₦airaland Forum

ABINTUK:
I have spoken with her countless times but she keeps on repeating it. I thought helping her to do the cooking will make her happy. But no, she doesnt even appreciate it yet.

OP look for your true wife or you change your mentality. Case close

I will advice you to break up with your fiancée. I think she does not have utmost respect for you. That's why she is refusing to serve you on dining table. Most of my female friends serve me on the dining table when I visit them or they visit me. It is not a big deal to Ladies of good upbringing.

biacan:
Why do you want to create problems where there seems to be none....... can't you serve yourself I still don't know why you men always try to complicate your relationships...... just serve yourself is as simple as ABC...... go ask around most Nigerian men don't like their wives serving them food when they are around cause they know she will be probably tired...... I hope these information helps

C'mon Shut Up Ur Mouth Jare How Does The Third Party Serving Food To His Man Complicate D Rlationship Whats Now Her Obligation Then As A Woman Under A Man's Roof Dont U Think Well Or U Write Cuz U R Od D Same Gender."go Ask Some Nigerian Men Dont Like Their Wives Serving Them Food When There R Around" U B Witch How U Take Dey See People Private Matters 4rm Ur House Lass U Better Grow Up With Ur Thinking Thank U

biacan:
I thought you said you're a chef so you cooking at your own house shouldn't be a problem......cause most chef don't like women cooking for them.......

The last point you made stating that is her primary duty to cook and serve you as a wife where was it written that it's the duty of a woman to cook and serve her husband meals that should be 50/50 so we it gets to her turn she might be tired due to her daily routine so as a husband you need to understand your wife and be a good listener or do you want her to fall down when cooking in the kitchen don't ruin your home with that African mentality it is the cause of many broken homes I hope these helps

sometimes is wrong with you!
I'm guessing your mother used to sit while your father serves him food? Nonsense!

MrBottle:
For the sake of knowledge, reference purposes and ability to win arguments in the near future, where exactly was it written that cooking and serving of foods is the woman primary responsibility. The bible said women must labour to bring children to the world while men will labour to till the soil. Ain't seeing where it is written that women should cook and serve. All dem bible women has maidservants/menservants, slaves/ househelp etc...if you need one go ahead and get one.

Mr Man,sharrap there O
so your mother used to serve your father when you were growing up?

Never marry a woman who sees you as an equal




If only pastors can take out a Sunday and address the youths on family values and stuffs



When we see our mothers kneel to serve our fathers don't tell me you didn't feel that pride that your father is a strong willed man?

The rise of this feminism bullsht is really destroying relationships.
Our African women are gullible and easily influenced, they just copy anything they see on TV/internet even if it goes against their moral values.

it's really sad!

ABINTUK:
I have been dating my Fiancee for two years now, and in a couple of months from now, we will be hosting our wedding propper.

The problem I have with her which I just noticed recently is that she hates to serve me food. I didnt notice all these habits because we were not staying together. But for the past four months that we have been living together I began to notice this habit.

However, I am a good cook. I do most of the cookings which I believe should have been her primary duty, but just to tell her to take the food from the freezer and warm for us to eat becomes a problem. She will start telling me that she is weak, she is having headache, she wants to go and pee or poo, or that she is not hungry. But the moment I go in to the kitchen and warm the food, you will see her with all smiles coming to eat.

To be fair to her, there are some days she attempts to serve me meal, but then she must ensure that I make the garri while she warms the soup. Or I bring washhand water and drinking water to the table before she serves the food.

She is a very good lady in other areas, but this aspect is killing the love daily. She is always happy that am always doing the cooking which am equally happy too. I have complained for over uncountable times, yet no remedy. She keep saying she will change.

Although I do the cooking, is it too much for her to serve me meals whenever I want to eat? Our wedding is coming up few months from now, and this singular act is making me to give a second thought.

What do I do please...

Seun
Lalasticlacla

You go still wash pant. Kwantinue.

Greatzeus:
So Everytime you want to eat as a husband,you go to the pot and dish out your food? While your wife watch Telemondo? Are you sure it's not your picture inside that bottle that was found on the beach

Don't mind many people on this forum. Most give out advices that they themselves can't follow and end up complicating things.

OP,
Communication is key in every relationship. Abeg you, try and talk to her in every subtle way as possible, don't make it look imposing. U say she's OK u to in every other thing. Just talk to her and I pray for changes that'd benefit you both

nanauju:
Don't mind many people on this forum. Most give out advices that they themselves can't follow and end up complicating things.

