case of it may work and it may not. It is not stated anywhere that after standing by him and he leaves for another woman, he will be mobbed. You will simply be remembered as 'the one who once was', that's all.

It is a case of driving into a place with the words "cars parked at owner's risk." Nobody will tell you not to park your car but you hold yourself liable should anything happen to it. Hence, stand by your man at owner's risk.


Cc: Lalasticlala
Cc: Farano
Cc: Rocktation
Cc: Mynd44

Jman06:
This is not always the case. The problem is that you ladies like to fall for aszsholes but despise the loyal gentlemen. So, when these aszholes dump you you turn around and rope in all men as evil.

There are many honest guys out there but most of you ladies like to go after this dishonest ones and that's the problem.

Incrizz:
Lol...

Men love to be men.


*(Jesus will return)

Missali:
I am not compelling anyone to do my bidding as I do not have that power. There is a reason why people in general say 'stay during hard times', it's so that you can grow together, achieve dreams together, so that when it gets bettery 'you know you earned it rather than trying to reap where you have not sown'.

All I'm saying is that if you must, you can as well expect the unexpected as it may not turn out as you envisage.

As for whether he is a Student or not, I mentioned 'his job's a couple of times. I
Perhaps, are you saying students are unreasonable and shouldn't be dated?

Blackfyre:
Meaning?

zainmaxwell:
and the women??

Incrizz:
Lol...I saw a write up by Safia on front page. Nice.
But what I feel she doesn't get is this,
If it's true that men love financially independent women, then, men love it more that their financially independent women depend on them!
(Try not to get confused)
When a lady understands this, her life in a relationship may be easier.

Whether a man is poor or rich, he wants to be the man in the relationship. Financially.
There are exceptions.
Its better you show appreciation for his "crumbs" than taken over the relationship financially.
Don't get me wrong, there are times to be kind and all that..

The males harping on a woman's financial independence on nairaland i feel are those who are only too painfully aware of poverty. Or who are broke.
On a general note, men don't care if a woman has money or not. Are you submissive as his woman?

Most financially stable guys with unskewed mindset about money push for a wholesome development of their women rather than just focusing on her financial capability.

Blackfyre:
Damn woman!!! You dey burst my head!!!!

I was just about to emboldened the part before i saw you edited, "are you submissive as his woman".

You nailed everything perfectly! By the power of the almighty God, you will end up with the right man from God to you. You will never miss it IJN, Amen!

Incrizz:
Lol...women love being women. Women enjoy being women and it's a known fact.

But I feel a lot of women don't know that men enjoy being themselves.

zainmaxwell:
seem like you live a do me I do u life

Incrizz:
Lool...thanks.

Incrizz:
I don't do insinuations...
I can't wrap my head around what you just wrote. What does it mean?

Blackfyre:
Talk na.....i want to hear what you have to say...

Missali:
One of the qualities men look out out for in a woman is the ability for her to stay true by him during trying times and a woman who cannot do that is termed a non wife material and slay Queen at best and at worst, a gold digger.
It is believed that when a woman supports her man and he comes to, in turn he will respect her and share responsibilities as he should but often times, this is not the case.

Many at times we have heard experiences from family, friends, colleagues or even gone through it.
Here's mine: I had this boyfriend that was struggling in every sense of the word. We kept on despite his financial shortcomings and I would travel a long distance to see him knowing fully well that the trip expenses and all that came with it were on me. I did not hesitate to oblige favours that I could give and ensured I went out with him during his jobs just to give that moral support.
This is where you first started going wrong..... hubby package to bf is a no no

Things seemed to be going on well until the day I was sitting with some friends and one of them asked how I was enjoying with my boyfriend. I responded with a light laugh and he asked "now that your guy has made it, what is the way forward?"

Me: Made it how?
Guy: Your guy hit over one million in that online betting promo.
Me: Yes yes, it's not easy... Such an unexpected favour at a time like this.

I pretended to be aware and happy but I wasn't myself till the end of the day. Everybody knew the good news except me.
One week, two weeks, one month passed and I got no call from my estranged boyfriend to even tell me what had happened. I refused to call too.

I heard news about how he had become the man about town, declaring free drinks for people he met at our street bars, dashing money to those who came to celebrate with him etc. Whenever someone who knew us sighted me they asked, "are you not M's girlfriend?" and I mumbled any answer that came to mind.
Months later I got a call from him begging to see Me. After many refusals, I decided we meet. He went on his knees apologising, saying he knew I was aware of all that had happened but was too ashamed to contact me. He went on about how he rented an apartment for one girl, was giving out money with reckless abandon, purchased an expensive mobile phone which he ended up selling at an abysmally low price (due to hardship) and how he was popping bottles at bars et al.

The length and breadth of the story was that the money was all gone. The business idea we had brainstormed he made no use of the money to invest. All his friends and girlfriends had left him for good and he felt lonely, he remembered the one who stood by him sincerely.

At the moment he had not a penny, with an empty stomach and looking for a way to get a small job. I could tell he was miserable from his looks alone. If only he had the right company who would have advised him at such a critical time, he'd never have had to go hungry again. I took him to a restaurant and we had a nice meal. He called me a good girl, a loving friend, a confidant blah blah blah.

Ladies, they will come at you with twisted words tell you they want a good woman, a patient woman, a supportive woman etc. Some will even tell you that they can never respect a woman who does not struggle with them. Do not fall for it. Most times, what they want is someone to take their excesses while they move on to cast their net elsewhere. For tens of stories about men who stick by their women when the going got smooth, there are hundreds of untold stories about men who looked the other way.

Playing the supportive role is the case of it may work and it may not. It is not stated anywhere that after standing by him and he leaves for another woman, he will be mobbed. You will simply be remembered as 'the one who once was', that's all.

It is a case of driving into a place with the words "cars parked at owner's risk." Nobody will tell you not to park your car but you hold yourself liable should anything happen to it. Hence, stand by your man at owner's risk.


Cc: Lalasticlala
Cc: Farano
Cc: Rocktation
Cc: Mynd44

makydebbie:
Have to say about?