₦airaland Forum

CaptainJeffry:
This case is delicate and requires maturity when handling. By your actions, you have simply pushed your wife into the arms of that dude.

bezimo:
Any girl who is more close to guys or has a male bestie is a suspect and potential hoe..
Thats how i dumped a girl recently when i saw that her bestie nah guy. Eh!! I nor waste my time. I nor get power to dey scrutinize and monitor.

Donald3d:
Not again , person come dey fear to marry na , una wey don marry just dey make person fear everyday .Shey I go marry like this sha ,chei
Anyway.....
Situations like this to be honest would be very hard to solve(she is unwilling to do anything about it) , this is why you should always make it clear the things you like and the things you dont like before marrrying your partner .

Your madam was very very very very wrong on all levels ,
1.She is not supposed to go to a single guys room and vice versa
2.She is not supposed to collect anything from him , You should be the one to go to him if your family needs his assistance.
3.The height of it is her inivting him to your house at night to watch match by 10pm !!!!, like what the ....

Now to your own part
-If she has not always being like this, then something is wrong , and its at the foundation
-How often do you and your wife do things together ?, because from the look of things , if you observe critically and psychologically , its not just about collecting things from him , and she also might not be cheating on you, the koko here is SHE ENJOYS HIS COMPANY.Thats why she finds it hard to stop .
-Is your wife your best friend ? , how do you correct her when she is wrong (by shouting or in a loving manner)
-How well do you tell her sweet words and comment on her beauty
-How well do you give her time just to listen to her
-I know its hard creating time for all these with work and everything but you have to try .
-Women love someone who makes them feel safe and alive, someone who listens to their fears and worries and anything they have to say -Be her friend !
-Have a heart to heart talk with her, tell her calmly why what she is doing is wrong .
-Never stop telling her you love her , even when you are angry with her
-Try and get her busy , so she would have less time to even think he exists
-Bring back respect into your home , not just her respecting you , but you also respecting her .She has obviously lost respect for you
-Above all while you take actions talk to God about everything .

Act fast , because that guy na sharp guy, he knows where you are lacking and he is capitalizing on it , thats the advantage side chicks and side guys always have over the main partner "filling the empty spaces"

No matter what you do ,use wisdom and be calm and loving about it
God bless your marriage


MODIFIED : Women please stop assuming your husband would automatically know what you are thinking or feeling , talk to him if you feel he is not doing something right , not all men are mind readers biko, sometimes he honestly has no clue what you need until you open up,same goes for men too

Abeg make una check my signature

dingbang:
The bible says a woman can use her hands to destroy her marriage...

GAZZUZZ:
lost sittuation. You are not a man.

It is not about money, or physical strength. Your wife is lost.

Do not bother salvaging this marriage, because it will not work.

gidob:
You spoke like a Muslim!!
defective Reasoning..... It would hve been better, if you had read without commenting

Donald3d:
Not again , person come dey fear to marry na , una wey don marry just dey make person fear everyday .Shey I go marry like this sha ,chei
Anyway.....
Situations like this to be honest would be very hard to solve(she is unwilling to do anything about it) , this is why you should always make it clear the things you like and the things you dont like before marrrying your partner .

Your madam was very very very very wrong on all levels ,
1.She is not supposed to go to a single guys room and vice versa
2.She is not supposed to collect anything from him , You should be the one to go to him if your family needs his assistance.
3.The height of it is her inivting him to your house at night to watch match by 10pm !!!!, like what the ....

Now to your own part
-If she has not always being like this, then something is wrong , and its at the foundation
-How often do you and your wife do things together ?, because from the look of things , if you observe critically and psychologically , its not just about collecting things from him , and she also might not be cheating on you, the koko here is SHE ENJOYS HIS COMPANY.Thats why she finds it hard to stop .
-Is your wife your best friend ? , how do you correct her when she is wrong (by shouting or in a loving manner)
-How well do you tell her sweet words and comment on her beauty
-How well do you give her time just to listen to her
-I know its hard creating time for all these with work and everything but you have to try .
-Women love someone who makes them feel safe and alive, someone who listens to their fears and worries and anything they have to say -Be her friend !
-Have a heart to heart talk with her, tell her calmly why what she is doing is wrong .
-Never stop telling her you love her , even when you are angry with her
-Try and get her busy , so she would have less time to even think he exists
-Bring back respect into your home , not just her respecting you , but you also respecting her .She has obviously lost respect for you
-Above all while you take actions talk to God about everything .

