Safiaaa:
There’s nothing about shame here. It’s about being smart and knowing what you deserve. You have to pay the price either directly or indirectly. Whether you replace him or get a maga. Everything in this life is replaceable whether shameful or not, so quit that mentality.

All I’m saying is do your job, I do mine. Simple.

Sterope:
I am tired. You have no argument!

dominique:
Not all marriages, some men are very hands on with house chores and child care. Besides, some women bring this upon themselves. You will go to a man's personal and family homes and turn yourself into their glorified maid just to prove you're 200 yards of wife material. How won't they take you as a glorified maid in marriage?

Some women will go ahead to marry a man that unapologetically told her that chores are solely a woman's duty because they're desperate to marry. Once married, they will see how draining all that housework but they won't be able to complain too much because that's what they signed up for.

Marriage shouldn't be as hard as our people are making it. All it involves are partnership, effective communication, mutual respect and understanding.

princefunmmy:

What Happens to a society without shame? Getting a maga is against the contract of marriage both legally and morally.
Let me say it again, equality is not a standard way here but equity where one party must surely do more than the other (but not that one party neglects it responsibilty or feel its too bursdensome and so avoid it)

bukatyne:


Funny you.

If she is a liability to you financially, you are a liability to her domestically except you do chores with her.

Safiaaa:
If you’re not doing your job as a husband to provide fully for me, yet expect me to cook clean and help you with the bills, I have the right to be separated ted from you. I have the right to find someone else who will make my life stress free. Same way if the woman is not doing her wifely duties, realistically what do men do? Be real with yourself. People always taking about morals, not realising that whether indirectly or directly womanhood has a price. We are all hypocrites.

Listen. All I’m saying is, if it’s 50/50, play your role significantly. I may still end up doing more house chores but play your role significantly.Help me to Cook,clean,take care of the kids and I will also help you out financially. If you want to take care of all the finances and my needs, then I will do the rest. There will always be minor exceptions but let the roles be finalised.

erico2k2:

Who does 50/50 in Nigeria ?
In the west yes they do but that's a different society . Nigeria ni equal responsibility btw husband and wife

Safiaaa:
ok ohh

erico2k2:

But nah true nah,the cold here dey make women brain correct but in 9ja everywhere is HOT and man's not Hot .
Marriage is the most u predictable institution in the whole world but there is blessing in marriage I can attest to that . I GAINED more when married than when single but . I married my best friend we dont have rules . We just do it.

Safiaaa:
That’s wonderful. Where do you reside?

Proudgorgeousga:


wrong most men in Nigeria believe household work is women's job alone
that is why they ask useless questions like "can you cook? " on a first date
.
in most homes the wife carries both financial burden and household burden we all have mothers here.

how many households have the financial power to hire cooks and housekeeper?

nothing like ad hominem here. you made it sound like what the OP described is rare while it is the reality in many homes.

She has no point, not all household are run like that, she can speak for her marriage, a lot of couples these days come to an agreement , besides its in Nigeria that we actually have more housemaids than outside country especially in Lagos.

erico2k2:

Somewhere in North London

pcguru1:


Ha this is what i said o

She has no point, not all household are run like that, she can speak for her marriage, a lot of couples these days come to an agreement , besides its in Nigeria that we actually have more housemaids than outside country especially in Lagos.

I never said it's not a reality compared to the sweeping statement, I only said she can only speak for her marriages and those she knows of.

princefunmmy:

I usually don't argue, i only want you to see it from another side

Safiaaa:
enjoying the horrible snow?

erico2k2:

ahaha Yes,ohh, but I'm sure people in Eastern Europe are laughing at us, they get 10 times this amount of SNOW

Safiaaa:
I know, but we’re honestly not used to this. That’s why everyone is going crazy.

erico2k2:

Apparently, its going to continue till midnight now this one !

Safiaaa:
Im fed up. I’m stuck in the hou ;Dse because I can’t do anything

erico2k2:

well it aint that bad, roads are gritted.my street has a slope and its one way, but its all good, snow or no snow, I'm going south London to go drink that pepper soup

Safiaaa:
Lol. Maybe it’s because I live outside London so its bad for me.

Save some pepper soup for me ohh

erico2k2:

AH me Im going Old Kent Rd, this weather deserve hot pepper.Ok will keep two plates 4 U!

dominique:


My husband does chores, my father does chores as well. Both MEN work and provide for the family and that didn't stop them from assisting in the running of the home. Assisting your wife with the chores doesn't make you less of a man, it only shows that you're caring and considerate. You work in a fully air-conditioned office yet you think you work harder than the one bursting her limbs to keep the home in order, seriously?