OP,
Communication is key in every relationship. Abeg you, try and talk to her in every subtle way as possible, don't make it look imposing. U say she's OK u to in every other thing. Just talk to her and I pray for changes that'd benefit you both

Well, I have discussed with her a good number of times. For everytime I talk to her she begs endlessly. But after like a week or two, she continues her usual character.
Lastnight, I told her to prepare noodles for me but she replied that she was tired, probably after eating her own meal. Well, I had to cook the noodles myself. I was extremely upset.
So today I decided to disban every form of intimacy and proceeded in declaring a pararell relationship. That is to say "everyone to his/her self".
I also warn her not to serve me food again till further notice.
This very habit is really discouraging me.

MrRichmond:
[s]The rise of this feminism bullsht is really destroying relationships.
Our African women are gullible and easily influenced, they just copy anything they see on TV/internet even if it goes against their moral values.

it's really sad![/s]

sharap!

I personally don't see why she should object to cooking for you and yet expects you to cook for her. Something is wrong somewhere. Maybe she's the breadwinner, or she contributes as much as you do

Men need to understand that when women starts shooting cash, the rules change. He who pays the Piper dictates the tune.

That being said, she's way out of line!

https://www.nairaland.com/901342/it-normal-wife-ignore-serving


Another topic on the “serving” matter.

ABINTUK:
I have been dating my Fiancee for two years now, and in a couple of months from now, we will be hosting our wedding propper.

The problem I have with her which I just noticed recently is that she hates to serve me food. I didnt notice all these habits because we were not staying together. But for the past four months that we have been living together I began to notice this habit.

However, I am a good cook. I do most of the cookings which I believe should have been her primary duty, but just to tell her to take the food from the freezer and warm for us to eat becomes a problem. She will start telling me that she is weak, she is having headache, she wants to go and pee or poo, or that she is not hungry. But the moment I go in to the kitchen and warm the food, you will see her with all smiles coming to eat.

To be fair to her, there are some days she attempts to serve me meal, but then she must ensure that I make the garri while she warms the soup. Or I bring washhand water and drinking water to the table before she serves the food.

She is a very good lady in other areas, but this aspect is killing the love daily. She is always happy that am always doing the cooking which am equally happy too. I have complained for over uncountable times, yet no remedy. She keep saying she will change.

Although I do the cooking, is it too much for her to serve me meals whenever I want to eat? Our wedding is coming up few months from now, and this singular act is making me to give a second thought.

What do I do please...

Seun
Lalasticlacla

Op, i am not sure you have asked this lady pertinent questions. It appears you dont know how to draw answers right from the heart of a woman. I am not 100% traditional in perspectives as a lady myself. But courtsey demands that when a man decides to cook, serving him food should not be a problem. She is not being appreciative of the sort of man you are. And i sense you have been too relaxed.

To be honest, you will need to put that wedding on hold until you have both sorted this issue once and for all. I dont think this lady is meant for you. I even fear there are other issues about her you are yet to mention. Now that you have enforced a rule in creating a distance between you two, dont you think it is best you both dont live together? Couples living together before marriage is a no-no. Overfamiliarity breeds contempt especially when marriage is not in sight.

biacan:
Why do you want to create problems where there seems to be none....... can't you serve yourself I still don't know why you men always try to complicate your relationships...... just serve yourself is as simple as ABC...... go ask around most Nigerian men don't like their wives serving them food when they are around cause they know she will be probably tired...... I hope these information helps

haba! this is not an excuse. whats wrong with serving ur husband food? hw many married nigerian men have um
met dat dnt like their wife serving them food.


u sound like a sidechick.

realtalk19:
haba! this is not an excuse. whats wrong with serving ur husband food? hw many married nigerian men have um
met dat dnt like their wife serving them food.


u sound like a sidechick.

Well done real chick......

biacan:
I thought you said you're a chef so you cooking at your own house shouldn't be a problem......cause most chef don't like women cooking for them.......

The last point you made stating that is her primary duty to cook and serve you as a wife where was it written that it's the duty of a woman to cook and serve her husband meals that should be 50/50 so we it gets to her turn she might be tired due to her daily routine so as a husband you need to understand your wife and be a good listener or do you want her to fall down when cooking in the kitchen don't ruin your home with that African mentality it is the cause of many broken homes I hope these helps

ar u sure u ar not the op fiance sister?

try to understand the OP's question

Hope it makes your BLOKOS STRRRRRRONGER every night!


I “heard” that women “serving” men food ON THEIR KNEES helps to cure IMPOTENCE!