Act fast , because that guy na sharp guy, he knows where you are lacking and he is capitalizing on it , thats the advantage side chicks and side guys always have over the main partner "filling the empty spaces"

No matter what you do ,use wisdom and be calm and loving about it
God bless your marriage


MODIFIED : Women please stop assuming your husband would automatically know what you are thinking or feeling , talk to him if you feel he is not doing something right , not all men are mind readers biko, sometimes he honestly has no clue what you need until you open up,same goes for men too

Abeg make una check my signature

AllforJesus7:
Lol I understand you. There is nothing between you and the lady. You only flirt with her and she sent you a bill. Because you respect your home.

Same with your wife.

There is nothing between her and the neighbor. They only just flirt with each other and she sends him her bill and picks items from his fridge.

See?


Fact is you are just childish and immature like I said. What is good for the goose is good for the gander. The fact that an anonymous lady sends you a bill puts you in the same shoes with your wife. Both of you have issues. And I'm very much sure if we hear her own side of the story the opinion of many people here about you will change. They will see you in your true color.

https://www.nairaland.com/1125744/slapped-fiancee-insulting-elder-sister

https://www.nairaland.com/4186404/lady-thinks-im-atm-machine.....part

https://www.nairaland.com/3589656/wonder-why-wife-hard

Let the change begin with you. Grow up! When you do your wife will stop visiting neighbors.


Stay blessed.

berrystunn:
Suspecting her of what?
You don't have female close friend, ??
All I see is jealousy and insecurity...

When you feeling uncomfortable because she have a male friend. It's means you are not in control of are heart,

You feel you dumped her , you did not because you only feel jealous and insecurity over her because of another man , u where afraid of reality not dump

Be ready to dump the next one because men will always try to win her heart from his bf or husband.

If you win the heart of your wife or gf, you will be in control , she will be the one to feel jealous and insecurity, monitoring your phone, calls chat , etc

When you win her heart you can easily stop her from anything you want her to stop doing , very easy because she is afraid to lose you.

Bro go and learn how to make a woman love you..how to win the heart of a woman.

Zykod:
Guy, handle your home well na.

1. Complain to the landlord about the neighbors been unusually close to your wife


2. Talk to the so-called close neighbors about your displeasure about all this


3. Whatever excuses pushes your wife to his place, buy it and there wont be excuse


4. Your woman is loose, don't mind my tips above, but just try to fix these loose ends...


5. Call and inform her relatives


6. Bringing in one of your own relatives


7. Start initiating video calls not just voice calls.

8. It's not good for your kids to see another male figure in the house o. This is not good, why do you stay far from your wife? Always, i repeat always choose the house your rent in accordance with your wife's behavior. Your wife can't stay in a compound or area with too many people around, find an area that's secluded, an area where no idle people to rent next time

bezimo:
What are you talking about or trying to justify..
There is no way you want to paint it that will make it acceptable!!
A normal guy should also have a guy as his best friend..not a woman..
I have female friends..but my girl is more closer to me than them..When you are in a relationship..your partner should be your best friend as it were.

That is how the other day we saw how a girl who was in a relationship yet hoeing with her so called bestie guy.You think that is acceptable. No guy should take that B.S

berrystunn:
What do you understand by best friends and dating, relationship?

If you can convert her to be your best friend it's cool, do you know what it's takes and how to go about it?

Someone with jealous attached can not.. Someone with insecurity can not..

Your best friend will over look too many things, if you are in a relationship she will not over look those things..

That means it's can't work out.

Guy try to be in control of her heart...
Let her be on insecurity

bukatyne:
@point 8, abeg!

Lol!

bezimo:
I stand not to be corrected.. a girl bestie should be a fellow girl like her or her guy or husband or partner.. Imagine a married woman having a bestie as a guy!! and you are saying nonsense. Abeg i nor fit shout!!

Any girl having many guys as friends and a guy as a bestie is a big error and shouldnt be acceptable to any guy. She is potential hoe!!

bezimo:
I stand not to be corrected.. a girl bestie should be a fellow girl like her or her guy or husband or partner.. Imagine a married woman having a bestie as a guy!! and you are saying nonsense. Abeg i nor fit shout!!

Any girl having many guys as friends and a guy as a bestie is a big error and shouldnt be acceptable to any guy. She is potential hoe!!

berrystunn:
You don't even have a girlfriend, not to talk of wife..
Life is still like a movie to you.

When you start keeping a normal relationship... Then you will understand.