My son turns seven this month and he has been doing housework since last year. I'm raising him that way so he doesn't turn someone else's daughter into his glorified maid. I'm raising my daughter to know her worth and not settle for less in a relationship or marriage. She will never settle for an overgrown boy that thinks he's doing her a favour by marrying her hence she must be their ass locker and ego massager.

movyyzz:
#When the work place had an all men stats employed, men were paid well enough to shoulder solely the financial responsibility of the family. It appears the presence of women amongst workforce reduced men's stats amongst the employed, reduced men's pay, increased men's expenses back home because the housewives seeing how their working counterparts avariciously indulged in expensive lifestyle became lustful of such lifestyle and as such started mounting much pressure on their husband's to provide such ostentatious living conditions for them(the wives).

#So you see, the issue isn't that working men can't solely take care of their families, but that their discontented wives, comparing their living conditions with their working class counterparts(who unbeknownst to them have no such responsibility of solely footing their own family's financial responsibilities like their husband's do) is the genesis of all these hullabaloo...

#Expensive living is not for married men and married women. Expensive living is for single men and single ladies. One who gets a grasp on this would always be at ease, at peace, happy, and blissful....

#As a matter of fact luxury items ain't for the working married class, but for the single working class....

#So, in essence, the culprit in all these is COMPARISON. Do away with comparison as a married lady(with other single luxurious ladies) and you'll definitely enjoy similar, if not even better, living than your single luxurious ladies....

#So, for a lady, you're either married and humbly contented with your man's income, or you're are single and working and contented with your own income. Having it both ways will only cause grieve and pain for both you and your man...

#Hence my insistence that a full time working class lady shouldn't get married but can(if so desired) get a child or children.

movyyzz:
#When the work place had an all men stats employed, men were paid well enough to shoulder solely the financial responsibility of the family. It appears the presence of women amongst workforce reduced men's stats amongst the employed, reduced men's pay, increased men's expenses back home because the housewives seeing how their working counterparts avariciously indulged in expensive lifestyle became lustful of such lifestyle and as such started mounting much pressure on their husband's to provide such ostentatious living conditions for them(the wives).

#So you see, the issue isn't that working men can't solely take care of their families, but that their discontented wives, comparing their living conditions with their working class counterparts(who unbeknownst to them have no such responsibility of solely footing their own family's financial responsibilities like their husband's do) is the genesis of all these hullabaloo...

#Expensive living is not for married men and married women. Expensive living is for single men and single ladies. One who gets a grasp on this would always be at ease, at peace, happy, and blissful....

#As a matter of fact luxury items ain't for the working married class, but for the single working class....

#So, in essence, the culprit in all these is COMPARISON. Do away with comparison as a married lady(with other single luxurious ladies) and you'll definitely enjoy similar, if not even better, living than your single luxurious ladies....

#So, for a lady, you're either married and humbly contented with your man's income, or you're are single and working and contented with your own income. Having it both ways will only cause grieve and pain for both you and your man...

#Hence my insistence that a full time working class lady shouldn't get married but can(if so desired) get a child or children.

Sunexy:
Better remain in your father's house if u find it comfortable...imagine what someone is saying..clearly this 1 will have nothing to offer any man
..whether she has seen any married man that says his working wife will do all domestic chores

remioshy:
only person that talk sense.

PietraK:
God did not create women to be providers or bread winners.

Women were made to support men by cooking their foods and taking care of the home.

The man is responsible for feeding his wife and children and as well provide shelter. His wife in turn rewards him with her duty in keeping the home homely and sex.

If women can identify themselves and appreciate their strength, they will have it easier.

Women get mad when men objectify them as sex beings. They are supposed to embrace their uniqueness and follow nature's plan but they want to be the same with men.

They want to work and be independent. Who will breast feed your infants and cook for your children when you are out doing the man's work of providing for the family.

In fact, I will outlaw female employment in Nigeria if I get to rule the country. Men would work, be forced to be responsible and provide for their family. Enact a law that ensures 70% of men's salaries go to home management which the wife will oversee. will u also force the men to marry the women?or you think they're stoopid like...

I will make a law that will ensure men get married before being employed to avoid men avoiding marriages and leaving women stranded.

This will make the world a better place.

Women want to work, no wahala... If you can combine the work with your responsibilities at home no wahala.

Safiaaa:
If he is asking for 50/50 when contributing to bills and rent, then it’s 50/50 in all aspects of the house, including house chores. Women should please smarten up and stop being so ridiculous.

You want to work, pay rent, cook food take care of kids, what is now his role? Understand your role in the house, you won’t have any problems. Stop trying to be wonder women, you will live a stress free life and benefit more.

Safiaaa:
Really? What Nigerian guy in this generation wants to be responsible for all the bills and finances in the house?