Oga postpone the Marriage for now, this is not a small issue as you see it, she will unleash her full character when you marry her, Just 4 months she is misbehaving, sit her down and tell her what you don't like in her behaviour, don't shout on her, discuss with her, tell her you are postponing the wedding because of this, she will sit up, if she's remorseful go ahead and marry her

realtalk19:
ar u sure u ar not the op fiance sister?

try to understand the OP's question

I'm the fiance [ so now are you satisfied

Greatzeus:
So Everytime you want to eat as a husband,you go to the pot and dish out your food? While your wife watch Telemondo? Are you sure it's not your picture inside that bottle that was found on the beach

lol. i was surprised at the response too.

Vyolet:
Nawa o, this act of equality is eating deep into our women o.
This is simple na,why can't a woman serve her man, she does the cooking, cleans the kitchen and place the food on the table and calls him to come and they eat together. It is a form of bonding and they even gist while eating and tease each other. It is as easy as that.
If you boil water for your partner, wash his clothes once in a while, take care of the house, if possible brush his teeth and cut his nails, they are all ways of showing love, all these won't stop you from being opinionated or outspoken or even dictate to him.

This love is not hard to play, it is easy to tame your partner but we use little act of carelessness to spoil things for ourselves later we will call men jacks, not all of them.

tank u my sister. some men love to be pampered and respected

all I see here is a marriage where there would be no respect for you.... the fact is she took advantage of you cooking

that's why whoever said give a woman 2 she'll take 5 wasn't wrong

trash it now or you regret it forever... imagine, someone trying to be at least modern taken for granted

ABINTUK:
I love cooking and besides am a chef.
But I believe that having helped her to do the cooking she should help me in serving the meal whenever I want to.

I really hate what she is doing.... am just fvcking tired of it.
Lastnight she refused to prepare noodles for me. But she was able to warm her food and eat. So this morning I told her not to be serving me food again, that we should just be living like two pararrell people who met by chance.

With this new sanction, anything intimacy has been disbanded till further notice. Although she is not at ease with this new policy of mine, but I see it as a way to go at the moment. Gradually we might be seeing ourselves from a distance.

I think there is a big problem here and every body seems to be cool with it. Am not trying to criticize neither am I righteous, but WHAT THE Bleep HAS HAPPENED TO SANCTITY IN MARRIAGE...... Thats the problem i see here, not married but living together and even proudly telling the world....

Hmmm*** SPITS***

u need to wear d pants in your home. its not about food its about control. let her know you she is wrong. dont be soft. rules are established at the beginning of every relationship.

Proudgorgeousga:
sharap!

Oh! did I pull your tiny legs or hurt your fragile heart?? Alright... run along now and go hug a teddy bear. Daddy is busy now, he will cum take care of you later...

biacan:
I thought you said you're a chef so you cooking at your own house shouldn't be a problem......cause most chef don't like women cooking for them.......

The last point you made stating that is her primary duty to cook and serve you as a wife where was it written that it's the duty of a woman to cook and serve her husband meals that should be 50/50 so we it gets to her turn she might be tired due to her daily routine so as a husband you need to understand your wife and be a good listener or do you want her to fall down when cooking in the kitchen don't ruin your home with that African mentality it is the cause of many broken homes I hope these helps

biacan!!! Mpia gi! A lady wey no fit go dish food for her husband-to-be that one serious for marriage?

property123:
So advise him how he can fix it. May I ask you if your in a relationship?

I have already given him my honest advise, it's now his responsibility to put things to work.

The answer to your question is a yes. People have real life issues and as far as i'm concerned, this should not be one.

People should grow up before thinking of marriage, it will do all of us a lot of good

@OP

You're rather seeing her negative attitude in this regard from the surface, the root issue is that she's a self-centered woman. And don't forget that major accompany vices of it are hypocrisy, ungratefulness and insatiableness - you may not be insightful to observe them now, but she'll surely begin to mete them out to you in the near future.

If you're not ready to be subjugable to her for the rest of your life, kindly call her to order to embrace a change of ethical leanings - she can change for good if she volitionally wishes to, because where there's a will there's a way. However, if she refuses to change for good, consider to discard her.

Oyindidi:
biacan!!! Mpia gi! A lady wey no fit go dish food for her husband-to-be that one serious for marriage?

Aunty your nor as a young girl "which I am" all this things are stressful for me


But why can't men serve themselves biko

boliswitpassprik:
Mr Man,sharrap there O
so your mother used to serve your father when you were growing up?

I grew up in a balanced household where no man knows which chores is meant for man or a woman.
Continue waiting to be serve and end up starving to death.
Imagine relying on someone to feed myself....come suck breast join

biacan:
Aunty your nor as a young girl "which I am" all this things are stressful for me


But why can't men serve themselves biko

They are not used to doing that. In this case, the man prepared the food and he asked her to serve him

My dear, don't blame the op for getting angry. You better start learning now