SilvanusII:
So, it would seem more acceptable and less suspicious if the neighbour were a married man abi? I'm not really sorry to say u r quite daft acting in that manner.
Besides, ur wife is NOT ur slave. I applaud her steadfast refusal to have her turn a doormat.
Sit her down, and looking for thw trust that existed before u decided to wife her, ask her whats up between both of them. Take her answer HONESTLY. If she is lying, trust me, one day, the truth will be exposed and she will be disgraced. Leave ur children out of ur stupidity abeg.

alfredo4u:
I will try and make it brief...few month before I got my new job that took me out of my former location. During that period, I do all I can to make sure me and my family feed well and manage the way we can.

During that period, there is this guy in my neighborhood that my wife always confide in, at times she goes to his place to collect whatsoever she want in the guys fridge to eat. Which I warned her to stop doing and always manage what we have in the house with the children.

One night around 10:30pm, I caught her carrying things in her hand coming from the guys room, with that annoyance I slapped/kick her not minding the same guy coming at her back. Although, me and this guy do help each other whenever we do need each others help.

After that incident, I seriously warned her to stop entering any single guys apartment and to stop allowing guys into my apartment whenever I'm not around.

Just last two weeks, I called her around 10pm to wish her a wonderful night rest, during that call, I heard a voice in the background, I ask her who was that, only for her to tell me is the guy I asked her to stop entering my place whenever am not around. That he is watching match in my parlour. Immediately I banged the call.

The next morning, I called her and was correcting her of what she did, I asked her just one question 'what did she think the neighbours will say if they see him coming out of my place by that time of the night?......She started nagging on the phone and said she have her life to live, and I have mine and I can't stop her from the way she live her life....I now reminded her that I'm her husband and she should live to my expectations and abide by my rules, she said never. With that annoyance, I told her I will never send her feeding allowance to her again, that whenever she needs the children food, she should go to the supermarket across and collect their food. Although I do deposit cash for the children provisions up front.

Since that day, I stopped calling her and she never calls. Right now, I'm thinking of pulling my children away from her before she will corrupt the children.

House, pls kindly advise......pls if you don't have any useful advise, pls jump and pass ohhhhh. No insults pls

DedeNkem:
When I read to where you stated you "slapped/kicked" your wife, I stopped reading immediately.

You're a f*ucking monster. Did the slapping and kicking of your wife make you proud? Did it erase your low self esteem? I hate imb*eciles like you who beat women!!

You're lucky I don't know where you id*iot live, I would have made a few calls to give you a beating of your pathetic life! You f"ucking idiot!!

alfredo4u:
Go and marry and pay bride price first before replying my post. Seeing your wife misbehaving and always claims she is the head of the house. Not taking instructions from you, not once, not twice, abandoned your 2years baby in bedroom by 11pm and went to man house.

I pity you

obekediamondfuto:
bros u lost ur wife since oh, no need beating her..... send her packing. shikena...., I don't think the relationship can be salvaged. I'm sure u married a slay queen who likes cold drinks, she was already used to cold drinks and late nights.... possibly spent most of her teenage life in bars, clubs and hotels.

a lesson for u guys out there, cold drinks and late nights are serious red flags.... don't indulge, I repeat don't indulge except its short term engagement!

N s−2

alfredo4u:
Go and marry and pay bride price first before replying my post. Seeing your wife misbehaving and always claims she is the head of the house. Not taking instructions from you, not once, not twice, abandoned your 2years baby in bedroom by 11pm and went to man house.

I pity you

obekediamondfuto:
sorry @ op I forgot to ask, do u have fridge in ur house?

if no, maybe we can start from there, get a mortuary standard fridge, change the channel to African magic before ur next travel and take the remote along, get an electrician to hide ur dstv decoder (maybe in the ceiling) and most of all, stock ur fridge heavily before ur next trip!
I hope I'm making sense?
At least
1. she won't have any reason to go to the guys house 2. the guy won't have any tangible reason to come to ur house wen u r not around ( which kain football be that wey dem dey watch).
3. she might get tired of going out in the night based on African magic.... emphasis on "might". only prayer can solve this one.

once again guys...... cold drinks and late nights........ worst combo ever. if u have a girlfriend with this two traits and u want to marry her, have a rethink. ponder on these thoughts: what if u r not around, what if there is a strong muscular nigga in the neighborhood, and most of all..... what if ur fridge spoil? very very vital questions!!

no hope

Zykod:
You lost your wife since. She don see you finish, hence will never respect you. Start manipulating her with what she needs most from you if you dont want a divorce. Use sex, money etc to treat her fvck up.